Harry Squatter

Parked the car yesterday to use the cash machine by mine and there's a row of shops, one a small gym and next to it a cake/balloon shop. Simultaneously 2 gangs of around 4 scally women came out of them onto the pavement. All rough, loudmouth, annoying and all looking almost the same. Sunbed heads, lip fillers and all had their phones out. The noise off them was fucking deafening, all screechy and attempting to dominate the conversation without letting anyone takeover. Imagine coming home to one of these screechy loud annoying twats and having to listen to their mundane contrived dramas. Their husbands/boyfriends must all be deaf by now. Absolute horrendous twats.

Their status as the senior club in the city looks under threat.

They all do it or #KAGS after every post. Kopites are Gobshites for anyone wondering.

I'm not thankfully. Went to a family wedding at the Marriot in town about 18 years ago. Virtually all my family support liverpool bar him and his non bitter sister and the DJ put Ring of Fire on but he stormed over to the DJ screeching at him to turn it off. Last time I saw him was about 2 years ago and he kept asking me why I don't go home and away watching Liverpool and making out he's the biggest and bestest blue in the world. Just ignored him and went to talk to one of my uncles.

My cousin is a proper bitter Evertonian and makes his entire life and personality about being an Evertonian. He went on a trip to Germany last month and went to a random lower league game. Took tons of Everton stickers to plaster all over the seats and in the bogs. Every status update always has #UTFT at the end of it, all his mates are Evertonians and they all have 1878 in their Instagram user names. Just spends most of the time slagging Liverpool fans off for not going the game and posting about random Evertonians who have died and doing tributes to "Top Blues". Last year they went to Bilbao during an international break with Everton flags and asked to be let in as. "Pilgrimage to Howard Kendall" - the fella who managed them for 2 seasons. Whilst sticking up Kopites are Gobshites stickers all over the San Mames.

The only people who like international football are the World War 2 Royalist Brexit loving cunts from shitty little Market towns who follow them abroad to sing their shite Rule Brittania songs and get pissed after 2 pints. Their local teams are shitty lower league ones that will never qualify for Europe or they just support Man Utd or Chelsea despite living nowhere near either club.

Girl in work comes over to the manager sitting next to me "Bethany has dropped her cash card on the floor but she's already left and I don't have her phone number to tell her" Manager says she also doesn’t have her number so says she will keep hold of it until the next day she is in but will email her on the work email to tell her to collect it from the security staff. Manager then says "what's her surname". Girl says "Haven't got a clue, never really spoke to her". Manager shakes her head and says "if you look on her cashcard that might give you a clue"

Everton wives run for your lifeboats.

Eau de Knickers and Bra by Calvert Lewin.

Yeah but they are corrupt and doing everything they can to get them relegated because Everton stood up to the Sly 6.

Where's the Franz Ferdinand money Bill?.

"Mr Meis, we want a proper stadium as this city is a true famous footballing city. Build us something befitting of a club of our stature and we don't want a massive tourist attraction like the other club in the city" "OK. how about the Evspanyol stadium?"

And: Heysel Collina The Ukraine War Clattenberg Clive Thomas The Sly 6 World Wars 1 and 2 Sky favouritism

Those adverts she does for moneysupermarket are shite. She could have done one for Everton when they were blagging their Covid losses. "Let's start saving this club some money"

They are all the same. They just have a crib sheet of lies and excuses they refer to even when they've been repeatedly been proven to be lies or myths. They also tie themselves in knots and contradict themselves to belittle everything Liverpool do.

If they were a film character they would be Steven (Samuel L. Jackson character) out of Django Unchained. Sits there while his white master refers to him and his fellow houseworkers by the N word and says how stupid and backward black people are and he still cosies up to them thinking he'll be treated any differently.

The only time they ever seem to get any joy out of footy is when we lose or there's a weekend where they don't have a game.

Absolutely fuming at that defeat because of that period in the second half where we should have put the game to bed but somehow contrived to let them back into it. You'll never hear the last of this game even if they get twatted 5-0 by City in the final.

Hope Nunez scores a hat trick against these twats.

Their own board refused to sell tickets for the Fortuna Sittard away leg because of fears over crowd violence between the two sets of fans.

Looks like 30 years of being shite and irrelevant is taking its toll on their fans so they just keep coming up with things to moan about. Us being their specialist subject.