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Captain Willard

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Everything posted by Captain Willard

  1. Captain Willard
    Hopefully self explanatory and maybe cathartic. All you have to do is write the word that you struggle to say out loud. I’ll open the batting with “specific” just can’t say it.
  2. Captain Willard
    It’s over. It’s a filler word now that can be taken out of sentences without losing any of the meaning. Literally meaningless.
  3. Captain Willard
    I have fought a pointless one man battle for years against this, like a Japanese soldier on a lonely pacific island in the 1950s. I’ve given up now. There’s probably someone on a neighbouring island fighting the same futile war of “like” instead of “said”.
  4. Captain Willard
    I'm making a conscious effort not to start sentences with "So...". It's very hard.
  5. Captain Willard
    I’ve eaten a pigs ear. It’s tasty but a lot of gristle.
  6. Captain Willard
    A terse e mail is the English middle class equivalent of a horse’s head in your bed.
  7. Captain Willard
    As an update on the shed, I’ve sent him a terse e mail saying I will acquiesce. No hello, how are you or thanks or have a nice Easter, none of that. This alone will convey to the cunt how much I hate him.
  8. Captain Willard
    He’s got a BSC - bloody stupid cunt
  9. Captain Willard
    I built a shed on my allotment. The fucking jobsworth cunt at the Council is saying it is too big by 2 feet and wants me to demolish it. He’s got his pathetic qualifications on his e mail address. I fucking hate him.
  10. Captain Willard
    Oh my. Those sausages.
  11. Captain Willard
    “Lennon read a book on Marx” in American Pie, a Beatle and a writer in the same song.
  12. Captain Willard
    Today’s breakfast. No beans.
  13. Captain Willard
    Apart from pro beaners obviously.
  14. Captain Willard
    Somebody once called him Squeeler from Animal Farm which is a brilliant spot.
  15. Captain Willard
    Stronts would be there chucking grenades at the mourners.
  16. Captain Willard
    Yes I think that’s a reasonable assumption. The yearning for control over things that are fundamentally uncontrollable maybe. Obviously you get exceptions but generally the state of the front garden is a pretty reliable distinguisher between Tory and Lib Dems voters. It’s less clear re Labour voters.
  17. Captain Willard
    There’s definitely a pattern. Tory voters tend to have tidy gardens with an immaculate but old Honda accord on the drive, Lib Dems don’t prune their roses and drive Citroens.
  18. Captain Willard
    In my experience of political campaigning for Mrs Willard, front gardens are a pretty reliable guide to voting intentions. A scruffy front garden with a French car on the drive is invariably a Lib Dem.
  19. Captain Willard
    Yes you get some great stock from Farmer Gracy. I also travel to Amsterdam a lot with work so buy tubers there and sneak them home in my hand luggage.
  20. Captain Willard
    I m off to the Surrey Dahlia Society tuber sale this weekend. These people are serious growers so they sell excellent stock I lifted some this year and 50% of them rotted away because they got frozen despite being in a shed. The winters down here (just south of london) are pretty mild so I think I'm going to leave them in the ground from now on. No signs of life yet, maybe the a tiny bud. I wont start to really worry until mid April. The tubers in the ground seem solid. I split them every October then replant the tubers. They seem to prefer that.
  21. Captain Willard
    Keep going. Let me know if you want a couple of tubers.
  22. Captain Willard
    Praise for your garden is the best praise.
  23. Captain Willard
    Gardening is a good lesson in life, you over estimate what you can achieve in the short term and under estimate what you can achieve in the long term if you persevere. My roses are finally coming good 3 years after planting them as bare roots. These things take time.
  24. Captain Willard
    He could have called VD and Gomez to stay back. I think everyone was lost in the adrenaline to make sensible decisions.
  25. Captain Willard
    Finished Masters of the Air. It’s an incredibly expensive rip off of Band of Brothers but not as good. The budget was 250m for 10 episodes and by God it shows, astonishing sets and battle scenes. Worth watching if you lower your expectations
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