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Stouffer

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Everything posted by Stouffer

  1. Stouffer

    Joke!

    A boy gets a job at the zoo. On his first shift, his manager asks him to feed the fish and clean out their aquariums. After many hours scrubbing away at the dirty tanks, the boy gives the fish the wrong type of food, and they all float to the surface dead. As the boy doesn't want to loose this new job, he scoops the fish out, and puts them in a wheelbarrow. Having frantically searched for a hiding place for the fish, he decides to try feeding them to the zoo's only lion. As expected, the lion at them all up and the boy's job was safe. The next week, the manager asks the boy to clean and feed the chimp enclosures. Unfortunately the same accident befalls the chimps as the fish had, and again, the boy wheelbarrows them to the zoo's lion and feeds it the chimps, and as before all evidence was eaten by the lion. The next day the manager asks the boy to smoke out the bees and collect their honey. The boy does this, but over smokes the bees and they all die from suffocation. The boy collects them in his wheelbarrow and mushes them down to a paste to feed to the lion. After a while the manager cant figure out where all his animals are going, so buys a new lion to compensate for the losses. After the new lion has arrived, he strolls up to the older lion, and introduces him self. "what's the food like around this place then?" he asks. The old lion replies "not too bad, last week I had Fish, Chimps and mushy Bees!"
  2. Stouffer

    Volts and Amps

    Aye.
  3. Stouffer

    Rate the last film you watched...

    Once upon a time in America. 9/10 Classic Tarrentino, great dialogue, unbelievable story and a magnificent finale. What's not to like?
  4. Big reps for "Chopped Liver".
  5. I didn't realise there was a time limit and panicked.
  6. I'd be fucking livid if the same decision went against us.
  7. Stouffer

    Rangers F.C. Appreciation Thread 2018-19

    I really wanted Celtic to win today as I met a Rangers fan at Daisy's chrimbo party and he was the most boring cunt ever.
  8. Stouffer

    Other Football - 2019/20

    Champ' Manager has a lot to answer for.
  9. Stouffer

    Alternative Christmas Dinner

    Tomato sauce and Yorkshire pud's; getthefuckouttahere.
  10. Stouffer

    Happy Christmas to all of you

    I'm a bit drunk but having the best Christmas ever. Cooked a ham and half eaten it. GF, you should be proud of yourselves, you're good people. Be nice to each other, for once.
  11. Stouffer

    Happy Christmas to about 5 of you

    Just watched the tiger that came to tea with Rupert and Frank, first time since Daisy and I have been together that we've had them at Christmas and it's the best present ever. Have an ace one GF, you're all brilliant.
  12. Stouffer

    Rate the last film you watched...

    Aye, never seen the original but the remake sucks camel dick.
  13. Stouffer

    Have a rant thread

    Pastel of woman trapped in farty train carriage.
  14. Stouffer

    Rate the last film you watched...

    It must be really shit then because Solaris is one of the worst films ever (re)made.
  15. Stouffer

    Other Football - 2019/20

    Villa in the relegation zone now; ha.
  16. Stouffer

    Monarchy

    Preston hospital?
  17. Stouffer

    When is Violence Justified?

    When you go to use the pool car and it's running on fumes. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu'.
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