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It can be the bloke down the baldy bloke down the street with some 21yr old hottie, celebs or indeed fictional characters. I'll start with this from Dirty Dancing, never for the life of me understood why this minger was cast to be the sweetheart of possibly the coolest motherfucker ever Swayze.

Had an argument with my wife yesterday over nothing much, which resulted in her deciding to stamp all over my work laptop !!! I would think to get her sectioned but my mate confessed to me that once he had an argument with his wife, who decided to lie down in the middle of their road (it was about 3am and the road is a backstreet) but mad nonetheless. I realise that "all birds are bonkers" is a common expression, I thought I would put it to the test......

Whilst having a discussion with the love of my life, she declared that "Most blokes have visited a prostitute". I personally haven't, although this has set me thinking that some of you lot are bound to have spent time with. Poll to follow (private poll so be honest...) - if you have any observations and/or recollections, share with the group.

you know what its like, you meet(meat) someone, you spend the first six months smashing the shit out of her back doors, anywhere, anytime, anyhow. No holds barred, rampant sex. Its great, you are head over heels, you propose one night in a drunken stupor, she couldnt be happier. you get married, then it happens.......... fast forward 10 years.......... this is the step by step guide to marital coitus. 1)she fucks off to bed early cos you are watching the footie. you havent had it for 2 weeks and you are gagging for it so you give it half hour then follow her to bed. Right, dont bother trying to kiss her.you both know that you both want to get it over with so you can roll off and get some kip, or head back down stairs for the second half. 2) a quick tweak of the nips will do, spend a minute trying to find talksport on them. 3) Chuck your hand down her bags, you are married so she hasnt bothered to 'mow the lawn'. it takes you five or ten mins to get through the undergrowth and now you are ready for some bean flicking.finally you feel a stirring in your loins, if, like me, your old chap resembles a newborn weasel on an old brillo pad, he will now be starting to stir. 4) Moisture ! jesus ! she is alive after all. i was just about to start CPR. speed it up a bit, second half starts in a few mins. Ok, she cums. 5) time for her to return the favour. She will prob spend 30 seconds psyching herself up before she clambers on you. Simply pop the old man in and hammer away for a good minute (if you been drinking). dont mention the fanny farts. simply pretend they dont exist. Spend this minute thinking of the reasons you dumped your ex who was cock mad and even let you dabble ina bit of 'off roading' occasionally. 6) Shoot your custard. 7) she will prob hover over you for a few seconds when she gets off. this is simply to fire out your muck back on to you, so as soon as he is out , push her to one side, she will appreciate it. 8) race each other to the bathroom, make sure you get there first so you can rinse your cock in the sink while she firs out the remainder of your spud water in the bog. 9) head back to the footie while she scrubs her kipper in the sink. Mills and fucking Boon my friends. Mills and fucking Boon.

Just discovered that my girlfriends a cunt. I have 2 amazing little boys 3 and 7. basically told her i didnt want to be with her anymore and now im feeling like a cunt. Anybody got any advice whos been in this situation before. Feeling Lost is an understatement to what im feeling right now.

Why can the woman you love cause the greatest hatred possible in you? I love my missus dearly, I'm not perfect far fucking from it, but she can stoke a fire in me no man ever could. I honestly can see how men could kill their wives whilst still loving them.

Just heard some woman on 5 live on Fighting Talk saying Luis Suarez should have his own boo boys that follow him around. This was in response to a question of where the boo boys should go this weekend as the national anthems are not being sung at Wembley because of the boo boys. Fucking disgraceful, I guess she thought it was funny. I didn't. I must have lost me sense of humour. We don't need the fucking media bringing all this up again and encouraging the boo boys. I've just emailed them to say what I think as I am fucking seething at the moment.

Why, just fucking why? I gave up going on about a threesome 5 years ago because it doesn't fucking work. When will you fucking learn nagging doesn't work, it makes me an even more stubbord prick if that's possible. Cunts.

Aunty Aveez needs you now!!!! Neg Kopitelewis for me..Dont ask why please...just check out his comments tonight to my goodself and Melons.. he is a naughtyboy and needs a lesson thats lesson not leeson to avoid confusion although leesons negging is welcome here too... Loving you all long time ..in advance. Aunty Aveez

They get a lot of stick from us fella's and a lot of that stick is warranted but without them, what would we do? Their bodies (Mostly) are something of beauty, I don't just mean your stereotypical Playboy Model, I mean all types of women with all their flaws which makes them human. They make us smile, they raise our children and they keep us on our toes. Sure they can be frustrating, annoying and thick but as the legendary James Brown said "This is a mans World but it wouldn't be nothing without a woman part of it." I salute you females, and your amazingly sexy boobs.

Is rapee a word? Anyway, you know the story, the woman was raped in 1988. 16 years later, her attacker won £7m on the lottery and she's claiming damages. Big legal case still ongoing. Someone less lazy than me could dig out a link to the story. Opinions? Should she have a right to his money?