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Choosing the right queue at the supermarket checkouts, then gliding through at a faster pace than someone who arrived at the same time. It's a skill; you can't just look at length, you have to take into account items, type of shopper, likelihood of bag faff and coupon use. All scanned like Robocop in a split second.

Another international break completely killing the momentum of the club season. International breaks are far too frequent these days, and the recent ones have the adding 'bonus' of scheduling combined with quarantine regulations seeing to it that many players will be missing. Not just for us, but for a number of clubs. In what way is it right that FIFA, UEFA, the Premier League and the national associations have a greater say than the clubs who pay players' wages, the coaches who are unable to prepare effectively, or the players who just don't get a breather? How stupid is it to schedule a lunchtime fixture on a Saturday after an international break? Anyway: Intelligence. Moxie. Skill. Tenacity. Ingenuity. Luck. Life. Superiority. Talent. Accuracy. Nous. Drive. Instinct. Nerve. Gumption. I don't ask for much (and even less than usual given the circumstances). Our last appearance in this fixture was just before the pandemic hit in early 2020. While we'd continued to rack up wins over the preceding week, we weren't looking anywhere near as assured and full of beans as earlier in the season. It came to a head in this fixture when a disastrous second half performance saw us on the end of a 3-0 hiding that was fully merited. Ismaila Sarr bagged a couple, and Troy Deeney with his bee-stung face got the other. We were uncharacteristically sloppy defensively and uncharacteristically impotent up front. It was the start of a mini-slump that led to us being knocked out of Europe and the FA Cup within the next fortnight. The lockdown, while frustrating and with the possibility of null and void being shouted loudly by voices that couldn't give a shit about public health and were more concerned about us running away with the league, at least gave the players a chance to recalibrate. That first lockdown gave everybody time to think. Well, at least those who remained personally unaffected by the pandemic. Back in the days when fixture congestion seemed to be less of an issue, and the only pandemic talk was by people scared that HIV and AIDS would become too prevalent to control, Liverpool's new-look attack of Aldo, Barnesy and Beardo travelled to Vicarage Road in mid-February 1988 to take on a team that had recently sacked their manager. Dave Bassett had been booted out with the club bottom of the league and heading for the drop. They'd fallen away significantly since the Graham Taylor era. Selling Barnes was undoubtedly a factor, but I doubt even they knew his game would go up several levels following his move to Merseyside. Digger was the best player in the country by a mile at the time, which is saying a lot since the players around him were no slouches. We were absolutely flying in the league and dismantled the Hornets 4-1 on an absolute quagmire of a pitch where all the available grass was between the touchline and the stands. Beardsley fired in the opener, Aldridge bundled in the second, Beardsley dribbled around the keeper for the third, and Barnes scored the 4th against his old club with a close range finish after the ball was nodded down to him just inside the six yard box. There was time for a consolation from Luther Blissett, but Watford had been well and truly outclassed by us. They weren't the first and they wouldn't be the last in 1987/88. Or the Eighties in general for that matter. The big draw at the box office in February 1988 was Good Morning, Vietnam, starring Robin Williams on top form and directed by Barry Levinson, who would go on to make Rain Man the following year. Williams had a gift for delivering funny and poignant in the same role, and this time he played a DJ for the Armed Forces Radio Service, trying to deliver news, comedy and music to entertain the troops in Saigon, going against the wishes of some of his superiors who didn't like his attitude and casual insubordination ("You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history"). For the audience (and the grunts on the front line) he was easy to warm to and side with as he balanced trying to do his job and see the humanity in the 'enemy'. It's part of a slew of 'Nam-set films released from the mid-80s onwards, a lot of which were of extremely high quality. War films in general, when the story is interesting, told well and with amazing cinematography, can still be utterly compelling. Anyway, back to Watford. New manager bounce incoming? It's generally hard to tell but the combination of new manager up against a Liverpool team missing a number of players, playing after an international break and in an early kick-off is what twats like Jake Humphrey would be only to happy to wank off to live on air. We just need to dig deep, do what we are well capable of, and get the result. Dilly Ding Dilly Dong should just be the advertising slogan for a Saigon bank, not a manager the English media have a real love-in for.

This country has been fucked for a long time & will only get worse. Too many thick working class cunts voting Tory. Labour being finished as a political party doesn't help. The left and centre left faction has grown too wide and has basically split the party. Starmer is a pathetic spineless wanker who in opposition to the worst government in the history of the country has done nothing to expose them. He must be a fucking shit lawyer as well as anyone with half a brain in his position could have the majority of the government on criminal charges. The lies, deceit and money laundering is plain to see - there's a clear paper trail.

Joy Divisions, Radiohead, Prince, The Smiths and Elvis Costello are seriously, seriously bad shouts.

1- Bon Jovi 2- Jon Bon Jovi 3 - Richie Sambora 4- Bon Jovi Experience (God help us all) 5- Coldplay

I saw him years ago in Manchester, on a double bill with Ray Charles. Jesus, he was shite. Every song was the same boring, noodling nothingness, with an obligatory bass solo, then a Georgie Fame organ solo, then a guitar solo, then a bit of a drum solo. The same fucking formula, repeated again and again and again. Worst of all, I had to leave before Ray Charles (who was brilliant) finished, because that flaccid old snooze-button had wasted so much time.

2) Devizes?

Burn this thread!

Hey ! Get your own gimmick, buddy.

Haha! They fucking were! So it's a guy I've been in the same building on and off for a few months and I knew he was English, but never really spoken to him as he's standoffish and seemed a bit of a prick and I don't need that in my life so always swerved him until today. Massive chip on his shoulder, huge, gigantic. I shan't be speaking further and will be issuing orders that make his day more unbearable forthwith...

"Managed to avoid eating the poison that the groundskeeper put down for me. Narrow squeak with a gin trap. It's a great week and I feel lots of energy, but that might just be from the wires I chewed through."

Just when you thought no one could come in with a worse take - Stronts delivers

My blow up doll girlfriend is made of less plastic than Staveley.

No point in wasting your time. There's just going to be more shifting of the goalposts. First, it was hydroxychloroquin that would do the trick. Then it was ivermectin. Now it's simple multivitamins that can prevent the adverse effects of Covid. I follow one loon on social media that functions as my view into the Covid conspiracy world and every day he's been putting up pictures of vitamin D or zinc every day as if he's the first one to discover them. The latest theory is the vaccine is poison and will kill those who take it in two years for the purposes of population control. I'll bet every cent I have I'll still be alive and he'll still be on the dole and living at home with his parents well into his thirties. There'll never be any admission the vaccines are extremely safe and effective and by far the best bet for protecting yourself.

1) Ayr

I think the Two Tone bands did most of this.

Yes.

Starmer watching another opportunity to hammer the fuck out of the corrupt tories pass him by

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/chris-eubank-boxer-louis-vuitton-bag-stolen-edgware-road-west-london-b960214.html " Mr Eubank’s bag contained personal items including a bandana he wore in the jungle on ITV’s I’m a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! and ID for his role as a city marshal in Opelousas, Louisiana. There was also a quarter bar of Waitrose Belgian chocolate with hazelnuts. “That’s what’s really messed up my day,” he added. “It’s been in there for six days just ready to eat. I like it at that temperature and they took it."

I know Lawro is a whopper but he was a Rolls Royce of a defender. Hansen and him remain (for me) our greatest CB pairing.

Not a patch on the 'Fuck & Run' back alley behind the bus depot in Hull.

Just not players…

The Derby in 2001. Easter Monday night at 5.30. Managed to get a ticket from Everton without registering with them and picked it up from their ticket office next to the ground which was basically a portakabin in the Park End. Took a risk going in their end but decided to keep quiet as much as possible in the lower Bullens. Loads of their fans booed and shouted murderers throughout the minutes silence as it was the closest game to the Hillsborough anniversary. Despite trying to keep my head down some lad I went to college with was sat about 6 seats away and shouted "what tye fuck are you doing in here you kopite twat". I walked over to him.and politely told him I'd knock him out if he shouted anything like that again. Luckily no one around was listening. Not even the two old dears who had butties, a coffee flask and a rosette each which said "I hate Emlyn Hughes" Never been at a game with such a poisonous atmosphere and it is definitely not the friendly Derby anymore, was definitely not then. Managed to keep my composure when Mcallister scored the winner. They went mental as they thought he had moved the ball about 20 yards forward and from where I sat it looked like the ball skimmed off the turf about 3 times before the net bulged. Put my hands over my face because I was about to shout out and then started laughing. One bitter who was about 6 ft 5 came up to me and patted me in the back thinking I was crying and said "don't worry lad we'll beat them redshite bastards one day". The lad from my college walked sheepishly up to me and apologised to me. Saw one Liverpool fan who was goading the Evertonians get filled in and went back to the pub that is now the Glenbuck Hotel and there were a couple of skirmishes outside there. Went into town and met my Evertonian mate who was pissed off. He ended up shagging some big fat munter from Huddersfield which made him doubt depressed the day after. Went to a Sportsman's dinner a few years ago and Gary McCallister signed my match ticket. He said "you took a chance going in there didn't you?". I said he could have got me killed and he laughed saying it was bad enough walking off the pitch at the end.

Posted this on the space thread. Another reason why I can't understand people who despise twitter. Hard not to love Shatner,

Not really an away trip, but I was fortunate enough to be in Kiev in August 2006 when our away game vs Maccabi was relocated something like a week before. I could not believe my luck. Ukraine being Ukraine, a friend of mine got me an accreditation as a photographer so I could be on the pitch. That was great but I could not be that lucky , I got sick and was not feeling that well during the game, and I could not even show up at the post match press conference. I guess that was the price to pay for having bought a half- half scarf … Still, attending a Liverpool European away against an Israeli team while on vacations In Kiev, that was good, wasn’t it ?

There are so many bad shouts in this thread I can't even be mad. It's like a support group for the terminally wrong.

Can I chuck in Gerry Cinnamon? Just don't get it.

This artist had a chance to immortalise Stevie and clearly has some artistic talent, and yet he's tried to morph him into 1970s Jimmy Hill and chosen an image of him from his last season (when we had that terrible Warrior kit) rather than 2005-2010 peak Stevie. It's like that fella who was commissioned to produce a bust of the Portuguese preener and created something that looked more like the head from Art Attack.

I wouldn't bum him or get bummed by him but he's boss. The Jam are superb and I like The Style Council and his solo stuff too.

Mumford & Sons - This is what happens when you give the keys to the castle to a bunch of blokes that look like they should be making artisan bread in a bakery in Devon.

You sir, can fuck right off, that's fucking blasphemy!

Pink Floyd Genesis Yes Muse Eagles

The Clash Joy Division Bruce Springsteen Queen The Killers

Bagging? What like, bag over the head, wallop! "get in the van"?

Should have done Due Diligence on the surgeon.

Looks like I have missed it out. That song gets a bye to the next round, my fuck up.

I had this at the weekend, was in the Asda last week and myself and a woman were heading down the same aisle towards the checkouts and she cuts in front and pips me to the checkout in which there is already a guy with a small basket waiting to be served, I go to the next one along which is another guy halfway through loading his weekly shop on the belt. This guy in front of me must have been ex-military the way he loaded his stuff and had all his bags sorted and in place so they're were bagged up in no time and off he went. So I'm now getting sorted and I look to the left and the woman who cut me up was still waiting to load her stuff on the belt because the guy in front had something that wouldn't scan and the operator had to push that button to get a colleague to come over then go and search for another of the same item so they could scan it. Almost wanted to moonwalk along the shiny smooth floor out of the store once I'd paid and the other lady was still stood waiting.

Were the first two sentences about why they've been shite for the 30 years since the ban ended?

“With my man Shearer” best line ever.

This is your occasional reminder that Merseyside Fans Supporting Foodbanks had to send Manchester foodbanks food during the pandemic crisis because they couldn’t feed their own people.