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The easy thing to say here is that the damage was done in the first leg. Obviously it was, but that’s not what I want to hear today as I feel like it’s excusing the clueless, lifeless and gutless second half we saw here. This tie was not over after last week. It certainly wasn’t over when we pulled a goal back within seven minutes and I don’t think any of us thought it was over when we went in at half time with a one goal lead, primed for a second half charge. So to just say now “yeah the damage was done last week” feels like it’s excusing the inexcusable. We had a chance to still turn this around and had we got a second goal Atalanta would probably have folded under the pressure. So that second half was inexcusable, because I don’t think we even mustered a serious shot did we? Atalanta out-thought us and they out-fought us, and their defence and goalkeeper have probably not had an easier 45 minutes all season because of the job their midfield and forwards did in stopping us playing. They were terrific, I’m taking nothing away from them. Fully deserved winners and they did an absolute number on us in both games. That said, we made it incredibly easy for them last night because that was one of the least intelligent halves of football I have ever seen from any Liverpool side. Ever. We can talk about the poor form and lack of quality too if you like, but the thing that was jumping out at me in that second half was that this team is utterly reliant on having Klopp and Lijnders hold their hand through games and solve problems for them, and when they don’t have that they can look utterly lost. I’ve been saying it for a while now, usually because they’re shite in the first half and only start playing when Klopp tells them what to do at half time. There’s nobody on the pitch capable of sorting these problems. That second half has shaken me far more than anything else I’ve seen from us all season. Far worse than the United debacles or the loss to Palace. Worse than last Thursday at Anfield too, which you could maybe *maybe* put down to an off night caused by Atalanta’s unusual tactics that we’re not used to facing. We knew exactly what we were facing this time though and in the first half we clearly had a plan to try and cause them different types of problems than we did last week. The movement was fluid, players were popping up in areas we’re not used to seeing them and although it wasn’t great, you could see we were trying to do something different. It was alright and it felt like we were building up some momentum ahead of a second half push.

Can we just go back in time eight days and have a redo of everything? What heady days they were. Top of the league with eight games left and looking forward to a European Final in Dublin. Then it all fucking collapsed around us. It’s not over and it would be overstating it to say we need a miracle, but we’ve really put ourselves in a shitty spot now. This is what happens when you keep conceding first though. Eventually it catches up with you. Our chickens finally came home to roost. Everyone has been saying it all season. You can’t keep giving teams a goal start and expect to win every time. Even teams like Palace, who hardly ever win games. They’re dangerous if you allow them to be, and boy did we allow them to be. They played really well in the first half and we were lucky it was only a one goal deficit. We were considerably better in the second half and could/should easily have won the game given the chances we had. The performance was laboured and we were far from free flowing, but we did enough to win the game and if two of those chances go in then this game feels an awful lot like Brighton, Sheffield United, Fulham or any of those other close ones we’ve won at home. Those chances didn’t go in though and the reaction has been somewhat visceral. Finger pointing at specific players (mostly the forwards and Dom), talk of how they’re not good enough and that the new guy needs to replace his forward line. I mean, I get it, but it’s really not that simple. Our five forwards have scored 82 goals this season. The midfield has transformed us from the jaded, slow mess we were for most of last season into a team that got to mid-march still chasing a quadruple. As a team we’ve got, I’m not sure exactly, I think 130 goals or so. Up until 8 days ago things were going swimmingly but three games have completely torpedoed everything and we’re all lashing out wildly, particularly at the forwards, with some justification even though I think our front five have more than the forwards of Arsenal and City. Despite the goals though we all know this is not a clinical, ruthless team. The opposite in fact. We score loads because we create loads, and the forwards are responsible for creating a lot of the chances they waste. Replace them with clinical, hardly ever miss forwards (if there even is such a thing, as even the likes of Haaland and Son miss shitloads of chances too) and you might not be creating anywhere near as much. So it’s a conundrum in that sense. The wastefulness against United cost us badly and we had to be much better in front of goal that day than we were. Against Palace I thought for the most part it was clearly just a case of it being one of those days where we were just never going to score, probably because everyone was just a little too tense and not relaxed. The only miss I had a real problem with was the Jones one. That’s just awful. The other ones were just the kind of frustrating thing that happens on days when it’s not going for you.

Monday Apr 8: “Amorim has verbally agreed to join us”, say a load of twitter bluffers. “No he hasn’t, the Reds are still doing their due diligence” say the LFC reporters. I know who I believe, and it’s not the likes of that Pletigoal jabroni from Sky Germany, who two weeks ago said Alonso was joining Bayern. It probably is Amorim, it feels inevitable now, but it won’t be finalised as up until a couple of weeks ago we were still in talks with Alonso. Sporting are going for the title, he won’t be finalising anything with us for a little while. He’s probably said he’s interested and now his agent will be dealing with most of the talks while he gets on with winning a title, while Klopp tries to do the same with us. I like Amorim’s chances better at this point, but at least we don’t play United again so there’s that. Everton get another points deduction, although it’s beginning to feel like the determining factor in what punishment they get is “what’s the most we can hit them with without it relegating them?”. Two points for a second offence is a fucking joke. It was bad enough they got four points back from their initial penalty, but this just sends out an awful message. Break the rules and get punished. Cry about it and we’ll reduce the punishment even though there are zero grounds to do so. Break them again and we’ll give you an even smaller punishment. I’m so sick of Everton fucking crying about this shit and how it’s PL Corruption, it’s the Sly Six trying to keep them down, it’s Covid, it’s the war on Ukraine…. No, it’s none of that shit. It’s that Kenwright sold your club to a dodgy as fuck Russian who wasn’t allowed to own the club, so he put his accountant up as a frontman and you all lapped it up thinking you were oh so clever and would be the next Chelsea or Man City. He ploughed in a load of dodgy money, illegally, and although he didn’t cover his tracks very well (those artificially inflated sponsorships paid for by Usmanov were straight out of the Man City playbook) none of you cared because you were splashing the cash, buying the Liver Birds and acting like you were going to be relevant again. But the players you bought were fucking shit and massively overpriced, the managers you hired were shite, then sacked and needed to be paid off and then the dodgy money tap was turned off when Usmanov got sanctioned. Yet still you bought players when knowing you’d be in breach of the rules. These are the facts. You cheated, blatantly, and this is nobody’s fault except the people who were running Everton. Who really should be in jail for what they’ve done to the club. If Evertonians were targeting their anger at those people I’d be supporting them. Instead they’re blaming everyone else and crying about how unfair it all is. They should be thanking the PL for going easy on them. Finally today, Serge Aurier has launched a bizarre but amusing attack on Zinchenko. The Ukrainian had said that if he was called up to defend his country and fight the Russians he would do. He also said he was going to go over and fight but his family talked him out of it. Leaving aside the fact that Ukraine probably don’t trust him to defend anything, it does feel like he’s full of shit. I’m not judging him for not fighting, as I wouldn’t either if I were him. He just seems to talk a lot more than Mudryk and Mykolenko for example, and Aurier has had enough, saying 'Stop your cinema and go there right now [to Ukraine]. A real volunteer doesn't need anyone to call him up.' I’m a little conflicted here as I agree with Aurier, but I also think it’s one of those things a lot of people will have thought but we all know better than to go public with it, especially when you’re a fellow footballer. Seems like a dick move, but it did make me laugh and I think he’s got a point. Imagine Zinchenko in the war. They’d send him to defend a specific location and you’d find him everywhere else but there, and in the end they’d have to call in that big Polish lad Kiwior to take over from him.

Urgh. What a sickening weekend. Literally in my case, I missed the Palace game after being up all night spewing and shitting. I maybe could have made the game but I was worried about shitting myself. Maybe some of the players should have been as cautious as me and stayed away too. It wasn’t just our players shitting all over themselves though, Arsenal’s did too. I’ll get to them in a bit. The early game on Saturday saw Spurs get their pants pulled down at Newcastle. 4-0 flattered them in the end, they were woeful and their high line got utterly dismantled. It amazes me this doesn’t happen to them all the time, Same with Villa. I watch them defend and think they should concede three, four, five a game yet they hardly ever do. They could have actually scored first in this game which might have seen it go in a completely different direction. The stands at St James’ Park are really fucking high but the fans at the back of the Gallowgate still had to take cover from Timo Werner’s volley. The German Stuart Barlow. I’ll take all of this back if he helps them beat City, but the more likely scenario is that we let him sink us at Anfield. The first goal is pathetic. Spurs looked like they were dealing with the counter but then Udogie meekly lost out to Gordon and then van de Ven just fell over and allowed Isak to score. The second goal is even worse. Romero’s blind pack pass went straight to Gordon, who cut inside and once again van de Ven just inexplicably fell over and allowed him to score. Van de Ven looked like he was playing in his bare feet on an ice rink as he couldn’t stand up. Goal number three is him again, this time he’s trying to play offside against Isak. In the Newcastle half!! Isak ran clear and finished with ease, as he tends to do in those situations. He doesn’t miss many. Goal number four was a Schar header from a corner. Spurs have fucked fourth now haven’t they? Especially when you look at their fixture list. We need the pricks to be up for it when they play City but at this rate they’ll have nothing to play for then. And if Arsenal are still in the title race then we can forget about Spurs doing anything against City as they’ll be rolling out the red carpet for Guardiola. Not that we even have any right to complain, we can’t help ourselves so it’s bit rich to moaning about others potentially not helping us.

Tell me, could you possibly be the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1992, fell down the cellar of Spartak Moscow, and received one hundred pounds compensation? I can’t remember that far back sir. Well, let’s try a more recent case then. Could you be the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1995, fell down the cellar of Brondby, and received a two hundred and twenty five pound out of court settlement? Me mind’s a blank! Maybe you were the same Liverpool Gladstone Trotter who, in 1997, fell down the cellar of Racing Strasbourg? How about Celta Vigo, or does Sporting Braga, ring a bell? Whilst we haven’t been more down holes than Tony Jacklin, boy have we made some huge fuck ups in the UEFA Cup/Europa League over the years. I actually researched the litany of exits listed above to make sure they were in the right order and it just made me shudder. And so, the cup match reporter returns for another outing – join me, Dan Thomas, as I try to pick apart the latest UEFA Cup/Europa League fiasco. I have been very dismissive of this competition over the course of the season, and I stand by everything I’ve said. The Europa League is laden with nothing teams as well as 5 or 6 really good ones. We have gotten to the quarter finals without even needing to go into first gear, we’ve been in neutral in fact. And the first time we’ve drawn a good team, we’ve got our arses handed to us on a silver platter. Assuming that is the last European action we see at Anfield under Klopp, it’s a grim way to end it. A really unfitting way for this glorious period to come to an end, drifting away into nothing. I have this down as being one of the worst performances during Jurgen’s time at the club. It’s definitely the most costly. Yes, I know it’s just five years since one of the greatest footballing miracles of all time when the mighty Barcelona were overwhelmed by a raucous Anfield. But this team is not that one – we will go to Bergamo next week, and we might win on the night. Will we go through? Not a chance for me – we simply aren’t playing well enough. Thursday night was a result in the post, a result that has been coming after a string of performances where we were just asking for it. Atalanta played the game perfectly – they contained us with ease after 20 minutes, quietened the crowd down from a quiet whisper to total silence and it’s comfortably their best result in European football. Fair play to them – they man marked us into nothing and got men forward when they had the ball. Gasperini is an experienced manager who knew exactly what he was going to set up to do and his team played it to perfection. They stitched us up a treat. Us on the other hand…. This would be a very brief match report if I used some suitable adjectives – and I have plenty in mind. However, let’s deep dive. Firstly, the atmosphere was dreadful. I wholeheartedly blame the owners for this. I think a second price rise in 12 months is crass, insensitive and reprehensible and has been communicated awfully. You’re already getting your two extra Champions League games next season – there’s your increase in revenue. Get in the sea. And anyone who is saying “it’s only £x” or “give me your ticket then” you can also get in the sea. The cost of living has not come down, bills haven’t come down, going to the match isn’t something we need to go up in price in addition to everything else. And to announce this after that scandalous United result and before a home quarter final. Some real thinking, that. Boneheads. The atmosphere was flat before the game and during it and it’s of no surprise. The club have to own that. I do also think there was some complacency from fans as well – it didn’t feel like a quarter final at any point. It frankly had the feel of a group game when you’ve already qualified with a game to spare. Flat, passionless, barely above a whisper for the majority of the game. We were just awful from start to finish. We were lucky to not go behind inside of three minutes when Kelleher made a great save with his face. I thought it was a foul on Elliott personally but it wouldn’t have been overturned had they scored. Kelleher did all he could – make himself as big as possible, use his body as a goalkeeping glove, and kept it out with his grid. It was another slow start, the same as the Sheffield United game when we could have been behind inside of 5 minutes. It is a pattern, it badly needs addressing, and we will not achieve the heights we can until this absolute plague has been cut right out. We did actually recover from that terrible start, apart from Kostas who had his worst game for the club – possibly the worst game of his entire career in fact. He was so bad he could have been substituted at half time twice – once to get brought on and once to get taken straight off. He was wretched. Again though, it was final ball and decision making that let us down. Gakpo, who I thought was our best player by a mile in the first half, was lively on that left hand side and he could have put Elliott in but didn’t get his head up. Now that I am thinking and looking back, we actually created a few chances at 0-0. Nunez went through and inexplicably stuck it wide. I haven’t seen it back (and I never will) but did he kick the ball onto his own foot or something? It went well, well wide and I was expecting a lovely little clip over the keeper into the net a la Brentford. And from that moment, we barely created a better chance. This is just who Darwin is unfortunately – you don’t know what you’re going to get and this match was one of those days where nothing went right. Elliott did hit the bar and post with a great effort cutting in from the right, really unlucky and it did start to feel like we were building up a head of steam. And then bam, behind. We lost possession far too easily, Atalanta countered quickly and Scamacca’s shot squirmed through Kelleher and in answer to the age old thing, yes “Alisson saves that.” The manner of the goal was frustrating as much as it was concerning – they cut through us way too easily. We nearly went further behind after Kelleher gave the ball away too easily but he atoned for it with a good save as the impressive Koopmeiers closed in on goal. We got to the break and the word “ragged” was being thrown around at half time as well as “disrespectful” and “arrogant.” The sentiment around me was that we should have gone full strength to try and finish the game off and then make changes. Whilst we rotated, I had the team that we put out as capable of winning the match. But we played so poorly the whole thing has spectacularly backfired. You could in theory have made 11 changes at half time. Well, 10, no situation can be saved by bringing Adrian on. As it turns out, it was Tsimikas, Jones and Elliott were the ones who were taken off. Tsimikas was the worst player on the pitch by a mile, Jones has not looked sharp since returning from injury and I think Elliott was a bit unlucky to be honest. But with Salah on the pitch we’ll make at least 5 or 6 chances for him to miss, right? Wrong! We did start the second half well and were pressing for an equaliser. We should have had it as well but Nunez lifted it over the bar. Again. Very frustrating because that puts us right back in it and Atalanta don’t have experience of Anfield on the up with the Reds pursuing a winner. I think we’d have rolled them over. We then got sucker punched. We weren’t building up a head of steam don’t get me wrong, but we were definitely on the front foot and then Atalanta broke down the right, De Ketelaere just stayed onside and swung an absolute peach of a ball across. All Scamacca had to do was guide it with his foot – Kelleher was flat footed and had no chance. Tidy finish, great ball in. 2-0 and getting towards famous European night in the second leg territory. It also caused all of the Atalanta fans in the Upper Kenny to celebrate and cause the usual trouble. I have no idea why that happens but it does in every European home game. It just ends with a load of stewards standing around their fans. But I digress. As that goal went in, Darwin went off. I have no idea if that was pre-planned or what, but bringing Nunez off when you need a goal is not what I’d be doing. As frustrating as his finishing can be, he looks like he is going to make something happen at all times. Diaz came on and played with plenty of endeavour but there was just nothing in and around him. It was such a flat performance we were lucky to end up with 0. Salah was unlucky though, his shot forced the keeper into a good save. We then had the ignominy of a Dejan Lovren moment. The SHOOOOOOOOT dickheads in the crowd got their way as the ball fell to Joe Gomez outside the box. Instead of trying to lift the ball back into the packed box, Gomez decided to blaze it into the Kop. Yet again, playing Joe Gomez’ Shooting Challenge. May I suggest a cross into the box? You have selected POWER DRIVE! Ball is in THE KOP. Would you like to play again? You have selected NO. That just summed the game up, it was a terrible decision when much better options were available. That’s the story of our last month really, since that FA Cup game. We are wasting chance after chance, or not creating a chance because of making a terrible decision. It’s going to kill us if we don’t sort it. Not that I am blaming Joe Gomez for that. I will blame the knobheads in the crowd shouting SHOOOOOOOOOOT though. At 2-0 down in the first leg, you’ve always got a chance. Given the absolute state of how we played, I’d have been happy to take 2-0 and get back to Bergamo still in the tie. It briefly looked like we’d go back at 2-1 but Salah just went too soon – and I don’t think he needed to. He did look just off as the ball went in and I spotted the flag right away – a long time before several people around me did. Jota came on with 15 minutes left and the first thing he did was win a free kick on the edge of the box. But the reality of the situation is that we were putting way too much expectation on someone coming back from months out injured. The fact he’s back for the run in is a bonus full stop as I was worried he was gone for the season. Atlanta should have scored a third before they did, with Koopmeiers firing a good chance across the goal and someone missed a great chance with a header. But it didn’t matter in the end, they were rewarded for the way they set up and the way they played with a third. Ederson (not the dipshit with the neck tattoo) was afforded way too much time to shoot, and Kelleher could only parry the ball into the path of Pasalic who gleefully tapped in. Game over. Tie over? Almost certainly. As the third went in, commence Operation Anfield Exodus. And I don’t blame anyone – but that is as big a mass exit as I’ve seen and as far as the performance goes it was well deserved. It was an absolute shambles – we had the chances for it to be 3-0 the other way but didn’t take them, we shipped a couple of awful goals and it is just a terrible way for Jurgen to sign off in European football at Anfield. You could not rule out us going out there pissed off, fired up and winning 5-0. We’ve done exactly that in the last 3 years. But for me, we’re not playing well enough, we have key players out of form at the exact wrong time and we will end up going out. Star man? The full time whistle. But our “best” player on the night was arguably Gakpo and that is up for discussion because he fell off a cliff second half. Team: Kelleher; Gomez, Konate, Van Dijk, Tsimikas (Robertson); Endo (Jota), Jones (Szoboszlai), Mac Allister; Elliott (Salah), Nunez (Diaz), Gakpo:

Another weekend dominated by refs and VAR as controversial decisions for Arsenal and Man City, plus yet another one against Wolves ensured the officials were the biggest talking point of the weekend once more. It’s par for the course now and even when they’re right it’s still a shitstorm. I’ll start with City’s trip to Palace. The only thing I’ve seen from the game are clips on twitter of the Palace opening goal by Mateta (who looks a different player since the managerial change) and the stonewall penalty they were denied just before half time. Nothing will be made of it because it never is when it’s City. Can you imagine the inquest if that was us though? It should be a penalty but because refs have been allowing stuff like that all season (usually from set-pieces rather than open play like this one) it’s easy for pundits to just gloss over it as one of those “you won some you lose some” calls (which it is) instead of asking how come these decisions ALWAYS go in City’s favour. It’s virtually the same as the one Everton were awarded at Newcastle last week, and I haven’t seen anyone claiming that wasn’t a pen. Even Newcastle fans didn’t dispute it. Yet no-one in the media cared that Manchester’s own Paul Tierney dismissed it and that VAR looked at it for all of 5 seconds before clearing it. City would probably have gone on to win the game anyway as they usually do, but every fucking year it’s the same. Every set of fans in the country thinks the refs are against their team and they all have countless incidents they can point to as to why that is. It doesn’t mean they’re right, it just shows that every team gets fucked over from time to time. Every team except one. The one with the most money and who pays for refs to fly over to the Middle East on lucrative side gigs. As Matt Le Tissier would say, makes you think.

Not beating this dogshit Man United side once can be put down to bad luck. Not beating them twice is careless. Failing to beat this fucking horrendous shambles of a United side on THREE occasions is embarrassing and inexcusable. It’s going to take a long time for me to get over this one, unless of course we somehow still end up winning the title. That’s no longer in our hands though. It was before this fucking debacle. Everything that had gone before this weekend was irrelevant as it was all just setting us up for this, an eight game sprint to the line where we had a three point start over City and a two point start over Arsenal. Win all eight and we’d be Champions. Our games aren’t even that hard. The starting pistol went and we smashed into the first hurdle and we're now face down on the track. I keep seeing people say that this was our most difficult fixture remaining. Why? Because of history, nothing else. United are SHITE. We’d seen it first hand ourselves twice before and this proved it even further. Proper shite, a genuinely bad team just begging to be humiliated. These are even worse than when we beat them 5-0 and 7-0. All this voodoo bullshit about how we never win at Old Trafford so this is a difficult game. Fuck that. Play the opponent, not the occasion. And the opponent is fucking shit. Don’t take my word for it, just watch all three games we’ve played against them. 87 shots we’ve had in those three games. Plus countless situations that would have led to shots had we actually PLAYED THE RIGHT FUCKING PASS. That works out at a shot almost every three minutes. I bet we don’t have that kind of number against anyone else we’ve played, so spare me with your “most difficult fixture” superstitious nonsense as I'm not buying it. A shot every three minutes!!! And we did not win even one of those games. It falls mostly on the forwards but the midfielders and full backs are not blameless either. Difficult game? It was actually the opposite. Gary Neville absolutely nailed it on commentary when he said that people are saying it’s our toughest game but that in terms of the actual play we won’t have an easier game in the run in. This was while we were fucking battering them and their crowd was ready to turn as soon as we got a second goal. He was absolutely right, it was so fucking easy. We won’t dominate another side like that in this run in, we didn’t even dominate bottom club Sheffield United like that the other night because, unlike Ten Hag’s rag tag bunch, the Blades actually made it difficult for us. This wasn’t difficult, it was easy as fuck and that’s part of the problem. Tortoise and the Hare, the Viper vs the Mountain, the same analogies I used after the FA Cup game. This was slightly different in that I don’t think we were anywhere near as laid back about it and I do think the intent was really there to get the second goal and to finish them off, but the wastefulness was the same and I do think we got lulled into a false sense of security again just by how fucking easy it was. Put it this way, Quansah does not do that against Man City. Not a chance. It’s actually scandalous that we ended this game with only two goals and that neither were from open play. How fucking incompetent is it to not score a goal in open play against a team that was giving up a shot at their goal every three minutes? And yet this is exactly what some of us were afraid of. I said it before the cup game and I said it before this one. There was absolutely no doubt that we’d dominate the game and the only danger was if we were not clinical. And surprise surprise, we fucking weren’t.

Monday Apr 1: Been thinking about what I said last week about not having any better suggestions than the managers that have been linked with us so far, which is basically Amorim and De Zerbi as there hasn’t really been any credible links to anyone else. It’s a sad state of affairs that neither of those feel right at all and I don’t want either, but there isn’t anyone else who ticks all boxes either. So if there’s no-one who ticks every box, no clear outstanding candidate, then shouldn’t we just go with someone who we at least know understands the club? My first choice would be Pep Lijnders, but for whatever reason he isn’t even getting any consideration from the club and he’s definitely leaving. So how about, and hear me out here, we at least speak to Gerrard and sound him out? I know he was shit at Villa and that they’ve gone from strength to strength without him, but you can’t just dismiss what he did at Rangers and he did spend time here with the 18s learning about Klopp’s methods. He played a big part in developing Curtis so at least we know the kids coming through would be in good hands. I know it’s far from ideal, but put it this way, if he’d stayed at Rangers and the Villa debacle had never happened, he’d be by far and away the obvious choice to succeed Jurgen, so in the absence of any clear and obvious better option, should we not at least be giving him an interview? There are obviously reasons against it, but I can give you reasons against De Zerbi, Amorim or whoever else you want to mention too. And none of them are Liverpool legends who get the club, know what it means to play for this club and who have won trophies with the club. If you take away his time at Villa his CV is actually very similar to Alonso, and we all wanted Xabi so is this such a mad shout? It’s no madder than going for Italian Brendan who was single handedly responsible for letting Everton stay up last season. It’s been Stevie’s dream to manage us and what could be better than Gerrard finally getting his Premier League winners medal as our manager? Just imagine! We’re an emotional club, an emotional fanbase and we need to be able to connect with our manager. I’ll take Gerrard over some beardy Portuguese fella none of us had heard of up until a couple of months ago. I was always dead set against him being manager even when he was doing well at Rangers, so I accept that this is a big change of direction for me, but these are desperate times and you also have to figure in what date it is today. Boom! Gotcha. On a serious note though, replacing Klopp the manager is something we might be able to do if we get lucky. It’s not inconceivable that we find a coach who really knows his shit and can maybe get the team playing even better. It’s not likely, but it’s definitely plausible. Replacing the Klopp the man on the other hand is impossible. There’s no-one like him, before or since. Shanks is the only one comparable and he was a one off too. Watching that video today of Klopp with Sean Cox just brings it all home. There’s no-one like him, never mind the football side of it, he’s just such a special human being. The way he is with people, it’s all just so genuine, heartfelt and warm. You can’t fake how he is, he’s just a genuinely great man and we can’t replace that. When people talk about how difficult it will be for someone following on from him, they usually mean because of the on pitch success and the results we’ve had, but that’s really not the hardest thing. Of course it’s a challenge and it won’t be easy, but Paisley followed Shankly and outdid him. It can be done. The real difficulty for whoever comes next is being judged against Klopp the man. Also today, Guardiola was being a bellend again because he didn’t like a question he was asked. The question was a legitimate one too. The reporter asked him why he gave Grealish such a public and animated dressing down on the pitch and could it not have waited until they got back to the dressing room. Passive Aggressive Pep (might actually start calling him “Pap” from now on) did that horrible sarcastic tone he does and was saying something along the lines of “it’s because of my ego, I need everyone to be looking at me and talking about me”. Which is funny because that’s EXACTLY what it is. He also had to respond to Keane’s comments at the weekend about Haaland looking like a League Two player (can’t think why Keane would have a grudge against Haaland….). Obviously he went overboard, as he tends to do, but there is an element of truth to what he said. Haaland is the best in the world at what he does, but he’s pretty shit at everything else. It’s kind of like me in a way. I discovered tonight that I’m actually number one in the world at something. No joke this time, I’m deadly serious. You know how on Call of Duty there are little extra games you can play, like Zombies? Well the machines at the driving range have it too. Zombies appear on the screen and it shows you the distance and direction they are located and you then have to hit a golf ball out onto the range to kill them. I played it last year and was there for about 20 minutes until I ran out of balls and had to stop playing. I had the top score, and not just at the range where I was playing, I’m talking worldwide. Every Foresight Sports fitted driving range throughout the world that has this technology linked up and I had the best score (which was double the next best one by the way) but I didn’t think much of it at the time as I assumed it was just because the game was new and not many people had played it yet. Tonight I decided to play again, and guess what? My name was still at the top and nobody had beaten my score. Until tonight that is, when I beat it. So now I’ve got the two best scores in the entire world on ‘Wave’ and I’m also top on ’Survival’ mode too. I reckon I could beat Rory McIlroy at this game. So I might be League Two at everything else, but like Haaland I’m the fucking top dog at the thing I’m good at.