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Season Ticket Holder
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Everything posted by Trumo

  1. Trumo

    Donald Trump

    But it's OK for him to spout (and sign executive orders based on) unsubstantiated bollocks.
  2. Trumo


    I remember seeing one where the guy made a trap by half-filling a bucket with water, and placing a rolling bar smeared with peanut butter across the top, and a couple of ramps either side. The mouse would crawl up the ramp and clamber onto the bar to get to the peanut butter. The bar rolled over, the mouse lost its grip and fell into the drink. This guy set it up in his barn and must have caught hundreds like this. You need to make sure the peanut butter isn't within easy reach of the edge of the bucket/ramp because you need to get the mouse to step onto the rolling bar.
  3. Trumo

    Adverts you hate.

    Maybe she doesn't want to be ploughed through her rusty gate or get sand in her vagina.
  4. Trumo

    TLW Deathpool 2020

    Well that's shit. I was hoping he would play Michael Cohen in a film about the Trump paying off a pornstar story. He had the face, he just needed a syrup.
  5. Trumo


    With a wang that he can't get up, and while coughing like he has TB.
  6. There is a mindset out there that genuinely believes voiding the current season will kill off the coronavirus, thus ending the pandemic and the lockdowns to get life back on track again. Everything will be absolutely fine for the new season simply because this season will cease to exist. People of this mindset are a drain on the world's resources.
  7. Big Games James will still monster the bleep tests.
  8. Trumo

    The world of a woman.

    At least someone will be carrying a sackful.
  9. More lockdown related news: Bored of Netflix, Xbox and Instagram, Norwich midfielder Noel Cantwell has found a novel way to pass the time while stuck at home. No it doesn't involve reading books. He started last Friday by cooking a packet of Batchelor's Super Noodles, and then sticking them back together end-to-end to form one giant super noodle before eating it. He finally started eating it today, and he reckons he'll be done by Wednesday.
  10. Trumo


    Just waiting for Laura Kuennsberg's probing questions about all these statements. Laura? Laura?
  11. Trumo

    The world of a woman.

    Gotta be careful when you're at one of those. You could really ruin a good cake.
  12. Phil Jones has discovered something new too during this lockdown. Crayons don't taste like they used to.
  13. West Ham's Declan Rice has had to make 3 trips per week to his local Tesco during this lockdown, and it has enlightened him on a few things. One of which is that apples grow on trees and you can buy them at the supermarket all year round. You don't have to bob for them at Halloween.
  14. It's not like the Eredivisie where 2 teams were tied at the top when the lockdown began. We are miles out in front, we have beaten EVERY other team, more than 3/4 of the season has been played, and the current situation is such that we could clinch the title for certain only one game into any restart (if win win our next game and City lose theirs, they cannot catch us at all despite still having a game in hand). I think FIFA should be leading on this matter rather than taking a back seat to the continental federations and national FAs. They should say definitely that this existing season MUST be completed before any new one starts. Players who are going to be out of contract at the end of June automatically get contract extensions up until the culmination of their team's season. Clubs taking the piss to get games called off must be penalised for it too. A lot of talk about voiding and starting afresh is tribal/trolling bollocks, but a key point often missed is that if this season is written off, will the next season have to be voided too if/when there is another outbreak and lockdown? It's easier to get this season done and dusted and then plan for a compromised season next year. Make it clear that if a season has been either 2/3 or 3/4 completed before a shutdown, then the season can be called on current standings. Use points-per-game to allocate for the remaining games, maybe not based on the season thus far but on, say, the last 5 or 10 games, as a better indicator of form fluctuations. If a season gets underway and has to be curtailed before reaching the 2/3 point because of a situation like this, then a better argument can be made for voiding it. If a season restarts and team tries to get a game called off, then they automatically forfeit the points and their opponents are awarded a 3-0 win and 3 points. The above is off-the-cuff writing and I need more time to fine tune the details.
  15. Trumo

    Summer Shorts

    This is the key bit I think. Just wear a set of boxers, no-one will know. They'll look like regular knee-length shorts to the rest of us. If your legs are so short that you could audition to be an oompah loompah, then they'll look like 3/4 shorts to the rest of us. Either way, don't go wasting 80 notes on a pair of shorts from that site. That sort of folly is reserved for tits who buy "clothing essentials" like the ones listed in the back of FHM.
  16. Trumo

    Geordie Arabia

    Didn't he sell up to the one Arab sheikh without a pot to piss in?
  17. Trumo

    Boris Johnson

    Call the little bastard Boaty McBoatface otherwise it's a waste of a good name.
  18. Trumo

    Happy Birthday Special K

    Providing breakfast cereal for birds since 1977. Have a good one mate!
  19. Imagine my surprise when I see this thread bumped and it's nothing to do with Red Phoenix.
  20. Trumo

    Trivia question

    Paul Dickov. Played for Arsenal, Leicester, Blackburn and Man City in the top flight.
  21. He looks like someone smashed Noel Gallagher's face against a plate glass window.