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Stouffer

Season Ticket Holder
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Everything posted by Stouffer

  1. Stouffer

    Joke!

    A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie. The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.' The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you? To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.' The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause, the rabbit said ... 'Mixin-me-toasties.
  2. The state of that egg. I'd rather have one of these.
  3. Stouffer

    Tokyo Olympics 2020 (21)

    Fanny Horta; French rugby player?
  4. Stouffer

    The world of a woman.

    My missus takes fucking ages to get out of the car, why is this?
  5. Stouffer

    Great t-shirts

    Mine doesn't either, it's constant fucking crime dramas in my house. Load of shite.
  6. Stouffer

    The world of a woman.

    Fuckin' right, go home all you middle class dickheads. Bloke in my local a couple of weeks ago telling everyone in the beer garden that Wast Water was amazing as it had mountains AND a lake; as if we didn't know. Cunt off.
  7. Stouffer

    Tokyo Olympics 2020 (21)

    Is that through freeview or Sky?
  8. Stouffer

    He-Man: A Tribute

    Beast man, beast man whaddya know bout takin off your clothes?
  9. Stouffer

    Mountains

    Can't wait for this COVID shite to be over when there isn't the massive influx of tourists so I can get back to my favourite "lake" that's just down the road.
  10. Stouffer

    Family Strife

    RR?
  11. Stouffer

    The world of a woman.

    Apparently Jack Nicholson is dead; killed himself and I'm totally wrong in saying that he's very much still alive. Oh, it might be Robin Williams.
  12. Stouffer

    Tonight's Takeaway

    Tiny portions T', that box thing in the middle cost six notes and those parmo's are smaller than my cock.
  13. Stouffer

    Tonight's Takeaway

    Ordered two parmo's and a "cheese box". £29.10. I've told the cheeky cunts to come and get it collected.
  14. Stouffer

    Facebook

    I've been getting loads of Qurbani adverts recently too. Costing me a fucking fortune it is.
  15. Stouffer

    Tokyo Olympics 2020 (21)

    They do have big balls though.
  16. Stouffer

    Flying. Everything planes.

    I was getting some gear ready on the pan one day when the ground crew ran the engine up on one. Thought my ear drums were going to burst. Almost as loud as a Status Quo gig.
  17. Stouffer

    Flying. Everything planes.

    Noisy fuckin' things them Typhoons.
  18. Stouffer

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    I go on GoT for our pre-season friendly updates as they're more recent than on here.
  19. Stouffer

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Real life Harchester United.
  20. Stouffer

    That there London

    Where 'bouts P?
  21. Stouffer

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    I'd rather we spent nowt than waste it on the utter shit that they do.
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