Harry Squatter

Went in 2007 as the first leg Of my honeymoon, stayed in the Jumeriah beach hotel, the one that looks like a big blue wave. Very good customer service and loved the view from the hotel towards the Burj al Arab. Did the jeep tour and night safari, a trip to Oman and various shopping trips. The wild wadi water park was closed when I was there due to Ramadan.

We should Defo loan Suarez out

Epic thread

Christian Ziege

Where's the TV money John?

Looks like Soneone from Bo Selecta

You left out all the stuff he won at Chelsea and AC Milan

Do we have enough for a game?

I can confirm that this is completely true having worked with loads when I lived down south. They would rather play attractive football than win anything do they can mock other teams for playing direct or defensive football. One asked me what was the worst ground I've ever been to and I said Peterborough or Stockport, he said "The Valley, it's so shit it only holds 28,000 and it's not as good as the Emirates"

It would be great if Anzhi came in and offered over the odds for Suarez and the club accepted it.

The season ticket waiting list is a load of redshite propaganda, there are 10,000 tickets available every game but the club always puts sold out on their website and pays for charter flights from Oslo and Belfast to make up the empty seats. Robbie Fowler has been a smack head since 1993 and the only reason he owns loads of property is to fund his habit. Glenn Johnson regularly plays the "phone game" with Ashley Cole on international duty

Agger is constantly on the beak and had to sell his place in Lark Lane to Pancake cos he owed him 500 grand.

5. Rob

Suarez got bummed by Stuart Hall when he commentated on a Uruguay vs England game in the 90's, Suarez bit his cock and is fearful of the English press reporting it which is why he wants to leave. Kenny Dalglish is really Steven Gerrards Dad, that's why his parents split up.

I think it happened when Joe Fagan rubbed his hands at Graeme Souness saying that "this club cannot afford to sack me". After that everything was just downhill. Either that or when General Zod came to earth and tried to repopulate earth with Kryptonians by altering earths gravity. I think that both are heavy factors.

3 of the fastest forms of communication Telephone Television Tell a woman

Mirror and the Mail saying Fulham are interested in Sebastian Coates, Mirror doesn't mention a fee but the Mail reckons they will offer £5m. I'd be surprised if he stayed in England though. Please Fat Sam take Downing off us!

Dennis, I guarantee I've shagged more birds than you do in a week, I shag an average of 75 birds even before I get to work every day.

A bitter on my Facebook reckons that they have beaten us to the signing of Jorghinho "according to reports in Italy"

Plus mental women are normally utter filth because if they weren't most men would fuck them off at the drop of a hat. Mental birds know this hence the reason why they are massive slags.

He is indeed, me and my other mate have sat him down about 20 times to tell him he should bin her, he takes no notice, occasionally he bins her but then she is back on the scene a few weeks later. She said to me on Friday "you aren't sure of me are you which is why you are quiet around me". I told her I was completely sure that she was a cunt and a psycho and the only reason I don't talk to her is because she'd take something I'd said the wrong way and start an argument. Fucking hate her, what baffles me is that she isn't even remotely good looking and has a shit personality, I think my mate just loves the drama of it all.

My mates bird is a fucking lunatic yet he still goes back for more. She has a massive problem with jealousy, however has ridiculous double standards over it but never thinks she is out of order. One night he went out with her and when he went the bogs she started talking to some young lad and snogging him, she let him grope her tits and grab her arse. When my mate came back he got into a fight with the lad but his mates jumped in and did him in. Weeks after this when they finally made up they went to a different pub, my mate is a gardener and one of his customers asked him what day in the week could he come and do the garden. She suddenly decides that this is a euphemism for him to come round in the day and shag one of his customers, when he told her to shut up she punched him in the face, scraped her stiletto down his shin and stamped it really hard on his foot leaving a massive cut. When he got back to his flat he told her it was over, she then takes all her clothes off and asks him to bang her. He does, halfway through shagging her she tells him that she banged another fella while she was on holiday. He throws her out of the flat naked and lashes all her clobber into the street. They are still together.

Brother in law is skint having to pay maintenance for his two kids he had with some chavvy meal ticket chasing bitch. He's in the army so his monthly wage is official to the CSA. She also had a kid with some waster who is officially unemployed but his parents own a farm and provide him with a home and cash in hand income so he pretends he is skint. Brother in law used to buy this kid everything when he was with his mum while the other fella contributed fuck all and would leave him waiting at the window for ages in the hope his Dad would turn up but never bothered. He never gets investigated yet BIL gets hammered every month by the CSA.

Everton reckon they have signed that Delefelou on loan, won't attach the link but it's on Grand Old Team.

Inter yer mam Unathletico Madrid Real Ale Madrid Brian Munich