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Colonel Kurtz

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About Colonel Kurtz

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 23/04/1965

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    Male
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    epsom

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  1. Ha ha. There’s a French expression “Esprit d escaliar” which translates as “spirit of the staircase” which means the witty response that occurs to you as you stomp down the stairs from the apartment having stormed out. I will text my mate your suggestion though it was 20 years ago now.
  2. I was in a pub with strippers once. The chubby middle aged act came on and gave us basically a live lesson in anatomy and specifically gynaecology which has haunted me ever since. When she came round afterwards with a pint glass, my tight mate put 20p in. She loudly called him out on it in front of the whole pub. Happy days.
  3. Colonel Kurtz

    Things that used to be shit but are now much better

    London bus routes are a complete mystery to me. They go on routes that look like they made up by a 5 year old colouring in the A - Z. I go by Tube, makes much more sense.
  4. Is it winner stays on on the pool table ?
  5. Colonel Kurtz

    Things that used to be shit but are now much better

    Personal hygiene. People wash much more and use deodorant. It’s rare to encounter body odour these days but it used to be commonplace. Big sweaty blokes smelling of Brut, B.O and stale cigarettes. People smell much nicer now.
  6. Colonel Kurtz

    Secret Shame

    The final would be Larry David versus Richard Pryor.
  7. Colonel Kurtz

    Secret Shame

    I am a big Frankie Boyle fan. You should do a world cup of comedians. I reckon he'd be good for the semis at least.
  8. Colonel Kurtz

    Secret Shame

    If you watch him week in week out, you will notice that he rarely laughs if other people make a joke that gets a big laugh. This corresponds to my friends experience of him. He’s not widely liked by other comedians on the circuit apparently and he doesn’t do Red Nose Day, go on panel shows or other people’s radio programmes either. I get the impression he’s a moody unpopular cunt.
  9. Colonel Kurtz

    The Foodie thread

    We’ve all tried blowing our own trumpet hence the number of bad backs in the ailment thread.
  10. Colonel Kurtz

    The Foodie thread

    Glad to see you’re doing well. I’m no stranger to self destructing addictions either and being stuck at home has been hard. This is probably why I’m posting shit at 2 am on a monday night. Keep going with the cooking, it sounds like you’re doing brilliantly.
  11. Colonel Kurtz

    The Foodie thread

    Ha ha. Yes I remember him going to business school. Good spot.
  12. Colonel Kurtz

    The Foodie thread

    Although it sounds tasty, you’ve obviously not tried crack cocaine. One of my favourite crack tales is the dealer who laid on a couple of grim hookers as a freebie in his crack house. Apparently the first shot goes straight to your dick so the male customers were going home to shag the missus rather than hang around all night spending £500 plus. He laid on the hookers to counter this and made a lot more money as a result. A great example of a marginal low cost complimentary product enhancing the value of your core offering. They should teach this in business schools.
  13. Colonel Kurtz

    Middle Class Generalisation Thread

    I lick windows, we’ve all got our secrets. Enjoy the colouring. I’m gonna watch the rest of motd2 and shout about VAR.
  14. Colonel Kurtz

    Middle Class Generalisation Thread

    They’ve spelt colouring wrong. That’s why you’re struggling, you’re reading the wrong books.?
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