melons

Count yourself lucky its only a few days, Mr Melons has now given up hope of it ever ending and requested over time. For nights. Leaves at 6pm, doesn't get back until after I've left for work at 9am.

I love where I live, its just the most impractical house in a location almost as practical as the outer Hebrides when it comes to getting a job local to home on a decent wage.

http://www.gumtree.com/search?q=v+festival&tq=%7B%22i%22%3A%22v+festival%22%2C%22s%22%3A%22v+festival%22%2C%22p%22%3A2%2C%22t%22%3A14%7D&search_category=tickets&search_location=Cheshire&distance=100 If that link doesn't work, go to gumtree and do a search. They tend to get cheaper the closer to the date. I almost gave mine away for Bestival last year.

I live in Wales, in the mountains. There are nothing but farms with sheep and cows for miles around. I voted Plaid. I'm a raging sheep racist and a nationalist. I reckon that trumps Tory. Think they can come over to my land, into my garden and eat my roses, bloody white bastards, and the black one, there's a black on in there too. Though she's never been in my garden... as far as I know. I hate sheep.

She was 15, mate. It's really odd. I've known one of my other daughters mates to pass away through physical health issues, it seemed so much easier to get your head around. I never expected this, I knew she was poorly, I knew she'd been admitted since the end of feb, I knew things were intense, I always thought the medical profession and her would win the battle in the end.

I've said that to myself all week.Well, pretty much. Sorry, it's that time of night, house is now spotless, kitchen bleached to the point I'm not sure it was a wise move on the granite and I still can't settle. World of woman thread continues to raise a much needed smile though!

My friends young daughter was cremated today, it was family only for the service, so a few of us went to the bridge to say our goodbyes before going to the family home. I always knew it was a high bridge, it connects the mainland to the Island. Today I actually took the time to look over the side. There is something about people that have made that step that puts me in some kind of awe of how brave they are (were) I grew up hearing the mantra of suicide being a cowards way out, selfish ect, and having experienced poor mental health myself, I know it's anything but that. Today, seeing those steps she took, knowing the pain she must have been in to feel that was her only escape was to climb over the rails and fall. My heart aches. The ifs, buts, should've, could've's are coming thick and fast, I loved this kid, and I know I'd have continued to love the adult she would have become. Depression should never be allowed to reach that point, why is it our society still keeps it as a taboo subject, why is it we're still expected to never truly say how we feel, I dare say many of you who have been to seek professional help even played it down to the gp. Why? Why do we do that? Why is it we can't say, I feel like crap and I honestly don't know how I can go on another day? Surely if we can't do it as adults, we would expect our younger population to say it? It sucks.

Glad you had a good day. Please don't let it put you off going to see the doctors though, it's a long road, but it does get easier. x

You know what, I'm not biting with the 6 paragraphs I'd just wrote out, this is my bit and my view point from a fair few years experience. I believe you're wrong on this when it comes to someone so poorly they're suicidal, I think you're looking at it from engaging with issues related to mild depression. When you reach that point of pain and despair that you're having suicidal thoughts, I'd dread to see how telling someone to go away and address psychological and lifestyle issues works out.

Many do, many say it's just hiding the issue, covering it up.

Meds have a place, for some to say otherwise is just ignorant. Yes, doctors are often seen as too happy to prescribe, but to be fair with the limited mental health services available, what choice do they have? On the most part, people only turn to the doctors when they have run out of coping mechanisms, they're at a crisis point and there is no time to wait for a CBT/Psychotherapy or indeed any other of the therapies available to kick in, the practitioner then has 10 minutes to decide if this person is at risk of harming themselves or others. The person thats poorly is then sent away in the hope that they've got the right meds and they'll see their mood stabilise over the next 2-6 weeks. Them addressing their lifestyle and psychological issues isn't really going to happen whilst they're struggling to get out of bed in the mean time, is it? Meds are so much more than a mask, once you get the right one, they actually hold things together while hopefully with other support you start to heal. Fab thread thats well worth a read. Zig totally rules it, and is much more coherent then I could ever dream to be. (Just ignore noos) http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/100444-depression/

Thanks Cath, I've no idea either, I keep swinging from floods of tears to wanting to scream to wanting to be sick to raging anger st the system then back to tears again. x Sorry lovely, they're not memories, I wish they were. She passed away Thursday evening after being ill for almost 4 years. 15 and having spent almost a third of your life with poor mental health. I'm off loading, sorry. x In regards to the alcohol comment, I know where some of you are coming from, however what I suggested was to not in anyway use it as a crutch, or to get bladdered. Alcohol has sedative properties, sleep deprivation as a result of anxiety exacerbates the anxiety(as does alcohol in the long term and develops depressive tendencies as I mentioned in my post), I suppose its a judgement call for some, knowing that you've got 2 days before you're able to see a GP, but not sleeping for those days can be detrimental. Things don't change after a nights sleep, however after having sleep you're more able to process things. Long term, yes it is a messy thing to get into, however I maintain as a one off until someone is able to get to the GP it is far better than the alternatives.

Can you access youtube? Can you pop on a clip and follow the relaxation techniques? It sounds lame, but they do work if you've got a little head space available.

If it's the anxiety, consider having a large drink, it slows down how fast your brain is processing shit, allows you to sort of rest if that makes sense? Just remember that regular use isn't wise as alcohol is also depressive. As a one off it should be alright though. Good luck, and speak to someone. x

Where do you start? How do you even begin to type out the pain of losing someone who had barely started life and it ended with years of such sadness, that sounds so selfish. My heart is breaking for my friend, and hurting so badly for the pain of a young teenage girl who felt that it was the only way to ease her pain. Fucking bastard twatting shitty cuntting crumbling system. While I'm at it fuck natural beauty, that cunting bridge needs something there to make it impossible to jump from.

Sorry, I should have said other than main stream media, blogs mainly. I've been avoiding social media allot lately, its better for my health, temper and blood pressure.

Bring over the refugees, place them with the poor on a 'camp' site in Kent and I'm sure she'll feel fulfilled! Thats what I don't seem to see. Once they'd got over the shock of an alternative, yes the media are still attacking (Guardian seem to have backed down a bit) but the other routes seem to be quite positive. I genuinely think he can win it, that said, I thought we'd be heading for another coalition back in May.

How well is Corbyn actually doing? I like many of you have signed up to the labour party to have a vote, not because I support new labour, I support what labour was and what Corbyn wants to make it again. My feeds are very left wing and I'm not sure I'm actually getting a true reflection of what is actually happening with the Leadership campaign, to me it feels like Cooper, Kendle and Burnham have barely uttered a word, yet JC seems to be everywhere, are they actually having a campaign or just sat in the knowledge they'll walk it? If it is one member one vote, then surely the other candidates promoters must be out there somewhere?

Stop, just stop and breathe. You're allowed to feel like shite, you're allowed to hate whats happened, you're allowed to be angry to want to curl into a ball and cry. Don't belittle your emotions or feelings, or your response to them, they are just as valid as wanting to scream when you stub your toe on a chair. People are right, talking helps. It doesn't have to be about anything in particular, or the collective issues, start at the surface and slowly as time goes on, you'll dig deeper. Whilst you say you've been taking AD's for almost a decade, has there ever been any therapy involved? Have your meds ever been reviewed? They do work, they just work differently in different people, and each and every response is individual. How are you sleeping? I could go on, but I'll leave it as Cath says, there are loads of us on here who have been where you are, and are always happy to converse via PM or a reply to a message on here. Take it slowly, and lightly, don't go into a full on in-depth session on treatments, meds ect (quite the opposite to what I've done above). Also, don't bring it up in a public place. he'll need to be fully sure that should he choose too, whatever he divulges is private. If he's only got your mobile, ensure he has your land line, don't make out you were sleeping if you have that 2 am call from him needing to chat. It takes allot to trust someone, even if you've been best mates for years, revealing to someone that you're struggling is bloody hard going. I don't know how close you are, but maybe ensuring more contact. It doesn't always have to be round the pub. Cinema? Museums? a DIY workshop? I've no idea on mens things other than a sporting event, sorry. When I've supported friends its mainly been food related. Lunch, tea, beach with a picnic...

See that nice clear floor you've got there Paulie G? It's the clearest it'll ever be, ever ever again. x

I had my two youngest have this at the same time, and I was on my own. I spent 2 weeks attempting to sleep upright on the sofa. They lived on frozen frubes and lolly ices, their mouths were an absolute mess. The ice also cooled down the blisters and got them through a few extra drinks. Occasionally when I could i'd also coat something in dentenox to numb the mouth to get fluids down them too.

Haha! Before I learnt to change the code I used to just unplug the router and take it out with me and the younger two. I couldn't be doing with being in the same house as them when they had a normal strop, a strop without wifi was 10 times worse. When I did learn to change the router password I just used to change one or two of the letters or swap numbers, something I could (and she could if she'd bothered to try) figure out quite rapidly if needed. I also apply this to top ups for their mobiles. They don't get any if their room is a pit or any other room for that matter. I'm a working mum, not a skivvy. Doesn't she think she'll want any in the future and is there a big age gap between you both? The perk of such an age gap between J and any future sibling is a massive bonus, you've a ready made sitter right there. I was single raising my lot for longer than I was with their dad I suppose, yeah I was restricted in some cases, but I did become more selfish, and they learnt to adapt to me. If I wanted to go somewhere, they went whether they liked it or not. Having a second is a world away from your first. The first rules you, you rule the second. Well, thats how it was for me. Do it, your boy is gorgeous, you'd be cruel to the world to deny it another beauty.

Thanks Cath, I'm made up that we've at least got some grass for the summer holidays. The bottom garden and the front one can just bugger off for a few years till I recover. This one has been bloody hard work! x

Crikey, my conservative estimate was almost half what it was! Grief. Women and sizes' eh? I'll be joining Mrs PD at this rate!

Ha, thats mine. He's got his own shed down the bottom garden. I'm putting an electric fence around the perimeter to keep the kids away too!