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Had my two year old grandson in our garden this afternoon, so happy now. It was bloody cold but he was so excited to see us. Good times, he’s had two doorstep visits since Christmas so he couldn’t believe he could come in today (obviously straight through into the garden)

A lot of positives tonight, but probably the best was not having to listen to Jamie Carragher.

BT Sport in full 'it can only happen in the Premier League' mode. Joe Cole: "This says to Thomas Tuchel this isn't the Bundesliga or Ligue 1." Cringe.

59 mins dead for 10k today. Only 2nd time run 10k - last time was 1.02 so really made up!

I didn’t agree at the time, but anyone who thought we should have kept him in midfield all season was right. He makes our centre halves much better, whatever the pairing is. Ridiculous footballer.

His movement reminds me a lot of a young Robbie Fowler. Great anticipator, quick reactions, pick that out son.

Fuck. Ing. Beautiful, that. Great results all round today. I also cooked awesome fillet steak and drank bloody Maries and I'm now balls deep into a fantastic bottle of malbec. Worra day.

Absolutely smashed these tonight. Fuck yeah. Malbec'd off my tits too.

Emily Booth

The team that won the league won all six of the six game run in. Yermam finished 10 points off the pace, tailing off pathetically with 2 losses and 4 draws. It was there for the fucking taking. I guess at the end of the day, when all is said and done after 38 games, you’ve just got to say to The Golden Eel, fuck off you spawny cunt.

The bottle job to end all bottle jobs.

This guy’s phenomenal in the same way that Firmino, Mane and Salah are and have been. Whoever scouts our attacking players is just lacking that wee bit of nothing.

I am all-in on Phillips-Kabak as our centre back pairing for the next decade.

Crack open the bisto lads.... big Sam’s back

I can hook you up with a moody Chinese one if you want, Bobby? You’ll be on the Huawei network though, and not the official Gates platform, through I’m sure some enterprising scamps will find a patch at some point.

Aye, our 13 year old was alright in the first lockdown but she’s spent a lot of time either side of Christmas locked away in her bedroom, culminating recently in lots of huffing and puffing when we’ve had the temerity to ask her to do something and a general reluctance to spend time with anyone else in the family. Being a nasty bitch at times too. At first I was happy enough to put it down to lockdown stress and teenage girl hormones but a couple of weeks ago I’d had enough and saw my arse about it. After a fucking almighty telling off we sat her down, told her we appreciated that Covid has made things crap but reminded her of everything she has, everything she gets, how privileged she is compared to some others and how we don’t have to allow her to have any of those things. Seems to have done the trick. For now anyway. She’s back downstairs playing Switch with us, coming on walks to the park and not speaking to the rest of us like we’re cunts. Like a breath of fresh air.

Save the best til last. Anyway, 9 Mile - Eminem goes the extra mile

I really wish we had given this lad a go much earlier instead of crippling our midfield

Great result tonight. Fuck me though, arsenal were utter shit with absuolte zero ambition even though the "handbrake was off" Fabinho deservedly MOTM but thought Thiago was brilliant tonight as well. Kept things ticking over but really showed his combatitive side, refusing to be bullied off the ball and seemed to love the physical aspect in the middle of the park yet revelled in deft touches and spraying the ball everywhere. Special mention to Jota for obvious reasons as I don't think we really looked like scoring before he came on and loves TAA's celebrating the assist for the first. Stream roller these fuckers for the remaining games.

What a bizarre season. Who would have thought that the biggest loss we had from injury wasn't losing van Dijk, but having to move Fabinho out of midfield? He's back where he's supposed to be and we look almost as good as we ever did, even with a Championship-level player replacing van Dijk.

@The Golden Eel

He'd probably get into any side in history in the 6. We should be embarrassed at how we used him for 6 months.

Where’s your fucking yellow card for that you cunt, that was worse than Jota

Fabinho is so good.

Save by seaman.

Mikel Arteta has very black hair. Even the white bits are black.

People who moan about Thiago are honestly clueless. He’s so good.

I was just about to post that. Both parties, Tories and Lib Dems have got blood on their hands and that same blood is on the hands of those that voted and continue to vote for them. Cutting benefits, forcing very sick and disabled people to jump through hoops for benefits and reassessing them over and over again causing huge amounts of stress even when they know some of these people have progressive illnesses. I read of one fella who was terminally ill with stomach cancer who was passed fit for work on one of these assessments. I think it was quashed on appeal, but why put him through it in the first place?.I My point is, people are so desperate and so despairing they sometimes only see one way out, and the response to these incidents is the usual glib ' unfortunately we cannot comment on individual cases but our thoughts are with the family and friends at this difficult time'. Cunts. Every one of them.

Unnecessary challenge by Norris - Gave the referee a decision to make, and we all know about the standards of officials in this country...

And forget it a couple hours later...

PSG lost at home to Nantes a fortnight ago. Bayern drew 3-3 with 2nd bottom about a month ago. AND IT'S LIVE.

A very, very unexpected bonus.

We told Citeh we wanted £50m for Sterling. We got £49m. Citeh showing us how to negotiate there.

Sian Massey is the best lino in the premier league I don't think I've seen her get a decision wrong. She deserves a shot at the refs job no doubt.

Hiding those mangled trotters there, sneaky catfish.

She’s a scouser. She’ll be bang into IPTV & Kodi.

It’s funny how people think we “allow” these players like Bellingham to go to other clubs as if they have no say in their own future. A few intelligent players or their advisors have realised how beneficial it is at a younger age to go to a weaker league where they can start games and let the hype build. Sancho is an absolute nap to come back to the prem at some point and be absolutely Shite. In an alternate universe Minamino went to Leipzig for his release clause, banged a load of goals in and some genius on TLW is slagging the club for not paying his stupidly low release clause.

What's this football malarkey people are going on about ?

How the fuck do I get this vaccine. Says I'm not eligible meanwhile all these old bastards are walking around like cock of the earth.

A well-known political philosopher wrote a book about the issues with this and Amazon banned it from being sold because he raised some of the issues you're talking about here, citing several studies of people who received puberty blockers. They sell Mein Kampf, but heaven forbid we even question this particular issue! I didn't read it, and I'm not certain I would have agreed with his conclusions, but it's actually rather frightening to me that a private company can essentially use their massive platform to remove someone else's speech. I mean, he's free to sell it elsewhere, but what happens the next time someone approaches a publisher to say they'd like to write a book about this issue? No chance any publisher is going to put something out that won't be carried by Amazon!

Liverpool home, away and third kits should be in our traditional colours every season. Kit manufacturers have been messing with our change strips for years now, though, so I’ve long since accepted it. However, fucking with our home colours is a step too far.

Haven't felt too bad today after my jab last night. Woke up abut 2am sweating a bit but cold, went straight back to sleep though and haven't felt too bad today. Slightly lethargic if anything and a bit achy. I feel like I'm in Wolf of Wall St waiting for them old ludes to kick in.

On a lighter note, My daughter came round yesterday with her 3 little ones who are 6, 4, and 2. We all sat in the back with my Grandkids playing and they had a ball. It was the first time in a year and it was lovely. I had to go inside for a bit though as my eyes were getting a bit watery because of the 'pollen'. Hearing them playing and laughing is one of my greatest pleasures. I'd missed it, I just didn't realise how much. What a day.

He does like to sniff himself a lot.

Southgate is a cunt.