Hoddy

Think it's a bit unfair to slag the writers; there are many, many good drama writers out there in this country working their balls off to get commissioned - a good number of whom have a lot of talent and could bring something different - but, in the vast majority of cases, it's the controllers and the commissioners who opt for the 'safe' option every single time. That's why instead of a brand new angle on a police drama (although some would say why the hell do we need another police drama?) we get 'Holby Blue'. Execs are too afraid that people won't tune in that they have to stick it under the horrid 'Holby' strand. It's also why we get generic dramas with a 'star' attached to it. On that point you're spot on. How many times have we seen soap star 'X' come out of a soap and try to make it as a serious actor using some piss-poor generic drama? In this country it's the actor that peddles the drama whereas it should always be the other way round. Who the fuck knew who Dominic West was before 'The Wire'? Idris Elba? Lance Reddick? They fucking do now.

[NSFW][/NSFW] I see what you mean mate, but the only reason so many people aren't so fussed about beating the likes of Real is cos it's become so commonplace under Benitez's reign. If we'd won the league a few times over the last decade or so, but done fuck all in Europe, people would be pining for the Champions League over the league (on the premise that we should be a European force rather than merely domestic). You want for what you've not got.

No it doesn't. It never means fuck all. It means we beat Real Madrid. Just like we beat AC Milan. And Inter Milan. And Barcelona. And the rest. You can't say these achievements mean nothing because of bad league results - achievements that, when he took over, no-one in their wildest dreams would have thought possible. Am I pissed off about Saturday's result? Absolutely - it was fucking dire. But does it mean we should forget about beating Real Madrid in the Bernabeu? No way.

Brownie, I'd argue that Scholes is a lot more accomplished than Gerrard at picking up and keeping the ball in the centre of midfield. Scholes is probably the best English player at giving himself a few yards' space every single time he gets the ball, and he also picks his passes better than Gerrard does. But Steven Gerrard is a much more dynamic attacking force than Scholes (a much better all-round player too), which is why he can make the auxillary striker role work better than Scholes could. But in terms of a proper centre midfield player linking defence and attack, I'd say Scholes is better.

Cheers to all for all your help. Much appreciated. Although it's ridiculous how many people said David Beckham.

Nothing - they were all wrong. Seriously though - cheers all, it's much appreciated. I'm just gonna bump this back up for the next couple of hours while I'm generating final surveys. In the meantime, here are some of the most ludicrous answers I've had thus far (all of which were serious): A famous cowboy: The Milky Bar Kid Famous Scotsman: Taggart (Billy Connerelly just came in in 2nd place) A number you have to memorise: 4 Slang word for a girl: You go girl Famous soap opera: this was a tie between 'Friends' and 'Phantom of the Opera' Dave

Hello all, I'm in the process of organising a Games Night for my family's New Year's Eve party tomorrow. Part of this is a Family Fortunes-like quiz. To do this though, I need some sort of survey (otherwise, how can I say such a twattish thing like 'And Our Survey Says'...?). With this in mind, I'm inviting anyone to submit answers to the following 20 questions - any time anyone can spare would really help me out. No right or wrong answers - just whatever pops into your head (just keep it clean - this is my family after all!). Cheers all, Dave --- 1. A famous cowboy 2. A number you have to memorise 3. A type of cheese 4. Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine 5. A famous Scotsman 6. A famous David 7. Something on your body you can open 8. A reason you would want to avoid someone 9. A famous Welshman 10. Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house 11. A non-living object with legs 12. An animal associated with a nursery rhyme 13. A yellow fruit 14. A slang word for a girl 15. An ABBA song 16. A word used to describe a very hot day 17. A word beginning with Z 18. A decoration you would hang on a Christmas tree 19. A Christmas film 20. A famous soap opera

Very valid point. Managers are sacked because the players they buy haven't performed - why shouldn't chairmen who appoint these managers not go the same way? I'm not advocating that the whole infrastructure of clubs should be dismantled after half a season or whatever, I'm just saying that chairmen are very quick to pass the buck without acknowledging that the appointment was their fuck-up in the first place!

I can't really add much to what's already been posted here, so I'll just go through everything I can think of, and if I'm just repeating somebody then fuck it - it's such a good fucking show that it deserves it. Apologies for the seemingly random stream-of-consciousness-like nature of what follows: One thing that I don't think's been mentioned here is how Clay Davis absolutely owns this series. From the initial, more elongated-than ever-before shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit when talking to Narise (sp?), to the court scene that goes some way to rivalling Omar's legendary testifying, I thought everything he did in this series was absolutely brilliant. And as Norman warned, "You don't jump on his grave until you're sure the motherfucker's dead." Another great thing here, and one of the many, many reasons I'm gutted the show won't be coming back (even though, as Paul rightly said, stopping at 5 was the exact right thing to do), was the performance of Clark Johnson as frustrated, begrizzled journalist Gus. There's something about this guy that's absolutely magnetic, and I just wish they'd have found something for him sooner. Speaking of great performances, is there anyone who does guilt and self-loathing better than Dominic West as Jimmy McNulty? As Paul says, in the earlier parts of the season he seemed to have crossed the line into 'complete dickhead' territory... but as the episodes wore on and he seemed to find himself deeper and deeper entrenched into Lester Freamon's world (although he had no-one but himself to blame for this in the first place!), the actor drew the character right back to the guy we all knew and loved. As Kopite states somewhere above, the FBI profiler's scene with the camera fixed on McNulty's face was absolutely hilarious. More so for the amount it was underplayed by the actor. And by the end of the series arc, although you still couldn't defend him for doing what he did, at least you could understand why. In fact, what I've written about McNulty could also apply to how I felt about the whole 'fake serial killer' storyline. At first I wasn't sure, and genuinely felt they may have taken the show into a realm I didn't feel it belonged. However, as the strands pulled together and the series panned out, it became clear where and why they were going for this. Cos all the pieces matter. I know 'The Wire' is one of the few shows that you can measure in terms of "wow, that episode was fucking awesome..." or "but not as good as that one" (the main exceptions to this being Series 2 Ep 6 - Omar's court scenes and D'Angelo's death... and Series 3 Ep 11 - Stringer Bell's demise), but I thought Episode 9 in this series was a complete heart-wrenching stand-out. Bubbles' redemption speech... Snoop being killed... and the separation of the Michael-Dookie-Bug triumvirate that came from this... was as emotional and gut-wrenching an episode as 'The Wire' has ever produced in my opinion. Beautifully played. I felt that a lot of characters were rejuvenated in this series. I don't know what other people think, but I felt that in particular that Omar, Bubbles, and Kima had been somewhat stale in Series 4. However, that was all remedied in Series 5. Andre Royo's performance as Bubbles was just fucking unbelievable, and the fact this guy has never won an Emmy lends itself to the argument of whether certain sections of America are actually racist. I've just been back to re-watch Series One, and the range of Royo's portrayal of this character is absolutely brilliant. He's undoubtedly more lovable in his earlier appearances in the show, but there's no-one you root for more in this series - and it's a testament to the show that, in Bubbles, they allowed one massive personal victory to shine through. Kima's growth in this series too was a real pleaser. From someone so likeable - and different - in the first few series, to just 'one of the guys', I have to say that I really enjoyed her relationship with her kid and the redemption that grew from that. It's funny how her and McNulty's personal lives seem to grow in waves as the whole show's played out. One can never be happy while the other is, and they always appear to be playing as counterpoint to the other. Which brings us onto Omar, and his shocking demise. I have to say, I actually knew Omar was going to die in this series. Having said that though, I had no idea how, and was absolutely stunned when it happened (I thought Marlo was going to get him). I was also pleased, in many ways. While it was patently obvious that the creators were never going to let this type of character finish the show alive, I was glad that he never succumbed at the hands of Marlo (brilliantly played, but man what a horrible character). The sight of Omar limping round the streets calling out Marlo's name is as good an epitaph to one of the true iconic characters of modern fiction as there ever could be. His killing of Servinho was also a cute little nod to the character's loose ends from Series One and his vendetta against the Barksdale clan (a funny little sidenote from this: the creators actually wanted to bring Servinho's character back from jail in Series 3, but couldn't cos the actor was - yep, you guessed it - still in jail!). Another thing I loved about this series was the way they handled all the major deaths - none the same, but all as memorable as the others. From Butchie (horrible, painstaking), through Prop Joe (apologetic and as sorrowful as Marlo could ever be), Omar (fuck me!) and Snoop (elegant), they handled a multitude of main characters' deaths particularly well in my view. Right, I could talk about this shit all morning, and will continue to do so another time, but for now just want to list my top 5 standout moments from this particular series: 1) The 'lie-detector' opening to the series. The funniest belly laugh from the show since Series 3's "I can't wait to go to jail" punchline. 2) Kima and her kid saying 'good night' to the world by the window - "Good night po-pos... good night hoppers... good night fiends". A great change of pace for a show that has always defied what it actually was. 3) McNulty's 'funeral'. Has a fake funeral ever been so sad? (I also have to mention here another beauty of 'The Wire': Bunk and Kima, who throughout the series were so vehemently against McNulty and Freamon's ruse, come back unapologetic and with no signs of begrudging. In other shows this would be the end of their relationship - in 'The Wire'... it's just all in the game. 4) Marlo's irate rant to his crew in jail. A nasty horrible character who, apart from this scene, never raised his voice once. And because of that, produced one of the most chilling speeches in the show's history. 5) Avon's brief cameo with Marlo in jail - "So other than that, how are you? What's going on?" Fucking brilliant. And to close this post, but also to open up another load, I'm going to list each series in order of preference (my reasoning will come later). For all those who've seen all 5... do you agree? Disagree? And why? 1) Series Three 2) Series One 3) Series Two 4) Series Four 5) Series Five Ha - I go on and on about how good this series was, and yet it's still my least favourite of the entire show. How fucking good is this programme?!

To the tune of 'Don't Cry for me Argentina': Don't cry for me oh John Terry The truth is we fucking hate you Your big fat forehead Is the sole reason You lost the final Fucked up your season To the tune of 'Chim Chimney': Slip-slippery Slip-slippery Whoops down goes JT A glorious miss For an ass such as he Slip-slippery Slip-slippery Oh what can you do? The ball strikes the post And JT goes boo hoo To the tune of 'Downtown': When you're a bitch, and you've just slipped on the pitch You can always go BOO HOO You know you've got worries, cos your captain's a pussy And he always goes BOO HOO Just listen to the Anfield crowd go crazy in the Kop end They're singing cos they've won and Big John Terry is a bell end Now he'll cry He's just lost a big cup match again Watch him forget all his worries, forget all his pains, and go BOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO Each time they lose he goes BOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO England's great leader says BOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO That's big old brave Mongo for you

There's a complete sense of fun missing in the recent films. It's all too serious. It's as if they just started believing in their bullshit - there was no character like Han Solo to turn round and say "err, what the fuck are you guys on about?" Case in point - compare the flirtatious, comical banter of Han and Leia with the nauseous, eye-rolling exchanges between Anakin and Padme. Some of those scenes were the worst written I have ever seen. Ever. Hayden Christensen was shit. Natalie Portman is fit. But she was shit (and she's not been shit in ANYTHING else I've seen her in... which makes you wonder), and her death scene is one of the most laughable in film history. It was basically she was too upset to go on living anymore. You what?

Their first goal at Stamford Bridge this year was clearly proved to be offside - as much a fucking 'ghost' goal as there ever was. I wonder if, in three years time, the press will be talking about that one as much. Twats.

It's over our very own Crouchster (well, kind of). This from Samuel's column in The Game this week: --- Not a ghost of a chance This is dog-eat-dog stuff, so you may wish to turn the page now, but on Saturday The Independent accused rival newspapers, including this one, of misleading readers over Fabio Capello’s comments concerning David Beckham. Capello did not directly state that Beckham could be our Cristiano Ronaldo, The Independent said. This reporter did not claim that he did. For the record, this was the conversation. Question to Fabio Capello from Oliver Kay, of The Times: “You don’t have a player like Ronaldo to play with Rooney and you don’t have a player like Torres to play with Gerrard, do you?” Capello (through a translator): “I have a David Beckham, and Rooney can be the Torres.” The implication that Beckham’s potential impact equated to that of Ronaldo was clear. It was perfectly fair to extrapolate from that answer that Capello saw Beckham as being able to be as influential as Ronaldo, particularly in tandem with Rooney, because when asked about Ronaldo’s qualities he came back with a reply about Beckham. Capello is not the expansive sort. His answers are curt, delivered through a third party and would often be rendered meaningless without some attempt at analysis or interpretation. Maybe he does not take question-and-answer sessions seriously. Maybe he will now. Maybe, if The Independent is so addicted to transparency, it will consider placing a declaration of interest beneath any favourable mention – and there are many – that its chief football writer makes of Peter Crouch, as he ghosted Crouch’s autobiography and has a stake in his success. And maybe it won’t. --- This is awesome - and this is what I reckon's gonna happen. Samuels is Earthquake, and the Independent dweeb is Jimmy Hart. Now Earthquake has stomped all over Jimmy Hart, it's up to Crouchamania to step in for his little buddy and run wild all over Samuels and his Frank Lampard-loving kisser.

I watched this film tonight. I generally don't go in for pooing in public places, but this pushed me to the limits. Scary scary fucking film.

Series' 1-5 were excellent (1 was a mixed bag - still a comedy finding its niche) - 6 onwards were very varied. By the end it was pretty much an embarrassment - relying on each character's stretched stereotypes and increasingly obvious, pointless jokes and storylines. But in its day it was as good as any other.

Central midfield is the most important position in a football team. He isn't just a 'decent' option - he's a fucking beast, and if we didn't pay the £25 million then all the Fernando Torres' in the world can't make up for what we'd be losing by letting this priceless, priceless player slip through our fingers. Plus, how shit would "Xabi Alonso, Momo Sissoko, Gerrard and Michael Carrick" sound? You can't buy shit like that.

Bellamy: You ever thought of playing the new 'Superman' film on that?

Bellamy (with a thought bubble): Jeez - and I thought Mount Rushmore was big!

Reo-Coker: See, how he leans his cheek upon that whistle! O that I were a glove upon that whistle, that I might touch that cheek!" Bellamy: Shut the fuck up you! Ref - red throw.

Not yet watched Season Three Paul (which is why I've avoided any GF-Wire mentions like the plague). I am Sky-less, and therefore limited to watching shows on DVD (it's the best way though - I don't know how you do it like you do, seven days apart - I must have watched Season Two about five times now, and it gets better each time).

Crouch gives us something no other striker in the world gives us, so no matter who Benitez signed, he'd still get his fair share of games. But… (and this is coming from someone who's been his biggest fan since his arrival)… I don't think, performance wise, he's anywhere near the level he was at during his goal drought last year. Yeah, he's scoring more and getting himself into better goalscoring positions, but there's not as much confidence on the ball this season just yet. I'm also trying to think of the last time I saw him knock one of those inch-perfect balls into Gerrard's path, as happened so often last year. I may be being picky here - as his recent goal-getting is almost second to none. It also may be the case that other teams are getting to know how to play him. Whatever the case, I just hope that the new strikers' arrivals coaxes him into getting his all-round game to the level it was at this time last year. I don't know if anyone else agrees with this?

The thing that most impressed me yesterday was his decision-making. We've not just signed someone who can do the right thing, we've signed someone who knows what the right thing is. In the forty minutes or so that he was on yesterday, he didn't do the same thing twice - or at least in a row. He picked the best option at that moment in time (be it a pass or a shot). I've been pretty ambivalent thus far to his signing (as after Bellamy, Pennant and Gonzalez it was like the blow-job after the shag), but after yesterday - even though I know it unwise - I can't help but get excited. He looks like a 'proper' striker, and after his nice touch of thanking the fans I realised it's going to be hard not to fall in love with the guy… … and his big blonde hair … and his bo-legs … and his massive ass… … and his forename - God bless Mr and Mrs Kuyt.

Unbelievable. My summer of football-loathing continues evermore.

Stu, I agree wholeheartedly with your post topic, but the challenge you're talking about, if I recall correctly, was a two-footed lunge. I remember thinking at first it looked a harsh booking, but after replays that it was ok. Is this the correct challenge? A moot point though, as what you're saying is correct. Refs don't look at the tackle anymore, just the reaction of the player being tackled. Ridiculous.