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Captain Turdseye

Season Ticket Holder
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Everything posted by Captain Turdseye

  1. So Lazio will line up next season with Lucas, Moreno and Luis Alberto in their starting XI. Have we asked them if they’re in the market for an attacking midfielder that’s fond of Cruyff turns or a good looking German goalie?
  2. Captain Turdseye

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    Thanks, man. Means a lot. Mrs Turdseye must have sensed something was wrong because she came home early and now I’m happily sitting in a puddle of Savlon. Praise Jebus for women’s intuition.
  3. Captain Turdseye

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    I’ve just had a horrendous one. My bum hole was itchy and now it’s bleeding due to over aggressive wiping. I need to shower and slather it with cream but I’m waiting for two parcels from Royal Mail and I know he’ll turn up the second I step in.
  4. Captain Turdseye

    The Snooker 2018/19 Season

    Ha. Nice one Stig. I completely forgot about the evening session. Was concentrating on my footy bet and fucked off to bed all pleased with myself after it won. Your final frame commentary was better than having highlights.
  5. Captain Turdseye

    Rate the last TV Show you watched

    Watching this now. Got partway into episode two before I realised I could change the audio to English.
  6. Captain Turdseye

    [NSFW] The All New Celebrity T*ts Out Thread

    Who’s the third person in the room with Richard and Judy? My money’s on John Leslie.
  7. Captain Turdseye

    Should the UK remain a member of the EU

    I posted in the TNF about buying a new TV. Might be able to loot one instead.
  8. Captain Turdseye

    Ideas for a short break please

    Get a lodge with a hot tub and a steam room, stock up on beer and drugs and forget everything else exists for a few days.
  9. Captain Turdseye

    Should Corbyn remain as Labour leader?

    Seems you know exactly what happened when there’s conflicting reports in the media.
  10. Captain Turdseye

    Should Corbyn remain as Labour leader?

    Were you there then, yeah?
  11. Captain Turdseye

    Who is your Florida Man

    That’s a great day to have a birthday. Florida Man loves the Flakka so he’s alright by me.
  12. Captain Turdseye

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    Wasn’t aware this was on. Nice one.
  13. Captain Turdseye

    GF Car Buying Advice Required

    Keele services are better for that kind of thing. Or so I’m told.
  14. Captain Turdseye

    GF Car Buying Advice Required

    I bought an 11 plate diesel Peugeot 207 a couple of months ago and I love it. Now I’m hoping you’re a know-nothing wanker. I had a Renault scenic years ago and it was absolutely fine right up until a Romanian lorry driver tried to crush me on the M6.
  15. Captain Turdseye

    Other Football - 2018/19 Season

    Is that the same bog-eyed cunt that scored against us for Belgrade?
  16. Captain Turdseye

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

  17. Captain Turdseye

    The IPTV Thread

    Buy one of these remotes... https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wireless-Handheld-Multi-media-Raspberry-Operating/dp/B06XNWFBR1 Probaby a bit cheaper on eBay but that brings it’s own risks for the sake of a couple of quid. That will work with your box. Then wipe all the apps off it and start again. It’s a piece of piss to install Kodi and a few add ons, as well as TeaTv that CD mentioned and other free apps that play movies/TV shows. There’s loads of walkthroughs on Google/YouTube and it shouldn’t take more than half an hour to have it set up with loads of different sources.
  18. Captain Turdseye

    The Twitter Way

    Still waiting for a link...
  19. Captain Turdseye

    Any interest in a new boxing prediction league?

    One round in, no sign of a league table and he’s already feeling the heat. Not as easy as it’s cracked up to be, eh lads?
  20. Captain Turdseye

    New Telebox

    I’ve been trying to tell people for years that I’m thick as fuck but nobody listens to me. Taking the living room telly upstairs would have meant moving all the bedroom furniture around as well and I was mentally preparing myself to do it.
  21. Captain Turdseye

    The McCanns...

    Akinwale Arobieke: Parts Unknown
  22. Captain Turdseye

    New Telebox

    Got one of those splitters for £6.99. Considerably cheaper than buying a new TV for £400. As for the Google Home thingamig, it seems that a Chromecast will make my telly do all the voice activated stuff. I had a Chromecast but gave it away ages ago because I had no use for it. What a twat.
  23. Captain Turdseye

    New Telebox

    Consider yourself repped.
  24. Captain Turdseye

    The McCanns...

    I doubt it. Most of the other stuff in that clip is spoken like fact when it’s actually conjecture or blatant bullshit. I’m glad I stuck it out to the end though, purely for this fella’s surname. That’s superb nameage.