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Saturday Nov 21: David Coote is at it again. What he did in that United game today was just… I don’t even know what to say. He’s either the worst official in history or he’s bent as fuck. Only part of that circus today was on him though. This nonsense about keepers coming off their line a fraction early on pens is purely a result of technology. I’m not saying it’s leading to incorrect decisions, but it’s just overkill though isn’t it? It’s like, we’ve got this technology so now we can examine every fucking thing to the tiniest degree. They’ve sucked all the joy out of the game. Football is in an absolute mess and we’re at a crossroads. The standard of refereeing is genuinely appalling but it seems to me that it’s providing a smokescreen for the real problem. VAR. Now, I’m partially on board with the view that the technology isn’t the reason for all of this controversy we’re seeing every week. The technology wasn’t the problem at Goodison for example. That was Oliver and Coote. In general though, every week we’re seeing two, three, four sometimes even more matches negatively affected by decisions made via the use of VAR. It doesn’t even matter in most cases if the decision is right or not, it’s just ruining the whole experience of watching footy. You can’t celebrate goals anymore because half the time they’re reviewed. Doesn’t even matter if they’re given or or not, the moment is ruined. So that’s fucking shit. Then you have the super slo mo replays, and the busy bastard traffic warden approach to making decisions based on the fucking tiniest of margins. It’s all well and good saying the video isn’t the problem, but it kind of is really because without it refs and linesman are making decisions based on what they see. Of course that leads to mistakes but is that really worse than what we’re seeing every week now? We still get mistakes now (feels like even more than before) but even the correct decisions are often leaving everyone angry and frustrated. Offsides based on whatever part of the arm they decide the lines should be drawn from, handballs based on slowing replays down to almost a standstill, penalty decisions likewise. We’ve actually had more controversy since it was brought in than we had before. The reason I say we’re at a crossroads is because if we don’t scrap this soon then we’re stuck with it forever and football will never go back to how it was before. You’ll have a whole generation who have grown up with this and think it’s normal, and once that happens it’s all over. It needs scrapping but the only way it will happen is if the fans, clubs, players, everyone stand together and say “it doesn’t work, it’s killing the game, get rid of it”. Will that happen? Nope. Basically they’re slowly killing footy and turning it into a TV show. Because the match going experience is being ruined by this shit. It’s hard enough watching it on TV, but when you’re in the stadium and all this bollocks is going on it’s horrible. Imagine being a West Brom fan inside Old Trafford today. Fucking hell. Ironically it was West Brom’s experience at Anfield that had me against VAR from the start. I saw how their fans and players didn’t know whether to celebrate one of their goals and immediately I knew it wasn’t for me. I’d rather have wrong decisions that right ones if this is the price we pay for them. Sunday Nov 22: L 3 Leicester 0. That was great wasn’t it? It had the feeling of an upset about it but the lads were never going to let that happen. The performance was outstanding, our best of the season so far I’d say. We defended great as a team and the forwards looked good. Nice to see Bobby looking like himself again. No wonder all the lads were so made up for him getting his goal. Hopefully that’s him back on track now. It’s the other end of the pitch that’s the real concern, despite how well we did today. There was a report today (from Simon Hughes I think?) that we had a shortlist of four centre halves for next summer and that we’ll only strengthen in January if we can bring one of those deals forward. The obvious solution here is to send Keita back to Leipzig in part ex for Upamecano. Assuming they’d have him back of course. It just seems fairly clear that it’s not going to happen for him here. It isn’t meant to be. He’s a good player and it should have worked out, but he’s always injured and has had rotten luck pretty much since day one. And ask yourself this. If all of our midfielders were fit and available, where would you have him in the pecking order? Right now I’m picking Fabinho, Hendo, Gini, Thiago, Curtis, Milner and Ox ahead of him. I might even go with Shaq over him too. And if Grujic wasn’t out on loan, maybe him as well. In an ideal world I wouldn’t let anyone leave in January, but if money is tight then I’d happily sacrifice him to bolster the defence. Klopp went off on one afterwards about how the TV companies are screwing over the clubs who are in European competition. Incredibly, there are some who don’t get it and he’s getting shit for being a ‘moaner’. Actually it’s not so incredible, as the ones who don’t get it are the ones who aren’t in Europe and therefore don’t give a flying fuck if they have to play at 12.30 on a Saturday because why would they? Klopp is right, just like Solskjaer was right when he kicked off over it a few weeks back. Lampard will be right if he complains, so will Baldiola. It’s really not that difficult to arrange the fixtures in a way that isn’t fucking over the teams who are flying the flag for this league in Europe. If you play in Europe on the Wednesday, then make it a Sunday kick off or even a Saturday 5.30. Every game is televised currently so does it really matter who has the time slot? Klopp’s argument is that BT and Sky should work together on this and not be so fucking rigid on who has what time slot. Again, why can’t they just swap? If BT have a CL side scheduled for their 12.30 slot, why can’t Sky switch one of their Sunday games into that spot and BT have the Sunday one? These are unprecedented times and everyone is having to make sacrifices. The TV companies have made them too as I’m sure their revenues have been hit in some ways, but they really could be helping out here. Instead they’re making things even harder than they already are. But then this is perfect for them isn’t it, as it stops us running away with and makes the league much more competitive. If Brighton beat us next weekend that’s better for BT than us having a routine win. So Klopp is wasting his breath. I mean fucking hell, Sky didn’t even air that part of the interview. Monday Nov 23: And not only did they not air it, they’re actively trying to get it taken down from youtube so people can’t hear it. I mean what’s the point? Just accept the criticism or respond to it. Don’t try and censor it, you overly sensitive fucks. This is virtually an admission that they know they’re wrong. If they had nothing to feel bad about they’d just let him have his say and then dispute it. Mind you, Sky aren’t the ones making CL teams play at 12.30 on a Saturday as that time slot is BT. Presumably Klopp’s beef with Sky is that they are unwilling to swap time slots with BT? Sky’s argument will be that they paid more than BT for the prime time slots. The 12.30 spot was one they used to have but BT wouldn’t pay for the 5.30 one and went for the cheaper 12.30 one instead, so Sky got the more expensive evening slot. Klopp is having a go at the TV networks for not working together. In an ideal world they would, but there’s just nothing in it for them so they don’t give a fuck about Klopp’s problems or those of Solskjaer or anyone else. Meanwhile, there was some rumour recently that Gini was close to signing a new deal but it seems that it was a false alarm. Honestly, this is doing my fucking head in now. Unless he wants to leave (which might be the case, who knows), then it’s fucking madness not paying him what he wants and extending him. He plays every week, does exactly the job he’s told to do, he’s great in the dressing room and he’s in his prime now. He’s got two or three years in him at this level at the very least so give him a new deal. I’m baffled by it to be honest. It’s got that Emre Can feel about it except that was a situation where you could understand both parties. Big Sexy wanted big money because he knew he could get it from Juve. We weren’t going to pay him more than he was worth and I think most people were fine with the situation. This isn’t that. Gini has more than earned a nice payday here as he’s been the lowest paid member of the team for years now. Maybe he wants a change of scenery but why would you? If we offer him what he’s worth, surely he’ll sign? I’m getting more and more annoyed by this by the day. Tuesday Nov 24: Bad News Pearce delivers the team news ahead of tomorrow and lo and behold, still no Thiago. This is one of the weirdest injury sagas I can ever remember. Klopp never gives anything away in press conferences but when he speaks with LFCTV he’s always more open and engaging because it’s like he always says, everyone at the club is part of the family, including the website / tv guys. His post match interviews with Peter McDowell are completely different to when you see him on BT or Sky. Anyway, McDowell asked him about Thiago following the Leicester game and you could see how frustrated Klopp was. Not with the question itself, but with the situation. He basically said he knows as much (or as little) as the rest of us do and that every day he comes in hoping to see Thiago back in full training, and every day the docs tell him he’s not ready. Unless I’ve missed it, they haven’t actually said what the injury even is. Just that it was a result of being kicked on the knee by that cunt Richarlison. Klopp did say it needed rest rather than surgery, but if it hasn’t cleared up after all this time maybe it’s going to end up going down the surgery route after all? I fucking hope not. From the little taster we’ve had of Thiago so far, I’m struggling to remember a player I’ve been looking forward to seeing play regularly than him. Wednesday Nov 25: Oh fucking hell. Not Diego. 2020 is the fucking worst isn’t it? Maradona dying is the fly on top of the turd. It’s not a huge surprise as he’s had so many health scares and his lifestyle was never conducive to a long life, but it still hit me quite hard. I loved Maradona. I even mentioned it last week in the diary, or maybe it was the week before. Definitely recently anyway. It was his 60th recently and when he was asked what he’d like if he could have anything he said he’d like to score against England with his right hand this time. Shilton’s big fucking stupid head will have exploded at that. I love Diego anyway but knowing how much he still makes Shilton miserable all these years later just adds to it. To me Maradona is and always will be the greatest. People can make cases for Pele and Messi (no one else though) and it’s all subjective so I’m not saying they’re wrong. I just think Maradona was unique. It was the whole package. Maradona is by far the most iconic footballer who ever lived. If you want to argue that Messi is a better player then have at it. His goal tally and trophy haul make it a worthwhile argument. I don’t agree Messi is better but sure, it’s a worthy discussion. In terms of the impact made on the game though, Maradona is out on his own. He was bigger than God in both Naples and Argentina. Messi has never had that status. The mistakes Maradona made and the trouble he got into only adds to it all. Everything he did was headline news because he was the biggest star in the history of the game. Look at the reaction today. Will Messi get that when he eventually dies (and hopefully that's not for a long, long time)? I doubt it. Maradona just impacted so many people's lives for one reason or another. Maradona was just larger than life. He just made people smile no matter what he was doing. I’ve written before about how I watched that WC Quarter Final in 86 wearing an Argentina kit and rooting for Maradona. When it finished I went out in the garden with the ball and was pretending to be him, dribbling round cones and pretending they were Peter Reid, Terry Fenwick, Steve Hodge, Terry Butcher and all those other losers who tried to kick him out of the game and failed. And this was before I would actively root against England. I wasn’t supporting Argentina because I hate England (as I would do in years that followed), it was because I loved Maradona. I had that boss Napoli shirt with Mars on it too. Then in later years when he wasn’t playing anymore, I just loved watching him whatever he was doing. He was always into something, saying something hilarious or dancing or having his coaching staff block the camera while he snorted coke on the touchline. There was never a dull moment with Maradona and the world just got a little bit shitter today. Oh yeah, we played tonight and lost 2-0. I have nothing further to add. Thursday Nov 26: There’s a report today we’ve bid £27m for Perr Schuurs, a 20 year Ajax centre back. I assume he’s the kid who played against us and everyone said he was the new De Ligt. I’m dismissing this rumour on the basis that we aren’t signing a 20 year old kid to ‘solve our defensive crisis’. Anyone we sign in January has to be ready to plug in and play. At the other end of the scale is 34 year old free agent Ezekiel Garay, who is also being linked with us. That’s not happening either, because he’s just not a good fit. Still, I’d say a short term deal for him is more likely then us spending £27m on a player for the future though. He’s Argentinian so I’m in. Some good news today as fans are going to be back inside Anfield soon. Not many, but some. Some figures today are suggesting 2,000 which almost seems pointless to me. I would have though at lest double that, but it’s a start I guess. I won’t be one of them as if it’s only 2,000 there’s no way I’ll be getting one as I’m assuming it will go on proximity to Anfield. I’m not THAT far away but there’s no way I’d qualify for that. I really can’t wait to get back, but I’m not sure I’d even want to be going if there was only a couple of thousand. I miss Anfield. I miss YNWA. I miss seeing the pitch when I walk up the steps. I miss the buzz. The noise. The way the place erupts when we score. I miss catching up with the lads before the game and talking about how we think it’s going to go. Most of that is only happening when we get a full stadium again though. Meanwhile, Lucas Digne is ruled out for two months with an ankle injury. Just waiting for Ancelotti to say in his press conference that it’s a delayed reaction to a challenge by Van Dijk in the derby. Finally today, it’s announced that we’re going to be on Amazon Prime three times in December, and one of those games is a 12.30 kick off on Saturday after a weekend game. So add Amazon to Klopp’s shitlist now alongside Sky and BT. He’s right, they don’t give a fuck because people are going to watch it no matter what, and if we lose it just makes the league more interesting. We’re not getting any favours so may as well just get used to it. Friday Nov 27: Klopp is asked for fitness updates on Henderson and Thiago. He spoke about Hendo, then said the rest of the squad were on a recovery day and he completely ignored the question on Thiago. It just isn’t good this is it? Will we ever see him again? Fucking dirty Everton bastards. He was asked about Gini too. He compared it to the Emre Can situation which annoyed me. Yeah, there is a similarity there and I agree that Can continued to give us all he had right up until his last day here, but the big fella was expendable. No-one was that arsed he was leaving and the truth is hardly anyone will have given him a second thought since. Gini is way more important than that. Klopp said “I cannot really say a lot about that but would be happy if he would stay here. I am pretty happy with Gini as you can see when you look at most of the line-ups! Gini is one of the best people I have ever met and he is one of the best players I've ever trained and he is an outstanding person so there is no issue, no issue at all.” So what’s the fucking problem here? Pay the man, and if it’s not about money and he just wants a new challenge, then tell us. Oh that video the club put out today with Sadio and the lad with Downs. Fuck me, that was so good and so emotional. I didn’t cry but I came close. Timo and Lee are incredible and it’s class that Sadio could see it. You could see how genuinely impressed he was with the work they do, and fair play to Nivea Men for organising that and paying for he delivery van. There’s so much shitty stuff going in the world right now it was a nice welcome little relief seeing I’ve been thinking about Maradona a lot today. I just feel sad. Not specifically about his death, but just a general nostalgic thing really. I was thinking about some of the most iconic figures to me when I was growing up. Maradona, Payne Stewart (RIP), Eddie Murphy (still going strong thankfully), Madonna (still hot to me, always will be), Jon Bon Jovi (immortal)… They’re either dead or old and it fucking sucks. It just brings home to me that I’m well into the back nine of life now. I’ll miss Maradona. It’s not like he was a regular part of our day to day life, but there was always something popping up on Twitter about whatever mad shit he’d been up to, or old footage I’d never seen before about mad shit he’d got up to in the past. I’d always show it to Adrianna and she buzzed off him too. He was just a massive character and the world is definitely a bit duller without El Diego. and that was the week that was….

The biggest game of the weekend was obviously us v Leicester as firstly, it was us and we’re always the biggest game of any weekend, and secondly it was 3rd v 4th, or at least it was at the time we played. Going into the weekend Leicester were actually top so it was a big one. They aren’t top anymore, as Spurs beat Man City in the second biggest game of the weekend. I say second biggest but City are 13th so maybe I’m giving them too much credit. Obviously that position isn’t a true reflection of their level. I still have them as comfortably the second best team in the league, but it’s entirely possible I’m going to be proved massively wrong there. Was anyone actually surprised they lost at Spurs? Should we be surprised when they lose to anyone these days? Everton, obviously, but if and when the Blues eventually realise that losing to City isn’t actually going to make any difference to Liverpool’s season then even they might have a shot at beating Pep. It’s weird though because if you look at all the numbers from this game it looks like a standard Mourinho smash and grab act. And it was to some extent, but despite all of City’s possession and countless goal attempts, Spurs seemed to carry more menace all day, albeit with far less opportunities. City are just extremely vulnerable to counter attacks. This is why that point we got at their place a few weeks back almost felt like a missed opportunity. I’m not saying we deserved to win that game because we didn’t. I’m saying that with the forwards we have we ought to have caused them more problems than we did and I do feel a sense of disappointment that the only goal we scored was a penalty. City are easy to play through. You see it virtually every week now, even in the games they win. If you can defend well then you can get at them on the counter attack quite easily. The way City are now must be like a Mourinho wet dream. They’ve become the type of opponent he loves and this game went exactly how he’d have envisaged it. Son ran clear to make it 1-0 after only four minutes. He then teed up Kane to make it 2-0 but it was correctly ruled out for offside. City thought they’d equalised but VAR said otherwise. The Hand of Jesus. Actually before I go on, that reminds me. Of all the arguments against VAR there’s one that stands out more than anything to me, and it’s this: If VAR had been around in 1986 then my favourite World Cup goal of all time would never have stood and I wouldn’t be able to mock that Peter Shilton cunt about it on Twitter every time he brings it up. There’ll be plenty of Maradona stuff in the diary so I won’t dwell on it here, but yeah, VAR would have ruled that goal out so that alone is enough reason for me to be against it. Anyway, back to this game and Los Celso came off the bench and scored 30 seconds later after being sent clear by Kane. City never really looked like getting back into it despite having plenty of the ball in Tottenham’s half. Spurs had four attempts, City had 22. The corner count was 10-0 in City’s favour. Yet Spurs won 2-0. How many times have we seen this shit? And then we hear about another ‘Mourinho masterclass’. Makes me laugh. It’s only a ‘masterclass’ when they win. When his teams play like this and don’t win they look fucking awful. Just ask United fans. Despite their lowly league position I’m not writing City off at this point because they if they win their game in hand they’re only five points back. Four wins on the spin will have anyone in the top ten moving up the table and there’s no reason City can’t do that. It’s not like they’re playing badly. They just aren’t the force they were. Guardiola signing a new contract might not be the great news they thought it was either. Don’t get me wrong, all things being equal he’s the best coach they could possibly get (only Klopp is better and they obviously can’t get him because he likes proper football clubs), but he’s been there a good few years now and he’s got the kind of personality that grates on people after a while. His signings have been ropey as fuck too. There was a time when I’d have been made up if he had left but now I’m not sure if it’s better for us in the long run that he didn’t, as he may have outstayed his welcome. We’ll see. So the win put Spurs top and suddenly everyone is falling over themselves to tickle Jose’s balls. No doubt many of the same people who were saying he was washed up when he left United. No-one has benefited more from lockdown footy with no fans than Spurs, that’s for sure. Are they serious title contenders? Well yeah, they’re top so they have to be. But it’s early days and as I say, all it takes is for one of the decent sides to win four on the bounce and they’ll become contenders too. There’s going to be a lot of surprising results this season and no-one is going to put together a run like we did last year. Being a contender now doesn’t mean you will be by the time Easter comes around though. I don’t think Mourinho is working any magic and I’m not overly impressed by how they play. They will probably stay around the top for a while yet though because Kane and Son are genuinely brilliant, as good as any forwards in the league. When you have that you’ve always got a chance. The rest of the team? Meh. The league is fucked up this year because of Covid and the empty stadiums. It’s a great leveller and it’s not going to need a points total in the high nineties to win it this year. So yeah, you can’t dismiss Spurs out of hand, not when Kane and Son are doing what they’re doing. They are still Spurs though, we shouldn’t forget that. Chelsea have to be seen as contenders too. I’ve said before that their only real weakness now they’ve replaced their dodgy Kepa (see what I did there?) is the manager. At the moment their talent is cancelling out Lampard’s lack of nous and they look strong. They won 2-0 at Newcastle with a performance that was more like a five or six niller. They wasted loads of chances though and that kept Newcastle hanging around in a game where they were basically dominated from start to finish. That Darlow twat made a decent low save to deny Werner early on and then guess what? Yep, an absolutely fucking outrageous camera save again not long after to stop a Kevin Abraham header that was straight at him. I keep telling you. Every. Fucking. Week. I hate him. Have you got onto it yet? Seriously, next time you watch Newcastle play, or even if you’re just watching MOTD, watch this vain little fucking prick because he does it constantly. Never seen anything like it. You have to wonder what his goalkeeper coach is thinking, as if I can spot this then he sure as hell must be seeing it. It bothers me far more than it should but it’s an age thing, I’m just an angry twat these days and the slightest thing like that has me flying off the handle. Fernandez put through his own net and then ol’ no finesse Timo missed a sitter. Fernandez then got caught dwelling on the ball by Werner and it should have been 2-0, but Timo’s lack of finesse cost him again as he fucked up a simple pass that would have left Abraham with a tap in. Hayden then wasted a glorious opening and Chelsea made them pay as Werner played in Abraham and Kev finished this one off. Werner had one disallowed for offside (nice finish though to be fair) and Mount scuffed one wide when he should have scored. Longstaff went close with a thunderous 30 yarder that skimmed the bar but overall Newcastle were shite and once again they looked far too defensive. They’ve got some decent attackers and Bruce need to let them off the leash a little bit. This defensive approach is not gonna fly when the fans are back in. Chelsea are playing really well at the moment though and that Ziyech looks like a good acquisition. They’re doing this without Captain America too. Their squad depth will stand them in good stead this year if everyone keeps getting the kind of injuries we’ve been seeing so far with the clubs who play in Europe. I don’t like Chilwell though and I don’t really know why. I can only put it down to his face. He looks like he’s just stepped out of the 1920s. Elsewhere, Danny Welcrap scored for Brighton as they had a good win at Villa. Nailed on that was after me taking the piss out of him last week. I stand by everything I said though. He’ll score two or three goals a season so this was just one of them. He took it really well too. Class finish. Hopefully he’ll revert to type this weekend but if he doesn’t I’m not taking the blame for that. I deliberately mocked him before this game so he could get his goal out of the way and leave us in the clear. If he scores against us that’s on our defenders, not me. Konsa converted a Grealish free-kick from close range to get Villa level but March bent one in the top corner with his weak foot to restore Brighton’s lead. My boy Lamptey was then sent off for two quick yellows, the second of which was ridiculously harsh. Grealish just stepped in front of him and the contact was unavoidable. Still, he’ll miss the game against us now so that’s good as he’s fucking boss. It won’t be easy this weekend because I’ve been saying it for over a year now but Brighton are one of the best coached teams in the league. They know what they’re doing, they’ve got a clear way of playing and they’re greater than the sum of their parts. It’s a lack of quality that holds them back. There was late drama as Villa were awarded a penalty when March caught Trezeguet. March went up to Michael Oliver and was saying “I got a tiny bit of the ball” and the replay showed he did. Oliver looked at the screen and then changed his mind. Dean Smith handled it well I thought. He didn’t say it was a pen but he said he doesn’t know what is anymore. None of us do. This probably wasn’t a pen but we could easily see that given next week. I didn’t agree with Smith saying if the VAR didn’t think it was a pen because he got the ball then he should have just told Oliver it wasn’t a pen and there was no need for the ref to go and look at it. I thought this was what we all wanted? Refs going and looking for themselves rather than have some fuckwit like Coote in Stockley Park going rogue and making wrong decisions for them. Speaking of whom, that cunt was at it again this weekend with an outrageous showing at Old Trafford as he ensured United beat West Brom. Nothing he ever does will be worse than his antics during the derby the other week, but this was still pretty fucking scandalous. He gave West Brom a pen and it looked blatant. Whoever the VAR gimp was must have put doubt in his head by telling him to go and look. He should have looked at it and said “the fuck are you talking about, VAR gimp? That’s a pen”. Instead he changed his mind. What was really weird about it was you could see on MOTD that he walked away from the screen right before they showed the clearest close up of the incident. He watched a few angles that weren’t the best, then turned away when they showed him the best one. This cunt should not be anywhere near a football pitch. To add insult to West Brom’s injury, United were then awarded a pen - of course they were - and this one wasn’t overturned - of course it wasn’t. In fairness, you’d want a pen for that because the defender got himself into a terrible position and the ball hit his hand. He did all he could to get his left arm behind his back but he forgot about his right arm, which was sticking out by his head as the ball hit him right on the hand. That’s going to be a pen 9 times out of 10. I don’t blame Coote for what happened next as that’s not his call, and as annoying as that decision is there was really no way that could be allowed under the current rules. The keeper saved the kick from Fernandez but he had jumped off his line before contact was made. It was retaken, Fernandez scored and United picked up three points they really didn’t deserve. Still, anything that keeps Ole in a job a bit longer. This keeper moving off his line thing on pens is bollocks though. Add it to the list of shitty, petty jobsworth type rules that need fucking off. This isn’t what the rule was brought in for. It’s to stop keepers doing a Dudek and coming four yards off their line when pens are taken. Now we’ve got these fucking traffic wardens watching the TV and reporting back that the keeper’s foot was an inch off the line. I hate it, it’s shit. And here’s the other thing that needs addressing. Why is the keeper being punished when the likes of Fernandez (and Jorginho) is blatantly taking the piss trying to get him to commit by delaying the kick as long as possible so he can see where the keeper is going? I don’t have an issue with anyone taking a pen like that, but if they do then you can’t be punishing keepers for moving a fraction early. The West Brom keeper tweeted about that, saying that keepers shouldn’t be punished when the taker is doing “a hop step and a jump” and he’s bang on there. That rule needs fixing along with offside and handball. Then they can throw all the fucking video monitors in the sea (along with David Coote gaffa taped to them) and maybe then we’ll have our game back? I won’t hold my breath on any of the above. In fact, I’d put money on them making it even worse. West Brom were incredibly unlucky not to get anything from this game and they even hit the bar late on. They played well but it says more about United than anything I think, because we know West Brom aren’t very good despite how they looked in this game. They haven’t won a game yet for fucks sake. Onto Sunday now, and hold on, Fulham v Everton was live on BBC. When did this happen? I thought Sky and BT had all of the games. Have they decided that the really shit ones who no-one cares about can go to other channels? I’m not sure that can be the case seeing as how Burnley v Palace was the MNF game. Surprisingly, it was actually a decent spectacle as there were five goals and a missed penalty. Richarlison was back. The fucking cunt. Not right that he’s back out there playing while Thiago is… I dunno, dead? Just where the fuck is he? Calvert-Lewin got the opener when the ball hit him on the shin and went in from close range. Liverpool fan Bobby Decordova-Reid levelled but Calvert-Lewin scored again. Sick of these double barrel names but I can’t bring myself to use initial abbreviations unless it’s one of our lads like TAA or AOC. Maybe it’s me, but it feels inappropriate doing that with opposing players, especially ones I can’t stand like Calvert-Lewin. It’s kind of like using nicknames for them. It’s not acceptable. I mean only this week Stu Monty referred to Mourinho as ‘Mou’ in the TLW Writers chat and all hell broke loose. We all rounded on him and I’m not gonna lie, I almost removed him from the chat. I don’t think he’ll do it again but it was a harsh lesson for him to learn. The point is, as much as I’m a lazy bastard and I hate doing it, I’d rather type Calvert-Lewin than DCL. Not least because I can type that out scornfully, but you just can’t do that with initials. Don’t know if that makes sense, but I know what I mean. Doucoure’s header made it 3-1 but Fulham hit back in the second half. Loftus-Cheek (or RLC to his friends) came on at the break (how is he not starting, he’s ten times better than any other player they have at the club) and won a penalty straight away. Fulham have had some real penalty woes this season and it continued as Caballero kicked his own standing foot and the ball flew high and wide. Soft cunt. That was even worse than the Lookman ‘Panenka’. Loftus-Cheek pulled a goal back from a Lookman cut back but Fulham couldn’t find the equaliser and Everton ended their winless run. Everton are shite though. I’ve said it all season even when they were ‘flying high’ (after beating nobody of note other than Spurs who they caught cold on opening weekend). They’re shite. They’ll finish somewhere around 10th at best. The one concession I’m willing to make is that Calvert-Lewin is definitely better than I have ever been willing to give him credit for. He’s limited but he plays to his strengths now and he’s really effective. I may have made this comparison before, I find it increasingly difficult to remember anything I write these days, but he’s kind of a John Aldridge type, which is no bad thing. If he keeps scoring at the rate he is now he won’t be with Everton for long. As average as I think Everton are, the way they’re going Arsenal might be right there with them fighting for 10th spot. They were fucking shite at Leeds and it was nothing short of a miracle they came away with a point. Leeds hit the woodwork about ten fucking times and Arsenal were just dire. They weren’t helped by Pepe stupidly getting himself sent off. What an absolute bum he’s turned out to be. He’s not shit, but for £70m or so you’d want a hell of a lot more than he’s given. Still, it was a clean sheet with ten men so no doubt Tim Cahill would have been lauding another “Arteta masterclass” if he’d been covering it on Sky. He’s so sycophantic when it comes to Arteta that it’s bordering on weird. He was on Carra’s podcast last week and when he had to pick his ultimate five a side team of players he’s played with, against or just seen play, he had Arteta in there. I mean really? I was going to say that everyone should have someone who views them in the same overly flattering light that Cahill does Arteta, but I actually have that with my mate John who will argue with anyone who’ll listen that in my playing days I was a cross between Berbatov and Dalglish. I hope Arteta is as appreciative of the blind and utterly misplaced devotion he gets from Cahill as I am for what I get from my boy John. Next, Sheffield United. Fucking hell they’re in trouble aren’t they? They can’t score and they can’t win. They’ve had a tough run of games lately but having got those out of the way this was a chance for them to put some points on the board. West Ham aren’t bad these days but if you’re Sheffield United you have to be looking at this as a great chance to finally pick up a win. But they didn’t. They were beaten 1-0 thanks to a belter from Haller. I see Brewster was only on the bench. He came on for the final half an hour and created a chance for McBurnie who hit the post. That’s just how it’s going for them at the moment. They didn’t deserve to lose this but when you’re in this kind of run you don’t get any luck. Wouldn’t surprise me if Brewster ends up having to wait until about April before finally getting goal, and it will be through no fault of his own. Onto Monday now and a couple of games no-one really cares about. I didn’t watch either of them and I didn’t even know the scores until just know when I fired up youtube to watch the highlights. Burnley got their first win of the season by edging out Palace 1-0. It’s uncanny how many of their games have either zero, one or two goals in them. I should start betting on that every week. This time the one goal went their way as Wood scored early on. Gudmundsen hit the bar with a nice effort while in the second half Pope had to be alert to deny Batshuayi and Benteke. That was Burnley’s first win of what looks like being a long season for them. Finally, Southampton were held to a draw at Wolves. Walcott gave the Saints the lead and then missed a great chance to make it 2-0. He’d have buried that when he was younger but he’s gotten worse with every season he’s been a professional. That Arsenal stink was bad enough but he’s also been rolling around in Everton stench too. Substitute Neto equalised for Wolves, who are just having a really nondescript season so far. I keep waiting for them to kick into gear but so far it’s not happening. And what the fuck has happened to my boy Adama? He isn’t even showing up in highlights packages these days. It’s a crime what they’re doing to him. Go and save him, Jurgen.