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Not too many more of these to go thankfully. Don’t know how many of you are even still reading and I’m not offended if you’ve given up. I’m just limping along until this thing is over and we can try to forget it ever happened. There’s so much to hate about this season even if you completely take LFC out of the equation. I’ve mentioned before about how I can’t stand seeing teams walking out into empty stadiums and that was brought home again this weekend when I saw City and Palace walking out at Selhurst. Comparing that with how it’s meant to be was just fucking grim. Usually there’d be the cheerleaders forming a guard of honour for the teams to come out, confetti flying everywhere, “Glad All over” blasting out and noise levels through the fucking roof, especially from that crew in the corner behind the goal. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but the point is Selhurst Park is usually bouncing. And here it is now, players walking out to nothing and the camera zooming in on Ederson’s ugly fucking gob. This season in a nutshell that. Of course City won but no-one cares any more. It was mentioned on commentary that Van Aanholt is out of contract this summer. Back up for Robbo maybe? He’s got his limitations (can’t defend being the obvious one!) but given that Tsimikas must be shite because Klopp definitely doesn’t trust him, that might be a way of bringing in a few quid while getting a bit better. Just thinking aloud really, and I’m biased here because Van Aanholt has always come across as a top lad based on things I’ve seen from him in interviews and on twitter. Also mentioned on commentary “Ray Lewington, never stops talking, great football man” said Jonathon Pearce. You know how you get people to think you’re a “great football man”? Wear footy boots and a pair of shorts with your initials on no matter what the weather is like. You can blag your way through anything if you do that. It’s like in the NFL when someone is described as “a good football guy” it generally means he has a thick moustache, a firm handshake and he likes to give ‘the Lord’ the credit for anything that goes well. Anyway, moving on. Brighton took a huge step towards safety with a well deserved 2-0 win over Leeds. They played as they have for most of the season. Nice football, very well coached, defensively organised, only this time they bagged a couple of goals and three points. They should have scored six but their finishing is as bad as ours. They took the lead with a Pascal Gross penalty but that was an awful decision I thought. MOTD didn’t make anything of it and Lineker even asked Shearer and Richards “why do defenders do that?”. Do what? All the defender did was fall over. Welbeck stuck his foot underneath the lad and then tumbled over. The defender didn’t actually do anything. VAR had a look and upheld the awful decision. Pathetic. Welbeck made the result safe with a brilliant goal. His 5th of the season. See, that’s the problem with him. Always has been. He can score a goal like that which makes you think “wow, this lad can play” but at the end of the season you look and he’s scored half a dozen goals in 40 games. His whole career has been that. He should have treble the amount of goals he has. With Brighton winning it left Fulham dangling on the precipice. They lost at Chelsea and are now nine points from safety. So in other words, they’re down. They’d only ever won at Stamford Bridge once in their entire history so they were never getting anything from this game, especially as - West Brom result aside - Chelsea have been really good since Tuchel arrived. This was always going to be the danger. They had such a great squad that Lampard was basically acting as a handicap to keep them in the pack. If they’d started the season with Tuchel they’d be challenging City. They’ve already beaten them in the FA Cup and hopefully they’ll do the same in the Champions League. I feel unclean saying that but needs must. Other than the fans there’s not much to dislike about Chelsea currently. There isn’t one player there who jumps out as being a twat. Remember when their entire team was full of them? Now they’re a fairly inoffensive bunch. Sure, Tuchel looks like a paedo but if I’m being entirely truthful here it wouldn’t matter if Chelsea were managed by Jimmy Saville and captained by Gary Glitter, I’d still want them to beat Man City. Still, a Chelsea / City final is just about the worst thing that could have happened other than an all Manc final obviously. This season is just one nightmare after another. At least Everton are still shit though. Despite appointing a proven world class manager, spending a truckload of cash the last couple of years and running up huge debts in the process, they’re no better than they were before. Their home form is rivalling ours its been so bad. They seem to lose every time they play at Goodison and their latest loss was to a Villa side still without Grealish. What’s up with him? He was back in training before they played us but still isn’t back. That Holgate tit was caught in possession by Watkins for the opener. He’s been a great signing and the best thing about him is he always looks so fucking hungry for goals. He’s just a real livewire and must be a pain in the arse to play against. He’s a pest, a bit like Vardy albeit he’s a different type of player. The Blues levelled through Dominic Calvert-Lewin. You might remember him. He won the Golden Boot at the same time Everton won the title back in September. Simple header at the back post and that was dreadful from Villa’s perspective. Barkley’s marking was shameful and I don’t know what the keeper was doing there either. Making himself look small, Brad Jones style. Villa created loads of chances and finally took one when El Ghazi bent one in from the edge of the box to win it with ten minutes to go. I see Richarlison hasn’t scored for two months. Him regularly being picked by Brazil bothers me massively and just makes me want Brazil to lose, even though we’ve got three lads in their squad too. It offends me because they should be better than that. Someone like him shouldn’t be getting games for Brazil but then this is what they do. It’s a Brazilian tradition that there’s always some chump in their squad who nobody thinks should be anywhere near it. It’s like they do it for a bet. Maybe it started because they were so much better than everyone else and wanted to make it more interesting? They need to fuck it off now though because they aren’t that good anymore. Usually these puddings up front have a traditional British name like Jo or Fred, so I think the only satisfactory compromise here is if Richarlison changes his name to Bert or Alf just to avoid any confusion and ensure everyone knows exactly why he is in the squad. Or he could just call himself “Cunt” as that’s what everyone else calls him. Leicester failed to take advantage of the latest in a long line of refereeing howlers as they were held to a draw by ten man Southampton. Vestergaard was red carded after just ten minutes when he took a bad touch and then had to stretch to get the ball away from Vardy. He got the ball and caught Vardy on the ankle with the follow through. A painful one for sure, but a red card? Fuck off. Apparently the red was for denying a clear goalscoring opportunity rather than serious foul play. It would have been less ridiculous if they had said it was for the latter, as not even Vardy was catching that ball before it reached the keeper. Predictably, it has since been overturned which again makes a mockery of this whole system. If you’re having to overturn decisions that have already been made by officials looking at video replays then something is fucked. That being said, Southampton’s centre backs are absolutely shite though and it’s therefore no surprise that things like this keep happening to them. Bet they keep a clean sheet against us this weekend though. Nailed on. Ward-Prowse gave the ten men the lead from the spot after that Iheanacho cunt had handled. No debating that, absolute stonewall pen, although I’d be saying that even if it hadn’t hit him at all as I despise the twat. Evans equalised but this was two points dropped by Leicester and it feels like Vardy hasn’t scored for about six months now. In theory Leicester not winning is good for us as mathematically we can still catch them. It’s defo not happening though so I’d rather they got their act together and went and got second place ahead of the Mancs. Meanwhile, Gareth Bale’s pre-season preparations for the Euros continued to progress nicely as he slotted a hat-trick against relegated Sheffield United. Fucking brilliant finishes too. His celebrations haven't imp[roved while he's been away though. Annoying twat. Speaking of which, Son made it 4-0 with a cracker of his own. Spurs look like they’re enjoying themselves post-Mourinho. Dele Alli has been out of the picture so long that he’s grown dreadlocks and looks completely unrecognisable now. The last time I saw him he had short hair and now he’s sporting a 2019 Origi. He’s literally like a new signing. The Blades have only scored 18 goals all season. The record low is 20 and they’re definitely threatening that. Still no goal for Brewster who must be stressed out to fuck as this season has brought him crashing down to earth with a huge bump. It must be incredibly difficult for him to deal with this as he’s scored goals his whole life and has been told from a young age he’d be a superstar. Now reality is biting hard. Newcastle lost at home to Arsenal but they’re more or less safe anyway so it didn’t matter. Elneny and Aubamayeng got the goals and Schar was sent off for a bad tackle. Bad enough for a red card? No, but when Mike Dean is the one wielding the cards this goes with the territory. Onto Monday now and West Brom took another step towards the Championship by failing to beat Wolves in the Black Country derby. Can we even call it a derby when there aren’t any fans there? I don’t think we can you know. It’s just another game when there’s no crowd. Fans make derby games. There was no more intensity to this game than there would have been if Wolves were playing Southampton or if West Brom were facing Spurs. Footy without fans is shit and derby games without fans are even worse. Fabio Silva gave Wolves the lead with a scabby deflected effort but Diang headed in the equaliser. The Baggies need to win all four remaining games and then need a miracle. One of those games is against us. If we lose that one then everybody needs to be sacked. Finally, West Ham’s top four hopes are still alive after a gritty win at Turf Moor. Chris Wood won and converted a pen to give the Clarets an early advantage but two goals from Antonio won it for the Hammers. You know what would be funny? If they overhauled Chelsea and got fourth, only for Chelsea to win the CL and Arsenal win the Europa League. That would leave Moyes holding his own cock in the Europa League and their tory cunt owners counting all the lost millions. Actually no, I take it back. Any scenario that sees those fucking losers Arsenal back door their way into the Champions League is not the least bit funny. I’d rather see United lifting the trophy than those fucking losers spawn their way into the Champions League. But given how everything has gone this season I think it’s nailed on that City are winning the Champions League and Arsenal are going to do their wedding crashers act like they did with the Super League.