two from winston churchill...
george bernard shaw: "i'm enclosing two tickets for the first night of my new play, bring a friend.....if you have one"
churchill: "sorry, cannot possibly make the first night, will attend the second......if there is one"
lady astor: "winston, if you were my husband, i would poison your coffee"
churchill: "madam, if i were your husband.....i would drink it"