Oh Buoy

Quote

Black pudding puts off women and young people

Looks like they've provided a scoring system too (based on any items not above getting minus points, disappointing to see black pudding making the list but I guess it won't fuck off like Everton). 

Bacon - 11pts

Sausage - 10pts

Toast - 9pts

Beans - 8pts

Fried egg - 7pts

Hash brown - 6pts

Fried mushrooms - 5pts

Fried bread - 4pts

Grilled tomato - 3pts

Grilled mushroom -2pts

Black pudding - 1pt

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Scrambled egg - -1pts

Poached egg - -2pts

Fried tomato - -3pts

Tinned tomatoes - -4pts

Sautéed potatoes - -5pts

Chips - -6pts

Vegetarian sausage - -7pts

Pancakes - -8pts

Boiled egg - -10pts

White pudding - Reported to the police

https://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/document/s5tcb6u1l8/InternalResults_Full English_W.pdf

23 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I always forget like some kind of hidden repressed memory but salt and vinegar square crisp are unbelievable. Go the shop buy 4 bags minimum.. minimum. 

Bring back 3D Doritos.

Otterspool, £9.99. 

Last orders for breakfast and subbed the black pudding for another hash brown. 3/10. Beans had been nuked which ruined my breakfast, day and quality of life. 

16 minutes ago, Turkish Delight said:

 

They chanted 'fuck Liverpool' near the start and sang 'Go play in the Europa' for most of the second half. Obviously the second is not much of an insult but there was a definite disdain from them.

 

Being close to their fans may have drowned some of our chanting out but I remember passing comment to my mate on how quiet it was compared to other big European nights at 2-0. Second half was near total silence.

Have to agree in CE felt like the minute silence was carrying on at points of the second half.

It was madness at 2-0 though - felt Alisson mistake killed the ground. 

Things I enjoyed about that game: 

"Real Madrid are whores!" at the start of the minutes silence. 

First half (Ali's fuck up aside). 

Nunez. 

Salah's goal. 

Bacjetic (though got exposed towards the end).

Things I didn't enjoy about that game: 

Vini Jr. 

The fella necking Bovril next to me. 

How exposed our midfield becomes.

Atmosphere after 2-2.

Crossing it into a box with no Liverpool plays in. 

Gifting 3 goals to Madrid. 

The fella who smelled like a pickle on the train home. 

Sore feet. 

You're all missing out the top hits: 

SHINE JESUS SHINE

Father Abraham had seven songs

THIS LIL LIGHT OF MINE

He's got the whooooooole world in his hands 

Give me oil in my lamp

11 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Vegan lasagne 

Feel depressed just looking at that. Even the tomatoes are sinking in their fucking misery. 

BBC iPlayer has gone down. 

48 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I was going to applaud this thinking it was another CD masterclass. 

Then I realised it was a jarg merchant trying to outdo Chef CD. 

That's fucking margarine you discoloured flamingo. 

This looks like fucking hell on earth. 

Was driving back home earlier and there's a little shopping bit in Aintree that's on a busy road. When the traffic backs up, the turn into the shopping bit can be blocked easily. Saw a car stop to turn in and some old woman in her Micra was innocently blocking the turn. She decides to reverse a bit to let the car turning head on in. 

Two builders in a car right behind her shit themselves and beeped the shit out of their horn. Old woman was haven't a panic attack in front, arms everywhere for just trying to do a good deed. 

Shouldn't laugh but one of those moments where you're like, "aww, good on her" only for it to go up in flames in seconds. 

On 16/11/2022 at 20:20, Captain Turdseye said:

You live in Runcorn. You’ve got Sports Direct or the Asda. 

The fact you've swerved the opportunity to drum up the wonder of Shopping City is offensive to those who live in smelly Runcorn. 

ASDA's post-offer pricing. 

Went to fetch some biscuits before that were always on offer for £1. Offers now over and the biscuits are £2+. You can fuck off telling me this is all to do with the cost of living crisis - it's pure biscuitism and a blatant attack on a minority of loyal biscuiteers. 

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Breakfast and tea..

 

I'd eat that. Thought I saw parsley on the bottom one but it's just the plate. 

Going years without realising how easy it is to get a trade card and now being able to skip into trade-only places and pretend I'm a man who a, knows how to build shit and b, measures everything mentally in mm or foot only without a measuring tape. 

Other day realised that B&Q offer up to 15 cuts for free rather than the 5 for public plebs. Just been taking in random bits of wood and getting them cut into smaller bits for storage. Flashed by trade card to everyone and anyone just to show I'm a class above them. 

14 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

 

this is great thanks mate and much appreciated. We will definitely be going to the classes and anything else. We both live miles away from parents and siblings so will need to be self sufficient so meeting others in the same boat is very much needed.
 

im over the moon, now got to think of names. 

You'll find the classes will mostly be for her over time. She'll find other mums in the same boat and it'll keep her busy whilst you're back at work. 

Enjoy the journey mate, its a complete emotional rollercoaster. 

1 hour ago, JagSquared said:

Just had our 16 week scan today and we’re having a boy!

 

holy crap it’s hitting home now. no idea where to start, what we need but can’t wait to give it our all. 

Amazing news!

Honestly, you'll wing most of it, stress the shit out of one another, realise what sleep deprivation feels like and feel weird about the transition to fatherhood. But it's honestly boss. 

I'm at 18 months now and just some tips I wish someone told me:  

• Everyone will give you unsolicited advice (take what you want from it/ignore it because every baby is a fucking puzzle that only you will be able to work out. It's not a one-size fits all and everyone is an expert in their children, not yours)
• Take it in turns to get some kip - you'll be doing more of the share whilst mum's recovering but when she's able, tag-team the shit out of the little sleep thief. 
• Do all the mind-numbing and grim stuff early doors, change the nappies, sing songs and feel daft, the more you do this, the more you'll create a little bond (and it takes a fuck ton of work to get there so don't get pissed off when she wants mum more (or vice versa to the misses)). 
• If you can, attend some baby classes and just give yourself time to adjust to it all. I took all my annual leave after paternity leave and I don't regret a single thing - completely removed the fear that I'd drop her or panic when she'd non-stop screaming whilst we were out. 
• Calpol is the best thing in the fucking world. 
• https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-1st-Year-rev/dp/1847379745 - you can get this through z-lib for free as a PDF but it breaks down each step for you. Your baby won't fucking stick to plan like but worth knowing all the milestones. 

1 minute ago, littletedwest said:

Funny I started this thread when my dad was on his last legs. A month after this my mum found out she needed major surgery. Then the dog died. Couldn't make it up but the day before she died I said to her " never thought you'd outlive my dad when we got you as a pup " she dropped dead next day.

At one point my mum was in intensive care at one hospital  and my dad was in another one.

 

Tough times 

It's heartbreaking reading that mate and the strength you've had to push through all of that is incredible. Life can be a complete cunt at times. 

I'm glad you're still here mate. 

Oh fuck off. Only just seen this news and I had a shite tea of burnt tacos and fucking Quorn mince because we had fuck all in.

Giz another night Poland lads, feeling duck and pancakes, marks and sparks tiramisu and some mulled wine for the final meal. Aldi had some 'cola' cider that I wanted to have a bash at too. 

John Lewis one's out about the Care system. 

It was either going to be United or City. 

Beyond predictable.