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I had a few of these style try-ons last summer. Always follow the same template. Matched them on one of the apps, asked me to take it to what’s app immediately, started issuing demands there and then that I delete my app account and form a serious relationship with them. Oddly, I wasn’t convinced, and decided to have a bit of fun with it. Anyway, this is the sort of thing which eventuated, until ‘she’ started getting very annoyed. Really helped pass the tedium of shielding alone if I’m honest, just hoping the Albanian mafia can’t use GPS to trace my locati...

We're winning tonight, so naturally there's no sign of @TheAllMy-TyReds

Do you not think as we were top of the league at Christmas, there's a pretty reasonable argument that if they gave a fuck, we'd have brought in a decent centre back on Jan 1st? It feels to me every window people say "it'll be different in then next window, it has to be" and this includes when we were spending the coutinho money as everybody had been led to believe by the journalists there was more money there than just what we were bringing in in sales, we were "just keeping our powder dry, waiting for the right player" - that was brought out of the whole VVD myth, which wasn't waiting for the right player, it was just we massively fucked up the transfer and instead of taking weeks it took half a year while we played nicely so not to get fucked by the PL. I have zero expectation of any level of investment in the team unless we miraculously fund raise from selling shite like origi.

It feels like we've become the last acceptable place for people who carry that great burden known as hate to let it out on, the emphasis on acceptable. Society has denied them the right to call anyone from the middle east a Paki to use the "N" word or call a gay person a fag without consequences...thankfully. I'm not saying the abuse is comparable to any of those things just about the need some have for their hate to be expressed. Oh no! "always the victim" hoisted by my own petard. The language directed at Liverpool the city the last few years has often left me laughing at just how venomous it's been and then there's football last season the amount of other clubs football fans who have zero rivalry with Liverpool desperate for null and void yet strangely quiet for the far worse second wave, not a whimper. If you were arsed what other people thought you'd be terrified to display sympathy because "self pity city" if you've been a victim of injustice, fight for your rights or even have the audacity to complain you're "always the victim". A "section" of Everton fans going along with it completely oblivious to the fact that they mean them too and if their club has more success theyll be the focal point for that hate, no longer the little pet who justifies it all. Most of it is probably a consequence of banning The Sun the nations propaganda outlet of choice for a long time. People who've never been to the city happy to declare their hate for it and its people, christ they almost take pride in it. These people just associate with football and places though, pretty much the same group of people probably voice their hate behind a username on all manner of comment sections on various subjects and individuals only happy if they're bringing someone else down, spreading their misery to the masses. I dont even know why I've bothered to write this because I'm not even that arsed. It makes me laugh more than anything. That group is embarrassingly pitiful its borderline hilarious. Wallow in that shared hate I'm sure its good for the soul. I mean I'm a Liverpool fan my missus is a Manc a lot of her family are United season ticket holders if I had the mentality of these people I'd of denied myself the company of some of the best people I've ever met and why? because of a game where men kick a ball or for believing a stereotype, believing for one second that it's possible for people to be "they're all the same". Anyway fuck em, if like attracts like and misery loves company they're welcome to each other.

It's Blind Scouse

Game management now, it's all about that game management. Manage my game.

I’ve worked over 70 hours this week. Was due to finish at 8 this morning after a 24 hour shift and the plan was to come home, quickly empty my balls, have a kip and then spend the day chilling out in the kitchen, cooking a roast with a few glasses of red and G&T’s. Cunt taking over from me this morning rang in sick, I can’t leave unless a meds trained member of staff is here so stayed on until 1 o’clock. I get home to her happily announce she’s boxed up loads of shit and has found someone on Facebook taking donations who then spreads it around her local community. I call bollocks, she argues against it and insists we take a dozen boxes of toys, books, CD’s and DVD’s to this ‘charity’ she found on Facebook. I then have to clear the boot out, put the back seats down and load the car. “Don’t be so miserable, it’s only over the road and you’re helping poor people”. 8 miles down the A38 she gets us lost as she knows where she’s going but they’ve changed the name of the road... Finally find this place and it screams crack den just parking on the same street. I tell her it’s bollocks and it’s a scam. I’m again told I’m a miserable cunt with no social conscience (she voted for Nick fucking Clegg!). I empty the car, lump everything up to this shithole to be answered by the dictionary definition of two brownheads. I look at Claire and just walk off. I’m sat in the car waiting for her and can see she’s talking to them for a good few minutes before she comes back. She gets in the car and says “I don’t think they are running a charity, I think you should go back and ask for it all back”.

Thats how i got the mrs into dogging

I always see posts on social media groups from fans of no mark clubs going on about how they hate Liverpool as a club so much. Villa, Forest and Leicester fans seem to hate the club and the city in equal measure. Yet none of them seem to hate Man City or Chelsea for their endless spending which makes it virtually impossible for their shitty clubs to win even the odd league cup every 10 years. No one seems to mind Man Utd fucking the FA Cup off years ago or their endless bullying of referees, Alex Ferguson being a snide petty twat and them throwing money left right and centre at everything. Heysel seems to have been hijacked by loads of twats to have a go at Liverpool, even if their clubs were not affected by the ban. You'll see posts by dickhead fans of cockney clubs bragging about smashing places up or fighting with some other knobhead firm then 2 minutes later they are slagging Liverpool off for Heysel and getting English clubs banned. You would also think that Liverpool is the only place in Britain that has unemployment and crime with a few run down areas. There's parts of London, Manchester and the Midlands that are fucking awful that I've been to. Last I read Liverpool wasnt even in the top 10 places for crime but because it has a bad reputation 30 odd years ago it's still ok to bang on about it. There's a lot of things wrong with the city but it's easily identifiable by the accent and the fact that the city isn't a Tory Brexiteer bootlicker enclave like most of the country is now which probably winds a load of the flag waving twats up.

A win, 2 goals and a clean sheet, what more could you want? So all the hyperventilating before the game was wasted hot air, you think? Jon Moss is a fat twat. seriously, how is he still reffing? Why were sheffield united players allowed to stand 1 yard in front of our free kicks? Twice they did it stopping us playing the ball forward and twice the fat cunt did nothing? I know there's all these concerns about concusion but why are we stopping games when heads havent clashed and the player losing the ball flops to the ground holding his head? Ive seen that in a couple of the games today. Ampadu lost out to Sadio, there's no clash of heads yet he's laid on the ground holding his head like there has. The boys deserved the win tonight. It wasnt pretty or good, expansive football. It was more grinding out the goals. Finally, Curtis decided to chance his arm with a shot and what do you know? A goal! Good work by Trent cutting the ball back just before it went over the line. I was a tad surprised they didnt try andmake out it was out. Bobby even got in on the act and even though it took a deflection, it's his goal. I dont care if it's going wide, it's his goal. Adrian in goal did everything asked of him. I think Gini MoTM, nothing stand out but a solid performance and might even have grabbed a goal himself. Robbo really needs to learn to lean over the ball when striking it, He really should have scored with that strike in the 2nd half. A big game on Thursday now looms and really, we need 3 points from it.

The crowd sound guy's been on the ale then

Keeper is not having a worldie he’s saved shots that are piss poor so far

We’ve been alright. Created well more than in recent games. Sheff Utd are shit obviously but so are a lot of teams we’ve struggled against. They’ve not got much going forward but can defend. We’ve actually been creating chances. Bobby’s finishing is Shite but his overall game along with Mane and Salah has been fine. We are clearly playing different tactics are going into the forward a lot quicker which means they’ve got to work harder which they are. It’s funny watching everyone moan about the side to side boring football we’ve played and we change it and everyone is still moaning about it. The performance have been fairly good.

Adrian making everything look difficult.

Remember when we signed our head of recovery in Jan and the Athletic said he would be our key signing. Then everyone just got injured still. Halcyon days.

Yeah, ok mate.

Achtung Baby and Dolittle. Take Bono the persona out of the equation and AB is a great album. If we're basing voting decisions on singers being a bit of a knobhead then nobody would be voting for The Smiths.

Neil Young had/has a great voice, in my opinion.

Every single husband or long term boyfriend is now shaking his head, not in disbelief, but in sheer wonderment that you've not buried her under the patio.

Exactly. Cometh the hour....

Iunno. Thyroid condition probably.

If we don't get in the CL, they will use the excuse that it is difficult to get people due to this and Covid. If we do get CL, they will use the excuse that it is difficult to get people due to Euros and Covid. Win, win.

Good. Bastards.

The garbage these papers just come out with. It must be so easy being a journalist these days. Just throw in a ‘believed to be’ or a ‘could’ and you’re immediately absolving yourself of any requirement to check sources or put your reputation on the line. Of course they’d consider Gerrard if Klopp left, doesn’t mean he’d get it. It’s all bollocks though, I’d love to know which manager in world football would have coped with the injuries we’ve had. Last year Man City got slack because Laporte was out for a lot of the season, we’ve had about 5 or 6 first 11 players missing for massive chunks at the same time. It’s ridiculous.

“You risked your life to fight for our family.” Beyond parody.

Lady Gaga can fuck off.

They'll only buy drugs or alcohol with it, you're better sending them a sandwich.

Is give Klopp a contract for life the little shit stirring cunts. Success in the Scottish league doesn't impress me. Are we not done with the nostalgic appointments by now, no lessons learnt. Gerrard is a legend it doesn't mean that grants him the job.

My favourite thing about the Simon & Garfunkel album is putting my thumb over Paul Simon's face so it looks like Art Garfunkel has a massive Cossack style muzzie.

I went to my local barbers yesterday. For the last year my missus has been cutting my hair. Before that it had been some proper old school place with a Bolivian fella that charged six euros (he apologised to everyone when he put it up from five). He employs two others. A middle aged Pakistani man who hasn't really bothered to learn Spanish and is made up when I'm there as he can speak to someone in his particular brand of English (I have no idea what he's saying bar picking out the names of the odd 1980s Pakistani cricketer). His other employee is a young local lad who turns up late every day then has a kip in one of the seats and routinely has to be jolted back to live in order to actually cut someone's hair. Anyway, this scene of serenity sadly ended with covid. I think it has been open for some of the last year but as I no longer live in the city I didn't fancy, and at times was restricted from, travelling. So yesterday, after the missus finally decided she couldn't be fucked to do it any more, I ventured in to a place in my town. The more "old man" type places which I would feel considerably more comfortable in are apparently all pretty slack re covid measures so I was stuck with braving it and going somewhere a bit more "modern". Having made an appointment the previous day, I turned up and was greeted by "Saúl" who had what appeared to be a giant iced gem on his head. He had two other lads, neither of whom looked older than about 13, cutting hair as well. The three people having their hair cut, all aged between about 16 and 21, were all having exactly the same hair cut done - Peaky Cunt, I imagine it's called. The older of the two children ended up cutting my hair and having made it abundantly clear that if he makes me look anything like his previous customer I'll disembowel him with his own scissors, he reluctantly agreed and set about giving me pretty much the same haircut my missus does but in about a quarter of the time. I felt about 83 in there. The music, the conversations about some famous TikTok cunt, and of course the identikit League One footballer haircuts. Hideous.

In Robin Hood Prince of Thieves when one of the Nottingham soldiers says "hold thy fire" in relation to a bow and arrow, even though the term relates specifically to gunpowder weapons. It's not even on telly but I'm just sat here now simmering.

"Winner, winner chicken dinner."

Phillips has impressed me every time I've seen him. Deserves a run in the team.

Made up for Jones. Boss payer only going to get better.

Can people lay off Bobby now please

Celebrate and it gets rules out. Don't celebrate as you're convinced it went out and it doesn't.

His one touch pass to put Mo through was pure class. His finishing isn’t, but how about giving some fucking credit to the lad where it’s due.

Dinner time Mrs. Beardsley.

Looking forward to this. The thread that is.

I'm at a point where I expect to lose every game and anything else is a bonus. Wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if we lose

They'll be too busy drinking adrenochrome to be arsed.

That sounds exactly like something that Savile or Weinstein would say.

‘Bin dippers’. Jesus. Talk about lack of self awareness. Working class fans are joining together to donate to food banks, Manchester and Dublin have some of the most impoverished towns in Europe. Mancs- ‘you eat out of a bin lolzzz’ (and the word ‘dippers’ makes me want to barf. Like ‘muppet’)