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Christmas is celebrated but it's not a public holiday here. I've spent the day dressed as Santa handing out presents to 120 kids. The girl in the front on the left has 1 thumb and stubs of fingers and toes. Her mother was given Thalidomide during pregnancy.

I was up drinking Baileys and beer and watching movies until 03:00, and then the kids came in screaming that Santa had been at 06:00. This is why I look like I do here. But anyway, happy Christmas all.

He can fuck off with the rest of the bastards.

Wherever your sailboat currently is, I wish you the best possible day. To those of you who are battling choppy waters, I’m sure there are calmer conditions ahead. Stay afloat, stay alive, stay with us. The TLW ocean needs you in it.

I had a go at doing a Christmas cake, what do you all think?

Had a good day. Bit tough as the stepdaughter has cancer. Got an lfc polo shirt, training top and a jumper. Made thing is grandkids and nephews enjoyed it . Been a funny few Christmases. 2018 my dad was terminal, 2019 first without him 2020 was normal then two covids Christmas then this

Roast pork sandwiches and baked Camembert for xmas eve, in our Oodies, watching Harry Potter

Should move this thread to the getting older thread. Virtually everyone is moaning, ill or in hospital.

All the best everyone, hope you all have a smashing day.

Heck Italian chicken sausages with roasted peppers, sun dried tomatoes, pesto and rigatoni.

Not technically f**ty on the GF, but a lovely gesture by Betis supporters:

Well that was an ice breaker Mum: do you speak any Irish paddy? Paddy: pog mo thoin Mum: ooh, what does that mean? Paddy: kiss me arse

Lukka bar, Dalyan Christmas Dinner. 695tl about £30. Very nice. Potato and leak soup. Turkey dinner. Salted caramel pudding and glass of bucks fizz. No cooking or dishes to wash

Fucking horrific. Just got back from Her Indoors sisters. (mother of bint). Food fine but I didn't eat much because I've had the worst cold I've ever experienced, no appetite. Anyway, KIng Twat's speech comes on and the telly has to be turned up. They're all listening to the shite he spouts while I'm taking the piss when I can stop laughing. Then they play some silly royal / religious song on the TV which HI's mum, sister and bint sing along to. When that crap had finished bint is in the kitchen singing 'let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.'. Endlessly. Made my excuses and fucked off. Wanker is due there now but I am back in the safety of Galactic HQ.

Here's a picture I drew of my uncle Brian when I was 12:

Happy with this little haul.

Righto, I'm a bit pissed, so this sounds an apt time to voice my theory - all suits can be plotted on a bell curve graph, with an x axis of expense, and a y axis of how good they look. There's a sweet spot in the middle. The absolute finest suits of Saville Row are only commissioned by inbred morons like Boris Johnson. People for whom the quality of the garment is entirely disassociated from any concept of personal style. The inverse is true at the other end of the axis. As such, their gilded sacks look no better than shiny off-the-peg £49 jobs from TK Maxx designed for teenage court appearances. I have other theories, namely a biscuit classification system, and a taxonomy of sport. All came to me whilst drunk. Merry Christmas

It is tough but actually it isn't tough really is it? They are shite. They are 12th in the league. If Man City were playing them everybody would rightly have Man City down to win at a canter. The reason it is seen as or feels tough is because of the lack of confidence we have in our side right now, our abysmal away form all season and also as well on top for me because you can bet Villa Park will be a bearpit tomorrow and they'll be revved up to fuck - whereas it would be sleepyville if it was Man City going there and they'd be dead passive. If we have any ambitions at all of a top 4 place these are the sort of games we should be winning though....Ideally we should not find any away outside of the rest of the top 6 and going the pit as 'tough'.....and if we sort or shit out they won't be.

I'm a traditionalist. After 56 years of not watching his mum's speech, I'm continuing to not watch his.

Are you Martin Platt?

Am I the only one who thinks it sounds an eerily festive crime? A woman, Christmas Eve, an Inn, three men...

Well that quiet Christmas has gone. I had stoma complications this morning so spent the day feeling a bit sorry for myself. After vomiting late morning I called 111, was then sent for a GP appointment and now I'm in A&E awaiting further tests. Merry fucking Christmas.

Stock made, had pork pies with English mustard and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Ham is on now so I'm relaxing with a glass of wine whilst downloading some games on the youngest's Chrimbo xbox (they're not coming until the 28th) and watching Scrooged. Get some, get some.

Had a great day, all four kids and grandson together and a bottle of Remy keeping me company. Best bit though has to be my brother in law re-gifting me a posh LFC scarf that I gave to him when I went to a game in one of the the corporate lounges and was given it as part of the package. As I don’t wear scarfs I thought he might like it. The re-gifting thing is fair enough I suppose but he actually told me that he had got it off me when he gave me the wrapped present and when I got home the gift tag said ‘happy birthday Andy’, his name not mine. Anyway it’s Christmas so if anyone wants a black and white LFC scarf then let me know; I’ll even use the tag if you change your name to Andy.

Fucking great spending a fortune on family members when all you get in return is a box of Ferrero rocher and a £10 Costa Card. Fuck that shit next year.

The pretentious jug eared,sausage fingers twat can take the rest of his parasitic family, the house of Lords and 90% of of the MPs in Parliament and fuck off,when tbey get there fuck off again

Jug eared twat

The recruit, 8/10. Netflix show about a CIA lawyer who gets dragged into the deep end of it all. Was really surprised by it, thought it'd be standard fare but it was clever and witty too. Really good.

I'm at my ma-in-law's, trying to keep a straight face, because her festive place mats have got Santa's tackle hanging out.

Just started watching Strike after a heads up from one of the lads at work. Only 2 episodes in and I'm really enjoying it but I must've said, "Wow, she is gorgeous" about Strike's flame haired receptionist at least half a dozen times.

He is just really far away

Proper happy faces on the kids. That's what it's all about.

Merry Christmas to all of those who know what’s really going on in the bowels of the deep state. Don’t let the bastards grind you down. 2023 is the year of Q. It’s our year.

Pepper’s back.

Ha ha, fucking Hell. I watched the 2006 film after reading your review. I was actually watching it thinking, 'Where's this wee lassie then?'.

One destroyed Christmas elf

Was reading an interview with Lee Child and he was saying his lad writes or is taking over the books now. He came across as a really decent fella too. Never knew his background was working in British TV.

As a scouser I don't like sharing a postcode with Wirral, it's rough as fuck.

While I understand your sentiments towards Christmas (Yours may be based on a bad personal experience of course) the joy it brings to kids and getting together with family is the reason it is still worthwhile for me.

Just found out my son was in there but left at 1030pm, scary as shit. RIP to the poor girl.

Got Stand By Me on for my 12 year old daughter. Chris Chambers is the best friend anyone could ever have.

Ever the optimist! Thanks all, looks like I'll be waking up in hospital on Christmas Day.

Get well soon brother. It could be worse, a woman could chop off your penis and throw it out of the window of a moving car.