Em City

Best goalkeeper I've ever seen.

Is Carragher legally blind? It's clearly handball, about three of them in fact.

Stay wide Trent ffs

Diaz has lost a noticeable amount of dynamism. Nunez has been braindead and Mo is invisible so far.

He's a bit slow and limited in his touch and dribbling, but his passing is surprisingly good and quite progressive.

I was delighted to hear him crown themselves champions. He's always been coy, albeit in his own blatantly insincere way. Between this and lashing out at Carragher, it shows he is feeling the pressure.

Say what you want about Nunez, but we are quite a dull side without him.

Thought Virgil was going to let Archer right through on goal like he did a few times last season.

Wow Macca

Apparently, Martial had it out with Tem Haag. Here is a lad who can't run, is always injured and is on £250,000 a week. He's been there nine years and his career highlight is still his goal against a shit Liverpool side, the one that nearly caused Tyler to orgasm to death. Why is he still there, one might ask? He's Joel Glazer's favourite player. That's the primary reason he is still there, it's a genuinely impressive level of malfunction. Rashford is getting piled on now as well. Loads are saying he's downed tools because of the new contract. That might very well be true, but I'd say he's endemic of why so many players fail there. He's a local lad who played a whole season with a stress fracture in his back and loads of his own fans gave him both barrels for the subsequent tanking in form, saying he was too focused on feeding kids to play well. He scored loads last season and suddenly was one of the best players in the world, better than Salah, etc. Now he's gone back to being shite and he's a greedy bastard. The biggest problem with that club is the "fans". They spent the 90s and first decade and a bit of the 2000s in one big sugar rush. Now the sweetie shop has been closed and they're going through withdrawal. There is no infrastructure for a long-term rebuild, and there is no patience for anything but flashy, short-termism.

It was the most dominant 1-0 you could imagine, they did nothing. Saudi F.C easily could have won by 4 or 5 on another day.

He bought loads of his ex Ajax players and took all the shite ones. Kudus and Gravenberch were bought for relatively low fees and look like superstars. Meanwhile, United spent 90 million euro on a slow, one-footed, non-scoring winger who's better at beating women than defenders. *slow clap*

United haven't won away to a top 8 side since October 2021. Three draws, nine losses.

We are in a good moment.

Bellingham scores a brilliant header to put Real 2-1 up. 15 goals in 16 games now.

Napoli score at the Bernabeau and Rodrygo equalises with a rocket about 10 seconds after the restart.

GALA!

MUTV time on TNT. Ferdinand sounds like he's tweaking.

Funny as the crying on TNT is, that is a disgraceful decision.

Bynoe-Gittens scores for Dortmund to put them 2-1 up in the San Siro with a quality finish. He's a 19 year old, former Man City winger from London. Seems familiar.

Milan v Dortmund is a brilliant game. Finished 1-1 at half time, the whole first half was non-stop.

He's very, very fast and works hard, but nowhere near good enough technically.

Just put on the popcorn and poured a glass of wine. Let the freakshow commence.

It was more of a mistake from us, if anything. Dom and Trent let Ake dance around them like traffic cones. Ali was poor on the shot as well, think he parries that around the post on a normal, non-shite day.