torahboy

I have a fish that just won't eat veg'.

Cy Tucker and The Friars at Coopers just shades it ahead of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at Old Trafford (cricket ground).

It seems you can't avoid a cunt whenever you watch football on any channnel. Keys and Gray on Sky, McManamanamanamanaman and Tim Shitwit on Setanta, Lawrenson and Hansen on BBC and Robbie 'won fuck all and lied about my nationality to get a fucking cap with Jamaica' Earle on ITV. Throw in absolutely ulcerous pig's testicles like Jon Champion, snaggle toothed Craig Burlesque, culture rat Pat Nevin and Joe 'I robbed this head from a Rio carnival costume' Royle, Gary 'Speedo' Speed and commode scrapings like Redknapp, Ferdinand and David 'how much for a wank (pronounced 'wornk') sweetheart' Pleate and life is un-fucking-bearable!!! Sorry about that. I'll feel better in a moment.

How dare you talk about Barry Manilow's muse in such a disrespectful manner? And aren't you the SammyAftershave who advertised certain 'favours' for a couple of tickets for 'Mamma Mia' at the Leicester Square Odeon? My word, sir, your hypocrisy knows no bounds. As my religiously devout but insane great, great Uncle Tex used to say - "It is easier for a rich camel to get into Heaven than it is for a man with a needle in his eye". Make of that what you will, but no more maligning the true Queen of England. She knows where you live!!

The Bitters tend to congregate in The Crown for their 'away' games. The Standard is predominantly, but not exclusively, patronised by Liverpool fans. It is pretty sad that the situation has got to such a fucked up state that a guy can't celebrate his team scoring but................. Another guy gets stabbed in West Derby village after yesterday's game. The 'friendly' derby we know never really existed, but the anger, the bile and the violence is rapidly turning these games into events to swerve.

Morpheus Pillows. Why don't you get your head down................on a Morpheus Pillow?! I'll get me coat.

After all the shit these 'people' give our players I found that they are terribly thin-skinned when you make an observation about one of their squad. I suggested to my Blueshite friend that if Lescott possessed a normally shaped head then the touch he got for their goal would have sent the ball over the bar. He was horrified. He said, "I'll bet that you're the sort of fellah that takes the piss out of handicapped people". I just looked at him and the other Bitters and said "I've been doing that for years". Cue more outrage. There's no educating a pork pie.

He would crawl over broken glass to get the Liverpool job. And now that he's complimenting Liverpool supporters I get the distinct impression that he is nurturing goodwill as he canvasses for Rafa's job. When he states that he was "surprised" that we hadn't won the league under Rafa I understand this to be a criticism of our manager and not an acknowledgement of how good his team was. Slimey twat!

Really?

No question that there are many Americans like O'Reilly but there are an equal number of Americans who have the opposite viewpoint. Also there would be millions more who make up the middle ground, the 'floating voter'. These are the voters that both parties attempt to attract. No other broadacaster supports one political line like Fox. Therefore O'Reilly, backed by massive resources, is more influential in moulding the opinion of the undecided American voter than any other broadcast journalist. He's still a cunt, though.

McCuntzie is in the same bracket as Cockernee jism drips like Littlejohn and John Gaunt: 1930s Tory attitudes presented as a modern day 'everyman' opinion. Similarly moronic figures were satirized back in the 60s by Johnny Speight's Alf Garnett - but McKenzie and the other goons just didn't get the joke and actually thought Alf Garnett had a philosophy worth adopting. They're just twats! O'Reilly is a twat also but, unlike the British twats, he is not a peripheral media presence. Fox use him as a battering ram for Murdoch's and the New American Century's policies. He is the epitome of Fox news media's agenda and character - aggressive and angry with the weak liberals who undermine the efforts of the right to keep America clean. free and the protectors of the democratic world. Utter bullshit and as ridiculous as McKenzie et al, but done so regularly and with such force over recent years that you could say that O'Reilly was responsible for keeping George W in power for the last eight years. Cunts like O'Reilly get their jobs in America because they are good salesmen. Ok, they sell shite, yet people buy it. But Littlejohn, McKenzie and Gaunt??!! Would you buy a used political ideology off those guys?

Got the series from Sammy Afteshave a while back. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Doesn't gloss over or ignore the shit things that are done in conflict by some shitty people. And the final scene, with 'When The Man Comes Around' by Johnny Cash on the soundtrack, gives some idea of what the soldiers think of their role. Well worth the time.

Only for heresy.

Lucy - a dyke? My faith in God has gone forever! Ok, I know she swings a mean wood, likes arm wrestling, drinks Tetley's Smoothflow bitter and has a tatoo that reads 'Muvvermuffer'. But, damn it all to hell, there are things we'd rather not know. Next you'll be telling us that weathertwat Fred is a swallower of mutton daggers. Granada TV is neither Sodom nor Gomorrah, it is a provider of local news and gentle, fluffy stories about dying children and Lake District pork butchers. They'd never let a lesbian read the news.......NEVER!!

Tell her she could do with using a strong deoderant and should drop about five dress sizes. Waterworks guaranteed! Unless she's particularly insensitive, in which case just give her a fierce buggering and rob her credit cards. If that fails, well, just give her the CD

Armin Meiwes should be released to appear in this show.

I for one will not miss the illiterate cunt. I live near Melwood and my dole supported lie ins have been disrupted by this waste of oxygen's habit of gunning his fucking car's engine as he goes by. I noticed that his plate was P33NNT. No doubt he bought the plate convinced this was the correct spelling of his name. I hope he stays at Portsmouth with his English manager and goes from strength to strength - like his old man did when he went from ganja to crack. Fuck him!

A Bluenose 'mate' just phoned me. After we both agreed how badly we'd played and how a half-decent side would've twatted us tonight he said "Well I'm happy - we got a point and we fucked you up!". For an encapsulation of Evertonian philosophy it was spot on: no great ambition for their own team's success, merely a consuming desire to see Liverpool fail. Sad, small-minded, ignorant and poisoned with a bitterness brought on more by our potential to win trophies than by their consistent failure to even get in the frame, our Blue bretheren are a soulless tribe who have set themselves up very nicely for the cup game. Get tonight's inquest over with and prepare for the weekend. But let us be civil, reserved and non-triumphal about any victory. Remember - We are better people than they. So, should we knock them out of the cup........................ ................................JUST SMILE!

I love watching Barcelona. Messi is second best footballer in the world - behind Ronaldcunto??!! Unbelievable! I got the feeling at the half time whistle that I used to get when our 1988 team were taking some team apart and the break came. It was all so good to watch that you hated the flow being stopped. I've got nothing against Deportivo but I just hope that Barca come out and continue to keep looking for goals. Mind you, I think we'd fuck them if we drew them in the Champions League. Then they'd become just a team of fucking old poseurs!

He looks like one of those weird Albanian pikey types that you see hanging around cheap clothes shops, chatting to young schoolie shoppers and just generally being foreign.

To all the 'realists' and harbingers of doom - fuck off, you bunch of chicken hearted twats! Here's where the fight for the title starts. Get behind the lads and believe that we will win every game. Be REAL Liverpudlians and give it all you've got - starting with Monday against the sophisticates from across the park.

The attack on the UN school by the IDF was first justified as 'Hamas using it as a launch base' for Quassam rockets. They later amended this to rockets being launched from 'within the school compound', later still this becoming 'from within the near vicinity of the school'. Can we believe that the IDF hold the moral high ground when they are as indiscriminate as Hamas when it comes to killing 'innocent' people? Far from doing 'everything in their power to minimize civilan casualties on both sides' it would seem that they wish to inflict as much terror and death on the Palestinian population as they possibly can while lying to the rest of the world about their reason for doing so. The IDF are as indiscriminate as Hamas in selecting targets - the big difference being that they can cause more damage and more deaths. There is no moral distinction.

The best way for Dershowitz and all other like minded Zionists to avoid playing into the 'dirty hands' of Hamas and assist their 'dead baby' strategy is to ask the IDF to stop killing Palestinian children. No babies die, no dead babies to display. Surely a sharp lawyer such as Dershowitz can work that one out.

Absolutley correct! When Friends of Israel like Gerald Kaufman state that the attacks on Palestine are straying dangerously close to the terror that was visited on Jews by the Nazis we can only conclude that Zionism is becoming its own worst enemy.

That fat, frumpy piece is looking at her like she'd eat through her arse until she hit daylight through her piss flaps. Mind you, so would I.