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Sandman40

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  1. Boooooooooooooo!

     

    Jürgen Klopp has explained the role Hans Leitert fulfils with Liverpool.

     

    The manager was asked to clarify reports this week that the Austrian serves as a goalkeeping consultant for the club.

    “Giving advice for the scouting department, nothing else. It’s not that he makes any decisions, he can’t. That’s how it is,” replied Klopp at his pre-Southampton press conference.

    “But goalkeeping is a special position, so I think it makes sense that in the scouting department we have somebody who is more responsible for that.

    “But it’s not that he comes in and says, ‘I found it, this is our new No.1’.

    “We have a lot of goalkeepers at the club for different age groups, and that’s what his job is, first of all. The only person responsible for goalkeeper training in the first team is John Achterberg.

    “For head of scouting, we have other people. But he brings in all the information he can get, that’s all. We have people for Germany, we have people for Austria, we have people for each country. And we have people for goalkeeping in all these countries – and Hans is this guy.”

  2. Ecuador winning easily, if Peru can beat Brazil then Brazil are out. I await some dodgy refereeing to scupper Peru's chances though. 

    Close...just other way around!  At least Coutinho will be back to preseason training sooner

  3. Not sure if this hard-hitting article has been posted yet

     

     

    Everton fans rejoice at prospect of new manager to blame for being rubbish  

     
    Everton-fan-small.jpg

    Everton fans have described themselves as ‘being over the fucking moon’, as they look forward to being able to blame a new manager for mediocre performances next season.

    “I keep pinching myself in case it’s all just some wonderful dream,” sobbed crotchety blues fan Simon Williams, 58, wiping a sniffly nose with his Everton shirt.

    “We’ve been letting other teams with more money to spend on better players score too many goals, whilst our less expensive and not as talented players haven’t scored as many. And we all know what that means!

    “That manager Roberto Martinez is solely to blame for our utter mediocre-ness, and that absolutely everything that went wrong with our season was entirely his fault.

    “Apart from those meanie referee decisions, obviously.

    “But at last the rubbish craphead has gone and next year we’ll have a spanking new scapegoat to have a go at. Sorry, I mean manager.

    “I haven’t been this happy since heading to Wembley a few weeks ago after clever old Martinez got us closer to winning a real life actual trophy than we had been in years.

    “No, wait, hang on a sec. I mean since that useless bastard Martinez got us closer to winning a trophy…

    No wait… Shit… Er… Er… Oh fuck it. You know what I mean.”

    When asked who he thought should manage Everton next, Mr Williams smiled dreamily.

    “Someone brilliant obviously,” he said. “Someone totally out of our league who we’ll never be able to afford unless we sell all the players we have – well, those who don’t get confused about the right direction to kick the ball in.

    “Actually, that really wouldn’t be a winning strategy now I think about it.”

    “Wow,” Mr Williams said, his eyes lighting up, “Imagine how much misguided blame and abuse we can hurl at the newbie then!

    “It’ll be like Christmas every match day!”

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