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Post something and then, and only then, will you be able to give abuse. I'll start. I really like Midsomer Murders

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The criteria is one from your everyday life, one celebrity and one historical figure. I would go with my brother, the dick; Bob Arum, who is the biggest promoter in boxing and goes out of his way to hamper the sport because he's a petty, vindictive fool; and the third would be Cesar himself - if I'm going to take a beating I'd like to be able to say it was from someone formidable. This thread originated in Fight Club, where Norton picked his boss, Martha Stewart and 'ol Gandhi.

Rodgers was adament in the fans interview that top priority in the summer will be signing a top quality ready made number 10 , not a young player who needs time to learn/get experience and will be good in the future. He said he wants someone that is ready now to come in a do the job , who is that player ? Eriksen isn't a ready made experienced player , from what ive seen of him he seems overrated anyway. Goetze is another youngster and blatently unrealistic at this moment in time. I haven't a clue to be honest , dont watch or follow much European football anymore.

..during the downturn, depression, recession, whatever the fuck. I was gonna put this in the 'dead pool' thread, but I don't really care whether most of them sink or swim. However, just heard that CitiGroup are in trouble. [YOUTUBE]COSeM2EVkDc[/YOUTUBE] Bunch of 19.5% interest, dodgey card insurance-selling, Indian call centre-using cunts! Fingers crossed here that they disappear from the face of the earth and all their senior management gets arrested by the FBI.

Jon Obi Mikel. Just what is he supposed to do? He doesn't score goals, he doesn't create them, he's not particularly quick or strong and he generally doesn't do anything remarkable for a team that's been successful. Chelsea must only play him because of all the aggro they went through to prise him away from Man U. Rubbish player.

Shearer: "It must have been incredible, can you imagine it? Some of the scenes?" Lineker: "Just think, some of the people who took part in that are still around now!" Hansen: "Well I bet they're not very pleased with themselves." Brilliant. Did anyone hear Hansen's last bit? I thought he said pleased but he might have said proud. Great stuff. Talk about fish out of water.

I know who my money is on............ http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/columnists/brian-reade/Trust-your-manager-before-football-slides-down-the-YouTube-article106103.html Trust your manager.. before football slides down the YouTube Brian Reade THE usually-dismissive radio jock was genuinely impressed by the caller's in-depth knowledge of Alberto Aquilani. He spoke of his box-to-box qualities, turn of speed and cleverness. He eulogised about his ability to ghost into dangerous positions and his peach of a right foot which had a wicked dig on it, as evidenced by classic strikes against Palermo and Siena. "Wow, that's impressive. Are you a dedicated student of Italian football?" asked the jock. "No," came the answer. "But I've seen his clips compilation on YouTube. And I'm telling you he's a definite improvement on Xabi Alonso." And so, my friends, we move effortlessly into a new era of talent appraisal. YouTube Scout takes over from the PlayStation Scout and Fantasy Football League Scout. Soon to be superseded by Twitter Scout. As in "I've been Twittering with my contacts in Osasuna and I'm hearing that Gonzalez lad is a steal at 20mill." Bedroom coaches all, who, thanks to hours spent glaring at stats and videos on their computers, can give you comprehensive run-downs on every pro from Torquay to Tirana. Only they're about as comprehensive as Eton College. If I trained a camera for long enough on my 80-year-old dad kicking about in his back yard, I could set three minutes of it to a Clash soundtrack, and make him look like Lionel Messi. So who do you turn to for the truth in this uncertain world of talent-spotting? Statistics? Not really. Take Alonso. Do you trust the glowing stats which say Liverpool won 67% of the Premier League games he played in these past two years, but only 46% when he was out? Or go with the damning ones which show in his last three seasons he made only six assists and scored ten goals? What about Ex-Player Scout? Do you take Jan Molby's assessment that Alonso will be a massive loss because virtually every pass he selected was the right one? Or do you qualify that by saying most of his passes, like his shots, came from his own half? Fan Scout? Well, for every one who claims Alonso dictated Liverpool's tempo throughout last season, there's one who will say it was an inability to quicken the tempo in those seven home draws (the majority of which Alonso played in) which cost them the title. Surely Media Pundit Scout would know? Not really. I can list half-a-dozen who, up until the end of last season, wrote Liverpool off as a two-man team of Gerrard and Torres. Once a desperate Real Madrid paid twice as much for a near-28-year-old as they could have got him for last summer, Alonso is hailed as the team's lynch-pin, without whom they're screwed. So don't worry YouTube Scouts, you're not alone in your ignorance. The truth is no-one has a clue how much a departing player will be missed until they see how his replacement fits in. And the chances of the new boy's success have little to do with how sexy he looks on camera, but plenty to do with him moving at the right stage of his development, fitting the role his new boss has in mind, his hunger, mental strength, fitness and luck. Your club's manager may not know best, but the chances are he knows better than you, or any other outsider. So trust his call. Because the only other option is to demand he's sacked. And there aren't many YouTube compilations of manager's best bits out there, apart from Graham Taylor howling at the moon and Phil Neal. In other words, you won't have a bloody clue who to replace him with.

Red Nick did a thread asking Dave to "sort his fucking forum out" recently and although I can't remember anything that was in it (probably because I didn't read it - only joking Nick you leg) I agree entirely. Here is a list of a few things that I think would improve the forum. Please feel free to add your own. Another Michael Owen thread on the dark side A big debate about religion More use of smileys and text speak. It makes me lol. lol* More arguing The second coming of Momo More autoplay aids More snidey tagging More whingeing about negging and repping Less use of the word aids *I cringed so hard I got a hemorrhoid when I wrote that.

Everyone seems to have been saying for ages we need a right winger, but Dirk has been our best wide player by a mile this season for me. I'm not just talking about working his balls off either, he's more productive than Riera/Babel or anyone else who plays on our left side. If we couldn't get a versatie player who can play on both wings i'd go out and get a specialist left winger before a right winger. So which wing is the priority for you all this summer?

Why we just not take corners anymore and touch them a bit then run off to defend.

Not sure what it is. But fuck me, it is happening. Come on Villa.

Samuel Eto'o linked with Liverpool move Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez is weighing up a move for Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o in a bid to ensure his side do not rely so heavily on Fernando Torres next season, according to reports in Spain. By Rory Smith Last Updated: 1:50PM BST 30 Mar 2009 Samuel Eto'o linked with Liverpool move The sale of Robbie Keane to his former club Tottenham in January has left Benitez with just youngster David N’Gog as cover for Torres, a situation the Spaniard knows he must remedy if Liverpool are to keep pace with Manchester United and Chelsea. Eto’o has insisted he would like to stay a Camp Nou until his contract runs out in the summer of 2010 and while Benitez would be prepared to wait to land one of Europe’s best strikers on a free transfer, it is thought he may try to exploit the uncertainty surrounding his future to land his man sooner. After coming close to leaving Barcelona last summer, after manager Pep Guardiola revealed the Cameroon international did not feature in his plans, Eto’o has won his place back in emphatic fashion. He tops the Spanish goalscoring charts and has played a key role as Barcelona have threatened to run away with the La Liga title. But Guardiola could still be convinced to cash in on a player unlikely to sign a new deal if a suitable offer arrived as he looks to supplement Europe’s best attacking line with the likes of Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery and Brazilian striker Keirrison. Despite landing two La Liga titles since joining the Catalan side from Real Madrid, as well as playing a key role in winning the 2006 Champions League, Eto’o’s time at Barcelona has been chequered. He is widely considered a source of dressing room discontent and Guardiola had wanted to sell him, along with Deco and Ronaldinho, last summer, but could not find a buyer. Benitez has been promised a transfer kitty of at least £30 million by Liverpool’s owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett, plus whatever he can raise by selling off any of his squad he no longer requires. A striker, as well as cover on the right wing and at right back, are likely to be his priorities, while a second move for Aston Villa captain Gareth Barry is likely

Gotta choose! Which do you prefer? Give instances of which help you make your choice. Although I enjoy both I reckon it's got to be vampires as vampire bitches are always insanely fit. I can't say the same attraction would be there with a wolf-woman. Van Helsing, Bram Stokers and Underworld all have amazing vampire bitches in but I can't think of any fit werewolferettes. So I'm voting Vampire.

With transfer window just a month away, alot of people are using Keane as a reason to get Owen, claiming that although Keane has bagloads of ability he does not measure up to Owens goal scoring record. So I put it to the floor......would rather have Owen at the expense of Keane come next January?? I would stick to Keane as Owen has had his chance at Liverpool. Its a gamble I know, but eventually Keane has to come up good....

Which should I buy, given that I'll only be using it for FIFA or PES? Is there a cost difference?

I think! Junior Ismael from Boavista. Will sign for Liverpool within a couple of days. He'll play for the U18-team, but supposedly train at Melwood a few times a week.

go on, tell me, who has?

http://www.caughtoffside.com/2008/08/03/top-ten-teens-in-the-premier-league-arsenal-liverpool-spurs-manchester-united-manchester-city-everton-and-west-ham-have-a-lot-to-look-forward-to/ I'd have him ahead of both Pacheco and Insua, unless of course he is not a teen and then I'd be an idiot.

I think this will be an easy poll, but I could be wrong...

alot and allot Just because a lot (notice the correct use and spelling here) of other ignorant idiots write this, doesn't make it correct. As you were

What do you like about David Cameron, his team and their policies (apart from not being Gordon Brown, that is)? I'm genuinely interested as I just cannot see any appeal in him whatsoever.

Firstly I apologise for asking this question again as it it only 6 months since I asked a similar question! Now that I've managed to sort out my 'missing' season ticket application with the ticket office (I'm back on the list for 1999) can someone tell me what year they are up to now? I seem to remember someone said 1996 was at the top of the waiting list (6 months ago)?