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  1. 34 points
    Howya lads. I’m 7lbs 2oz’s and brand spanking new today. I’m a boy too. Life is feckin mad
  2. 28 points
    Three years in and I've just picked up Leeds CAMRA Pub of the Month which is a fairly big deal for us.
  3. 26 points
  4. 24 points
    Just stopped hyperventilating. Fuckers for putting me through this. My Gran passed away today so this one is bittersweet and beautiful. Redmen forever.
  5. 24 points
    Love to each and every one of you for continuing to support the site, be it financially or just reading and posting. Means the world to me, it really does.
  6. 22 points
  7. 22 points
  8. 22 points
    Don't get excited, I'm not returning just yet. Having way too much fun away from the web. I'd still like to wish each and every one of you a merry Christmas and all the best for 2019. Catch you next December.............unless we win a trophy/league....Tory bastards get voted out......Brexit is binned...... Take care all, remember that your life is way more important than others opinions. Just be true to your beliefs but be fair towards others. John, Mike, Shep.......XXXX
  9. 22 points
    Love all this shite about their footy 'values' They like to paint themselves as having done things the right way like Liverpool have but it's pure bullshit. They pioneered everything that's wrong with the modern game, anti-football commercialism at its worst with a history that's bought and paid for and embellished with PR spin. 'We don't buy titles like Chelsea do' except they've been outbidding clubs for players my entire adult life. We flapped around needing a centre back for years then they lose the title to arsenal and - bang - break the world transfer record for Stam. They've broken more transfer records than I can count. 'Oh we play good football' bollocks. When they had Yorke and Cole they had a purple patch of good footy but the cantona era saw them grinding out results. They became synonymous with 1-nil wins and late winners. 'We've got a long tradition of success'. Bollocks, you've got a long tradition of PR and spin. Merchandising players like Best and calling yourselves the biggest club in the world while you were winning absolutely fuck all. They had no bootroom tradition so in typical Manc fashion they tried to buy one with Moyes and Giggseh but they were both total shite. Our fans have our songs sung all over Europe, mancs get their heads kicked in all over Europe. First club to remove football club from its crest for marketing reasons. Perpetual spenders of big money, its main era of success built in a vacuum created by our own failures, and orchestrated by a man whose main drive in doing so was jealousy of Liverpool football club. They're a shadow of Liverpool football club, we're everything they want to be but can never be. The Paul Potts to our Pavarotti, the Tommy Gunn to our Rocky Balboa, the Paul Ross to our Johnathan. They're not a football club they're showbiz, z list, yesterday's man. Fuck you mancs, you lumbering sorry sack of shit.
  10. 21 points
    No card, no present. Nine years I was there. Fucking cunts. Couldn't be happier to be out of there.
  11. 21 points
  12. 20 points
    They should do a Conspiracy version of We Didn’t Start The Fire. Clive Thomas, and Istanbul, Collina’s pockets full, UEFA, FA and Marc Clattenburg.. Kopites sacrificing kids, very high transfer bids, jealous of our imaginary ground, more conspiracies we’ve found. We would have won In Europe, but were always bitter and our team is shitter. We would have won in Europe, but the Redshite stopped us. We go on and on and on.....
  13. 20 points
    I know most of us car owners are responsible ,but this is a warning to be careful about drinking and driving as we approach the new year. Last night I was out in town with a few mates One thing led to another and I had way too many red wines topped off with a few jaegerbombs, Not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit,I did something I've never done before...I left my car in town and decided to take a bus home. Sure enough,I passed a police check point where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests,but because I was on a bus they just waved it past.I arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise. I've never driven a bus before and I'm fucked if I know where I got it from or what I'm going to do with it. Happy new year to you all.!
  14. 20 points
    My little girl has arranged for her friend to come round for tea tonight. This kid was born in America and moved here a couple of years ago. Her mum has now fucked off back to America, leaving the kid with her nan and grandad. We arranged this play date last Wednesday. The grandad said at the time “Yeah, sure, we’ve got no plans for Monday” My missus got to the school this morning and the girl came running over shouting about it being her birthday today. Now if it was my kid/granddaughter I’d want to do something to celebrate her birthday. She’s only little. Mrs Turdseye asked if he wanted to rearrange and he said no. Then when they were discussing what time he’d come and pick her up, he suggested 9pm because he had to drive into our town for something else at that time anyway. Erm, no, Turdsette is five, she’s got a 7:30 bedtime on school nights. So he said he’d come pick her up at 7 instead. How fucking callous is that? The kid’s got no mum or dad around and on her 6th birthday instead of doing something/treating her, the grandad wanted to drop her off at school in the morning and not see her until 9pm because that was a convenient time for him to drive the 15 minutes each way it would take to pick her up. Snide as fuck. Pissed me right off, it has. Now we’ve had to buy a last minute card, present, cake, etc so at least the kid has some kind of birthday.
  15. 19 points
    People's club, cuckoo clock, Fake new ground at Bramley dock. Loads of boos, throwing kids, Lonsdale slip ons for the lids. Dixie Dean, no things red, Wiping snot on womens heads. Got loads of money, Reds will spew, Turned the Liver Buildings blue. We didn't win in Europe etc
  16. 19 points
    Not making them work for it what fucking planet is he on. This is our highest points tally at this point in our history and we've won it 18 fucking times the stupid entitled lottery bastard.
  17. 19 points
  18. 18 points
    Fuck off with the Neville Southall pisstaking you bunch of cunts. What are we? Loose fucking Women? Neville Southall is a proper decent human being. He is what he is, how he looks is irrelevant, the fella is a top example of human dignity and those shaming him need to give their heads a shake.
  19. 18 points
    "We voted leave, why are you still here?"
  20. 18 points
    Credit to @El Rojo for the idea. With the new year having just been (Dave) ushered in, I thought what better time to scour the football world and rank the studliest of its young players. Conditions: To be considered a stud, a player must be 21 and under. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Only Gen Y and Zoomers apply. @Hades Also, no keepers because none of them are worthy. Methodology: If the player is already established in a big league, their national team or a European competition, he gets an advantage. Secondly, how flat-out electric is the player? If you watch him play and your conclusion is "wow, that kid is an absolute electric factory", he gets an advantage. Last but not least, how physically attractive is the player? If the answer is "so much so that I'd let him fuck my wife and I'd get pleasure out of it", he gets an advantage. In addition to their actual performances and achievements, every player will get ranked based on these three variables. One last thing. This will be long and comprehensive because I'm passionate about the subject. Let's get to it, baby. 15. Alphonso Davies, Winger, Bayern Munich and Canada, baby!!!!! Age 18. To start off, this kid has done absolutely nothing to deserve being on this list, but that's not important. What's important is that he is the chosen one. He is currently the only hope that my country of birth will produce a world class footballer and I have every confidence that he will lead the might maple leaf to World Cup glory in 2026. He's also a lovely example of an immigration success story. He was born in a refugee camp in Ghana and moved to Canada at a very young age so he could flee conflict. Thank fuck he chose Canada. In reality, I have no idea if he's any good or not because he's so young and has played weak competition, but Bayern saw enough to pay 10m euros for him and that hope will carry me through for now. Electricity: Very fast, shifty in tight spaces (oily hips as they say), can use both feet. The ingredients are there. I have to say, as his fellow countryman, my heart races when he runs with the ball and that's what counts. Looks: Sex. In truth, he could look like anything and it wouldn't matter. 14. Pietro Pellegri, Centre Forward, Monaco and Italy. Age 17. So, mostly because of injuries, this kid hasn't really done shit yet at Monaco after sealing a 21m euro move from Genoa. He only has 1 goal in 6 Ligue 1 appearances. Electricity: That said, at his former club, this is a guy who played a Serie A match at the age of 15 and is the youngest goal-scorer in the competition's history. If that's not electric, I don't know what is. Looks: Gotta be careful because he's not 18 yet, but my God is this kid good-looking. I mean look at this guy. He could fuck your girl at a moment's notice. I'll be honest, this is mostly why he makes the list. 13. Luka Jovic, Centre Forward, On Loan at Eintracht Frankfurt from Benfica and Serbia. Age 21 An important part of being a stud is doing work when on loan. Young players often find themselves in this situation and few actually prosper. Luka Jovic is bucking that trend as he scores goal after goal for Frankfurt. I've seen multiple places say that statistically, his numbers look repeatable (I don't have time to look at stats anymore myself) and he already looks like a pretty complete player, not just a finisher. He's got a bright future ahead of him. Electricity: Scored 5 goals in a single game this season. That's how you fucking dominate. Totally alphaed Fortuna Dusseldorf. It goes without saying that being alpha is an electric quality. Looks: Once had a blond fringe and brown sides for a hairstyle. Did well to get rid of that. Besides that he kind of looks like a high school bully. Like he could kick my ass and would enjoy it. Bad boy. 12. Marcus Rashford, Forward, Manchester United and England. Age 21 Regardless of bias, the kid is good. He's a pretty calm finisher having scored 39 goals thus far in all comps despite having been managed by two offensively conservative, over-the-hill frauds. Electricity: He's quick, has pace and is quite nippy. Those qualities do indeed make him electric in my eyes. Looks: He's disgusting, we all know that. His nose is so long he could probably pleasure a woman with it. No need for a pic, everyone knows he's ugly. 11. Jadon Sancho, Winger, Borussia Dortmund and England. Age 18 Young Jadon is currently tearing up the Bundesliga and is a key piece for top of the table BVB at the tender age of 18. We'll all despise him when United or Chelsea get him or if City pull a Pogba, but for now he seems like a decent chap. Electricity: Plays with vision, agility and flair, all key components to making a kid pure electricity. Looks: Lightskin, a redbone man, which I'm told women like. Lovely complexion. Not a totally repugnant face, although the facial hair is a bit weak. Pretty fresh haircut. Nothing really wrong with him. 10. Ruben Neves, Central Midfielder, Wolverhampton Wanderers and Portugal. Age 21 When he was 18, he captained Porto in a Champions League match making him the youngest captain ever in the history of the competition. Since then, got a move to Wolves where he's been pretty good. I'll be honest, I think he's a bit overrated because he's slow, not that agile and not that great defensively, but he's got technique in spades. Electricity: Can he hit a dead-ball into the corridor of uncertainty? Check. Can he hit a Stevie G Hollywood ball? Check. Can he hit a thundercunt from 35 yards? Check. Looks: Ruggedly handsome, strong jaw, lovely hazel eyes, 5 o'clock shadow, thick head of hair. Kid's got it all. 9. Frenkie De Jong, Central Midfielder and Centre Back, Ajax and the Netherlands. Age 21 This is the player who determines whether you know what you're talking about or not. Basically, if you don't acknowledge that he could become the best thing since sliced bread in midfield, get out of my face. His potential is completely off the rails. Once he signs for a big club he'll be a runaway freight train. Electricity: He's absolute velvet. Touch is softer than the finest of silks. He's got vision and moxy on the ball. Not a pussy. Looks: Like a token white kid. You, the reader, probably know a bunch of guys who look just like him, but one thing they wouldn't have is his head of hair, which is nice and textured. 8. Rodrigo Bentancur, Central Midfielder, Juventus and Uruguay. Age 21 So this guy is already a pretty regular starter at Juventus and you've gotta be pretty damn good to do that at the young age of 21. Was also pretty solid for Uruguay at the World Cup from what I saw. Electricity: I'm sure he's got qualities but there's nothing that jumps out at me. He plays for Juve and Uruguay so you can bet he's gritty and runs his balls off. Nonetheless, being electric also implies being mercurial and sometimes inconsistent and lazy so he loses a few points here. Looks: Has the G.O.A.T male height of 6 foot 2, so points there. Olive complexion and classic long on top, short sides haircut. Not super handsome, but your girl wouldn't say no. 7. Matthijs de Ligt, Centre Back, Ajax and the Netherlands. Age 19. Made his Ajax debut at 16 years old and just won the Golden Boy award this season. Has looked like a man among boys from the second he first stepped onto the pitch at Johan Cruijff Arena and is already a certain starter for a national team that has a deep talent pool at his position. Two words: stud muffin. Electricity: Centre halves can be electric too. You gotta be athletic, graceful, not a donkey on the ball and you gotta be able to play a high line. This kid fits all the criteria. Looks: Like a frat bro/finance guy. Clean cut but looks like he wouldn't have a weak chin if he had to fight. Pretty handsome. 6. Joe Gomez, Centre Back, Liverpool and England. Age 21 One of our lads. Despite unfortunately being a bit injury prone, really established himself as Virgil's partner and our second best defender this season. You can tell he's got huge potential and if he can stay fit - fingers crossed - he can become one of the best in the world. We can thank Drisco, Aka the great Sean O'Driscoll for blessing us with his wonderful scouting mind and scooping up young Joe from Charlton when he was one of BRodge's assistants. Electricity: Searing pace, an eye for a line-breaking pass, an air of confidence and cool charisma, versatility. He's the definition of an electric defender. Looks: Not strikingly handsome, but that's fine. Maybe Virgil makes him look like a scrub in comparison, I don't know. I think he should grow his hair out and have a fluffy afro. 5. Cengiz Under, Winger, Roma and Turkey. Age 21 Underrated. Carried his shitty Turkish team to second in their league, has already established himself as Roma's second best attacker besides Dzeko and has been vibrant and productive in the Champions League. He'll be another cash cow for Roma when the time comes. Electricity: His long shots are metaphorical thunder bolts. Also, he's a classic cut inside on his stronger foot and shoot one-trick-pony and those players are all electric. Looks: He has a fat face. Looks like the type of guy that will gain a ton of weight when he retires. For the purposes of this list, this is problematic. 4. Trent Alexander-Arnold, Right Back, Liverpool and England. Age 20 Academy product, lovely lad who does a bunch of charity work in the area, established member of a solid defense, disputed a Champions League final last season. People will say that he should become a midfielder, but I think he's a great modern right back. Has some lapses at the back here and there, but he's got the ability to learn and he's a great prospect, if not already a very good player. Electricity: Kid has an absolutely electric fetish. Pregnant women. I don't really get it myself, but it's interesting. Wand of a right foot and can do all sorts of nice things with it. Looks: Ears are a bit big, but we can't all be perfect like me. In fact, I would say it's kind of a perfect imperfection because he kinda still pulls them off. Has an athletic, lanky body that you could imagine him filling out at some point. 3. Gabriel Jesus, Centre Forward, Manchester City and Brazil. Age 21 Coming over to England from Palmeiras in January 2017, Gabby Jesus had all the hype in the world surrounding him. He had mystique. Ronaldo compared him to himself. Thus far, it's a little hard to get a read on him. He was great his first half season, decent last season in a title-winning side and he's been a bit crap this season. Still, he's a 21 year old kid who's been judged to have enough ability to lead the line for Brazil and get games ahead of Sergio Aguero. Gonna gamble here and say he'll be just fine. Electricity: For a Brazilian forward he's not actually that electric. He's got clever movement and is mobile. Good at scoring tap-ins. Meh. Looks: Actually find him quite handsome. He's always got a crisp fade which is important. Studs must almost always be looking fresh and his cut is always on point. In addition, he's got nice facial features and a warm smile. 2. Ousmane Dembele, Winger, Barcelona and France. Age 21 People who follow my tremendous activity on this forum will know I love this kid as a player. From the moment he took the pitch at Rennes I called him, and despite my tremendous knowledge, anyone could see he was an absolute supernova of a talent. I didn't have to go out on a limb. Since then, he's completed a massive move to Barcelona after gracing the Bundesliga with his prodigious ability. Despite being a bit of a cunt, he's proven to be productive and can be the x-factor in any game. Electricity: He's the blueprint. Accelerates like a LaFerrari, is so two-footed he doesn't know which one is weaker (so how would the defenders!), takes the piss with his dribbling, has a skinny, lanky, unathletic build that belies his outrageous talent. Absolute electric factory. Looks: Has the baby-face of all baby-faces. If he wasn't a rich pro athlete he'd be getting little-bro'ed and swirlied all over the place. Don't care though because his football is what's attractive and maybe that's what it's all about at the end of the day (no not really, but still). 1. Kylian Mbappe, Forward, Paris Saint-Germain and France. Age 20 Again, called him before most on here. Not a big deal. To be honest, the first time I saw him play for Monaco in December 2016 I raced on here to say how good he was in order to look smart because it was so incredibly obvious how good he was/is. I'm 24 and he's the best young player I've ever seen. He's got two Ligue 1 titles, one of them for Monaco no less. Won the World Cup and was it's best young player and overall attacker at the age of 19. He's a true freak of nature and that's what being a stud is all about. That's why he's numero uno. Electricity: Pace of a rabbit, agility of a chicken, power of a young thoroughbred. Only Glen Murray is cooler in front of goal. What a player, folks. What a player. Looks: Like a Ninja Turtle. If he was handsome, I'd think he was God himself. Thanks for reading. Thoughts? Comments?
  21. 18 points
    James Pearce @JamesPearceEcho Liverpool FC and Klopp are happy to let Captain Turdseye go in this window without a replacement coming in. He is surplus to requirements. 10.04 am • 6 Jan 2019 • Twitter for iPhone
  22. 18 points
    All done. Feeling, sad, proud, touched and chuffed, all in equal measure with today. Met some great people who, sadly for them, have been dealt a shit hand by life and one refugee lad from Afghanistan, who was so thankful, it almost brought a tear to this swinging brick of a blokes, eye. The lads been here just over a month and no one will talk to him where his bedsit is, as he's 'foreign'. Gave the kid a lift home and he told me that this is the most conversation he's had in the entire month he's been here and how he enjoyed the music, the food but most of all, the company. Me and Mrs Butty have both agreed we will be doing this again next year. Photies of the small hall we helped set up and my trifle taking pride of place on the dessert table. It went down a treat, so chuffed with that, even more so as the Afghan lad had never had trifle before and he loved it. The most fulfilling and rewarding Christmases Ive ever had. Now to cook mine.
  23. 18 points
    I hardly ever post anymore since my daughter died, I don't know if it's that the reason I don't post much anymore but I'm more comfortable lurking I suppose. When she died 4 years ago, I was destroyed and part of me still is. I'll never get over it. There's things that I have to deal with over the last few years, that I think have stopped me grieving for her in a way that I'd like to. In many ways I've become numb to so much. I seem to be on autopilot most of the time and out of the blue, I'm floored and can barely pick my head up off the floor. For most of the time I function like everyone else, I go to work and do what other people do, but I don't get anywhere near the enjoyment out of life that I used to. And I accept that as I know why. My wife and I set up a charity, Love, Jasmine, 2 years ago in her memory and I know many of you sponsored Dougie Doins on his sponsored bike ride last year when he raised money for us - thank you!. We support other families who have gone through/going through what we are and the way people deal with it is as unique as the child they've lost. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief. You have to find your own way. For some counselling works, for others it doesn't. Some prefer the company of others who have experienced something similar and peer support can really help with isolation. One of things that we've tried to do with the charity is give families different choices. We don't just say here's counselling and go to the GP and get medication. We provide self-care strategies such Yoga, meditation and complimentary therapies and these are available to kids and adults alike. There's counselling for those that want to try that as well as support groups and we also provide transport for families to get them to appointments, if they can't get themselves to us. Last year, we asked families what would help and so many came back to us and said respite breaks, so we bought a caravan and we now send families for respite breaks as well. I didn't mean this to sound like an advert for the charity, I guess I'm just trying to say grief is different for everyone. I see it every day in my own life at home and with the people that we work with each day.
  24. 17 points
    Splendid fellows, brave heroes, risking life and limb for Liverpool. Filthy Barca weasels, fighting their dirty underhand war.
  25. 17 points
    To be fair, Pickford should be holding his hands up for at least two of yesterday's goals. Or maybe he is, and nobody can tell.



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