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Roll up! Roll up! Step up for the TLW competition of the year. A quiz where YOU may be the answer!! It's a quiz about all things TLW. How good is your knowledge of the forum? All questions and answers are to do with legendary posts, posters and moments. Become the envy of the forum by acquiring the title the "Official TLW guru" (previously held by @Chairman Meow -- No pressure, but @Chairman Meow got 100% last time!!!) Prize You can use "Official TLW guru" as your forum-rank/title throughout 2020. Rules • After clicking the link below, you'll need to enter a NickName:- ○ Don't use swear words. The software will change it to something random and I wont be able to work out who you are. ○ Try to make it so I can work out your username from it. Use your forum username if you can. • You only get a limited time (20 secs) to answer each question. • Each question is timed. The faster you answer a question, the more points you score. • Only one entry per forumite. (multiple attempts will be disqualified and you will be lampooned on the forum). ○ If it times-out or crashes or something then by all means have another go. Its just for fun after all. • Jennings' decision is final no matter how drunken/incorrect. Link to Quiz - You can use any browser. I have tested it in Chrome (on an iPhone and a Desktop PC). https://kahoot.it/challenge/0112885?challenge-id=f75d1cf4-9a8d-4e7f-ac44-2592df2c27ed_1640981953705 I am sure there are loads a way to cheat/ruin it - but I've put a load of work in here, so do your best to play in the spirit intended. Good luck!! Please reply in this thread with comments with any feedback/comments/errors/omissions/funnies.16 points
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Monday Dec 27: Guardiola insists fans should wear masks at all times in the stadium. I don’t have any issue with the message (I’ve worn a mask for the entirety of the last two home games) but I sure as hell have a problem with the messenger. When your squad are fully vaccinated then maybe you’re in a position to comment on what the rest of us should do. But he said a couple of weeks ago that some of his players aren’t. They shouldn’t allowed in the stadium then. If we have to have proof of our vaccination status to attend games how come players don’t? His team were 4-0 up after 25 minutes against Leicester yesterday. One of those was a farcical penalty awarded by VAR. Who was the VAR? Paul Tierney. Who was the on field ref? Chris Kavanagh. Two Manchester refs. You couldn’t make this shit up. Last week, when it was us, the bar for how much contact constitutes a penalty kick was so high that Peter Crouch couldn’t reach it. Now, when it’s City, it’s so low that even Bernardo Silva can’t walk under it. It ended up 6-3 and Leicester actually got within a goal of them at one stage, but it’s pretty fucking galling how they’re getting to play against all these weakened opponents and they’ve wiped out our goal difference advantage in about a week. We were nine goals better than them before they played Leeds. Now it’s just a case of us having to keep winning games just to stay with them until they drop points again, which they will. People need to remember that they lost at home to Palace and drew 0-0 with Southampton. They aren’t unstoppable but they are really good front runners. The key to overcoming them is to stay with them when they have these big winning runs. That’s what we have to do, starting with tomorrow night’s game at Leicester. There’s a chance there to not only win, but also win handsomely and claw back some of the damage that’s been done to our goal difference. Leicester will be weakened further tomorrow night as many of their regular starters featured at the Etihad today and will be knackered. They’ve got a few to come back in, but we’ll be full strength and coming off six days rest. Let’s go and fuck them all over the place like we did two years ago when we came back from the World Club Cup. That was one of our best performances under Klopp, so let’s do that again. Staying with Leicester, Ricardo says he’s lucky his season wasn’t needed by that Tyler Morton challenge last week. He fractured his tibia and will miss 6-8 weeks. It was a really bad one and Tyler is lucky there is no VAR in the cup or he’d have seen red and we’d be out. Needs to learn from that. Tuesday Dec 28: Leicester 1 L 0. I’ve said most of what I needed to say in the match report which I wrote right on the final whistle. I don’t usually do that, I like to let a result breathe a bit before writing about it, but sometimes I need to capture the emotion I’m feeling right away. It might be a big win when I’m on a high, or a fucking shitshow like this when I’m so pissed off I need to get everything out there before I go to bed. It took me about two hours to get to sleep after I went to bed tonight. I was fucking fuming and had all sorts of thoughts buzzing around in my head. It’s not often I feel as though we have the right to be angry with this team. They always give us everything they have and even tonight I don’t question the effort. They very rarely let us down but tonight they did. You just can’t lose this game. Can’t do it. It’s unacceptable. Leicester away is a tricky fixture and in normal circumstances I’d shrug this one off. The West Ham defeat hasn’t stayed with me because it can happen. Teams will lose games. City lost at home to Palace. It happens. What can’t happen is losing when you have absolutely every advantage in your favour like we had tonight. You can’t lose to an injury hit, fatigued, makeshift Leicester coming off conceding six at Man City two days ago. You especially can’t do it when you’re basically full strength and fully rested up. You can’t do it. Simple as that. This one won’t go away. I won’t get past it. It’s there for the rest of the season now. Every time I look at the table I’ll think “we should be three points better than this” because we should be. You have to win this game. No two ways about it. I said in the report it’s the worst loss we’ve had under Klopp and I’d bet that he’d agree with that, probably not publicly but I’d bet that privately he feels like this is the most inexcusable, inexplicable loss we’ve had under him. Part of the reason I’m as angry as I am is because I didn’t even contemplate the possibility we wouldn’t win this. I’d already bagged the points and the only question was how many we would score. And we scored fucking none. I can’t believe it. It’s fucking scandalous how shit we were in attack tonight. It reminded me of a game we had a few years ago when the players had been to Dubai or Spain or somewhere for warm weather training after being knocked out of the cup. We came back and looked like dogshit. Same as tonight. We’re fucking crap when we’re rested. We need to play every three or four days because that’s when we have our best rhythm. Mo looked off tonight, Jota wasn’t at it either and Sadio was wasteful as fuck. That chance he wasted was the game’s biggest turning point for me. He’s now in the longest goal drought of his LFC career, which surprised me because it felt like he went three months without a goal last season. This has kind of sneaked up on me because I think he’s been playing pretty well for the most part so I hadn’t noticed that he hadn’t scored. It’s a worry though. Wednesday Dec 29: Friends was on the telly today. I haven’t watched it for years but I loved it back in the day. The affection I had for the other five characters was such that I could overlook how much of an annoying twat Phoebe was. I saw five minutes of it today and that’s no longer the case. The contempt I’ve got for Phoebe outweighs how much I like the others and I realised I can no longer watch it. Not sure where I’m going with that. You might have thought it was a metaphor for something else but it really isn’t. It just popped into my head so I wrote it down because I really don’t want to even be thinking about footy today, let alone writing about it. Although I suppose when you dig deep into it, maybe we're going to reach a stage where I can't watch footy anymore because of what Man City have done to it? Fuck me, I'm in foul form after that game last night. Thursday Dec 30: Garth Crooks picks his team of the year and everyone loses their shit over it. I get it, the team was beyond ridiculous, but this is what he does. Put it this way, if Garth Crooks picked his team of the year and it was full of sensible choices that everyone would agree on, no fucker would be talking about it because who gives a shit about Garth Crooks? He was an average top flight striker in the 1980s, the only thing that keeps him relevant today is being as mad as a box of frogs. The only reason anyone could leave Salah out of a team of the year (let alone in favour of Antonio!) is to create controversy and attract attention. So job done, Garth. We’re approaching January now so expect the rumour mill to go into overdrive. Most of it is bollocks but sites have got to get their clicks and this is the time of year to get them. One name we’ve been linked with is Saka from Arsenal. I mean, as if. Don’t get me wrong, I’d happily have him here, but Arsenal aren’t going to sell and if they do there’s zero chance FSG would pay what it would cost to get him. With players like him, we either get them before they sign a pro deal or we move on to another target. Same with Bellingham. There’s no fucking chance we’ll go and pay £100m or whatever it would cost to get him. The time to get Saka was before he committed to Arsenal. The time to get Bellingham was when he left Birimgham. We tried for both, apparently, so I’m not having a go at anyone here. Just stating the reality of the situation. Even Jarrod Bowen kind of falls into that category. We wanted him last summer but his value will have gone up now as he’s having a good season. I don’t want him for a couple of reasons. One, he doesn’t score enough (although I concede that in a better team like ours that might change) and two, he basically only plays in that right of the front three spot that Mo occupies. He’s only coming in if Mo leaves in my opinion, and that would be…. well I don’t even need to say how deflating that would be. We’re not quite talking Balotelli replacing Suarez but it’s not far off. We’re being linked with some forward from Benfica too. His name has been mentioned a few times recently and there might be something in it, but we never do anything in January so don’t hold your breath on that. Besides, it feels like any forward we get linked with is going to be a replacement for someone leaving. Bobby is the obvious one but his value has plummeted. Sadio really ought to be looking over his shoulder based on the last 12 months, but until Mo signs that deal the fear is always going to be that he’s the one who will go and we’ll tie Sadio and Bobby down to new deals, which frankly would be depressing as fuck. Things were ticking along swimmingly but all of a sudden everything feels a bit shit right now after dropping five points in two games, players getting covid or injured or about to fuck off to AFCON and our domestic season seemingly heading into a make or break territory over the next few weeks. Announcing a new deal for Mo would give everyone a much needed lift. Meanwhile, Lukaku has gone after Tuchel in an interview with Sky Italia. Tuchel himself has responded saying he isn’t happy about it and it’s "created a noise they can do without". Ain’t that just great. Nailed on Lukaku winner followed by running to the bench to embrace Tuchel this Sunday then. Ok, now this sounds much more like an FSG transfer. Frank Kessie on a free from Milan. His contract is up this summer and we’re said to be leading the chase. I think he’s shite based on the two games he played against us but that’s no real barometer of a player as we can be really hard to look good against. We can dream of Jude Bellingham but we’re much more likely to get a deal like this. And in theory that’s fine, I love a good Bosman deal. Joel Matip is one hell of a player and he cost us fuck all. Milner too (although his wages were massive at the time). So if we can pick up another one or two like Joel then great, especially now we seem to have reached a point where we just aren’t going to spend any fucking money at all. Friday Dec 31: So three more cases (rumoured to be Alisson, Bobby and Joel or Naby) plus Thiago, Taki and Divock all still injured. This period we’re in now is going to fuck our league campaign up big time. The Leicester loss is 100% self inflicted but the points dropped at Spurs (and probably this Sunday) are mostly down to circumstances, and that Leeds game being called off worked out terribly for us. Meanwhile, City are the only club seemingly unaffected by it. Why is that? Just lucky, or something more sinister? If it was anyone else you’d say it was luck but with them you never know do you? Klopp mentioned it today in his presser but it was done in a completely innocent way and he wasn’t implying anything. Didn’t stop City twitter from going for him though, the fucking twats. I stumbled across all kinds of shit because I typed in “Man City COVID” to see if any of their players had it. There was nothing about that, but loads of sinister shite from them about how Klopp is wishing City players would get COVID. Usually I ignore all the shite I see on twitter but one thing in particular really bothered me as it was such a cunty thing to be suggesting. Some fucking twat in Nigeria who claims to support City and Barcelona made a crack about it. She had six thousand odd followers, most of whom have probably never touched a woman so they followed her in the hope of getting some interaction with a female for the first time in their lives. Sad cunts. Klopp implied nothing about City but if this carries on with them being completely unaffected then questions are going to need to be asked about it. Are they testing everybody daily, and if they are, are they ignoring the results as long as there are no symptoms? If that’s the case will anyone even give a fuck or will a blind eye be turned just like with the financial shenanigans? The EFL have said today they are no longer forcing clubs to test their players because there are too many games being called off. The PL will follow suit, but the question I would have is are City already doing that? Because how the fuck are they not having anyone test positive? Something stinks. 2021 can fuck right off but there’s absolutely nothing to suggest that 2022 will get any better. I’m not specifically talking footy there either, it’s more of general ‘state of the world’ thing. But yeah, City’s owners are ruining footy in the same way that other rich cunts are ruining the rest of the world, for their own personal gain. Happy New Year? Yeah I fucking doubt it. ….and that was the week that was.9 points
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New Year hangover remedy - fried bread under the abundant mushrooms (cooked 5 minutes to stop them getting mushy). Shame I left the bacon in too long, but otherwise quite nice. Black pudding was crispy on the outside and soft inside. If I hadn't farted around with that then the bacon might not have suffered. Apologies in advance to Tony - as a fellow tomato afficionado - we only had those little salad tomatoes left, so they kind of disintegrated (but they at least had a relationship with a hot pan). Anyway, let the blood-letting commence:9 points
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It’s a cunt. Never thought I would be that fella but it got me. The wife cheated on me with her ex on Facebook and it turned me into a paranoid loon. He lived in America but it stung me to the point I went into a downward spiral. Been on setraline but now live in scotland and have no family or close friends around me… been a rough 6 months but I’m starting to come out the other end. Still have really bad days but my little girl keeps me going. Had some days I really didn’t want to go on. It really does get better… just stick in there9 points
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I really fucking appreciate that, mate. TBH, I was worried about the blog question and that one about the 'fat Tory cunt' because I didn't want it to be 'divisive' about any posters - all who make this a great place to hang out. I hope the fella in the other question appreciates it was meant to be wholesome/inclusive.7 points
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Thanks for all the good wishes folks, I'm away for a few days with the wife and my girls (the lad decided he'd stay home and dog mind). I spoke to my GP today and we've decided to increase my medication for a start and then see where we are in a month. Fingers crossed I'm on the right road! Happy New Year all.7 points
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All we need to do is throw a list of ‘injuries’ at the PL and 'close' the training ground.....but we are not that type of club it seems. We're the biggest fucking mugs around. Just say that Klopp has been in close contact with everyone and that some of them need to isolate. Just push hard to get it called off. We won't of course. We're too nice on and off the field.6 points
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Best/worst of 1991 Film: Point Break TV Programme: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Best Album: Now That’s What I Call Music! 20 Fittest Bird: Sammy Rogers (Rachael Lindsay) Fiitest Bloke: Patrick Swayze Best Moment: Completing Streets of Rage on the Mega Drive Worst Moment: Mark Fowler revealing he is HIV-positive6 points
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More depressing is that most people don't give a fuck because they're just happy someone other than us or United (and probably even Chelsea) are winning it. They're letting that cloud their judgement as to what City are doing and how genuinely horrific it is for everyone. They're ruining the game in this country and most people are refusing to see it.5 points
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Other than the ones today: - Clear penalty for Liverpool (Emerson on Jota) not given, Spurs v Liverpool - Clear red card not given (Kane on Robertson), Spurs v Liverpool - Clear penalty for Newcastle (Ederson on Fraser) not given, Newcastle v Man City - Match-winning penalty given for "handball" that struck Moutinho on the side, Man City v Wolves and this is just in the last three weeks or so4 points
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It's more the blatant penalty Arsenal didn't get in the first half. The ref not even being told to review it like City's Pen. As I said weeks ago the refs in the PL are having more effect on results than the actual teams playing.3 points
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Dr Troy/@Harry Squatter has ruined 2022 already!3 points
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One time I had some really troublesome symptoms - I won't go into detail but blood, snot and pain weren't even the worst among them. I went to google and there was a post from someone with exactly the same symptoms. I mean inconclusively exactly the fucking same. The post wasn't the first in the thread and I didn't read the previous ones. I didn't need to. This poster had exactly the same symptoms. The reply to this post was from a medical expert sharing his prognosis. My head swam as I read the words (I am paraphrasing as this was ages ago)..."I am sorry to report to you that this is certainly 'longus-latinus-name-us' and is always fatal within three months. I honestly felt like I was gonna burst into tears. I didn't need to read on, but for some reason I did... "...but don't worry. Your rabbit cannot pass this disease to humans." That was the day I learned not to google my symptoms. No rabbits were harmed in the making of this post3 points
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One thing I've learned the hard way with all this is that the internet is not your friend. I can't stress that enough. Doctors are trained to interpret all the factors (symptoms, likelihood, other factors like age etc) the internet isn't and invariably defaults to the worst case scenario. My philosophy these days is if it's worrying me go the docs, if not don't. Old school.3 points
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City are sky sports new 90s United. They want a money no object brand who can sign the worlds best players to boost viewing figures. Corrupt oil cunts, I hope we win the league cup.3 points
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Officials to City's rescue again. Focus on the European Cup, this league is bent.3 points
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I’m fairly convinced that’s how my lad got it. Family member tested negative on day 6 and 7, then came for Xmas. I’m not particularly fucking pleased as I much as said this would happen and the guidance seems to suggest you should still limit contact even after negative days on 6 and 7. I’d imagine no one is, they just take the green light. We’re on day 5 here (accounting that the day you test positive is day 0), all negative tests for those who tested negative on PCR so far. Eldest lad will do his day 6 tomorrow, so fingers crossed as he’s climbing the walls and could go to school next week if he tests negative twice before Tuesday.3 points
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That's not where this is heading. The best we're going to get is living with Covid the way we live with flu; vaccinating the vulnerable every year, but accepting that some people will die. (Incidentally, I love your line about "some from vaccine reactions, some from Covid". If the number of Covid deaths ever does fall so low that it's comparable to the number of deaths from the Coronavirus vaccines, that would be a massive achievement!) Living with Covid happens when there is enough immunity in the population in general to allow us to crack on with our lives. When we reach that point, there will be no point in checking anybody's immune status, so Covid passes will be a thing of the past. Instead of offering these dire warnings of an authoritarian future in which unvaccinated people are made to wear yellow stars or whatever, just think it through and ask why that would happen: in the post-pandemic world, who would give a shit about whether an individual is vaccinated or not?3 points
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Fucking shit quiz. Bullshit cunts- it's just to gather your IP addresses for Covid vaccines and TLW subs. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.3 points
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Is right mate x have a nice few days and an even better year x x To everyone x x but especially you CS3 points
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I've had enough of arguing with you for now, I'm going to see the new year in with my mrs. I suggest you get the band aids and foot pump out and do the same.3 points
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Dr Troy is a cunt because I had no idea he'd become Harry Squatter. He cost me two answers. I also pay little attention to much I read on here either.3 points
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The first game of the new year, and it’s taken on more significance that it had prior to the Leicester game. That damp squib has raised (or re-raised) many questions. We are nowhere near as bad as an England test batting line-up but we did a passable impression of Joe Root’s hapless Ashes XI by shitting down our own leg. That needs to be eradicated, pronto, as we will be without 2 of our 3 best attackers for the best part of a month after this game. What do we need? Grit. Heart. Organisation. Strength. Tactical flexibility. Give no quarter. Offensive cohesion. Ability. Luck. I don’t ask for much. We had all of that in abundance in May 1986. A squad that had looked second best to Everton until around March was now in a position where they could reclaim the league title at the expense of their neighbours. And there was still an FA Cup final to come against Howard Kendall’s men. But first there was the small matter of seeing the job through against a Chelsea team led by John Hollins, and with the prolific Kerry Dixon up front. See it through we most certainly did. Whelan miscued a shot from the edge of the area. It bounced off a Chelsea player back to the Irishman, who leapt to flick the ball on. Skippy was in attendance, volleying the ball over the back of the Chelsea defence to The King. He chested the ball down and smacked it past the goalkeeper. Now that we had the lead, it didn’t matter what Everton did in their match (they and Lineker were swatting Southampton aside at the Boo Camp) as long as we held on. Joyous scenes greeted the final whistle, and it’s one of my abiding memories of watching footage of that era, seeing Kenny sitting in the dressing room afterwards just taking it all in. His first season as player-manager and he was about to deliver the club’s first league and cup double. Incidentally, I always found Stamford Bridge to be a weird ground as the used the areas behind the goals as a car park. Normally you’d only see a vehicle near the playing surface at cavernous concrete bowls behind the Iron Curtain, and it was usually a police van with an officer stationed beside it holding an AK-47 in one hand, and a leash affixed to a rabid Alsatian who was going mental at the supporters behind a fence in the other. The surprise box office hit at the beginning of May 1986 was a fictional (or maybe semi-biographical) story called Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling, starring the legendary Richard Pryor. It’s about a young man trying to make it as a stand-up comedian while snorting and freebasing shitloads of Colombian marching powder and shagging hewwers. So real-life then. It even includes a scene where his character burns himself while freebasing, which is something that happened to Pryor himself. I hadn’t even heard of this film until researching for this themed series of match Ops, but I am very familiar with some of his stand-up and his acting career. He was a crazy bastard but one of the funniest people around. A lot of the jokes from Live In Concert would not fly in this PC-woke word we live in today, but they are still incredibly funny. That story about the Chinese restaurant will bring you to tears! This is our last game before our African contingent fly out to Cameroon for the AFCON. Money is the only reason for holding it every 2 years. Shit, when several influential people are pushing for an even bigger money spinner in the World Cup to be held every 2 years, of course the continental federations like CAF are going to push for more regular international competitions on their continent. Jurgen has already had his say on the matter. We need to be avoiding the sloppiness that has characterised our play in a number of games this season. We need to be effective in the middle of the park, attacking and defending. We also need to be more ruthless in the final third. We can do it. We know we can do it. We just have to go out there and do it. A result at Stamford Bridge has previously led to great things for us. Make it so again.2 points
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It’s actually fucking disgraceful, the integrity of the league is completely gone now, letting City build up a massive lead while we piece together depleted sides. Fuck off, we’re at a massive disadvantage as it is.2 points
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Assume what you want. You weren’t the only one making out they were happy without replacing Gini though. I have no interest whatsoever in discussing football with you and have even less interest in taking forum posting lessons off you. Have a great new year.2 points
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It’s a crying shame that the FA Cup isn’t what it was. There really needs to be some kind of additional incentive. A year’s supply of gift vouchers for The Lobster Pot, perhaps.2 points
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So a red card and a pen in City's favour eh? I don't want to sound like a bloo, but this kind of shit is happening quite often isn't it? It will be like the Scottish Prem soon, it's almost there already. Give it a few seasons, we'll be back in mid table, Abramovich will be bored with Chelsea, and it'll just be Abu Dhabi v Saudi Arabia in the race for the title every single season.2 points
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So Walton said this didn't get a second look by the ref, because it was so small and needed looking at forensically. The mancs one got looked at again because it was a more obvious incident. So the one where the ref couldn't have seen it the first time, and made his decision based on something he didn't see isn't a clear and obvious error. The other one he got a good look at, made his decision when he saw everything, but VAR makes him look again in slow motion from a select angle. Fucking scumbag cunts2 points
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He's like that bloke from the Fast Show who can't make his mind up. He's praised the ref then just said the ref has lost it. A man in perpetual conflict with his own half baked opinions.2 points
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I want to strangle Steve McManaman with his own intestines. Somebody shut that fucking clown up.2 points
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I got two mentions as possible answers, it felt like a kind of acceptance.2 points
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Can’t see Kylie, Liz, Rita, Katy and my missus all agreeing to take part in a birthday gangbang but hey who knows. Happy New Year to you all.2 points
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