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Shifty

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Posts posted by Shifty

    Owen to the Mancs?

    in FF - Football Forum

    Posted

    What a load of horse shit! Seems to me some fans just want Owen to sign for the filth so they can hate him even more.

     

    If Benitez doesnt want to sign him (and let's be quite clear its just Benitez because Gerrard, Carragher, Parry and Moores and one or two others have spoken publically about re signing him), how can Owen have 'fucked us over 3 times'?? FFS if Benitez doesnt want him, what does it matter if our bitterest rivals sign him?

     

    Get a fucking grip you Owen haters!

     

    Denial.jpg

    Funny Pics that aren't worth starting a thread for

    in GF - General Forum

    Posted

    Don't know where this is from, or if its even real.

     

    But damn, its hilarious!

     

     

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

     

    BritneySpears14: Aight.

     

    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

     

    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

     

    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

     

    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

     

    bloodninja: Me too baby.

     

    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

     

    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

     

    BritneySpears14: Hey...

     

    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

     

    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

     

    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

     

    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

     

    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

     

    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

     

    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

     

    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

     

    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

     

    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

     

    bloodninja: Baby?

     

    -------------------

     

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

     

    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

     

    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

     

    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

     

    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

     

    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

     

    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

     

    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

     

    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

     

    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

     

    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

     

    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

     

    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

     

    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

     

    j_gurli3: thats it.

     

    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

     

    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

     

    --------------

     

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

     

    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

     

    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

     

    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

     

    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

     

    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

     

    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

     

    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

     

    eminemBNJA: Oh ****

     

    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

     

    eminemBNJA: Oh ****

     

    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

     

     

    ---------------

     

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

     

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

     

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

     

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

     

    Wellhung: OK.

     

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

     

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

     

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

     

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

     

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

     

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

     

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

     

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

     

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

     

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

     

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

     

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

     

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

     

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

     

    Sweetheart: What?

     

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

     

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

     

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

     

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

     

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

     

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

     

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

     

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

     

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

     

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

     

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

     

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

     

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

     

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

     

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

     

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

     

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

     

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

     

    Wellhung: I found it.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

     

    Wellhung: Me too.

     

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

     

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

     

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

     

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

     

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

     

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

     

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

     

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

     

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

     

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

     

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

     

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

     

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

     

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

     

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

     

    Sweetheart: What?

     

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

     

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

     

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

     

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

     

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

     

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

     

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

     

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

     

    Sweetheart: { [logged off]

     

     

     

     

    aaron lennon??

    in FF - Football Forum

    Posted

    Nah, I reckon Momo's that guy with his location as Norway, but whose spelling mistakes are too non-sensical, as if a brit is trying to type like a Norge with bad english...

     

    I'm sorry, but if it me you reckon is Momo, you're quite wrong.

     

    I've been here since sometime late in 04 (joined i may of 05),Momo first joined sometime in 06 I think.

     

    And my spelling mistakes form a couple of days ago is the Heinekens fault.

    I even answered RiS in norwegian in one of his threads about condoms, how the hell would Momo do that?

     

    Anyway, if I'm not the person you're thinking about, I'm sorry, I just don't won't to be label "a" Momo.Hope you understand.

    The Ctrl V game.

    in GF - General Forum

    Posted

    NOW THEY'VE UPSET JESUS!

    We were slightly worried when we saw the headline "Church Calls for Resistance Ban" but it's nothing to do with us, oh no. It's Sony again. Now the Lord Jesus is pissed off that they have used one of his places of worship - Manchester Cathedral, in their disappointing and under-achieving launch title Resistance: Fall of Man. "I think they are going to be in for a surprise because we are not going to let this one go," said Canon Paul Denby, Manchester Cathedral Subdean and Administrator. We don't know what plan of action the world's 2.1 billion Christians have in mind but it should be an easy fight against only 300 million PlayStation owners. We asked Jesus for a comment but he was too busy playing Gears of War.

    George Speaks

    in FF - Football Forum

    Posted

    is that you borat?

     

    Heh, one would think...

    After putting it trough babelfish (drunk/high - English) this is what i got.

     

     

     

    I think we are one of the temes inn for etooo..

    doutn we weill get hiom thoug... but i t sure would be naice ...

     

    I think we are one of the teams inn for Eto'o.

    Doubt we will get him though, but it sure would be nice.

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