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My missus being neighbourly this morning put everyone's recycle bin back up there drives off the pavement before she went for her walk. I've just watch the binmen drive past. She's essentially just put everyone's full bin back.

Missed opportunity to call the thread Maragoner

I've been feeling like shit too for a couple of days, was going to go for a test but realised it had perfectly coincided with me returning to the forum and it's that.

For the opposition?

Hey @Paulie Dangerously, I feel your pain... Went to the garden centre earlier ‘for a look around’. She then decided she wanted to surprise the boys with a Christmas tree when they get home from school today. Me: It’s too fucking early, it’s not even December. Her: Don’t be such a miserable cunt. Me: It’s not being miserable wanting to wait for December to buy a bloody Christmas tree. Her: Why can’t you be excited for our first Christmas together. Me: I was. Last year. When it was our first Christmas together. Her: Why do you have to always be such an argumentative prick? Me: It’s a natural talent I have. She storms off in a huff. Her: Well I’m having this tree today no matter what you say. Me: Babe, get a bloody tree if that’s what makes you happy. But that tree is too big. Her: No it isn’t. Me: Yes it is. Her: It isn’t. Me: It is. It’s not massively tall I agree but it’s too big in diameter for the lounge. Her: How do you know? Me: *starts biting knuckles*, because I have a clue about special awareness! Her: Stop being a twat and ruining the day. I’m having it. Come home, she’s rearranged the furniture 3 times and this is her best idea... Me: We just won’t use the back porch or washing machine for 7 weeks then!

Just tested positive for it. Been feeling like shit for a couple of days so booked a drive through test yesterday. They texted the results an hour ago. Bastard.

Codevid-19.

I'd let her smash me so hard.. let her! like id have a choice. She could get me in a headlock and rub her knuckles on my head and tell what am I going to do about it anytime and then when I tell her she's a bad actor and maybe she has put on a little too much weight as she chokes me to death I will scream through air starved lungs Michael Hutchinson!... David Carradine!... THIS IS THE WAY!

We haven't had a single shit on target.

Jimmy Magee's commentary on his famous goal against England - no, the other one - is the greatest tribute to anyone ever:

Strongly considering getting hold of then laying out a massive meandering line of coke round my flat in his honour, to replicate the full run he made when scoring his other goal against England. Will perform my own commentary while running round the flat polishing it off, seeing Peter Reid in my mind’s eye, doggedly chasing me up the hallway but never quite managing to get the straw out of my nostril. Fuck sake man. Not Diego.

Greatest ever no question about it.

I wonder if Reds would bother with nonsense like this if Everton ever reached a final of anything. I guess we'll never know.

An away game against Brighton is more important than this game. And that's the truth. Image saying that in 1980.

Well that was shite. Let’s smash Brighton.

A loss would be disappointing, but hardly critical. We’re missing half a team and changes had to be made. Atalanta were clearly stung by the last result and they’ve played like their future in the group depended on this result, which it does. We’ve been ponderous and off the pace but realistically the league games are the priority at this moment in time. Disappointing, but we take it on the chin and move on.

By removing our attacking width from both full backs....asking a 34 year old to play a 2nd game in a few days, by having our 10th different pairing at centre half, by Gini being dead on his feet after playing about 4 games prior to tonight in a week or so and having nobody to replace him due to injuries and by having Divock Origi in front 3 as opposed to Jota or Firmino....

This thread in 25 minutes

What a life though.

Lived his life on his terms

I tend to see it like this

As Salah should be fresh i'd bring him in and give Mane a breather. Rest Matip because just seems too risky to ask him to play 3 times in a week and rest Robbo. Go as strong as possible those changes aside.

Yeah, I could charge Gnasher a quid every time he mentions my name on the forum, raise the money in a matter of days.

Cuntchester. I hope he's fucking crying about his baldy messiahs abject performances this season, the big wumming shitbag.

You have no idea what’s been going on in training with Origi and Minamino. I don’t think there’s much of an argument between them. Who would you have played with Williams at centre back? Especially considering we had two inexperienced full backs playing, it couldn’t be Koumetio. You can ruin players careers by hanging them out to dry like that. I think Matip has been training longer than Fabinho and has played a lot less minutes in recent months so I’m guessing out of the 2 that’s why he got picked. The midfield picked itself because of the injuries. The only player you might say should have been rested was maybe Mané but when you look at the effort they put in it was so obvious the game plan wa a just to get through the game. We’ve won the champions league and the league and there’s people losing their shit about us losing the 4th group game after winning the first 3 and sitting top of the league with an absolute joke number of injuries. People are clueless bellends going on about us not having a plan and we should have done this and that. It’s as if they have no clue who are manager is or what he’s been doing for the past 5 years.

Taking another 5 of your best players out.

I don't think anyone can argue that the team selection very much prioritised keeping key players fit rather than maximising our chances of a win. That, I could understand. But to then bring on all those players anyway, chasing the game, seems a bit odd.

Fitting tribute to mark the passing of Diego. All the players sniffed glue before the game.

Thats a weird tree it looks like a spy disguised as a tree. Probably follow you round the house.

They learned it from the experts - the Church.

Women hate women. They're like polarised magnets. The only reason Sex and the City and Dirty Dancing are popular with women are because the leads are all munters. The happiest you'll ever see a woman is when her best mate has just lost weight but then gets run over.

It's only November and he's already 11 points clear, causing fans to protest their manager during a pandemic. Can't wait till he gets here.

Being in a crowd of 4000 in the vast majority of football grounds would be much safer than a visit to any supermarket.

They must have started out with good intentions and just all got twatted beyond belief. 'Hey George, what the fuck happened last night ?' 'Fucked if I know Benjamin. Only thing I remember was Jefferson threatening to bare his arms to Sam Adams' Ha, ha, yeah I vaguely remember that too. Ah well, no harm done than eh. Fancy a curer ?

Always feel unnecessarily cruel when you search for an unofficial stream and Tyler is on it.

Origis been buffering all night

My stream has been flawless tonight, unfortunately.

A fitting tribute, hopefully you can speak at the funeral.

"if you turn this lever this way how long until Gwladys freezes to death?" type questions as well I bet mate?

It really is. To avoid it, step the fuck up, @Jennings.

The bottom 1% of all Trump supporters, there's something to put on the CV.

Her eyes alone are worth 40

Arnie doesn't get anywhere near the respect he deserves. He's been over achieving like fuck for years.

Bint's nailed her colours to the mast by staying at cockney wanker's during the lockdown. So she becomes a fourth household for us and can therefor fuck off.

My favourite bit is when phish said "without lack of evidence...."

They say Reds "make it all about them" but think nothing of doing this, inviting away fans to their pubs, refreshing twitter every 15 seconds to get any news of a Liverpool fan setting a firework off so they can ring Merseyside Police and complain...... the biggest bunch of hypocrites in football. Brought up jealous of all their mates because the Reds actually matter. they aren't bitter against us. They're bitter about being blue. Bitter that nobody give a fuck about them. bitter that their "red shite" mates get to travel Europe and watch their ride lift shiny things. Thats why they invent things about us.

When I used to work for carphone warehouse we had an email system were the message flashed up instantly on your screen. Bloke walked in wearing the worst wig ever so I sent the bird I was working with an email " state of that syrup" She read it and shouted on top note " kev I don't get it what's a syrup?"