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Went to the night do of a female colleagues wedding and as I went down the greeting line I noticed the best man had a black eye and said to the groom ( his brother ) 'I should have got here earlier, looks like I've missed the fight' upon which he hissed to me ' its a fucking birthmark ' Not my finest hour

Thank fuck that's over. Some of the scenery was spectacular and managed to avoid the rain but that was the toughest day yet by some margin. https://strava.app.link/vE4nuGw8kab Even had a four legged friend keep me company for half a mile so.

Report by Dave Usher Shit. Just what the fuck happened there? I’ve never seen anything like this in all my years of watching football. We never defended that badly even when we were rubbish. By defending I don’t specifically just mean the defenders, I mean the whole team. It was a shambles. This team hardly ever loses games, so to see them spanked like this is actually incomprehensible. If I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have believed this was even possible. Sure, we could have lost the game. I could see that happening. I could even see another Watford type result being possible. But this??? Nah, I never thought even in my worst nightmares this could happen. I don’t really know what to say. It was only a few days ago the entire world was ready to just hand us the title. I felt like that too. I still do, despite this. The point is though literally everyone in the media had already decided that the title was staying here. Maybe that was the problem? The players have got fuck all to do these days other than train and then go home and watch telly. They can’t go anywhere, or do anything. So maybe they’ve just been sat around watching Sky Sports News all week having smoke blown up their arses, and this was the result of it. We didn't run away with the title last year just because we're better than everyone else. We ran away with it because we were focused and concentrated in every game we played (bar Watford) until the title was won. We didn't always play at our best, but we avoided the kind of bad results against inferior teams that had plagued us over the last 30 years. That's how you win titles. So with that in mind, and having seen how we've approached almost every game in recent seasons, I think I can safely say that they just weren’t mentally prepared for this game, which tells me they didn’t take it as seriously as they would have if they’d been playing an Arsenal or a Chelsea. It’s not something you can level at these lads very often, but I don’t see how you can draw any other conclusion after this. A fully switched on, fully motivated Liverpool does not concede seven goals against anybody, let alone Aston Villa. So therefore, clearly they weren’t switched on and motivated or this couldn’t have happened. It looked wrong right from the start. We've seen that before and usually we find a way to steady ourselves and get into the game. This time we never did. Before I get fully into the inquest though I feel it needs saying that Villa played incredibly well and fully deserved this. It wasn’t lucky and we can’t say it was a freak result because it wasn’t. They were outstanding and could easily have scored more. Yes three of their goals were spawny deflections but considering they also hit the woodwork and missed four or five other great chances I don’t think we can say the scoreline flattered them at all. Credit where it's due. We can have no complaints at all. We were fucking abysmal and deserved to be humiliated. How can this happen? I don’t think there’s any one simple answer. There are all sorts of factors that went into this and it just ended up being a perfect storm. First of all it had been a troubling week at Melwood. Thiago and Sadio coming down with Covid shouldn’t in itself be a problem as ordinarily we should be able to cope without them. How has it impacted the group though? How many of them have had it on their minds this week or thought that they themselves had it? We don’t know how this kind of thing might affect them. Shit, I’d have demanded all of them were tested right on full time, because if Corona Virus was a football performance this would be it. Defensively this display was me in March / April when I’d struggle to summon the energy to go for a piss and then I’d immediately fall asleep for an hour afterwards. Even then I was more alert than Joe Gomez in this game. This is just a teaser, click here to view the full report Please note that Match Reports are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here.

After a disappointing day, its good to remind ourselves that we have got this absolute superb footballer playing for us now. Cant wait to see him in the derby.

I reckon I was about five, maybe even younger, and I was in the living room with my grandad and mum, and I just said: "Mum, when I look at the ladies in their underwear in the catalogue, my willy goes like this." I remember me mum was eating a butty or something and some food fell out of her mouth, and me granddad was just sat there looking at the telly and shaking his head.

I think as a few have said, he's obviously overly conscious of not appearing biased that he goes to the other extreme of just chatting shit that doesn't make any sense. It's like if you and your Mrs were watching baywatch and she asked you if you thought Pamela Anderson was attractive and you were like, "no not really, her lips are too big - in fact she looks a bit like a cod, but in fairness she's an underrated actress and appears to be a strong and independent woman."

That's right, a player with 1 cap in a friendly is entirely like a player with 24 caps, what a hot take that is.

BBC describing Alex Telles as the Brazil left-back is stretching the truth to breaking point. He has one cap. In a friendly. A year and a half ago. Against Panama.

I think if you showed that report to all the players involved they couldn't disagree with much...very good. Adrian will get the blame, fair enough he started the shit show but he couldn't have done much about the other 6 they scored or the other clear chances they created. Maybe Allison might have made a better fist of them as his (Adrians) positioning strange at times. The unpredictability of games without crowds, happening all over. West Ham mate even said to me (in jest) that given Sundays scorelines he was disappointed with only scoring 3. When I looked at that game again they could easily have done so, against what I would consider not the worst defence in the world. They did same V Wolves and could have scored more! This trend will continue and best way given the keeper situation is to get those 3 on the pitch with Thiago leading it by bossing the possession game. Less pressure on the back 4 by keeping the bloody ball!! Anyway we could be an awful lot worse...we have 3 top players to return in Thiago, Henderson and Mane...not Downing, Charlie fckn Adam and Andy Carroll!!

We’ve had defensive issues since February. Even more since the new season , nothing has seemed t o be changed. We may be a bit patronizing, all this crap about records, best team of t he world, best team ever. Horrible reality check, the game at Goodison is massive to asses our mental strength . Every auto goals were right after mistakes by our players. Only us to blame. I’ m happy I don’t have a match report to write.

Since I jacked the pub in I had a couple of offers to go back to an office environment. I'm supposed to be launching an online real ale business but it's been getting on top of me a bit. The minefield of licensing, premises, cost reduction. I've fucked it all off til next year, decided well against an office return and I'm currently on my way to Birmingham to collect my van. Start delivering for Amazon tomorrow. Self employed, pick and choose my hours and the money is decent. Fuck da office.

We thought we just had to turn up to win and it's difficult to switch from coasting to full speed. When the deflections started to mount, our heads dropped and by the end they'd gone completely. Outfought time and time again in midfield and minimal effective pressing so there was no protection at all for the defence. One decent pass is as all it took to put them clear on goal. Hendo, Thiago and Mane back will make a big difference but I don't think we'll recover that easily. Everybody will be copying what Villa and Leeds did and come flying at us on the break which will create space behind them but the Red Arrows haven't been functioning efficiently for quite a while now. I'm confident Jurgen will turn it around but it might take a while and the international break and Alison's injury couldn't have come at a worse time.

Not really being kind to Adrian as he's a huge problem. Just saying really that singling him out just lets others off the hook, as you don't concede seven goals because of the goalkeeper.

We were a mess yesterday no doubt about it but I think criticism of individual players and the manager (and questioning their ability) is a bit unfair. This manager and these players are what they have shown us the last 3+ seasons, one match or even one weird season does not change that. There are freak results everywhere, we are not immune from that, matches are far more open than they have ever been and I said at the start of the season that we would probably suffer more than anyone for the lack of crowd. Our pressing game feeds off it, whether friend or foe we rise to the occasion when there's a crowd watching and participating so it's no surprise that the players aren't quite as switched on every week. The players still have the ability they have shown consistently, Klopp needs to find a way to bring it out of them in these weird circumstances but I fully expect there to be more ups and downs and possibly even forfeited points, but I won't be too concerned unless we get to half way and we're off the pace of the top 3.

I did a thing for a Client last Monday. First time I’ve been in an office environment since mid March. As a self employed person I’ve been lucky enough to pick up a few online bits and pieces but, essentially, my income has been a fraction of what it was so I really needed this work and the days it will lead to between now and the end of the year. No furlough, cheap loans etc. have been available to me. My mental health at the moment isn’t the best but, despite inner turmoil, I managed to pretend to be a completely different person for the duration. I really feel for those suffering similar who have to do this every day. I’m not so bad that I can’t get through it, but there are consequences. This particular Client fits into the ‘key worker’ category so have been mostly running at full capacity for the duration. It’s fair to say that this has led to a slightly blasé approach to social distancing. I had fifteen senior managers in a room that would have been a squeeze in ‘normal times’. Somebody did observe that if one of them showed some of the symptoms in the next few days then, virtually, their whole management team would need to self isolate. Didn’t stop us ‘cracking on’ though. I’d have liked to have said ‘not on your irresponsible nellies’ but I can’t afford to lose this Client so just added a portion of guilt and self loathing to my day rate. I'm expected back there for four days later this month. My absolute need for this income trumps my reservations about going anywhere near the place. Again, I really feel for those who are faced with these circumstances every day. Lastly, track and trace. I’ll use my own circumstances as an example but I’m sure it applies to many others. Should I use the system as I’m meant to and be contacted in the run up to my days, later in the month, then I’d be expected to isolate and therefore give up this income with very little compensation. There’s a pretty good chance I’d also lose future income with this Client. At the moment, I think I’d still do the ‘right thing’ but there must be loads out there who manipulate/ignore the system because they simply can’t afford to risk losing work. We’re driving people to choose between protecting public health or feeding their families. Maybe that’s a bit extreme but surely that cannot be right!

I couldn't sleep last night, kept waking up having flashbacks. I think it has genuinely traumatised me.

George Cole was a fine actor.

Minder is boss.

Been a long time since I was so angry about a performance like that, fucking livid, but my lad has just sent me a video of my 16 month old Grandson who has Downs Syndrome trying to copy his Dad whistling and giggling and smiling. I melted. Perspectives lads.

Far be it from me to be an alarmist, but I think we could get relegated if Adrian remains in goal.

I am vindicated.

If expensive medical staff can keep this alive. I don't think everyone gets dozens of medical staff on hand but just a hunch it probably helps with recovery.

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See that idiot Gino DiCampo has been given Family Fortunes to ruin with his vulgarian streak and blag accent. Wish he'd strayed onto Tony Martin's farmstead during his burglar bill days so he could have used his sweetbreads as meatballs.

7/2, we were tragic, and it tells something, what ? I don’t know. But it’s more than complacency and attitude. Hope it’s not too bad , but the result and the way we play are going to say a lot about our guts. And I totally agree on Hendo, we did miss his leadership and energy.

Can't post NHS Triage figures because I have fucked all my social media off.

Good report Dave and covered all bases. I dont think this game will be pivot in the season but I fear Alisson's injury might be. Out for 6 weeks is a lot of games given the schedule even with an international break. If the 'unthinkable' happens in the derby, that would put the shite 6 points clear and would be a massive confidence boost to them even if they are in a run of easy fixtures. look what happened with Ollie when he was appointed on the back of 12 piss easy games and results. The first thing Jurgen needs to do is impress on everyone, achterburg, Adrian and the players is stop putting the keeper under pressure. Even Alisson cocked up a poor needless back pass from Robbo and he did it again at Villa. That's not absolving Adrian. He's poor with his feet so stop fucking passing it back to him and he needs to be told you cant play with your feet so stop trying. I agree the players were not focused for this game. Why? Who knows. Do we overtrain sometimes? I know Jurgen likes a sessions the evening before a game but if the adrenalin isnt flowing as much due to no crowds, is that affecting the players? We just didnt look organised especially at the back. Even when Fabinho replaced Gomez it was no better, why? I like it that Robbo said even at 4-1 he thought we'd get back in the game but fuck me, you need to do that from a solid base like retaining the ball. Trent's positioning for the last goal was just a joke. I feel the same about Naby and Bobby. Both are not delivering. Jurgen is very loyal to his players or appears to be but he needs to resolve this issue and quick.

Don’t know whether Buvac gave these quotes being attributed to him in the media today before the game and they’re only now being released. Might just be unfortunate timing and a genuine coincidence. If it’s not that though, what a fucking opportunistic snake. Wasn’t coming out with this shit when Klopp was winning the European cup and English title without him.

I like him as a pundit. I hate it when he commentates on our games.

Penalty incident was at 1-0 but it's irrelevant really, just more proof that Atkinson and VAR are crap. You're kinder than I am about Adrian and if he plays against Everton I think we'll be in trouble as they will look to exploit him and the lack of confidence in him. Otherwise I agree with everything you say, the attitude just stank from the defence (Robbo apart) and the midfield. Bobby has been my favourite in recent years but I don't recognise him these days as the man who was the key to how we played. Keita's fan club can bleat all they like but he's never convinced me and no idea what he was doing last night, Fabinho was awful too. It has to be attitude after we played so well 6 days before. Hendo's face on the sidelines was thunderous. I have been watching Liverpool for 50 years and I am sure I have seen worse performances but I just can't recall one, perhaps some of the Souness era UEFA Cup games. I thought Salah was Motm, took his goals so well though Robbo never gave in and created more than anyone else.

Noticed in his post-match that Klopp, while saying they’re still my boys and not being damning, also said “We know if we lose 30 challenges we lose the game”. Be interesting to see how he reacts.

Top write up Dave, and great Hendo insight as well. Definitely wouldn't have happened on his watch.

Having refelcted on the match only Robbo - Salah and Jota (Who put a shift in and tried to make things happen with only a couple of starts behind him) come out with any credit. Firmino is becoming a problem - he's not doing the level of off the ball work he was last season(to my eye anyway) and his touch and general passing is awful. Fabino looks well off the pace so far this season as well as TAA nowhere near the levels they can both play at. Im pretty much done with Keita I was so excited when we signed him and am so underwhelmed by the type of player he is. He's just not what I thought we were getting as a midfielder he's timid, lacks authority and drifts through matches just showing glimpses of what he can do - I don't think theres any excuse for him now given how long he's had to settle in. He offered us nothing in midfield yesterday either going forward or defensively. Im really concerned with Adrian in goal now for an extended period that match yesterday is sending a message out to every other club in the league - shoot onsite and pressure him and you'll score.

Live under massive (often illogical) restrictions which damage your physical and mental health until we develop a vaccine* which you won't be receiving. *Timescale unknown.

He’s not. As I said, I wouldn’t care if he didn’t score if he was making significant contributions elsewhere

Alisson, Henderson, and Mane badly missed from the spine of the team.

On the plus side, we might have saved Ole's job by getting a bigger bumming than they did.

Karius is not the answer to this situation.

It is great for the public here at Villa to see us. They must have been wondering what this team everyone is talking about are all about and now they've seen. We were wonderful.

I still find it bizarre we kept playing the same way when it was clearly being exposed again and again. Learn during the game.

Jesus fucking christ.

Nah fuck off.

That was a 99er but he dropped the Flake.

I used to let these type of things bother me. But it's all part of the game. Win some, lose some. Every team gets a hiding at some stage. We deserved that and will get another couple like it in all liklihood. The stress and anxiety of watching the team over the last few years has been awful for me at times. Now we've won the lot recently I'm just enjoying the game as a spectacle now, even when we lose. There's more to be stressed about these days than footballers making a dick of themselves. People also forget that they're human and can have off days. Let it go.

Adrian was at fault for 1 or 2 goals. On a normal night that would make him the undisputed villain of the piece. A back four who have played together a million times looked like hapless strangers. Nobody in the midfield was capable of completing a pass. Possession was given away cheaply time and time and time again. Bobby was a fucking liability. Jota was busy and occasionally dangerous, as was Robbo. Mo was our best defender as well as our best attacker. You can usually carry a couple of players who either aren't good enough or aren't up to their usual standard. Tonight showed that you can't carry 8 or 9 of them. I can't decide whether we were naive in letting them win so many cheap free-kicks or the referee was naive for awarding them all. He certainly dropped a bollock for not awarding a clear pen. We were also unfortunate with a few deflections that could have gone anywhere, but tonight went into the net. Still, fuck it. Freaky result in a freaky year. No sulking; no excuses; no scapegoating. Shit it out and move on.

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To be fair it's a low Bar. I'll get me coat.