TheDrowningMan

Picture the scene at the presser before England's first Euro '16 qualifier: "Well, I think we should remember that we were the only team to avoid defeat against Costa Rica in the World Cup group stage".

To be honest, I wouldn't have gone near Zidane given that he was a bit of a head case with more red cards than Roy Keane. Tim Sherwood, on the other hand...

I love hearing from people who say "he'd be one of the greatest if it weren't for..." ignoring how many legends had a screw loose. I mean, I bet a lot of these tools think that Zidane's only transgression was the World Cup headbutt.

Mills now calling for a ban "across all levels of football".

As unseemly as his antics are, why does resting your head / teeth on an opponent make you more of a nutcase than players who spend much of their careers attempting to nobble other players with ridiculous two-footed tackles?

Twitter is awash with people who lament the fact that Roy Keane isn't around to "Haaland tackle" Suarez. Irony. What is it?

Redcafe is up in arms. Forget Keane, Cantona and other Mancunian paragons of virtue, they are of the belief that Liverpool FC should sack Suarez if it has any self-respect. I wonder why they think that?

Danny Mills has gotten the ball rolling: "From what I have seen that is a bite from Luis Suarez. If it is that has to be the longest ban on the planet."

Could FIFA impose a worldwide ban? I'm sure plenty in the press will be calling for it.

A good £20m sliced off of his market value, then. On the other hand, if he keeps behaving in such a manner, perhaps no one will want to pay up the release clause.

One of the perks of being a host. Who could forget South Korea in 2002 or England at Euro '96?

Martinez has been banned from the World Cup after letting someone else watch the Netherlands train using his credentials.

Shoulders of steel.

Brilliantly camp though.

How about Sanchez arrives on an agreement that Suarez heads to Barca the following summer? A stretch, of course, but I'd love just that one CL campaign with Suarez in the side.

I just hope people don't end up with unrealistic expectations if he goes. A Europa League spot would be an excellent achievement after the loss of such a player.

Hahahaha, https://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/the-rio-report/labour-mp-calls-suarez-racist-violent-cheat-194851839.html

A player who wants to leave anyway might use that as justification. Otherwise, no. We shall see.

Thinking of Owen as he just about summoned the strength to write that tweet brings to mind this Smiths song: http://youtu.be/JKcLQ4YOf-U

Arguably the the highlight of the World Cup thus far: Going to bed. Can't take the pain any longer. — michael owen (@themichaelowen) June 19, 2014

Suddenly the England team punching its weight under dastardly foreign managers won't seem so bad to a lot of people.

Spellbinding. Because the incompetence would not be of the natural world.

So why give him a new contract if he can fuck off for next to nothing little more than six months later? Or if he wants the clause, make it come into effect after, say, 18 months / two years?

The thing that would confuse me is if the old contract didn't have a legally enforceable release clause, why the fuck would we insert one mid-way through his best ever season? For such a paltry price, too? It doesn't ring true because the level of incompetence - nay, gross negligence - would be positively spellbinding.

As much as I fear we'll lose him, keeping Suarez can be a catalyst for other top signings - we have a much better chance of snaring someone like Sanchez if he's coming to play with Suarez. On the other hand, if he goes, it probably looks a safer bet for such players to go to Arsenal or even the Mancs now that they have a competent manager again.