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Monday May 31: Aguero “We all know that Barcelona are the best club in the world. I think I made a great decision to be here and of course it is a step forward in my career.” The disrespect there. Fucking hell. There’s not too much wrong with what he said, but his seat in the Man City dressing room isn’t even cold yet and he’s shitting on them like that. Reminds me a little of when Owen joined United and was giving it the “I always wanted to play here for Sir Alex” even though it was an absolute lie and he turned them down several times when he was a kid. It was a complete lack of regard for our feelings though, and I expect City fans feel slighted by this. Although maybe not as the only thing those sad cunts have shown any kind of passion about in years was that bottle of ale that hit their bus. Aguero is their greatest ever player, they’ve paid him a fucking boatload of cash (most of it off the books) and he could have asked to leave for Barca at any point. He didn’t though, he only signed for ‘the best club in the world’ when City decided they didn’t want to pay him any more. Little fucking prick. Fuck him, fuck City and fuck Barcelona. Meanwhile, bit demoralising that I’m reading talk of how VAR can be improved. No. Just no. Never mind trying to improve it, just FUCKING GET RID. Trying to improve it. Fucking hell. You don’t try and fix a car while it’s on the motorway. All these VAR issues should have been sorted before it was ever implemented. We’ve had two years of this shit and the second year was massively WORSE than the first. Everyone hates it. Managers, players, fans. You literally do not hear any manager or player saying they like it, but lots have said they can’t stand it, so why is this still a thing? I’ll tell you why, because managers, players and fans do fuck all except moan about it. Instead of that, we should all be joining forces to get this shit scrapped. It isn’t on the fans to do it though, this is something players and managers should lead the way with. If they all went on strike until VAR was fucked off, the fans would be behind it and the authorities would shit themselves and bin it in a heartbeat, because what choice would they have? It won’t happen though, we’ll just have the likes of Dean Smith, Nuno Holy Spirit (if he takes another job), Kloppo, Milner, Moyes, Dyche and others making great points about how shit it is and how they’d rather not have it, and fuck all will change. They’re killing footy with this shit. I renewed my season ticket last week but my Dad has called it quits. There are a few reasons for it but the first thing he’ll say is VAR and how it just isn’t the same anymore. He’s watched footy his whole life and has been going to Anfield since the late 50s. He’s seen all sorts of changes to the game and although he didn’t like a lot of them he rolled with it and it didn’t ruin his enjoyment. Until VAR. He reckons footy is shit now, almost unwatchable, and I agree with him. I’d bring back the death penalty for the cunts that inflicted this on us. Tuesday Jun 1: Bloody hell, Ancelotti quits and the reaction is even better than expected. Some Blues are so deluded they can’t understand why anyone would leave them for Real Madrid, while those who actually have their feet on planet earth are understandably fuming. He fed them a load of shit about how much he loved the club and that he was so happy with what he had there. He spoke about a project and a goal of getting them to the Champions League and then he fucked off after leading them to the dizzy heights of 12th and 10th. From Ancelotti’s point of view though, it was an absolute no brainer. Madrid at their lowest ebb is still a vastly more attractive proposition than the Blueshite. At least we know what he meant a few weeks ago when he said “anyone not happy at Everton can leave”. I saw a Blue make the point that a few weeks ago he was ripping the Super League proposal and clambered to the high ground to take a dump on everyone involved. And now he’s just gone to work for the guy who was the brains behind the whole thing. It’s almost like he said all that because he knew it would go down well with the Blue hordes. The reaction from Reds was equally as funny. Some of the one liners and gifs were sensational. One of my favourites was someone saying Ancelotti and Everton was the footy equivalent of Amanda Holding and Les Dennis. “Carlo Thatsyourlotti” was good too. What a time to be alive. The complete disdain he’s shown them took me aback if I’m honest. He didn’t even try to sugarcoat it or lie about feeling bad. It was basically “yeah, I’ve had a better offer. Bye then!” I wouldn’t for a second say I felt sorry for Evertonians because I absolutely didn’t. I completely respect their right to call him a cunt though. You know something that hasn’t been said enough? He was fucking shit at Everton. He spent loads and did fuck all. They’re no better than when he took over but he’s filled his pockets, conned them into filling his son’s pockets too, wasted money on shite and fucked off and left them in the lurch. Poor Dunc is sat there at Finch Farm with only his pigeons for company now. Any Blues feeling let down by him have a point but then it’s their own fault for buying into the shite he fed them about loving the club and the fans. He was there for the money. Everyone knew that, except Evertonians, who somehow convinced themselves he was there because he loved Crosby beach and Bootle strand. They only managed to lure him there with a massively inflated contract and now he’s took a hefty pay cut to leave them. Why will they do now? Try and throw money at another ‘name’ or accept their place in the food chain and give it to Nice Guy Eddie. It’s be interesting if he did get it because it would be a fascinating social experiment. How long would it take for the nicest, gentlest, least confrontational manager in football to become a foaming at the mouth, rabid, snide cunt throwing barbs at the Reds? It didn’t take Ancelotti too long to become a prick and he was always seen as one of the good guys. Give Eddie Howe six months at Everton and he’ll be like Neil Warnock on Stellar. In other news, Trent made the England squad as Southgate bottled it and picked four right backs. He should have just sent Kyle Walker packing as he’s by far the weakest of the four. He can run really fast though and lots of people equate that with being good, including Southgate seemingly. Wednesday Jun 2: Southgate says the speculation over Trent was media bollocks and he spoke to him weeks ago to tell him he wasn’t being left out. Not 100% sure I believe him but he was fairly convincing. If he was lying Trent would know so presumably this is legit. Over the last week or so there were a couple of journos claiming exclusives about Trent missing out and it’s clear that they were just click baiting and knew fuck all. But after all of this shit he might now miss out because he did his hamstring in a friendly tonight. I feel bad for him but he badly needs a rest and if he gets a summer off then great. Not a good night for our other right back either. Neco was sent off playing for Wales for an accidental handball in a friendly. Seems harsh like. Nuno Holy Ghost has emerged as a front runner for the Everton job but Palace are in for him as well. Similar thing with Eddie Howe really as Nuno is a lovely fella. It wouldn’t stay like that. Big Red Ron was the only one who didn’t let Everton change him. Even Martinez got a bit sneaky at times. Spurs are looking for a manager too of course and they’ll have the pick of the best ones, with Everton and Palace fighting over the scraps. Conte might go to Spurs. Not sure how that would play out. He’s defo a good manager, but is that situation suited to him? There’s lots of talk that Calvert-Lewin is going to Palace. No idea where that’s come from but I’m not buying it. Palace don’t even have a manager and - much as I like to take the piss out of Everton - there’s no way a player is leaving Everton for Palace as a step up. Everton are shite but Palace isn’t an upgrade. That said, Calvert-Lewin is too good for Everton now, as is Digne. They should both leave. Richarlison has found his level though. He belongs at Goodison, the absolute fucking cunt. And shame on Brazil for continually picking him. Meanwhile, Nat Phillips is seeing Liam Gallagher’s daughter. I don’t have anything further to add to that, I just felt it was worth mentioning. Thursday Jun 3: Adrian getting a new contract? Hmmm. I'm not on board. He may not be on huge money but it will be way too much for a number three, so that tells me Kelleher must be going on loan. In theory that’s good for him as he’ll play a lot of games and it will help his development. In reality, he could play 15-20 games for us next season based on Alisson’s injury history and if we let him play all the cup games (including CL group games). And the money saved from letting Adrian walk could have gone in the ‘keep Gini’ pot. I don't have any dislike for Adrian and I'm convinced he’s better than some starting Premier League keepers, but the drop off from Alisson to him is understandably huge and I hate the fact we expect him to play with his feet when he’s no good at it. That Atletico Madrid game scarred me deeply but overall he’s done ok. That said, the thought of him playing games next season deflates me. Those games could be Kelleher’s. It’s tricky though isn’t it because finding a good back up keeper is really difficult and Kelleher probably wants to be playing 40 games a season somewhere. Doesn't help either that the Irish manager is saying he needs to play if he's going to be their number one. It's entirely fair from an Irish perspective, but it means more Adrian so I don't like it. What's the solution though? Would we be better off letting Adrian walk and bringing in someone else? Probably not, as who would we get on a free who is better? There’s also the dynamic between the keepers to think of. If Adrian gets on well with Alisson and Kelleher and there’s a nice camaraderie there that helps us overall. It’s like quarterbacks in the NFL, you need a starter and a back up and they both need to know their defined roles otherwise it can be trouble. Meanwhile, Trent is out for six weeks. Gutted for him but made up for us. Him being injured is probably better for him than if he’d just been dropped, because the injury he has isn’t something you can rehab immediately so he’ll need to have rest, which he may not have had otherwise. He’ll be fucking flying in August I reckon. He's better off out of it. England's fans will disgrace themselves as usual this summer. The cunts keep booing the taking of the knee which sums them up. The Euros will only be enjoyable to me when England are out and I can relax. The thought of those cunt fans being able to celebrate winning anything sickens me. I'd rather Everton won a trophy than England did. Friday Jun 4: Villa look like they’re going to beat Arsenal to the signing of Buendia from Norwich, while Spurs have given up on trying to persuade Poch to come back. North London is a fucking mess right now isn’t it? Because the thing is, if I was Buendia I’d choose Villa over Arsenal right now as well. The only reason Arsenal finished above them was because Grealish got injured. If he’s staying, then why wouldn’t you choose them over Arsenal? You’d be mad not to, because Arsenal are just in this perpetual cycle of mediocrity. At least Villa have an upward trajectory and a shot at actually becoming something. They might not get there but other than Everton I can’t think of anyone I’d rather play for less than Arsenal these days. Villa are in for Ward-Prowse too, which is a shame as I hoped we’d snap him up as a replacement for Gini (completely different player I know, but he’d be a nice complimentary piece to our midfield options). Speaking of Gini, he still hasn’t joined Barca and now it looks like PSG have come in for him with a ‘double your money’ offer. Literally the only reason you’d join Barca in their current state is just for the prestige of having them on your CV, so I hope Gini takes the cash and goes to PSG. He’s got more chance of winning something there and maybe he can sell the Reds to Mbappe a bit more. Not that he needs any selling as he’d defo want to play here if possible. Finally, Bill Kenwright is the gift that keeps on giving. Phil McNulty says Kenwright told him earlier this year "One very famous football club said to me two or three days ago 'whenever we have a problem we say 'what would the Everton board do because they always get it right?'" Who do we reckon it was? I think I know. Because there was a very famous club that found itself in need of a manager last week and asked themselves “what did Everton do when they needed a top class manager?”. The answer was “they hired Carlo Ancelotti” so that’s what they did. …. and that was the week that was.