chauncey

“You fucked up at the pub, when you’re fucking with me you look at the fucking ground, you look at a tree, you look at a bench, you look at any fucking inanimate object, you do not look at any other human being you slag, do you understand?”

Good times.

Anyone else been following this? Now, I enjoy a spot of controlling behaviour as much as the next man but bringing the "blacks and fucking chinks" into it was all rather unnecessary.

Long but well worth a read:

TV star Justin Lee Collins compiled a grubby dossier of his girlfriend’s sexual conquests as part of a terrifying campaign of domestic abuse, a court heard today.

 

The comic, 38, is said to have intimidated Anna Larke into giving him sordid blow-by-blow details of everyone she had slept with or been intimate with.

 

He also allegedly hit her, spat on her, forced her to sleep facing him and subjected her to vile verbal attacks.

 

Anna claims he even once threatened to kill her and then commit suicide.

 

In a taped police interview played to the jury on the first day of Collins’ harassment trial today, she said: “He wanted a full sexual history of me.

 

"He wanted all the details and wanted to write it all down in this Pukka Pad.

 

“He wanted to know every single person I had slept with or had an encounter with. He said it was for clarity so he could get to grips with my past.

 

“I felt absolutely horrible and disgusted. I was really scared. I thought I was going to lose him. He said, ‘If you don’t do it you will lose me’.

 

“He accused me of fancying other men. He had such a temper on him.

 

“He called me a dirty slut constantly – a dirty vile whore.”

 

The court heard much of the harassment was based on the sex dossier.

 

The comic apparently wrote in the pad “Anna’s Types” and listed a series of men including “men of colour, Mediterranean, older men, younger guys do it for you”.

 

Peter Shaw, prosecuting, said: “When Mr Collins was satisfied that Ms Larke had provided a sufficient amount of information he signified his satisfaction with the word ‘Done’.

 

“He would often verbally abuse her and mention details in the pad. Once, when the defendant lost his temper with Ms Larke, he slapped her in the face.

 

“He told her in effect that she must like it in a sexual way because she had allowed a previous boyfriend to do so.”

 

Shaggy-haired Collins first began going out with former PR worker Anna, 38, after ending his seven-year marriage to Karen, the mother of his two sons.

 

He moved from Bristol to London to live with her in January 2011 and she describes the beginning of their relationship as “really lovely” and said they were “absolutely in love”.

 

But as time went on Collins displayed a more sinister and possessive side, St Albans crown court heard.

 

He allegedly made her sleep facing him during their nine-month relationship but would wake and berate her if he found she had turned away.

 

Collins, who came to fame with Channel 4’s The Friday Night Project with Alan Carr, also ordered her to throw away DVDs starring male actors she found attractive.

 

She made seven recordings of him allegedly subjecting her to verbal abuse.

 

One of these – made after she looked at another man in a pub – was played during the trial. Collins could be heard saying: “You f***ed up at the pub, when you’re f***ing with me you look at the f***ing ground, you look at a tree, you look at a bench, you look at any f***ing inanimate object, you do not look at any other human being you slag, do you understand?”

 

Collins, who appeared in West End musical Rock Of Ages, pleads not guilty to harassment by causing fear of violence. He sat impassively in the dock while the evidence was read out to a jury of nine women and three men.

 

They were told he made Anna close her email, Facebook and Twitter accounts after reading her personal messages.

 

The court also heard evidence from Anna that Collins threatened to kill her and then take his own life.

 

Anna, a recovering alcoholic, said the TV star told her: “Tell anyone what I have done and I will kill you and kill myself. I don’t care, I am f***ing worthless.”

 

Asked if she thought Collins was capable of killing her, she replied: “Yes I do. I’m scared by doing this now he will come and kill me.

 

“He was so depressed he was thinking about throwing himself off Clifton Suspension Bridge.

 

“He’s a very depressed, angry man who has ridiculously low self-esteem for someone that comes across like he doesn’t.”

 

On a trip to Miami in March last year, Collins is said to have grabbed his partner’s hair and pulled her to the floor, pinning her down and spitting in her face. She screamed so loudly concerned hotel staff apparently came to see what all the noise was.

 

The following May, Collins returned home from filming abroad and was “angry” Ms Larke only managed to attend one of two Alcoholics Anonymous meetings that day, accusing her of infidelity.

 

Anna also claimed Bristol-born Collins used to make foul racist rants.

 

Describing one attack, she said: “He was using the most awful racist language. He started smacking me. He has a problem with people of colour.”

 

She was apparently forced to flee the flat screaming for help.

 

Anna also claims he accused her of regularly cheating on him and having a threesome. He was also heard on tape stating that she had unprotected sex on trains.

 

Anna, from Pirton, Herts, claims that Collins once threatened to “put her in hospital unless she shut up”.

 

He was also said to have assaulted her in June last year, throwing a satnav at her and pulling her hair when he arrived to collect her and she was not where he expected her to be.

 

He denies he ever assaulted Anna physically or harassed her.

 

Ms Larke tried to help him get anger management therapy and sent him a link to a domestic violence course, Mr Shaw said. Collins told detectives after his arrest he had never hit her “other than slapping her cheek to calm her when she’d been self-harming”.

 

But Anna told officers he would make her wear different clothes or change her hair if he did not like it.

 

When he assaulted her, his temper would “blow” and he “smacked” her in the face, she said.

 

Ms Larke also claimed Collins attacked her in public “but nobody did anything”.She told police: “He is a nasty b******. A nasty horrible man.

 

“I was on eggshells all the time. Everything I did or said was wrong and being picked to pieces.”

 

She told the court the TV star intentionally deprived her of sleep, telling her she had to stay awake as long as he was, otherwise she “ran the risk of him texting other women”.

 

Ms Larke admitted, under cross-examination by Collins’ barrister Sonia Woodley QC, she mentioned going to PR guru Max Clifford out of “bravado”.

 

The QC said: “You have considered Max Clifford haven’t you?” Ms Larke replied: “I very briefly considered going to Max Clifford but in my heart I knew it was right to go to court.”

 

The TV star, now living in Kew, South West London claims Anna was the possessive one in the relationship.

 

The trial continues and is expected to end next week.

Justin Lee Collins hit girlfriend, spat in her face and made her recount every sexual experience she had ever had, court hears - Mirror Online

Would.

Wait 16 is the limit? Wat a swizz!

If their feet touch the floor when they're taking a piss then you're good to go dennis.

Careful though, you don't wanna end up conkers deep in a long-legged 11 year old. Bad times, as Justin Lee Collins is probably saying right now.

Dave is right, some of you guys should be worried as the police migth turn up on your doors sometime soon.

You don't scare me, you big galoot.

Bloody hell,. Jake Thackray.... that guy was a GENIUS. Remember him from Granada Reports in the 70s? He looked and acted quite dumb, but he was a great guitarist and witty as hell. I'd forgotten all about him.

A couple of years back there was a fantastic BBC Four documentary about Jake made by - of all people - Victor Lewis Smith. Well worth checking out.

She's not even that nice. If I was going to throw my life away for a bit of underage sex then the Lolita would at least have a decent set of tits on her.

At my school a CDT teacher got sacked for being suggestive to a sixteen year old sixth form girl. He stayed behind to help with something in the workshop and said - and I quote - "If I wasn't your teacher, we'd be romping like rabbits...". She grassed him up. Dude was ex-RAF and looked like the Sherminator from American Pie. Thanks for listening.

Anyone know the best (and speediest) place get it? PM if necessary. kthxbai

Favourite Woolnough moments? I used to love how he'd struggle to recall even the most rudimentary football facts when round the Bastards' Breakfast Table until the gallery had to feed him the correct name/stat/day-of-week via his earpiece. The floundering fuck. Magnificent chin, mind (even better in Glorious HD) and the rightful heir to Jimmy Hill's concave profile. They even had to extend the show to fit it all in!

Was only aware of him through the Sunday Supplement and reports I've read today have described him as "larger than life" and "a huge character", which of course is obitspeak for "colossal cunt". Still, at least they're at peace now - Wooly and Fearless - down there in football journo heaven. Save a spec for Basco will you, lads.

RIP YNWA, no age, sad loss etc.

As tragic as it is I don't understand why it is a more important news story if a police officer is murdered rather than any other profession.

Police are harder to kill - think porcupine with a power complex.

Was it chin cancer?

I just checked five news websites (BBC, Guardian, Mail, Indy, Sky) and it's the top story on all of them. So still a big deal.

Yeah, this story is still being covered extensively by practically everyone, and rightly so. What a strange thread.

Just Melvin, Just Evil - Is one of the most fucked-up things I've ever seen. It's about child molester and suspected murderer Melvin Just and how he prayed on his own kids and step-kids through two different family's, denying it all. The whole thing is just incredible. If you want to watch something that leaves you thinking "Oh...My...God!", this is the one.

Fuck yeah. The matter-of-fact accounts of abuse from the family members were chilling.

Another depressing doc is Dreams of a Life - a woman's remains were found in her London flat three years after her (unexplained) death. The film attempts to trace how/why a person can die and nobody give a shit. Of all the documentaries I've been watching lately, this one disturbed me most.

Fair shout, but Paul Allen (Jared Leto) destroys Baleman in the wig stakes.

I was looking for something with direct downloads as most mobi torrent's I've come across have one or no seeders. If that one works I'd love an invite. Will DM you my email now.

 

IRC as in chat?

Yeah, you can use an IRC chat client to 'acquire' ebooks. Will post up a quick guide in a bit.

http://www.myanonamouse.net/

It's a private torrent tracker; PM me if you want an invite.

Pirateparty and warezbb are half-decent if you're not keen on torrenting. Are you familiar with IRC?

Like Fanchester says it can be done but is fiddly as fuck. What broadcast are you after?

It's pretty clear yer man was whacked by the Jews.

Every player I see as my own son.

So we can expect Samed Yesil and Michael Ngoo to start roasting slags in the Jury's, while Suso looks on doing voyeurism?

Excited.

Did you draw that anty?

This appears to be his 'coming out' thread.

They are not looking to sell any time soon.

 

This summer was just the start of a long job for them. Next summer will be very similar in my opinion. Out will go the likes of Carragher and Joe Cole, possibly even Gerrard, in will come two maybe three players young players with 'resale value'

 

Will Suarez stick around? He seems very committed so far, but I'd understand if he wants to move to a Champions League club next summer. Agger will surely go too, unless he signs a new contract shortly.

 

They will not build a new stadium unless they can find a huge sponsorship deal. They will not look to redevelop Anfield either just yet, It's certainly not a priority for them.

 

FSG will be here to see how FFP plays out, This is their great white hope. If City fail to comply, as it is looking more and more likely, then they will find themselves banned from Europe. Which could mean we will get back in, as long as we can get back above Spurs and Newcastle.

You keep on smoking the good shit, MegadriveMan.

The Raid

Subtitled Indonesian martial arts films couldn't be further from my thing but this came highly recommended as pure entertainment and certainly didn't disappoint. It's obviously violent, though never (comically) graphic.

8.5/10

With all this revenue Ayre has brought in we still couldn't afford a player yesterday-I suppose he got his tart a free Chevrolet.

Which one... :whistle:

Do we forget that we have a £20m trainee left back and £18m 6th choice midfielder at our club, as well as £6m a year winger who we can't dump out on a loan deal.

Quoted for truth lol.

There are people crying about us not signing Clint Dempsey when there are still some gilded turds to be flushed. If anything, the apparent inability (unwillingness?) to bring in a goalscorer should at least earn Rodgers some sympathy if we're languishing come January.

N.B. Use of "should" in the conditional.