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Monday May 10: Alisson’s missus gives birth to their third child. Congratulations to them. Usually when a keeper becomes a dad there’s a joke to be made about the doctor handing him the baby and him dropping it. That doesn’t work with Alisson as his handling is really secure. What actually happened here though was the doc handed him the baby and he passed it straight to Che Adams. On a similar note, Perrie Edwards announces she’s pregnant, so at least we know Ox has been putting all that spare time to good use. Happy for him, he’s a sound lad and I’m sure he’ll be a great dad. Can’t see his kid growing up with a scouse accent though as he’s surely going to be off this summer. One of the lads always says that “he’s got West Ham stamped through him like a stick of rock” and that’s probably a good shout. Tuesday May 11: United lose at home to Leicester with a severely weakened team. No surprise here and while I have a big problem about the situation and decision making process that led to this happening, I don’t have any problem with the team that was picked tonight. What else was he supposed to do? Technically the title was still up for grabs if they could have won tonight, but he couldn’t just send out the same players who played at the weekend, especially as they play again on Thursday against us. It’s easy to say ‘he rested everyone to try and beat us’ but it’s not that simple. If they’d have been playing us tonight what would he have done? I don’t think the team would have been much different, because he needs to protect his players, especially with a European final coming up. I suspect his line up would have been a bit stronger than it was, but he wouldn’t have picked his best eleven because it would have been stupid to take that risk. The real problem here is that their fans caused our game to be postponed and as a result of that, Leicester benefited from it and we suffered (West Ham and Chelsea as well to some degree). United themselves suffered too because they were unable to drag the title race out a little further. Of course City were going to win it at some point but they have been stalling lately and if United had kept the pressure on for another week you never know. At least make them win it on the pitch. They couldn’t do that because they had to play three games in five days and the middle one was always going to give Solskjaer a huge problem. So the real villains here are the mutants that invaded the pitch, the PL for re-scheduling for this week because they didn’t want to inconvenience West Brom (who were clearly going to be already down anyway) and Sky. Why Sky? Because the PL should have just awarded us the points but that was never going to happen because it’s Sky’s biggest game of the season and they would not have allowed that to happen. If we miss out on the top four, which now looks almost certain, it’s our own fault for losing all those home games. This didn’t help though and it leaves a sour taste in the mouth. We need a miracle now. Wednesday May 12: And we got one! Arsenal actually did a thing. ARSENAL! Can you believe that? They went to Chelsea and won, and now Chelsea are really going to have to sweat for their top four spot. If we win our last four games that will be enough, barring a freak situation in which Leicester beat Spurs by a landslide and we get screwed by goal difference. Chelsea play Leicester next so whatever happens in that game we’re going to be able to catch one of those two as long as we take care of our own business. Easier said than done of course, especially considering where we go tomorrow night. The kids are in another youth cup final after coming from a goal down to win 2-1 at Ipswich tonight. They weren’t good in the first half and I didn’t think they were at their best in the second either, but they did enough and goals from Musialowski and substitute Frauendorf saw them through. The players I was most looking forward to watching weren’t really on their game but Quansah at the back was brilliant. I like the look of him. Big fan of James Norris at left back too. Can’t wait for the final now, I love the youth cup. Probably going to play Villa, who face West Brom in the other semi. Also today, Virg does an interview with the club tv channel and reveals he isn’t going to the Euros and wants to get himself right for pre-season. I don’t think this was ever really in doubt was it? To have any chance of making the Euros he’d have needed to play for us and he’s nowhere near. Gomez is the same, but Hendo apparently still has a chance. He won’t play for us but he’d be fit to play for England and he’d be nice and rested too. I think he’ll go, although I’d much rather he didn’t. Robbo is the one that really concerns me as he’s had no rest all season and will then run himself into the ground for Scotland before having a couple of weeks off and doing it all over again. Thursday May 13: Mancs 2 L 4. Get the fuck in. That felt so good and not just because it kept us alive in the fight for the Champions League. It was just so sweet knocking them off after all the shite their fans were pulling again. Home game two nights ago, not a fucking peep. Liverpool come to town and it turns into an episode of Line of Duty with the fucking OCG trying to hijack an AC12 transport. Those photos online of the team bus being stopped by cars were just nuts. They let the tyres down on the bus too, trying to stop them reaching Old Trafford. Apparently THIS is about getting the Glazers out? I’m struggling to join those dots if I’m honest. If the goal is to stop games going ahead, where were these fucking mutants the other night when they played Leicester? Or the other week when they had a Europa League semi? And if this is a protest about billionaires and the greed in football, then singing songs mocking unemployment and poverty is probably going to undermine that message just a tad, don’t you think lads? The answer to that is obviously that no, they don’t think at all. About anything. The fucking helmets. Manchester having a higher unemployment rate and arguably more poverty than Merseyside seems lost on these cunts. “We decide when you play” is their latest, self indulgent, deluded arrogant shout. Right up there with “we’re Man United, we’ll do what we want”. I can’t stress this strongly enough. Fuck those cunts. Fuck their fight against the Glazers. Fuck absolutely everything about that. Now, before, after, forever. I do love that the bus they stopped was a decoy though. Klopp said that they didn’t see any trouble and had an uneventful journey into the stadium, so that suggests the police knew what was going on, sent a second bus along the route and then took the real bus a different way. Not even going to say much about the game as it’s been covered in the match report. One thing I didn’t say in there though was that Mo was understatedly fucking brilliant tonight. If he hadn’t scored that goal late on not much would have been said about him but even aside from that he was great. Some of his control was out of this world, he worked his bollocks off and his decision making was superb. Some of those counter attacks we had were great and a lot of it was down to Mo laying it off first time or generally playing the right pass. He was terrific. Fully deserved his moment at the end and having scored three in his last two Old Trafford appearances hopefully he’s put that hoodoo behind him. Friday May 14: What is it about the press in this country (and probably others I assume) that everything has to be a fucking soap opera. There were so many things to focus on from last night but the first thing Klopp was asked was about Sadio blanking him at the end. He’d answered it three or four times after the game, but it was still the first thing he was asked in his press conf today. And as if that wasn’t annoying enough, even after he’d answered it he STILL got asked about it again by that fat fuck ‘Moose’ from Talksport. It’s ridiculous. I’m not saying it wasn’t a story and yeah, we were all interested in it at the time and wanted to know what was behind it, but to still be dragging it out, looking for more gossip for Jim fucking White to get milage out of is just grim. That Talksport goon ‘Moose’ even tried to justify his stupid question by adding “if I disrespected my boss like that I’d be in trouble”. Klopp just said “I feel sorry for you then” before pointing out that when he was a player he’d lose his head all the time and it’s not a big deal. Sadio looked like a petulant little tit last night but if you speak to anyone at Melwood (or new Melwood, whatever its called) they’ll tell you he’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. When he arrives for training he goes in to see everybody and (pre-covid) would greet everyone with a hug. Sports Science people, cleaners, canteen staff, everyone loves Sadio because he’s got time for everyone. But he’s also a hothead. He doesn’t lose it often but when he does he proper loses it and can’t contain himself. We saw it at Burnley last year. That was hilarious because we were top of the league and everything was great. Him doing that the other night in a season when he’s been shite and the team hasn’t been much better means we find it much harder to laugh it off. Ultimately though it’s got fuck all to do with any of us and the only thing that matters is what Klopp thinks, and he clearly does not give a flying fuck about it and if anything he tried to take the blame for it because he didn’t handle ‘dropping’ Sadio the way he normally would. I’m increasingly coming to the belief that these press conferences are a total waste of time as 90% of the questions are pointless and irrelevant and you can see Klopp's visible disdain. Its probably the worst thing he has to do all week. And the Champions League ones when they let the overseas journey ask questions are even worse. Especially the fucking Spanish who only ever want to get people to talk about how massive Real Madrid and Barcelona are. Meanwhile, I watched the other youth cup semi tonight and Villa comfortably saw off West Brom. They added another four to their total and they’ve scored a shitload of goals in this competition. That Louie Barry kid who scored against our first team in the FA Cup is their star player. That’s going to be a really difficult game for us in the final. Should be full of goals though. …. and that was the week that was.

Well that was an unexpected bonus. I expected us to get nothing from this game but this was a big boy performance. Full of quality character and - for once - goals. It started horribly, which was exactly what I expected. With all the crap in the build up, talk of the team coach being held up and tyres let down (turns out it was a decoy coach and the real one entered the stadium with no problems!), I just had visions of falling behind inside the first ten minutes and never recovering from it. So what we saw early on was entirely what I was fearing. We’d started quite brightly with the ball but United were finding too much space when they had it. Still, I was thinking we were doing well until Alisson’s latest brain fart. I’m getting so fucking sick of him just passing the ball to the opposition when he’s under no pressure. It’s needless and it’s something he should be able to easily cut out, yet he’s doing it all the fucking time. He got away with it big time in the last game and he got away with again here because Cavani didn’t hit the target after Alisson passed it straight to him in the middle of the goal. There’s just no need. It isn’t about ability, it’s entirely about being sloppy as fuck. Just concentrate for fucks sake, because we can’t afford any mistakes like that right now. Anyway, we got away with it but it seemed to unsettle us and gave United encouragement. We were ragged without the ball, which Klopp later explained was due to United’s tactics of doubling up in wide areas and outnumbering us. He said once we solved that we were fine. Can’t argue with that, because after that opening 15-20 minutes we were by far the better side and dominated most of the game. Unfortunately by the time we solved the problem we were already a goal down. It was an own goal by Phillips but mercifully for him it goes down as a Fernandez goal. To be honest, I’d rather it was credited to Nat, if only to take a goal away from that rat faced, screaming little fucking worm. Nat said he initially thought the shot was going wide and was going to leave it. Then he saw it curling and knew he had to try to clear it. He reacted too late and smashed it past Alisson. One of those things really. I think it would have hit the post but Phillips can’t know that and had to try and stop it. The bigger problem there was Gini losing Wan Bissaka and how easily Fernandez found space in the box. Fabinho got attracted to the ball. For the next ten minutes or so it looked like we were going to get hammered, but slowly but surely we began to get control. Gini and Thiago were instrumental in that I thought, while Trent’s passing was just incredible all night and was the catalyst for us getting on top. Having turned down what looked a clear penalty when Bailly blocked Firmino’s cross with his hand, Anthony Taylor then awarded us a penalty for what I initially thought was nothing. Then I saw the replay and I was sure it was nothing. Honestly, I’m staggered there are people who think that was a penalty. He got the ball, his follow through wasn’t dangerous or out of control and then Nat comes in and gets caught by him. There’s an argument to be had that had it been at the other end a penalty would have been awarded. I’m not going to dispute that as Taylor and Tierney have too much previous. But I knew it wasn’t going to stand and I wasn’t even particularly annoyed about it. I was more annoyed about the handball earlier that was completely ignored. The more I see that the worse it gets. Initially I was disappointed in Bobby looking to square it rather than shoot, but when you see it again that cut back is perfect and Jota has an open goal if that ball reaches him. It doesn’t reach him because Bailly doesn’t cut it out with his lunge but the ball hits his hand. Not deliberate, but that’s a fucking penalty all day. Not on Paul Tierney’s VAR watch though. Anyway, I did fear that this overturned penalty was just going to be another one of those things we’d be left to feel sorry for ourselves about after more points were dropped. The whole season has been like that, but this time the lads seemed galvanised by it rather than deflated and the response was great. We levelled when Phillips picked up a loose ball in the box and showed nice footwork and good intelligence to blast it back into the danger area where Jota flicked it home. No more than we’d deserved and we were looking really dangerous any time we went forward. The goal that gave us the lead started with Phillips making two consecutive blocks in his own area. The first to deny Pogba, the second to stop Fernandez, who went down with a loud scream after not actually being touched by Thiago. He stayed down too, wanting the game to be stopped. We didn’t stop the game, play went on, we reached the edge of their box and Pogba took matters into his own hands and had a swing at Jota. He did it just to stop the game, but it just shows what thick cunt he is because he must have been the only person inside Old Trafford or watching on telly that didn’t know Fernandez was faking it. Trent whipped in the free-kick and Firmino met it with a thumping header on the back post. You can hear a loud “BOBBBBBYYYYYYY!!!” as it goes in. Pretty sure it was Robbo. So a great turnaround and a half time lead. It got better too. We started the second half brilliantly and United looked all over the place. It was complete dominance. United kept giving the ball away under our intense press and when Shaw was caught out Trent found himself in shooting position. He blasted it goal wards, Henderson spilled it and Bobby was on hand to make it 3-1. Fucking hell, dreamland. For a while after that it looked like we would run riot but we just couldn’t finish them off. Jota hit the post with the best chance after a lovely sweeping counter attack and I felt like that was a turning point. That needed to go in to make it safe, because you just knew they’d have a spell and they have so many dangerous forwards that it was inevitable they’d score at least one more. And they did. Rashford broke clear through the middle and linked past Alisson to completely change the momentum of the game and ensure a nervous finale for us. We were wobbling in that period and had an incredible let off when Phillips cleared off the line and then Williams made a great block on the follow up effort to get the ball behind for a corner. That was the most decisive moment of the entire game for me. Nat modestly said afterwards that he was just making up for his own mistake as he’d tried to cushion a header to Fabinho instead of just clearing it. I fucking love him, such a modest, unassuming lad who has stepped up to the plate for us when we desperately needed him. I haven’t rooted for anybody this much since Neil Mellor came through, and that was different because I knew him personally. I have no connection with Nat Phillips but I just fucking love him. What a hero. After that we dealt with whatever they threw at us and United seemed to be getting more and more frantic. It was no great surprise when substitute Jones played a first time ball to send Mo scampering clear with no defenders around him. I knew he was going to score because it just felt like that breakaway he had last season at Anfield against them. He was never going to miss, especially when the keeper inexplicably just went backwards and stood virtually on his line, giving Mo the entire far side of the goal to aim at. That one incident alone would be enough for me to restore De Gea and cash in on Henderson if I was Solksjaer. That wasn’t a mistake, that was just a sign of a keeper who can’t be very good because that was genuinely staggering to me. Still, that’s their problem, not ours. Mo’s celebration represented how all of us were feeling. Curtis was first to dive on him, and then Rhys Williams arrived on the scene. I love that. He was furthest away from him but obviously must have sprinted the length of the field to get there. What a night for that kid. He’s another who has performed way above any expectations we could have realistically had of him. Sadio throwing a strop at the end and refusing the Klopp fist bump pissed me right off though. Firstly, he himself said this week that he’s been shite this season. Secondly, the three lads picked ahead of him all scored. What fucking justification can he have for being pissed off with Klopp? I love Sadio but that’s not a good look. Bobby and Mo have been left out or subbed and there will be times they won’t have agreed with it, but I haven’t seen any toys coming out of prams like that. He’s prone to the odd wobbler though as he’s an emotional lad. Generally though he's the nicest, most popular lad at the club and everybody (other than maybe Mo!) loves him. This isn't even a storm in a teacup and I doubt Klopp is remotely arsed about it. In fact he probably feels like he was partly to blame for it based on his explanation of it all. It seems that Sadio was pissed off at the way the decision was made (and not explained) rather than just having the hump that he was overlooked. Doesn’t excuse his act of petulance but it does perhaps explain it. He might need to get used to the bench for a while though as how can you drop any of the front three after that? Maybe there’s a case for rotating to introduce fresh legs, but that’s the only reason you’d bring Sadio back in currently. There was on other Sadio related incident that needs mentioning, as it was pretty staggering. Taylor had just booked McTominay for a foul and seconds later he slipped and rugby tackled Mané as he ran into the box. I could have forgiven Taylor if he’d blown for the free-kick but not produced a second yellow based on the fact McTominay had fallen over and perhaps didn’t intend to foul Sadio, but to not even give the free-kick was either cowardice or cheating. I’d lean towards the former because overall I didn’t think he was that bad, but that one was incredible. It’s utterly mental that despite the amount of times we’ve blown it this season that somehow our fate is still in our own hands. We knew before this that winning our last four games would almost certainly get us a Champions League spot. The biggest roadblock to that was this game but we’ve come through that one. We can’t go and win at Old Trafford only to fuck it up against already relegated West Brom, surely? It’s been the kind of season where nothing can be ruled out, but let’s hope we can win our last three and salvage something from this absolutely fucking miserable campaign. Star man is Trent by an absolute mile. That shows just how great he was because we had a lot of other top performers out there too. Just no-one even close to him. Everyone played well and it was a great team performance. I want to single out a few of them though, for differing reasons. Firstly, Firmino. He’s been shite this season but he’s never let his head go down and he’s never complained or shown any dissent when he’s been left out. It was nice to see something go his way for once. The goals were obviously the main thing, but he generally looked more like his old self with his pressing and general involvement in the game. I also want to highlight Thiago, who is someone else that has had plenty of criticism this season. He was fucking brilliant I thought. He covered so much ground and never wasted a pass all night. He’s starting to find his groove now and seems to be getting better every week. Having Fabinho in there has definitely helped him. Finally, the two lads at the back. Williams had a fairly quiet game, which is a good thing as if you aren’t noticing him it means he isn’t getting exposed or making mistakes. The one thing about him that has really impressed all season is that he never looks like he’s scared. Even when he’s been caught out or made mistakes, it doesn’t seem to knock his confidence. He’s got a great attitude. But when it comes to attitude nobody tops Big Nat. He’s nowhere near the level of most of his world class team-mates yet somehow he’s made himself one of our most important players right now. Look at our record when he’s played compared to when he hasn’t. He’s performing way above how he should be and it’s almost like he’s doing it through sheet force of will. He put through his own net, at Old Trafford, and just shrugged it off to go on and produce a high quality performance. He set up the equaliser, cleared one off his own line and generally just put his body on the line and won his headers and defended like his life depended on it. If we do qualify for the Champions League he may not even get to play in it, but he’ll be one of the main reasons we are in it as he’s been as influential as anybody in possibly saving our season. There’s still three cup finals left before we’re at that point though. Don’t fuck it up now lads. Team: Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Phillips, R Williams, Robertson; Fabinho, Wijnaldum (Jones), Thiago; Salah (N Williams), Firmino, Jota (Mané):

The weekend was going pretty well for us overall until City threw away their game against Chelsea. The one time we actually wanted the pricks to win and they fucked it up. They opened the scoring just before half time through Sterling, who took the ball off the toe of Aguero to convert a cross by Jesus. Aguero actually gets credited with an assist for that, which shows just how pointless that stat is as it was a dreadful touch that would have seen a defender clear the danger if Sterling hadn’t been on the spot. Worst assist since Aquilani fell over at Burnley, the ball hit him on the back and Stevie lashed it in from 30 yards. City were then were awarded a penalty immediately after as Jesus went tumbling following a minor collision with Gilmour, who was not Happy about that. *sniggers* That’s not a pen for me as Jesus stepped across him and Gilmour isn’t even really trying to do anything except avoid him. Not that I cared, I just wanted Chelsea to lose so this was all good. Until Aguero fucked it up. He’s absolutely shite on pens, always has been. I don’t have his record to hand, but it feels like he misses as many as he scores. I don’t know why they don’t have Ederson just leathering all of their pens as he strikes a ball better than anyone they have other than De Bruyne. Anyone who attempts a ‘Panenka’ should be fined a week’s wages. And if they miss, it should be a month’s. Showboating twats. That miss basically cost City the game because if he scores Chelsea aren’t coming back from 2-0. Not that they will care. The title was more or less wrapped up anyway as they knew United had to play three games in five days. I had this one down as a Chelsea loss though so for them to come back and win was a kick in the balls. Ziyech levelled with a low shot that Ederson probably should have saved and Werner and Hudson-Odoi both had goals ruled out for offside as Chelsea pushed hard for a winner. Sterling should have had a penalty late on but then he shouldn’t have even been on the field to win it, so that one evened itself out. It was definitely a red card tackle on Werner in the first half but he’s done that before and got away with it. One of those ‘ho ho ho wee Raheem canna tackle’ kind of things. As for the pen he didn’t get, I get the school of thought that says he slowed down to ensure the defender ran into him, but he’s entitled to do that as there’s no rule that says you need to run flat out at all times. If there was I’d have never bothered lacing up a pair of boots because fuck that. The point is, he may have slowed down to draw contact, but Zouma’s knee caught him on the thigh and caused him to go down. It wasn’t a dive but you can say he played for it. If we hadn’t been given a pen for that I’d have gone mad. That was a huge moment in the game because Chelsea went up the other end and won it through Alonso’s scuffed finish. Annoying as fuck, but if Chelsea can repeat that in the Champions League Final then that will soften the blow somewhat. That result was a rare blemish on an otherwise decent weekend. Spurs lost at Leeds which helped us out considerably. Leeds started well and my boy Bamford had already gone close before Dallas put them one up after 13 minutes. Son made it 1-1 when he ran onto a pass by Alli, and Kane thought he’d made it 2-1 with a brilliant goal. VAR had other ideas. You know, that was a fucking disgrace really. It worked out good for us, but it was still a fucking scandal. I’ve made this point before and this particular goal emphasises it perfectly. That was level and the only reason that goal isn’t given is because the VAR decided he didn’t want to give it. When it’s that close they have to give a decision one way or another and it’s entirely at their discretion. There is no evidence that Kane’s toe was ahead of the defenders. It’s entirely about where they choose to put that line, and when the lines are level they have to move one of them and that is completely down to whatever the VAR chooses to do. That’s just not right. These decisions need to be based on fact, not the preference of one man. This shit will 100% kill football if it isn’t scrapped. Bamford converted from close range to restore Leeds’ advantage. Kane hit the bar with a free-kick before Raphinha set up Rodrigo to make the game safe. Lovely counter attack that. Kane is currently the top goalscorer and also has more assists than anyone else. I’ve dismissed the relevance of assists but in his case it’s different. His assists aren’t a case of rolling it five yards for someone to smash one in from 30 yards, they’ve generally been brilliant through balls or crosses. He’s Player of the Year by a fucking mile and that’s a hill I’m prepared to die on. All this Ruben Dias talk is just bollocks. It’s people trying to look more knowledgeable by ignoring the obvious, stroking their chins and musing “oh you only have to look at the difference Dias has made to City”. He’s had a good season but Harry Kane has been the best player in the league by a huge margin. He’s being linked with City now and if - God forbid - that happens and he has the same kind of season for them that he’s had this year, I guarantee the same people rimming Dias now will be saying Kane has ‘gone to another level’ and is the best player in the country. He already is, he’s just in a shite team. Another good result for us saw Newcastle win at Leicester. Nice unexpected bonus that one. The Geordies tore Leicester apart on the break but in fairness they are a much better side when they have Wilson, Saint-Maximin and Almiron together. They haven’t had all three playing together for large parts of the season and if they had they’d be pushing for the top half. Willock scored yet again to give them the lead. Four games in a row he’s scored now. He’s a tidy little player him and he’d do well to get away from Arsenal for good. You don’t want that Arsenal stench on you as it’s tough to shake off. Dummet rose well to thump in a header to make it 2-0 and Wilson ran clear onto a brilliant Richie through ball to put Newcastle three ahead. Amazing. Wilson then added another. Newcastle four goals up at third placed Leicester? Mental. But this is the kind of mad thing that has been happening in empty stadiums. Leicester did rally and goals from Albrighton and that Iheanacho cunt made it a little nervy, especially as Dubravka needed to make a great stop to deny that Ayoze Perez loser, but Bruce’s boys held on and they’ve survived with plenty to spare. They’ll probably sack him because the fans hate him but he’s done a good job. Same with the Hodge. Palace were never in any danger of going down and that’s been the case for most of his time there. You have to think he must be nearing the end and you wonder what keeps him going. The only thing Palace can realistically do every season is stay up, yet somehow he is still motivated to go to work every day and grind. He must be fucking mad. Just enjoy your money Roy and retire somewhere hot with nice golf courses and beaches. Benteke put them ahead against Sheffield United with a shot that was right down the keeper’s throat but was deflected in off a defender. He did did that fucking shitty thigh slapping celebration though. Beggars can’t be choosers I suppose. He doesn’t get much chance to bust that move out these days, thankfully. It gets me irrationally mad as it’s just so shit. He should have had a second soon after but his header was too close to Ramsdale. He then hit the post after robbing Fleck and thundering in a shot from a tight angle. Eze made it 2-0 with a brilliant solo effort. He’s really talented him. Doesn’t really do enough with that talent but he’s still young and might turn into something very good. Onto Sunday. United won away again. After coming from behind again. Didn’t watch it, have no interest in it, all I’ll say is this shit wouldn’t happening all the time if fans were in stadiums. You watch, as soon as fans are properly back United will lose the first away game they play in a full stadium. Their record this season is as false as our home record. Stick a huge asterisk next to it. Arsenal proved me wrong last week. I thought they’d somehow win the Europa and backdoor their way into the Champions League. Instead, they served up a damp squib 0-0 against Villarreal and their season came to an abrupt end. They did beat West Brom though to stay in 10th spot. Smith Rowe converted a Saka cross to break the deadlock. That was his first Premier League goal of the season which surprised me as I thought he’d been doing really well. I suppose it’s just such a low bar at Arsenal that anyone who can run without tripping over their own laces seems like they’re doing well. Pepe curled one in from the edge of the box to double their lead and then ran to the camera to celebrate. See, this is what I’m talking about. This is why I’m so offended by Arsenal and their lack of self awareness. You’re 10th in the league, you’ve just embarrassed yourself in Europe and all your fans hate you. Yet your players are over celebrating goals against a relegated side as though they’ve just done something special. That is why you fail, Arsenal. That is why you fail. Pereira pulled one back for the Baggies and he’s too good to be relegated. Someone should take him as he’s a tidy player. Could see him doing well with Leeds or someone like that. Norwich maybe. The rest of that squad belongs in the Championship though. Willian curled in a free-kick in the last minute to make it 3-1 and again, the celebrations were over the top. He’s been there the whole fucking season and this was his first goal. He should have been too embarrassed to celebrate. Zero humility at that club. Allardyce now finally has a relegation on his CV and we can all take a moment to enjoy that, especially as he once again absolved himself of any blame for it. “I think these players should have got themselves in a situation where they were still fighting to stay out of the relegation situation”. Typical of the man. Take the credit for anything good, blame the players when it doesn’t go right. So now he has been relegated, the mashed potato faced twat. Not ever having to hear that little nugget trotted out when he does his ‘Fireman Sam’ act and picks up millions to save some under-achieving loser club from the drop is one small crumb of comfort to take from this season. Just a shame he didn’t take Everton down when he was there. Another good result for us came at the City of London stadium where our friendly neighbourhood Blues took care of West Ham. Calvert-Lewin got the only goal of the game and I don’t really have much else to say other than to highlight this….. WhatsApp Video 2021-05-13 at 15.09.52.mp4 Just look at Richarlison there!! Honestly, that is the worst piece of off the ball running from a forward I have ever seen in my life. All he has to do is either stay where he is or hang back a little and it’s an easy ball for Calvert-Lewin to play him in. Instead he runs straight to the ball and closes off all avenues. Genuinely, I find that incomprehensible, the thick ugly cunt. I hope Ancelotti highlights that in their next team meeting and makes a complete cunt out of him in front of the entire squad. I still can’t believe that happened. It’s mad. What an absolute cunt. I fucking despise him. Brighton lost at Wolves thanks to some irresponsible play from their captain. Dunk had rose highest to head them into an early lead but was then sent off for pulling back Silva when he was clean through. So stupid that. You need to have some game awareness in that situation. The lad isn’t guaranteed to score but even if he does your team is playing well, it’s 1-1 so it’s not the end of the world. If there’s only 15 minutes left then sure, drag the fucker back and take one for the team. After 52 minutes though? Nah, that’s braindead and it’s his fault they lost. Wolves seriously laboured though. Traore equalised with the kind of goal you wonder why he can’t do on a more regular basis. He frustrates the fuck out of me. He then put one on a plate for Gibbs-White but the kid smashed it into orbit with the goal gaping. He redeemed himself in stoppage time by firing in the winner but this is basically the first thing I can remember him doing all season. He looked amazing a year or so back and has basically disappeared since. He’s their equivalent of Curtis Jones but they just haven’t developed him at all. Traore has gone backwards this year too. Then there’s Hoever. That lad was phenomenal at 16 and had superstar potential. Ajax have had some good kids come through recently but when we nabbed him our staff believed they had the best of that bunch. Look at him now though. Squad player at Wolves. You just never know with young players as they all develop at different speeds and some of them just don’t progress at all. Brighton have done well to stay up though and Graham Potter is one of the best managers in the league. He’s like Brendan without the Brendanisms. Speaking of which, you may have missed this on social media this week so I figured it was worth throwing in here as it’s just gold. Monday night now, and Fulham’s fate was finally sealed as they lost at home to Burnley. Westwood and Wood got the goals as Fulham produced their standard performance. Nice passing, good football, no points. Fulham can fuck off now. Hopefully they stay down as I’m sick of these yo-yo teams like them, Norwich, Watford and West Brom. Fuck all of them, I’d rather see those scabs Forest get back up, or someone like Bolton or Blackburn who were fucked over by terrible owners. Sunderland too, although they’re finding it hard to even get out of League One, let alone the Championship. I don’t want to see Fulham again though, or Scott ‘Scotty’ Parker and his Top Man outfits. We actually lost at home to them too. Shameful. Wood has been in great form lately and he is Burnley in a microcosm. Streaky bastard. Does nothing for months, then goes on a hot streak and at the end of the season he’s in double figures. Burnley seem to have the same season every year. Bad runs, people questioning them, skirting around just above the relegation spots and then at the end of the season you look at it and they’re well safe. No wonder they’ve named a pub near the ground after Dyche, he’s achieved miracles there when you consider they’ve got the same starting eleven they’ve had for six years.Their team never changes, they never spend any money but they survive with plenty to spare every year. Tuesday now, and I avoided that United / Leicester game completely. I checked the score at the end and it was what I expected, but there was no way I was devoting any time to that. I forwarded the highlights too. I’m not mad at Solskjaer or the United players. He played the bad hand he was dealt by their cunt fans. Klopp said he’d have done exactly the same as Solskjaer did and I agree. There’s nothing wrong with what he did and the players he put out there gave it a go from what I’ve heard. It’s just fucking disgusting really that the only ones to suffer from the actions of those stadium invading cunts are us. Apparently I’m meant to back their cause though. Get to fuck. The only thing worse than those mancs are the Reds telling us we should support them. The irony here is that United having to field a weakened team and losing to Leicester handed the title to their ‘noisy neighbours’. They were almost certainly winning it anyway but they had been wobbling a little bit and if United had kept on winning it would have put a bit of pressure on City. Without the fixture backlog United could have at least made City win it themselves instead of having it handed to them. So anyway, that result looked to have put the final nail in our Champions League coffin. But then, 24 hours later, along came the most unlikely of White Knights on a trusty steed. Arsenal. No really. Arsenal. The flakiest of flakey bastards. The most spineless, underachieving bunch of fucking bums in the football world, went to high flying Chelsea - Champions League finalists Chelsea - and ground out a 1-0 win. Who’d have thunk it? No-one, that’s who. The only goal of the game was a right clusterfuck from Chelsea’s point of view. Jorginho played a blind backpass towards an empty net. Kepa had to sprint back and just about got it away from on the line, but Aubamayeng picked it up and squared for Smith Rowe to score. The interesting thing about this was that Kepa handled a backpass and the ref could have blown, but he played the advantage to see what happened and Arsenal scored. So well played Andre Marriner for that. Where it gets interesting though is that if he had blown for the foul, the only thing he could have done is award an indirect free-kick six yards from goal. Even though Kepa was denying a certain goal by committing foul play, under the laws of the game the ref could have taken no further action against him. How fucked up is that? Think about the red card David Luiz got a couple of months ago and compare it to Kepa doing that. Arsenal wouldn’t have even got a penalty for it, it would have been an indirect free-kick that would have almost certainly come to nothing. That law defo needs looking at. Holding blocked a shot with his hand but VAR wasn’t interested. He couldn’t do anything about it and his arm wasn’t in a particularly unnatural position, but that defo could have gone either way. Pulisic had a goal correctly ruled out for offside, Zouma hit the bar and then Giroud also hit the bar from the rebound. Arsenal did absolutely nothing going forward but they defended ok. At this point I think we need to talk about Dion Dublin’s glasses. Did he get them from Uncle Junior? I mean what the fuck is this about? Finally, Southampton welcomed back Danny Ings and he scored twice to help them see off Palace. Benteke fought his way through to fire the visitors ahead but Ings scored a boss little goal to level it up. Some of the goals he’s scored this season have been fucking brilliant, he's so sharp he could cut himself. Can we have him back and let them have Firmino instead? Asking for a friend. Zaha won a penalty but for once Milovojevic didn’t convert. Herman Munster made a great save but there was a VAR check to see if he was off his line. I hate that rule. It’s hard enough for keepers to save pens without these busy traffic warden cunts looking to see if their foot is a millimetre off the line. Looking at the replay it seems to be that he was off the line. His standing foot was well off the line and although his trailing leg was on the line, his foot wasn’t planted. So shouldn’t that have been retaken? I’m glad it wasn’t as its a shitty rule, but I found that a bit strange as I thought your foot had to actually be touching the goal-line. Maybe not. Adams put Southampton ahead after a clever corner routine. Well worked that, and a tidy finish. Ings wrapped it up with another quality finish. He’s just fucking quality. Benteke missed great chance to equalise when it looked like he was running in treacle. He was never a speedster but he wasn’t slow either. Now he runs like me. He is having a little bit of a resurgence of late though and the way this season has gone that fucker will probably score the goal that keeps us out of the top four. Assuming of course we’re still in the race at that point. Our recent track record at Old Trafford does nothing to inspire confidence we will be. Hopefully those pricks will get the game called off again and we will be awarded the points and a 3-0 win. That’s the only hope we have really with a ref and a VAR both from Manchester. We all know how ‘Altrincham fan’ Anthony Taylor likes to fuck us over, and let’s not forget that Tierney on VAR is the same cunt who blew up 14 seconds earlier because Sadio was clean through against them at Anfield. So yeah, let’s all get behind our Mancunian friends and support their protests against the Glazers. Go ed lads, trash your stadium, make your point. Give ‘em hell. We stand with you.