Paulie Dangerously

Know how I know you're gay? Because you have a rainbow bumper sticker with "i love mens balls" on it

fuckin' rabbits too

My Xbox, hairy housemate and porno collection. I am to be buried with my 5800. It's like my child

On friday I went to a wedding reception. The happy couple were married in Mexico, I shook hands with and kissed several guests. I think I'm doomed

Walkin in a Shearer wonderBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It gave me a semi Boo, marmite hater

First time I had it was melted on a steak and mushroom ciabatta at my mates, it was fucking epic

Tesco, in the "continental cheese" section. Hidden away in the corner

The whole Geordie "would rather lose 5-4 then win 1-0" is bollocks. Every Geordie I know doesn't give a fuck how pretty it is as long as they just win games, stop being a laughing stock and maybe one day win a trophy

I'm eating some, and it's a fucking beast

Uh oh, it's Captain Trips!

I heard on the grapevine that over 1000 people applied for the positions so I'm assuming it's gonna take a whilst to whittle down

I have been both the rimmer and the rimmee in the past. I have rimmed 3 women, all whilst very drunk and in the middle of a "lets be as filthy as possible" style sex session. I didn't mind it as they had clean arseholes. I was the recipient once when I pulled some whale of a girl I was banging for a while then stopped seeing, in the Krazyhouse. After 5 hours of sweaty dancing she took me back to her flat in New Brighton and during our shag rimmed me without even asking me to splash a bit of water on it first. Have to say it was pleasurable but I couldn't help losing what little respect I had for her in that moment

Probably someone like Buster Keaton from the silent film era. Anyone who's watched "The General" where he's hanging off locomotives and leaping from carraige to carraige without the aide of any special effect or safety rig proves he's the hardest person known to man

You're a class act melons!

Yeah i fisted a fat lass once, she loved it.

I've just learnt a lot about mushrooms

Pierre Bistro (French and good) at the back of the Welkin Wethies near matthew street, theres a Thai place on North John street called Sabai (sp) as well. Both do early bird menus if you are there before 5 or 6 I think

Similar to the loud bitch on National express. I recently got a train from Droitwich to Birmingham and happened to be on the train with Dad of the Year 2008 who insisted on reading exceptionally loudly to his son from one of those retard train books for children "And the train said "wooo wooo" and the conductor said "I wish there was more parental talkings to on trains" I'm all for reading to children, my parents read to me a lot...when I was in the house or in bed. Not on a crowded commuter train

Fuckers!

I've had my Inspiron 6400 or 2 years now and had no problems with it (apart from it becoming more obsolete by the day, but its only for internet and FM anyway) I got a pop up message yesterday claiming my battery was nearing the end of its usable life and I should probably spend £117 on a new one from the Dell website. I hadn't noticed any issues with the battery life but all of a sudden it's draining in about 2 hours as oppose to 6-8 which it normally did. Is this all a conspiricy from Dell and they're making my battery break? Are they just breaking my balls? Is it actually on it's way to being goosed and they're being helpful and warning me? Is there an alternative to buying the dell official battery? When I return from work in 8 hours time I hope someone with more know-how can enlighten me

Pizza flyers through my door every fucking day

My mate from county road went to see one who was a scouser living in Manchester, paid about £50 for it and it was recorded on audio tape for her. She came back amazed at the insight he had shown and insisted I listened to it. It was such bollocks, proper generic stuff. He literally at one point said: "In your family, there was a lot of infighting between the reds and the blues because there were both on your family weren't there?" Yeah, hers and 99% of other Families in the merseyside area. Now she has thought about it she admits it's bollocks but for a time she was adament he had seen the future

If he was going to get sent off he should've kicked the cheating cunt harder