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Tuesday Jul 14: Guardiola wants an apology and is talking as though City were exonerated of all charges. The sneaky lying bald fuck. Honestly, the fucking balls on this prick. Klopp and Mourinho had both spoken out about the CAS decision being a disgrace and Guardiola had this to say in response. “When we lose, I shake their hands and congratulate them, all the time we have done that. So, guys, accept it.” I can’t speak for Mourinho as he has a long standing beef with Guardiola, but Klopp has always shook his hand and congratulated him too. The absolute cheek of the cunt. I’m sure Ben Johnson shook everyone’s hand after he won too, but it doesn’t change the fact he was a cheat, just like City. “We wanted to be here and we tried on the pitch. If you don't agree, knock on the door and speak to our chairman and chief executive, don’t go whispering.” Wanted to be here and tried on the pitch? What does that even mean? He sounds like Boris Johnson there, just rambling. As for speaking to the chairman and chief exec, maybe he should be the one doing that if he genuinely believes they haven’t been cheating when the whole world can see they have. There was a time when I thought he didn’t know. Not because he didn’t ‘know', but because he was like a mafia wife. She knows her husband isn’t ‘in construction’ but she doesn’t need to know what he actually does. That’s how I thought Guardiola was justifying it to himself. I don’t think that anymore. He knows. He’s up to his fucking neck in it. “We invested a lot of money, but we did it in the right things. We're not banned, because we followed the rules for FFP as UEFA decided. If not, we’d be banned.” You were banned!!! You were literally banned because you didn’t follow the rules. You got off on a technicality, that’s all. “We’ve done it properly, in the right way. UEFA say we do it and we did it. If we did something wrong, we will accept the decisions, because we did something wrong.” You did do something wrong, it was there for everyone to see in the emails. You didn’t accept the decisions though, you got your high powered lawyers to get it overturned on a technicality. “And we have the right to defend ourselves when we believe what we have done is correct.” Adolf Hitler believed what he was doing was correct. “Three judges said this, so it was a good day for football, as we showed we play with the same rules as all the clubs in Europe.” Your declared wage bill is less than Liverpool’s even though your actual wage bill is probably close to double. So no, you aren’t playing by the same rules as everyone else you duplicitous bald cunt. City were guilty as fuck and were fined £9m for it. The ban was overturned on a fucking technicality because the statute of limitations on any punishment had expired. Yet here they are, Guardiola especially, talking about being exonerated, proving their innocence and demanding apologies. It’s bullshit, lies and propaganda and it’s straight of the Abu Dhabi PR handbook. He even protested that they can’t match United’s spending and couldn’t afford Maguire or Sanchez. Funny that, because he paid £60m for Cancelo who never fucking plays. Proper scumbags these you know. Worse than United ever were. As much as I hate United and other clubs, I don’t want them to cease existing. City? I’d happily see them wiped off the face of football forever. Tell you something else too, Guardiola is the biggest cunt in football because he’s fully aware of what’s going on and he’s lied through his teeth about it because he’s enjoying taking the cash from these human right abusing fuckers. Meanwhile, Clive Tyldesley is in the news today after he posted a video complaining about ITV replacing him as their number one commentator. I like Clive and he probably should be ITV’s number one, but this shit happens all the time. Sam Matterface is younger and they probably see him as the future, so they’ve promoted him perhaps to prevent him leaving. Clive should know how this works and I’ll be honest, I was a little uncomfortable with him whining like that. A few of the lads were discussing it in the groupchat and it kind of reminded me of this, with Clive Tyldesley as Johnny Sac and me in the Phil Leotardo role…. Wednesday Jul 8: Arsenal 2 L 1. I know it’s over the top and I know most of you reading this won’t feel the same, but I’m genuinely appalled by this. Not because we lost. Because of who we lost to. We should never be losing to those bums. It’s embarrassing because Arsenal are a disgrace. The only way they would be able to beat us was if we beat ourselves and that’s what we did. Clearly some of our players have just as low an opinion of Arsenal as I do, but that’s not ok. It’s ok for me to think they’re a pathetic, quivering mess who capitulate any time they face someone half decent. I never have to get on the pitch with them so if I under-estimate them it doesn’t matter. The players can’t be that complacent, but they were and they ended up with egg on their faces. The Arteta love-in is making me sick. He’s done nothing but because he’s spent time with Guardiola and he’s young and well groomed, people think he’s the bees knees. I actually saw references to an “Arteta masterclass” tonight. You fucking what? They couldn’t get out of their own half. This was utter domination from us but we literally handed them two goals and then squandered chances to bury them. Masterclass? If this was replayed ten times we’d win every one. But we didn’t win this because as I said in the match report it was the tortoise and the hare. We took them too lightly and it bit us in the arse. I mean fucking hell, Virgil doesn’t do that unless he’s relaxed almost to the point of being comatose. Then for Alisson to follow it up with a daft mistake of his own, it just shows that there’s a lack of focus. Not a lack of effort. The players are putting in the shift and they desperately want to win, but they just don’t have quite the same focus they had when the stakes were higher. Even so, you don’t lose to this fucking Arsenal team. Jesus. Also today, the City thing is rumbling on in predictably depressing fashion, with some daft bastards making them out to be some oppressed underdog. I mean fucking hell. Martin Samuel is now being deified by City fans and Evertonians for going after the ‘hateful eight’. Yeah, that’s the name he’s given (no doubt fed to him by City’s press office) to eight of the PL’s top ten clubs who complained about City’s cheating. The only two who didn’t were City themselves, and Sheffield United. So yeah, in Bluto’s eyes City are the good guys in all this, the valiant little guy being held down by the elite. In an entirely unrelated bit of info, did you know that Martin Samuel’s son works for Manchester City? Thursday Jul 16: Yasser Larouci is off this summer. He’s still got a year left so this is a little bit surprising. He won’t sign a new deal because he wants to play, which is fair enough, but it’s also a decision I think he’ll regret. He’s training with the first team so he’s not a million miles away from it and he’s only 19. He should stay and go out on loan. He’s talented but needs a lot of work defensively. The clubs he’s being linked with are clubs that would probably take him on loan too, so I don’t see why he’s in such a rush but whatever, it’s his choice. If he does leave then it would make sense for us to sign another young left back (even if it’s just for the 23s), especially as Adam Lewis is supposed to be going out on loan. Maybe they’ll just promote James Norris, as that kid can play. Meanwhile, I found this really funny. Have a read of these quotes and then try to guess which former player it is. I bet you can't. "Look, if we had got beat, I'd have accepted it. Fair enough, we've gone to Arsenal and we lost. But they didn't beat us, we handed it to them on a platter. They had three shots on our goal and scored two, we had 24 attempts and scored one. "I'm raging. It's about making more history. I get it, 30 years not winning the league and now we've won it, but what, then we get complacent? "Let's go on to win a bit more, let's be a great team like Man City have been over the last two years. They've won the league and everyone's human so they feel they've got nothing to play for now. But it's like, subconsciously, they're in holiday mode and they've just come off the boil a little bit, but they should keep going. "We've won the league and we haven't really been allowed to celebrate it properly so why not create a little bit more?" Honestly, you’ll never guess in a million years. I actually agree with almost all of it, but the reason it’s so funny is because who said it. Someone not in the least bit qualified to be making any kind of criticism of this squad or of players not showing a great attitude. The other thing that’s so funny is referring to the Reds as ‘we’ when he was only here five minutes. In fact, he spent considerably more time at Arsenal, which makes this even more amusing. If you still haven’t guessed, I'll reveal at the end. Friday Jul 17: Oh here we go. The German media are reporting that we’re in talks with Bayern over Thiago after Klopp told the owners he wants him. There’s a big difference in our valuation and Bayern’s and the clubs are far apart. Could be true, but it all reeks of clickbait to me. Say that Klopp wants him but add the caveat that the owners need to back him. So when it doesn’t happen Bild are in the clear as they can just say “we were right, Klopp wanted him but y’know, FSG penny pinchers and that”. My take on it is that these stories coming out of Germany today are most likely bollocks. I’ll say it again, unless Wijnaldum (or Keita or Ox, I guess) is leaving we won’t be signing Thiago. I forgot to mention this the other day when it became official, but Leeds are back in the big time. I wouldn’t say I’m happy about it but I don’t begrudge them it as they’ve had a shitty time of it since Ridsdale almost bankrupted them trying to win the league. Like everyone else, I love Bielsa. He seems like a top fella and I always enjoyed watching Chile when he was the coach. The Premier League is going to be more interesting with him - and Leeds - in it, so welcome back, I guess. Saturday Jul 18: Ok what the fuck is going on here? Arsenal 2 City 0. What kind of sorcery is this? It has to be the lack of fans. There’s no other explanation for Arsenal actually demonstrating a spine like this. Or maybe there is, and maybe it’s not about Arsenal. Maybe City just aren’t that good anymore? There’s a shitload of evidence to back that up now. Nine league defeats and now this. THIS? You just don’t see City losing important games to inferior sides like Arsenal. It doesn’t happen, that’s why they’ve been hoovering up all the domestic cups year on year. What we’ve seen this year is that they’ve vulnerable and can be got at, and no-one knows that more than Arteta. He used his inside knowledge of them to expose their defensive frailties, but not just that, he knew how to stop them too. Ok, Arsenal could easily have conceded a few today and City had their chances, but it wasn’t exactly an onslaught was it? Beating us the other night didn’t really mean anything as we essentially beat ourselves. This was different though. They deserved this and its weirding me out. City remain the biggest threat to us but they need new blood and given their record in the transfer market in recent seasons there’s no guarantee that the massive FFP defying splurge they’re bound to go on this summer will make that much difference. Guardiola has spent over £250m on defenders alone, and they’ve got a shit defence. How has he escaped criticism for that? Think about it. All we ever hear about when it comes to City’s defensive troubles is “well Kompany retired” or “they’d have been ok if Laporte hadn’t gotten injured”. Sorry, but if you spend £265m on defenders you shouldn’t ever concede another goal ever again. Ok, that’s a little over the top but you get my point. Imagine if another manager had spent that much to end up with an even worse defence than before. This bald twat has the wool pulled over so many people’s eyes. He’s obviously a brilliant coach, I won’t dispute that (he may even be the best) but when it comes to buying players his record leaves a lot to be desired. Still, when you have a bottomless pit of cash you can afford mistakes. Sunday Jul 19: Hahaha fucking hell, so much for this United revival. What a farce this was. Maguire scoring an own goal, their much vaunted forward line doing fuck all and De Gea gifting Chelsea two goals. I hope Chelsea win it now as I’d much rather see Lampard having some success than Arteta. On the radio yesterday there was a discussion about why Lampard has been given an easier ride than other managers, including Sarri and Solskjaer. The journalist who was on (didn’t catch his name) said it’s partly because he’s a nice fella who is accommodating with the media and answers whatever questions they put to him. I agree to a point, but it’s not just that though. It’s partly because he had a great playing career and doesn’t have an epic fail on his CV like Solksjaer, and also because he’s known for being a very intelligent fella. He gets the benefit of the doubt because it feels like he should be a good manager, regardless of whether he turns out to be one or not. The other reason he hasn’t had the kind of scrutiny Solskjaer has is because he hasn’t had a terrible run of results. They’ve had loads of bad results but they tend to be spread out rather in one run. Chelsea are just wildly inconsistent but when they’re good they look like they’re on the right road. I reckon (or maybe it's hope?) this is just who they’ll always be under Lampard. Some good, some bad. Same with United under Solksjaer really. Enough quality to sometimes look really good, but neither Lampard or Solskjaer are going to be elite level managers. The De Gea thing is just mad though isn’t it? I was thinking about this after the game. I remember writing that other than Fernando Torres the most staggering fall from a cliff I can remember is Joe Hart. Torres could at least blame injuries for his fall from grace but Hart just went from being a great player to a bum almost overnight. Now he doesn’t even have a club. I feel sorry for him actually as I thought he looked pretty good for Burnley earlier this season. They kept losing but he was their best player. Then they brought Nick Pope back in and started picking up wins, which kind of made Hart look bad even though he wasn't the problem. I tell you something though, I’d much rather have Joe Hart than De Gea these days. This guy is making mistakes at a rate even Jordan Pickford is struggling to match. And it’s been going on for long enough now that it isn’t a run of poor form, it’s just who he is. It’s been the most incredible fall from grace because it doesn’t feel like that long ago he was the only thing keeping United competitive. Now he's arguably the biggest thing holding them back. Along with Maguire. And Pogba. And Solskjaer. Monday Jul 20: With Bournemouth looking like they’re doomed the carcass is already being picked as City are signing Nathan Ake for £35m. Can’t say this concerns me too much. He’s alright like, decent player, but he plays in Laporte’s position and he’s not better than him. Maybe they’ll play him left back? He can’t do any worse than their other options there. Shit, Purple Aki would be an improvement on Zinchenko. There’s some talk that we might be interesting in a Bournemouth player too. That young left back they signed from Bristol City. His name escapes me right now but we wanted him before he went there and he turned us down to get regular football. He didn’t really get it though did he? He’s only played a few games unless I’m mistaken. The young left back at Norwich (Lewis I think) is another who we’ve been linked with. I haven’t watched him closely and don’t have much of an opinion of him, but I’m not going to look down my nose on any player we might choose to take from a relegated side and Gini and Robbo have done alright haven’t they? Shaq too. You can pick up some decent players from the teams that go down. Finally, the mystery player is Jermaine Pennant. …..and that was the week that was