ZonkoVille77

Mental

This cunt?

I've always felt that Sarah was a more apt name than Karen to describe unhinged mentalists. I've never met a mad Karen, but I've met loads of mental Sarah's.

Need to beat these orc cunts and their Darth Vader helmet-headed manager can suck on my stools. We're fuckin shite.

I never rinse it actually. I thought that just applied to Asian countries where the rice hasn't been through thorough cleaning process. Must give that a go. The way I do it works most of the time but just the odd time it's wrong. Its probably down to me not paying attention or something like that. I read something before about using a paper tea towel to help soak up the water. Ever tried that? Seems like overkill.

Salted water, bring to the boil. Boil for about 10 mins or so. Then lower down the heat and simmer until the water has been soaked up by the rice. 9/10 times it goes perfectly fine. But then there's times it hasn't cooked and I've to add more water, even though I use the same measure each time. Freaks me nut out

Making rice. The majority of times I make it perfectly. Then sometimes it just doesn't cook right despite me doing the exact same bloody thing each time. Frustrates the prostrate out of me.

Looks identical to the machine I use to express myself whilst looking at pics of Kelly Brook.

Poor aul cunt needs to be sitting on a porch somewhere, chewing tobacco and sipping his days away.

What kind of automated vibrator were you aiming to make from these "PC parts"?

Klopp forcing Nunez out.

Couldn't judge him on that performance. I'm not suggesting he will improve our midfield though. I think Endo, Macca and Jones together is the way forward. Dom and Trent in for when we play the less capable sides.

Absolutely shite.

He was good until he went to Sky. They must specify in his contract that he has to chat like a cheese-stained bellend.

I get that he's only coming back from injury but seriously? Indefensible.

We lost that before a ball was kicked. The line up stunk. Klopp has a few of these brainfarts from time to time. Then the attitude of our players ruined it even further. Anyhow, all is not lost. Just have to keep pushing. That City game is where we win or lose the title I reckon.

Woeful. Absolute tripe. That starting line up was always going to cause issues and then the smug, half-arsed performance from VVD and Trent just added the icing on the shit cake. Anyhow, I'm off for a large dump. Had a fuck load of drink last night watching David Gray live and this game is making me ill.

15 mins to save the title push. Seen nothing from the forward line at all. Midfield are not providing any sort of service. Jones has been anonymous. Elliot hasn't got into the game. Nunez getting no service. A draw from here would be utopia.

Virgil busy smelling himself again. Too precious to just clear it. Disgraceful.

Clowns. Fucking ridiculous.

Fuck sake.

Never a pen.

Good subs. Trent and Gravenberch: right pair of clowns today.

Yellow card my big hairy hole. Cheating cunt