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Roll up! Roll up! Step up for the TLW competition of the year. A quiz where YOU may be the answer!! It's a quiz about all things TLW. How good is your knowledge of the forum? All questions and answers are to do with legendary posts, posters and moments. Become the envy of the forum by acquiring the title the "Official TLW guru" (previously held by @Chairman Meow -- No pressure, but @Chairman Meow got 100% last time!!!) Prize You can use "Official TLW guru" as your forum-rank/title throughout 2020. Rules • After clicking the link below, you'll need to enter a NickName:- ○ Don't use swear words. The software will change it to something random and I wont be able to work out who you are. ○ Try to make it so I can work out your username from it. Use your forum username if you can. • You only get a limited time (20 secs) to answer each question. • Each question is timed. The faster you answer a question, the more points you score. • Only one entry per forumite. (multiple attempts will be disqualified and you will be lampooned on the forum). ○ If it times-out or crashes or something then by all means have another go. Its just for fun after all. • Jennings' decision is final no matter how drunken/incorrect. Link to Quiz - You can use any browser. I have tested it in Chrome (on an iPhone and a Desktop PC). https://kahoot.it/challenge/0112885?challenge-id=f75d1cf4-9a8d-4e7f-ac44-2592df2c27ed_1640981953705 I am sure there are loads a way to cheat/ruin it - but I've put a load of work in here, so do your best to play in the spirit intended. Good luck!! Please reply in this thread with comments with any feedback/comments/errors/omissions/funnies.

New Year hangover remedy - fried bread under the abundant mushrooms (cooked 5 minutes to stop them getting mushy). Shame I left the bacon in too long, but otherwise quite nice. Black pudding was crispy on the outside and soft inside. If I hadn't farted around with that then the bacon might not have suffered. Apologies in advance to Tony - as a fellow tomato afficionado - we only had those little salad tomatoes left, so they kind of disintegrated (but they at least had a relationship with a hot pan). Anyway, let the blood-letting commence:

It’s a cunt. Never thought I would be that fella but it got me. The wife cheated on me with her ex on Facebook and it turned me into a paranoid loon. He lived in America but it stung me to the point I went into a downward spiral. Been on setraline but now live in scotland and have no family or close friends around me… been a rough 6 months but I’m starting to come out the other end. Still have really bad days but my little girl keeps me going. Had some days I really didn’t want to go on. It really does get better… just stick in there

Thanks for all the good wishes folks, I'm away for a few days with the wife and my girls (the lad decided he'd stay home and dog mind). I spoke to my GP today and we've decided to increase my medication for a start and then see where we are in a month. Fingers crossed I'm on the right road! Happy New Year all.

I really fucking appreciate that, mate. TBH, I was worried about the blog question and that one about the 'fat Tory cunt' because I didn't want it to be 'divisive' about any posters - all who make this a great place to hang out. I hope the fella in the other question appreciates it was meant to be wholesome/inclusive.

Happy New Year everyone. And apologies for not pulling my weight of late X

All we need to do is throw a list of ‘injuries’ at the PL and 'close' the training ground.....but we are not that type of club it seems. We're the biggest fucking mugs around. Just say that Klopp has been in close contact with everyone and that some of them need to isolate. Just push hard to get it called off. We won't of course. We're too nice on and off the field.

We don't care what the red lights say...

Our New Years buffet from last night. Mrs Willard went full 1970s with dressed salmon and black first gateaux. It all went within an hour.

Best/worst of 1991 Film: Point Break TV Programme: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Best Album: Now That’s What I Call Music! 20 Fittest Bird: Sammy Rogers (Rachael Lindsay) Fiitest Bloke: Patrick Swayze Best Moment: Completing Streets of Rage on the Mega Drive Worst Moment: Mark Fowler revealing he is HIV-positive

More depressing is that most people don't give a fuck because they're just happy someone other than us or United (and probably even Chelsea) are winning it. They're letting that cloud their judgement as to what City are doing and how genuinely horrific it is for everyone. They're ruining the game in this country and most people are refusing to see it.

.The stewards are currently looking into this...

Good riddance. See you in a few hours.

I've got 5 cheeseboards.

Fans plural Bottle singular That must have been interesting.

Other than the ones today: - Clear penalty for Liverpool (Emerson on Jota) not given, Spurs v Liverpool - Clear red card not given (Kane on Robertson), Spurs v Liverpool - Clear penalty for Newcastle (Ederson on Fraser) not given, Newcastle v Man City - Match-winning penalty given for "handball" that struck Moutinho on the side, Man City v Wolves and this is just in the last three weeks or so

Blue & white lights ello. That club is fucked. This is what living in our shadows done to them

Final effort for 2021.

The first game of the new year, and it’s taken on more significance that it had prior to the Leicester game. That damp squib has raised (or re-raised) many questions. We are nowhere near as bad as an England test batting line-up but we did a passable impression of Joe Root’s hapless Ashes XI by shitting down our own leg. That needs to be eradicated, pronto, as we will be without 2 of our 3 best attackers for the best part of a month after this game. What do we need? Grit. Heart. Organisation. Strength. Tactical flexibility. Give no quarter. Offensive cohesion. Ability. Luck. I don’t ask for much. We had all of that in abundance in May 1986. A squad that had looked second best to Everton until around March was now in a position where they could reclaim the league title at the expense of their neighbours. And there was still an FA Cup final to come against Howard Kendall’s men. But first there was the small matter of seeing the job through against a Chelsea team led by John Hollins, and with the prolific Kerry Dixon up front. See it through we most certainly did. Whelan miscued a shot from the edge of the area. It bounced off a Chelsea player back to the Irishman, who leapt to flick the ball on. Skippy was in attendance, volleying the ball over the back of the Chelsea defence to The King. He chested the ball down and smacked it past the goalkeeper. Now that we had the lead, it didn’t matter what Everton did in their match (they and Lineker were swatting Southampton aside at the Boo Camp) as long as we held on. Joyous scenes greeted the final whistle, and it’s one of my abiding memories of watching footage of that era, seeing Kenny sitting in the dressing room afterwards just taking it all in. His first season as player-manager and he was about to deliver the club’s first league and cup double. Incidentally, I always found Stamford Bridge to be a weird ground as the used the areas behind the goals as a car park. Normally you’d only see a vehicle near the playing surface at cavernous concrete bowls behind the Iron Curtain, and it was usually a police van with an officer stationed beside it holding an AK-47 in one hand, and a leash affixed to a rabid Alsatian who was going mental at the supporters behind a fence in the other. The surprise box office hit at the beginning of May 1986 was a fictional (or maybe semi-biographical) story called Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling, starring the legendary Richard Pryor. It’s about a young man trying to make it as a stand-up comedian while snorting and freebasing shitloads of Colombian marching powder and shagging hewwers. So real-life then. It even includes a scene where his character burns himself while freebasing, which is something that happened to Pryor himself. I hadn’t even heard of this film until researching for this themed series of match Ops, but I am very familiar with some of his stand-up and his acting career. He was a crazy bastard but one of the funniest people around. A lot of the jokes from Live In Concert would not fly in this PC-woke word we live in today, but they are still incredibly funny. That story about the Chinese restaurant will bring you to tears! This is our last game before our African contingent fly out to Cameroon for the AFCON. Money is the only reason for holding it every 2 years. Shit, when several influential people are pushing for an even bigger money spinner in the World Cup to be held every 2 years, of course the continental federations like CAF are going to push for more regular international competitions on their continent. Jurgen has already had his say on the matter. We need to be avoiding the sloppiness that has characterised our play in a number of games this season. We need to be effective in the middle of the park, attacking and defending. We also need to be more ruthless in the final third. We can do it. We know we can do it. We just have to go out there and do it. A result at Stamford Bridge has previously led to great things for us. Make it so again.

It's more the blatant penalty Arsenal didn't get in the first half. The ref not even being told to review it like City's Pen. As I said weeks ago the refs in the PL are having more effect on results than the actual teams playing.

Dr Troy/@Harry Squatter has ruined 2022 already!

One time I had some really troublesome symptoms - I won't go into detail but blood, snot and pain weren't even the worst among them. I went to google and there was a post from someone with exactly the same symptoms. I mean inconclusively exactly the fucking same. The post wasn't the first in the thread and I didn't read the previous ones. I didn't need to. This poster had exactly the same symptoms. The reply to this post was from a medical expert sharing his prognosis. My head swam as I read the words (I am paraphrasing as this was ages ago)..."I am sorry to report to you that this is certainly 'longus-latinus-name-us' and is always fatal within three months. I honestly felt like I was gonna burst into tears. I didn't need to read on, but for some reason I did... "...but don't worry. Your rabbit cannot pass this disease to humans." That was the day I learned not to google my symptoms. No rabbits were harmed in the making of this post

One thing I've learned the hard way with all this is that the internet is not your friend. I can't stress that enough. Doctors are trained to interpret all the factors (symptoms, likelihood, other factors like age etc) the internet isn't and invariably defaults to the worst case scenario. My philosophy these days is if it's worrying me go the docs, if not don't. Old school.

City are sky sports new 90s United. They want a money no object brand who can sign the worlds best players to boost viewing figures. Corrupt oil cunts, I hope we win the league cup.

Officials to City's rescue again. Focus on the European Cup, this league is bent.

I’m fairly convinced that’s how my lad got it. Family member tested negative on day 6 and 7, then came for Xmas. I’m not particularly fucking pleased as I much as said this would happen and the guidance seems to suggest you should still limit contact even after negative days on 6 and 7. I’d imagine no one is, they just take the green light. We’re on day 5 here (accounting that the day you test positive is day 0), all negative tests for those who tested negative on PCR so far. Eldest lad will do his day 6 tomorrow, so fingers crossed as he’s climbing the walls and could go to school next week if he tests negative twice before Tuesday.

That's not where this is heading. The best we're going to get is living with Covid the way we live with flu; vaccinating the vulnerable every year, but accepting that some people will die. (Incidentally, I love your line about "some from vaccine reactions, some from Covid". If the number of Covid deaths ever does fall so low that it's comparable to the number of deaths from the Coronavirus vaccines, that would be a massive achievement!) Living with Covid happens when there is enough immunity in the population in general to allow us to crack on with our lives. When we reach that point, there will be no point in checking anybody's immune status, so Covid passes will be a thing of the past. Instead of offering these dire warnings of an authoritarian future in which unvaccinated people are made to wear yellow stars or whatever, just think it through and ask why that would happen: in the post-pandemic world, who would give a shit about whether an individual is vaccinated or not?

Fucking hell, mate, that's terrible. Scotland?

Fucking shit quiz. Bullshit cunts- it's just to gather your IP addresses for Covid vaccines and TLW subs. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Is right mate x have a nice few days and an even better year x x To everyone x x but especially you CS

I've had enough of arguing with you for now, I'm going to see the new year in with my mrs. I suggest you get the band aids and foot pump out and do the same.

Dr Troy is a cunt because I had no idea he'd become Harry Squatter. He cost me two answers. I also pay little attention to much I read on here either.

Jane Seymour today.

Lucy Liu.

I posted a link a few pages back from a professor that studied sudden deaths and collapses in football players from 2014 to 2018. He stated last month that the most recent figures for the last 12 months are comparable with those years, no significant difference either way.

Fuck off Code.

True. And the article also mentions Martin Terrier and Piotr Zielinski. But, doesn't mention that the former had collapsed on the pitch beforehand, in 2020, before vaccines had been rolled out to younger people in France. Or that Zielinski has previously tested positive for Covid, whereas there's no evidence to confirm that he's been vaccinated.

Assume what you want. You weren’t the only one making out they were happy without replacing Gini though. I have no interest whatsoever in discussing football with you and have even less interest in taking forum posting lessons off you. Have a great new year.

So Walton said this didn't get a second look by the ref, because it was so small and needed looking at forensically. The mancs one got looked at again because it was a more obvious incident. So the one where the ref couldn't have seen it the first time, and made his decision based on something he didn't see isn't a clear and obvious error. The other one he got a good look at, made his decision when he saw everything, but VAR makes him look again in slow motion from a select angle. Fucking scumbag cunts

We're too nice and honest for our own good. It's not in Klopp's DNA to be snide and underhand regarding rules.

To me, it’s like the Kane & Robbo incidents from the other week. Like Robbo’s red, I don’t necessarily have a problem with the Silva penalty but VAR can’t intervene in that incident and not the Ederson incident. The lesser fouls were more severely punished.

Is it me or are the bellends commentating as bent / inept as the referee?

I'm far too gone to do this properly, so will have another go when I'm more equipped to answer anything. Actually fuck it, I'll have another go after a smoke. This should reflect people's contribution to the forum. I'd like to think mine is utterly clueless and very, very drunk. And so it shall. In spite of my inevitably pitiful score, this is brilliant @Jennings, massive kudos. You and @Bjornebye's competitions are fantastic, and I really hope people acknowledge your work and neg you when you fall short. Happy New Year to everyone, btw.

I've got the wild-shites and a migraine. Sat here sober as a judge. Still got my family around me and they're all happy - so that makes me happy. Although a gin or two would helped.

Disgrace. This quiz was advertised as being ‘shit’. It was in fact; fun, interesting and something I hope becomes an annual fixture on the GF. @Jennings you are the biggest winner here (especially as I didn’t win the actual quiz). Thanks very much for putting this together.

Too many legends. Not enough questions, mate.

Hoovering earlier and the cord got a bit caught up as I was about to put it away so I gave it a firm flick and the plug reared up and walloped me in the gronckers.

I blitzed through this in a couple of days after getting back to the UK this week. Absolutely brilliant. Nobody does this stuff better than the BBC. I found the way they spoke about each other was fascinating. So guarded, yet so revealing at the same time. Wearing their scars, both physically and in their expressions. Would love to see a follow up where they're actually in the room together going through this stuff. Say what you want about Blair, he's the only politician in this country in the last half century that fucking knew how to beat Tories which, of course, is what actually matters. Iraq, of course, clouds everything, but those 10 years he was in were actually pretty decent in this country, certainly compared to everything that came before and after. His legacy will never recover though. And rightly so. And he knows it. Brown seemed pretty philosophical about it all really. Level headed when he was handed an absolute handful of dogshit by his old mate who knew time was up and doom was imminent. Brown still dwarves any of his successors from an intellectual and political standpoint. Now there's no chance of a Labour win because of all the "centrist this, centrist that" from people who profess to want the tories out at all cost, failing to realise that you have to win at a national level. Then there's that wet blanket in charge now and the Tories seizing the working man's ground via the nationalist agenda. Could do with another pair like these coming through the ranks if anyone is actually serious about getting rid of the Tories beyond "the absolute boy" japes. *awaits shelling*