Chris

I know, I know. I'm not articulating it very well. It makes sense in my head.

If Jota misses a sitter he gets a pass because he's got previous for burying them and is reliable. Can't put them all away. If Darwin misses one, it's the 18-month trend catching up with us and costing us. Can't put any away.

ARGH! I resent that characterisation. I wasn't hating on him. I love him! I said in the intro that his introduction changed the game, I praised his performance and his role in the goals. When in Dave's orbit every Nu-anced argument sounds like you're being full on negative. He'd be a great cult leader or populist political candidate.

I think you're doing a bit, so I won't push back too hard... But we are on course. We won the first leg. If you're driving down the M1 towards London, you're on course. Doesn't mean we can't be knocked off course in the second leg. But as of right now? Of course we're on course!

That dog could have saved society a load of trouble.

You know that dangerous dog breed they're forcing people to have registered, neutered, and muzzled in public or they have to be euthanised? That should apply here. So sick of having to hear this cunt's name and be subjected to his pure shite every day of my life. Fucking social media.

He's been fortunate that we've generally found a way to win the games where he's been most profligate. I can only really think of Luton where his spaffage may have actually cost us points. Of the recent games where we've not won, City, United, Arsenal, he wasn't on the end of the big chances. That's either pure coincidence, or they came against teams that he struggled to get on the end of stuff. Either way, it doesn't bode well. His fucking 8% chance conversion rate is going to catch-up with us in an absolutely massive game. And then the benefit of the doubt he's getting now from people ends.

Have you seen Kylie lately! I should be so lucky.

That's like me offering myself to Kylie Minogue.

I'm not really fussed whether you do or not. Bloke was fat and garbage in the last years of his contract. A total fucking loser.

Pepe Reina gets off really lightly when it comes to our bad goalie discussions. There was 2-year spell before he left where he just didn't save a fucking thing. He might have been the actual worst goalie I've seen for us in that respect.

I didn’t want him gone, but I did question whether he should leave for his own good, given how so much of his verve and creativity had been drilled out of him in service of making him a safety first Klopp midfielder. We’re starting to see it surface again now he’s excelling doing the dirty work, and he’s become a real athlete to boot.

The things I do, just for you guys.

He gets his name chanted every time he fluffs a chance. If we were any further behind him, we'd be in the middle of the Atlantic.

Why is he off balance? There's always excuses. Top strikers don't need them.

Exception that proves the rule.

"Gakpo made it 3-1 when he scuffed his volley from a ridiculous cross by Mo. This is what I’m talking about with Nunez. He’d have struck that as clean as a whistle and it would have hit the keeper. Gakpo almost missed the ball completely which fooled the keeper and gave him no chance." Except the ones where he misses his kick completely (Fulham) or blazes them over the bar from 2 yards out (Luton)

For me, it's not just the absolute sitters he's spaffing, like the one-on-one last night which not a single person thought he'd score. Or the free header he put wide at 1-1. And even the other one-on-one he completely fucked up and for Diaz to bail him out only to find he couldn't fucking stay onside again. It's the fact he hardly ever buries the sniffs of chances he gets. There were about six of those last night. Top strikers make their living with those, you'd think of the whole lot he'd be able to find the net with one of them, right? All the tough chances can't go in, but one of them surely isn't too much to ask? One goal for every ten shots (0.09 goals per shot, Dave's mate Maupay is 0.08), averaging 4.67 shots a game. More shots anyone else in the league. it's fucking pitiful. It's hard not to be over-the-top frustrated with him.

In your Christmas present?

Just future-gazing innit.

Already a bit bored of Littler to be honest. Darts is ace when every tournament is so open. Can't be arsed with having a dominant player again.

Can't believe you're not too busy posting unfunny, inapproriate memes to bestow my post with some shade.

And that is why "The Darts" is the best sport in the world.