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And then there were four. No surprises in the quarterfinals although maybe some people expected Belgium to go through rather than Italy. That was a toss of a coin game on paper but the other three fixtures had clear favourites who all progressed. I’ll start with Italy because they’re my boys. I’ve wanted them to reach the final since day one and it’s only partly because of the anthem. Ok, it’s a bit fucking part, but still, I have enjoyed watching them and they’ve been the best team in the tournament so far (I can’t count England in that as I’ve only seen them play once). Mancini’s side put on a masterclass against Belgium. The first half was a brilliant game of footy and the second half was a defensive clinic from Bonucci and Chiellini. Combined age of 70, absolutely no frills about either of them. Absolute throwbacks. I fucking love them both, but especially Chiellini. What a guy. As they were getting ready for the anthem he just had a massive grin on his face in anticipation. He loves it. Almost as much as I do. I rewound it and watched it four times, belting it out along with my Azurri boys. It’s just fucking boss, I can’t get enough of it and Chiellini has proven to be a worthy successor to Buffon. On the subject of national anthems though that’s just reminded me of a clip I saw the other day. I was down a Maradona rabbit hole on youtube again and it threw up a clip of the anthem before the 1990 World Cup Final. Argentina had beaten Italy in the semi final and Maradona had become public enemy number one over there. When the Argentina anthem was played before the final, the Italians in the crowd were booing and whistling it, and Diego was fucking livid. While his team-mates tried to sing above the din, he was stood there seething and shouting “sons of whores!!” at the crowd. I fucking love him. Anyway, Bonucci thought he’d given Italy a dream start early on but it was ruled out for offside. I’m not sure that would be offside without VAR as I doubt the linesman would have been able to see it with the naked eye. Chiellini was offside but didn’t touch it, so they couldn’t rule it out for that. Bonucci is onside from the free-kick and finishes it off, but it’s only on the replay you can it brushes off Di Lorenzo just before it reaches him, rendering him offside. I doubt if any linesman could have spotted that in real time though. It was a lively start to the game and Donarruma made great saves to deny De Bruyne and Lukaku as Belgium looked dangerous on the counter attack. Italy weren’t playing it cagey at all though and the first half was end to end, pulsating stuff. It was Barella who broke the deadlock with a lovely goal. Quick feet and a great finish. Insigne doubled their lead with a typical Insigne goal. Cutting in from the left and bending one into the corner. Haven’t the Belgians ever seen him play before? That’s like allowing Sterling to score from a yard out, or going within five feet on Kane in the box. Naive as fuck. Belgium were given a lifeline with an incredibly soft penalty in first half stoppage time. It’s one that you can give as there’s a bit of a nudge there, but it’s also one that you really shouldn’t give as there’s fuck all in it. Robbo does that all the time so they better not start giving pens for it. In terms of the spectacle it was a good decision as it got Belgium back in it and set the second half up perfectly. It wasn’t as entertaining but it was a fascinating, tense half of football. Italy defended masterfully but Lukaku still had two incredible chances he failed to take. At the other end Spinazzola almost scored one of the goals of the tournament from an exquisite Insigne pass. Belgium threw everything they had at the Italians and Doku was a constant menace, but Italy just managed the game superbly, wasting time when they needed to, taking the sting out of it and they deservedly went through. I’m made up, I buzz off the Italians and Immobile’s impressive show of shithousery after the first goal was the icing on the cake for me. He’s wanting a penalty (and should have got it as it was a foul), rolls around on the floor when he didn’t get it, play goes on, Italy score and he gets up and runs off to celebrate with the goalscorer. Utterly shameless. Suarez-esque that was. It was also seeing Bonucci and Chiellini basically in the crowd at the end, hugging all of the fans. It won’t be so funny if they test positive for Covid this week. Not sure how smart that was really. The only negative for Italy was a bad injury for the brilliant Spinazzola. He’s out for the rest of the tournament (and a long time after that too) and was in tears as he left on a stretcher with a ruptured achilles. Hate to see that, as him and Maehle have been the two best full backs in the tournament. Both right footers playing on the left too. Where are all the left footers? So Italy progress and Belgium’s ‘golden generation’ look like they’re going the same way as the England one - trophyless. Much was made of them being the number one team in the world but world rankings in footy count for absolutely fuck all. The Martinez PR machine has used that as some kind of proof that he’s a good coach but he’s not. He’s not hopeless by any means, but he might be the luckiest coach in the world to have found himself in that job after doing fuck all at Everton. Be interesting to see which gullible fucker hires him next. Unless Belgium let him stay on of course, which they shouldn’t. They’ve probably got one more big tournament with that squad before it needs breaking up, so do they really want to pin their last shot on Martinez? Doku looked class. We’ve been tracking him for a few years and almost signed him when he was 15 and then again last year, so it will be interesting to see if we make a move this summer or not. He’s exciting, really skilful, but his goal record is appalling at this point. You’d think it will improve as he gains more experience though and if we could get him in to replace Origi then I’d take that in a heartbeat. Italy will now face Spain after scruff bag Luis Enrique’s men overcame Switzerland on penalties. They were far from impressive though, despite being helped by some typically shite Premier League refereeing. Alba’s deflected shot put Spain in front but Switzerland grew into the game and had several chances to equalise before Shaq scored his third of the tournament to level things up. Lots of talk of about whether we’ll be able to sell him and how much we could get for him. I get that because he’s not really much use to us given that Klopp would seemingly rather cut off his own cock than give the little man a run in the side. If we don’t sell him though, here’s a novel thought; fucking play him, he makes things happen. The game was in the balance at this point but then Freuler was sent off by Michael Oliver and frankly it was a fucking pathetic decision. He got the ball and it wasn’t two footed. Even allowing for this shitty “no follow through” rule change that’s still a poor decision and the Swiss were really hard done by there. Premier League cunt refs. Being down to ten ended their attacking threat but Switzerland defended heroically and Sommer made a couple of great saves to take it to pens. They’d beaten France in a shootout so should have been confident, but their penalties looked hesitant and nervy. Spain’s weren’t great either for that matter. I always expect Spain to bottle it on pens and when Busquets missed the opener that’s how it looked to be headed. They’d missed six pens in a row at that point. Incredible ineptitude. The Swiss scored their first but that was as good as it got for them. Olmo lashed one into the top corner and then Simon made a good save. Sommer saved from Rodri (Man City twat) but then Simon saved another. Moreno scored, Vargas smashed over the bar and Oyarzabal won it for the Spanish. Vargas was distraught and Thiago spurned the Spanish celebrations to go over and console him. Thiago is just such a fucking alpha. Not in an aggressive, hard man type of way, but just in how he carries himself. He’s the fucking man. Proper Don. He commands respect as he’s just cool as fuck. Hopefully Italy can overcome Spain but my gut tells me it’ll be 0-0 and Spain will scrape through on pens. My gut told me Wales would beat Denmark though, so that is in Italy’s favour at least. Speaking of Denmark, they went through against the plucky Czechs. Thomas Delaney headed them into an early lead from a corner that was probably a goal kick. It may have just taken a nick off the defender but it wasn’t definitive on the camera angles they showed. The Czechs weren’t happy about it but it’s one of those things. VAR can’t get involved in shit like that or games would last four hours. Dolberg made it 2-0 with a back post volley from a fucking stunning cross by my boy Maehle. I’ve seen enough now. He’s boss, get him in to provide cover for both full back spots. Sell Neco and Kostas to fund it if need be. That goal came a bit against the run of play as the Czechs had been doing quite well. They deservedly pulled one back through Schick (who else) but Denmark held out fairly comfortably and could have increased their lead if they’d been a bit more clinical. They’re well organised and have some good players even if there are no stars. They might feel like they’re a team of destiny like in 1992 when they won it. I hope so. Even though I’m rooting for Italy I’d be happy to see Denmark win it. Shit, I don’t even begrudge Spain winning it. Any of those three will do. If you’re wanting my thoughts on the England game then you’re going to be disappointed. I went to play golf just so I could get away from it completely. I knew the score because the little Englanders in the group chat were creaming themselves over Razza, Hazza and the rest, but there’s no way I was going to watch any highlights of it or write anything after they won. Fuck that. This shit is stressing me out and honestly, I’d rather Everton win a trophy than England. My logic there is I’d rather see 40,000 cunts happy than a few million of them. Some of you may think I’m being a knobhead and you’d like England to win. That’s fine, each to their own, but next season when some gobshite fans from London, the Midlands, Newcastle, Manchester or wherever are singing “sign on” or “always the victim” remember that you were standing shoulder to shoulder with them, and ‘Boris’ and Peter Shilton and Priti Patel. Not for me. I’m comfortable in my “fuck England” skin. I still remember Stoke fans signing “you let your country down” at Stevie, let alone Joe Gomez getting booed at Wembley for being assaulted by Sterling. There isn’t a single good reason anyone can give me as to why I should support them. “You’re English” isn’t a reason. Hendo scored. I’m happy he’s happy but it’s no consolation to me. My love for Hendo doesn’t outweigh the disdain I’ve got for the fans and half the team. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I’m wanting a team with Jordan Pickford in it to win anything. Fuck everyone who isn’t us. I don’t want England fans celebrating anything. I want them crying into their pints after having their hearts ripped out again in a semi final. If that makes me petty, bitter, unpatriotic or whatever else you might want to throw at me, sound, I don’t care. I’ll happily wear all of those hats. So come on Denmark, let’s do it for Eriksen!