Harry Squatter

Seen some scall on his mobile before with a pair of shants on and sandals, hands down keks and the "Ladometer" was off the chart.

BUMP The Boundary on Pilch Lane in Dovecot has been razed to the ground after they discovered a Heroin factory above it, the Bow and Arrow in Dovecot is still being "redeveloped" and has been for 2 years. The Red Lion in Prescot is fucking awful and everyone in there wears Adidas equipment gear like it is 1991. Anyone been into any new rough pubs recently?

I think Parry just wanted to use that as an excuse to do fuck all, should just get a load of illegal workers in and pay them $2 a day like they did in Dubai and make them kip on the scaffolding after a 20 hour shift.

I came after £4.87

Seen some bird at a bus stop in Kensington before with white hot pants on and a black top like she was hanging round on Ipanema beach, it was still freezing.

My sister in law is a gobby twat but deep down she can't do a thing, she went with my wife to Las Vegas and she asked her to go down to starbucks in the hotel lobby, you'd think that she was asking her to do Martin Sheen's mission in Apocalypse Now the way she carried on. She needed talking through it for 10 minutes before agreeing to go down and order it. She got to the till and managed the amazing feat of ordering 3 Latte's but then had a panic and legged it back to the room saying "they asked me for my name and everything, what the fuck did they need to ask me that for?" - My wife said "So they put it in pen on your cup and it doesn't get mixed up with any other order". She then didnt go out for 2 nights because she "didn't feel confident in a foreign country" She also had a ten minute conversation with her mother about why Bianca in Eastenders is skint.

The Centenary stand is crap, especially the lower tier, if you are taller than 5ft your knees get pressed up against the seat in front and you get DVT.

Thank god that the Arabs who own City bought them instead of the Shite, them splashing money around and trying to buy Kaka would have brought so many of them out of the woodwork it would have been like a scene from Dawn of the Dead. They'd fuckin love lording it over us and outbidding us for any player. All their irritating "celebrity" fans would suddenly pipe up like Derek Hatton, Amanda Holden, Liz McLarnon and Freddie Starr. They'd still be obsessed with us though even if they bought 15 players for £20M each, they'd all be writing into the Echo letters page saying how they would be the top club in the city and that they should by rights have the Stanley Park site because they are the only club in the city with money to build it. Prentice would say his "siesmic shift" piece was prophetic. Big Gay Bill would be in the media comparing their latest signing to some queg who played for them in the early 60's who he watched from the boys pen and telling Rooney that he must regret going to the Mancs as his "first love" will overtake them. Gollum would get sacked after a season buying shite and playing one up front at home.

How much would be the difference in cost between building a new stadium and redeveloping? Been quoted about £350M for the new place but then there would be the possibility of namimg rights that could knock £100M off that figure say over ten years, no one would realistically want to sponsor a redeveloped Anfield so could redevelopment save that much money as it could cost £200M if you factor in lost revenue from stands being out of use.

Pellegrini was interviewed by Purslow at Heathrow Airport last July but he wasn't considered good enough so we got Hodgson instead. Can't believe Konchesky cost us about £5 million, its ok moaning that you've got virtually nothing to spend but when you do get it you can't still use that excuse and waste it on shite. Maybe Woy will take a few of our mongs if West Brom stay up.

The Echo is completely obsessed with stories of gangsters, lids who terrorise communities and this week - urging everyone in Liverpool to become a plastic paddy.

Decent game on Wednesday, was even for a while but our team won comfortably as we took our chances better and moved the ball about quicker. I'm out for the next 2 weeks but if you are short of numbers my mate said he can play.

What has happened to Jorge Fucile the Uruguayan - everyone was raving about him after the World Cup but he has not had a mention since then, has he had a shit season for Porto?

BUMP Just had a look at Wednesdays Echo and had a look at her column. This week she likes going shopping at Cricket for new outfits and doing lunch with her girly mates. This week she is hating the Japanese Earthquake because "It's so sad". Any other week she would hate Wagner not getting voted off X Factor.

My mate is playing and I think Woo said we have 16 Can we get the teams picked beforehand so we get more sphere action.

My mate said he'd play and try to get Omar to play as well

To be fair there hasn’t been any aggro or kick offs since Andy stopped playing and I can’t remember anyone fouling or tripping up anyone on purpose since I’ve started playing, our game is generally good natured compared to some of the people I’ve played with in the past. Mark was just annoyed that no one put a challenge in on Grazy when he scored because we’d worked hard all game and when you give stupid goals away its annoying, regardless of whether it’s a kickabout, Sunday League or the World Cup. Mark just said that out of frustration and he’d never expect someone to go round booting or elbowing people. I also need to curb my aggression but its more out of frustration with myself than having a go with anyone else, I’ve never had a go at anyone as far as I remember. Dan saved a few of my shots and I ballooned a few into the other pitch so I wasn’t having the best game myself. I get annoyed sometimes if an easy pass is on and then someone tries megging someone or does a Hollywood ball but equally I’ve probably been frustrating to play in the same side recently, I cocked up a lot of passes that could have resulted in a goal for us.

Makes me laugh the way the press are now telling all Liverpool fans that we are all deluded and have no right to expect success, we should all shut up and go away quietly. Yes, we haven’t won the league since 1990, we know that but why should all Liverpool fans just suddenly accept being ecstatic being in the top half of the league like Fulham or Wigan would be?. Only a few seasons ago we were beating the likes of Real Madrid, Inter Milan and Barcelona in their own stadiums. I might have been bladdered for the last 10 years of my life but I’m sure we won 1 Champions League, 1 UEFA Cup, 2 FA Cups, 2 League cups, 2 European Super Cups, reached another Champions League Final (which we should have won) and qualified for Europe every season since 1999, last season, even in one of our worst seasons we were only one goal away from getting to another European final. We also got a record points tally in the 2009 season that would have won us the league in most other seasons. All this despite us being run like a corner shop for the last 20 years and becoming a more depressing soap opera than Eastenders during C&A reign. I think only Man Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal have a similar trophy haul to us during that period, obviously only the Mancs have won the Champions League. There’s no real interest in football by the Sunday Supplement brigade outside of those 3, England and who Man City are going to spend £35M on next so it’s no wonder we never get a look in unless its to sneer at us or whether one of our players will be fit for a World Cup qualifier. The way the press and Chris Waddle in that article speak you’d think that we have not won ANYTHING in 25 years. Now because Manchester City have a bit of cash and Tottenham have a few decent players we should all give up and accept being average. Some of our former players are even at it now saying we shouldn’t expect to compete at all. Stop creating the myth that we haven’t done a thing for decades, we are not Manchester City or Newcastle. They are comparing us to deluded Newcastle fans by wanting Kenny Dalglish as manager, yet there is a difference. First time Keegan came back he’d been living in Spain playing golf having vowed never to manage, second time he was appointed by Mike Ashley just to get the fans off his back and was never given any say in signings. Kenny Dalglish hasn’t managed since 2000, fair enough but he’s been at Liverpool the last few years as a fan and then an employee to know exactly what the problem is. He’ll also know what players to get rid of/need a rocket up them who just haven’t been bothered this season and possibly last season. He’ll also have a very good idea of who we need to buy to improve the team and who he can flog to generate a bit of money. He is already familiar with the structure of the club since the takeover. If we appointed someone like Guus Hiddink it would take him at least until February to have a good look at the players he can trust or who he rates, the transfer window would have closed and he wouldn’t have much time to put his stamp on the team etc. The press just think we’re just a bunch of deluded or sentimental idiots wanting Dalglish back but it’s the most sensible thing to do at the moment, all the fans will get behind him and I don’t think any are expecting miracles, main thing is the players might actually start to look like they care about playing for us, fight for the us and not approach every game like they are a death row inmate going for a lethal injection.

Wonder why the Iraqi national team never played negative shithouse footy in the 1986 World Cup when they knew that they would get tortured by Suday Hussein upon return?

You want to see all the videos that she sent my mate that were shown in court and the texts she sent him that were read out in a posh voice by his barrister. "You did text my client on the 4th of March - come round to my house, fuck me up the arse, i'll suck your cock when you pull it out my arse and you can jizz on my face". The jury tried really hard to keep a straight face.

Ok, first of all, I'm not defending my mate just simply because he's my friend, he did a ridiculously stupid thing that could have ended someone's life and he quite rightly went to prison. He knows that he could have ended up getting longer. I am just saying that it was her constant lies, manipulation and exploitation od two men's feelings that ultimately led to the situation. She constantly played both off against each other and loved the power and attention that went with it. She would basically sleep with one then badmouth the man she slept with to the other. The older guy broke into my mates house at 4am one morning and kicked the shit out of him because she'd made a story up about my mate. This went on for 18 months until teh incident in question. No one knows what happened with the knife but it had both persons fingerprints on it and my mate had 6 slash marks on his arm. He was convicted due to the end result of him stabbing the other guy. Like I said I dont condone what he did but it was her playing with 2 mens emotions that led to it.

Yeah I posted it like a big Mong on the GF the other night but asked for it to get moved but it never.

When did negative shithouse footy begin? - I've only tended to notice it the last 5/6 years mainly. The World Cup compared to some previous ones seemed less adventurous than the last few and there are some teams in the Premier League who seem to just want to avoid being beaten and happy drawing games rather than winning (who would that be i wonder). Plus some teams have rested players in games they have no chance of winning to save them for a game that they reckon they would have been able to win or get a point (Wolves Vs the Mancs and West Brom Vs Chelsea a few years ago) Was having a conversation with a guy in work and he reckons it started way back in 1988 when we played Wimbledon. Basically saying that as Liverpool were such a good attacking team and Wimbledon were just an alehouse team with a few bruisers in it, Don Howe set the team up to cancel Liverpool out and hopefully just get one off a corner/free kick. This fella reckons Leeds were dirty twats in the 1970's but still had enough talented players to win games. Is shithouse footy a recent phenonemon or has it always been around in some shape or form?

Everton have loads of songs - but they are all about us

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible. My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years. At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"