sh#t waffle

....last week I tried to clean the registry on my girlfriend's laptop. I was recommended AdAware, so ran that. However, when I next switched the computer on Windows wouldn't load, as apparently (according to a techie mate) Windows 2000 has a small registry allowance and Adaware's own registry entries had tipped the fucking thing over the edge! So we got a computer place to remove the hard drive and burn all its contents onto DVDs, and today I ran the system recovery discs. I knew that this would wipe the hard drive, but I wasn't expecting it to have quite so few programmes left on it. Basically all we have now is Windows 2000 Professional, and...that's it really. All our Word files are on the DVDs as Wordpad files, and this is where I need advice. I am currently looking for a new job and writing reviews for a website. Wordpad is the only programme in the world which I find more irritatting than Word, and my reviews and cv look arse on it. I was wondering if there is ANY dodgy way of getting a free version of Microsoft software with license? I really resent having to buy it when it came loaded onto the laptop when bought (but no discs were provided). Also, it's an Australian laptop so am guessing that to get a legal version I would have to contact Microsoft Australia which would take time that I really don't have. Is there any free and quick solution?

The Gervais episode was indeed tosh, and it has been getting poorer in general for at least 5 years. HOWEVER, this series has been the best in ages. The plots have been a lot more focussed and less random. Apparently they've got a lot of the old writers back in time for the movie.

Wouldn't surprise me, and I do think he has a little more about him than the one season premiership wonders.

I won't go Purple Rain? It's a poor follow up, it really is..

I went for Champions. Just now. Fucking muppet..

Although Rafa would never be swayed in to making decisions based on fans emotions, I think he would be aware of this. If we get Owen, Robbie stays. The source? My gut. However, my gut also tells me we won't be seriously back in for Owen this summer. If we truly are in for Kuyt and that Argentinian lad it would seem that they are probably the prime targets. My gut however still hasn't told me whether it thinks Owen coming back is a good idea, only that it knows lasts night curry wasn't.

True. I am wary of using the term 'one player team' after the patronising way we've been viewed for the last few years. I did think though that they were showing far from the form they are now when Rooney was injured though? And I still think the point stands that they had expectations of winning the league this season yet have only shown championship form once knocked out of the cups and a mile behind in the league. We just expected progress yet look a title winning side with just one or maybe two very obvious tweaks..

Not necessarily contradictory. Spurs still have a chance of finishing above Arsenal this year but I have no doubt Arsenal will finish above them for the rest of the decade. It's about progress and whether teams are on an upwards spiral or not. We have progressed hugely this season, and all the signs point to further progress next season. United however are in the same boat they were last season - a back four that are prone to lapses in concentration, a midfield that is not a patch on their glory years, and an over reliance on one player. They are on course for an impressive points tally, but only went on a run once there was relatively little left to play for. All I am saying is that there are discernible similarities between their side and ours under Evans.

But that's what I mean about them being a little like Evans' Liverpool. How many times was a signing considered 'the last piece of the jigsaw?' How many times did the pundits seem certain that we were to make a strong title challenge? I just see some of that in United, and feel they need more players than a lot of people think. I realise this seems ridiculous as they are almost certain to finish this season with more points than on a number of occasions that they won the league, but I guess the goalposts have shifted.

I'm genuinely not sure that next season we have to worry about United too much. They remind me so much of us in the mid '90s, with Rooney for Fowler and Ronaldo for Macca. Most obviously of all they have Giggs in place of Barnes. It pains me to say it, as he was my absolute idol growing up, but once we switched Digger to central midfield we were never going to win the league. Sure, he still had the vision, and indeed against open, inferior sides he could still look world class. But against sides such as United we always got murdered in central midfield. I don't see Giggs as any different. I'm guessing Ferguson will buy a central midfielder in the summer, but if it's only one then that means one of Fletcher, Giggs, Smith or O'Shea will be a regular. And that ain't good enough to win a title with.

I think that, providing there's a taker, his fate was sealed well before today. It wasn't his worst match, and I disagree about lying down as if injured - he accidentally got totalled by Nelson - but agree with the overall assessment. I think a great many people have learned a very valuable lesson from djibs' liverpool career that Football Manager signings don't always work out. Am gutted it didn't work out for him..

I can't quite believe I am about to do this, but....... 1) Our goal probably shouldn't have stood and if Blackburn had done that to us we would have been screaming about the injustice of it all... 2) He was asked if the way to win derbies is to gee the players up into a frenzy or to try and keep them calm, and his reply was that they've had problems in the last few derbies so he probably isn't the person to ask - ie they've had players sent off so to talk to him about discipline in a derby possibly isn't wise. I actually thought he was bland, unopinionated and unfunny, so perfect for both Everton and the BBC's punditry team..

Ah, that old chestnut. A relatively witty insult. Unless we're ahead of them in the league I guess..

He probably thought they were all inactive..

But "Sure i heard that being aimed at Djib when Hughes was telling him to get up by the home fans. Fuckin twats, if i heard ight i hope they get the book thrown at them." would have been somewhat unwieldy. I agree, it could have been posted under the match thread, but am not sure why you're so riled. If this had become a thirty five page thread on how we should bomb Blackburn before anyone had even checked the match then I would understand your point. But the bloke didn't as far as I know call the police or pretend to be deaf, he asked the question, got an answer and that's it..

Regionalist, I'd say. Until the Indepenent Scouse State is approved, that is..

In the second half we had two instances (first with Cisse, then Kromkamp) where we were wrongly judged to be offside when clean through on goal. They barely warranted a mention even though Gray delighted in replaying the one where Dickov was given off, thus not only ignoring the decisions that went against us but also the fact that Dickov is the one striker I would choose AFTER Djibs if my life depended on someone hitting that metaphorical cows arse with a banjo. However, I have decided to forgive Mr Gray so I can channel all my murderous rage on to Mr Hughes..

I think we did, yeah. I was just trying to deal in certainties. I am also something of a Ged apologist compared to most people on here. However, my take is more that I believe had Houllier not had the health problems that we may well have gone on to be extremely successful under him, and that we were on a fairly constant upwards curve under him until that point. However, how anyone can still view Rafa with "go on then, impress me" goggles is beyond me.

Didn't hear it. Hope you're wrong. Still cannot believe Hughes had the audacity to shout at Cisse to get up. Lucas Neill has cemented his place right near the top of 'the list'.

But this season is still going to be an increase on any of Houllier's seasons bar 2001-2002, is it not?

Surely that's an incredibly simple way of marking process though? We have closed the gap between us and the premiership leaders by about 20-25 points. We ourselves are on course to acrue over 75 points - the minimum requirement for actually winning the league. we are now able to keep clean sheets and win away from home. Add a striker and we're laughing. how is that not "impressive progress?"

If you're going to have an oasis cover it has to be I am the walrus I think. I would then have Under the Bridge by All Saints and Stairway to Heaven by Rolf Harris, purely so I can imagine just how apoplectic precious Chilli Peppers and Zeppelin fans get. It makes me laugh you see.. Oh, and also the Jimi Hendrix version of All Along the Watchtower by Dylan is ace.

Controversy too. The title track is his best ever tune. And yes, I'm just looking for an excuse to talk Prince.

But in putting his photo in his avatar, writing (most of) the fanzine and selling the fanzine in person, has he not done a fairly piss poor job of convincing the world he didn't exist? His other tricks must be truly shit..

My lord, it's just like Groundh.....just fucking forget it.