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Showing content with the highest reputation on 22/03/20 in Posts

  1. I got this note from Gordon (Pistonbroke), from his hospital bed in Bielefeld, and he asked me to pass it on to "the lads": After a rough night I'm feeling a bit better, being on drips with liquid medicine is having an effect. Had all tests done for corona and have to wait 48 hours or thereabouts for the results. 8 people were taken to the city hospital with the same symptoms, but none of us has a high fever. So we are all lined up to have a camera shoved down our airways to check on them and lungs. That is planned for today as I'm nil by mouth. I'll let you know more once I get the results from both the camera and the corona test...
    25 points
  2. He's got mates on here - including me - who have been on sites like this together for over 20 years. Now may not be the time for your special brand of humor.
    13 points
  3. I had an Asda delivery due last night but they phoned up and said all their drivers are off sick so I could either cancel it or pick it up from Asda in Skelmersdale! Despite the fact I’m more likely to pick up a more deadly disease than Covid-19 simply by being in Skelmersdale I agreed to pick it up. Got there and they’d swapped my three packets of Custard creams for three packets of Fig rolls as they had ran out! @Tony Moanero would have had a heart attack. They also swapped some pasta mug shots for chow mein flavoured noodles. I accepted them and the Fig rolls anyway and went straight into Asda to put them in the food bank. So if you live in Skem and get a packet of Fig rolls after using the food bank I sincerely apologise.
    9 points
  4. Indeed they are, Matlock is shit.
    7 points
  5. That’s what yer ma says.
    7 points
  6. That would be heartening were it not for the fact that Dan Hodges has never got a single thing right in his entire lifetime, so I fully expect Cummings to become prime minister by the end of the day.
    6 points
  7. I'd give anything to stay inside for a few weeks but unfortunately I've gotta risk going amongst these fuckwits as we deliver vital stock to pharmacies .
    5 points
  8. Could you ask him if he still intends to drive up Berlin in a few months?
    5 points
  9. We need Paulie to tell people to wash their hands.
    5 points
  10. NHS aside, people working in shops. I weigh up if it’s worth the risk of nipping in, grabbing my bits, self serve and tapping the card but these heroes are there working overtime, being moaned at and interacting with hundreds of people a day.
    5 points
  11. Once accidentally booked me and herself in to Gullivers World’s pirate themed hotel, after being taken by the blatant false advertising. It was advertised a boutique, with no mention of the shite theme park and certainly no fucking pirates! We were away for a night away from the kids and this was our room... Needless to say my quick thinking and asking her to act out my scullery maid and Captain fantasy fell on deaf ears, as did everything i said for the next couple of days. Wrote a strongly worded email to trading standards and got the to remove the misleading pictures from their websites, but alas it the wife never did ‘shiver me timbers’.
    4 points
  12. It’ll be spun that the NHS was not fit for this and needs private investment to stop this ever happening again and because of its inefficiency lives were lost. There’s going to be a long period of ‘introspection’ then it’ll be business as usual, except our former EU partners will become the pantomime villains and we’ll fall in to bed with what’s left of America. Idiots will cheer and claim we’ve never had it as good. Memories don’t live long enough anymore and civic and community pride are things which have been lost to the ether for far too many.
    4 points
  13. Cornershop down the road from me has a sign outside saying "If you're not a regular customer, go away". Apparently they're refusing to serve anyone they don't recognise. Tubbs and Edward 1 - Panicked mob 0
    3 points
  14. Correct, we must play out all games for the integrity of the club and league. Unless we're playing clubs around West Ham in which case I'm available to play.
    3 points
  15. Back on the stealth herd immunity stuff, I was shit scared in the late 80s of getting AIDS. That was exclusively because of that advert with the tombstone that seemed to be on the tele every 5 minutes. Why aren't we seeing similar adverts, of a similar frequency, with coronavirus? There's been next to nothing. They could've easily done a short 1 minute or so advert and banged it on in between every programme. The "messaging" has been weak and half-hearted and hasn't really done enough to get people to move away from the PMs "take it on the chin" and "shaking hands" with coronavirus patients messages.
    3 points
  16. Well he's nowhere in the UK that's for sure.
    3 points
  17. It looks like something from a horror film, where someone develops an innocuous picture, only to find the ghostly visage of Peter Reid lurking in the background. But he was never really there...
    3 points
  18. Is it just me looking at him and thinking PG Tips and her thinking lesbian Roy Orbison
    3 points
  19. "I love the smell of Creme Fraiche in the morning."
    3 points
  20. Justified. 9/10. Seen the first 4 season a few years back and loved it but never got to watching the final 2. Started again from the beginning and finished it last night. One of my favourite shows ever, full of great characters such as the obvious Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder but also Wynn Duffy, Dewie Crowe, Limehouse, Dickie Bennet etc. Great show.
    3 points
  21. The guy in my local shop. It was my day off on Friday so I took the kids to school, I called in my local corner shop to try and get some bread and milk but i was in before they had their delivery, the man said it would be about 45 minutes, I said I would try and get back later on. Forgot all about it, went home went out for a few hours on my bike and went back to the shop in the afternoon to get some other bits I needed, unsurprisingly they had no milk or bread left. Went to the counter and the guy popped into the back and came back with a 4 pint of semi skimmed and a wholemeal loaf. Not only did he keep them for me, he remembered what types of milk and bread I usually buy. Not much but it is the little things.
    3 points
  22. What a treat to hear this on the radio Friday morning.
    3 points
  23. Climate change, for generously stepping aside and allowing us to concentrate on one crisis at a time. Spare a thought for Greta Thunberg too: poor waif is out of a job, and can't even go back to school.
    3 points
  24. The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them “Scraps”. They started crying. Spoiled brats, it’s really hard to find fresh food at the moment due to all the panic buying. And it was a stupid name for a dog anyway.
    3 points
  25. I like that they have to have 'We Are Not Bitter' in massive font, just to make sure no one thinks they are by mistake or something.
    3 points
  26. Thank fuck Nik Edwards is on the ball
    2 points
  27. Boris Johnson needs to be more...
    2 points
  28. The Professor is going to be very embarrassed trying to know more about the spread of this virus than someone who got an AS in Ecology.
    2 points
  29. Like England v Argentina in 1986. The footage appears to show Peter Reid in a position to put a tackle in and stop Maradona, but he was never really there.
    2 points
  30. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 in the respect nobody knew this thing was coming. When we one day look back on how we spent the years prior though, the tragic sense of needless waste really is going to be overwhelming. They were already the weakest, least qualified and most deeply mediocre group of politicians and prime minister we have ever had, in our existing situation. Let alone then adding something of this magnitude on top. Most of our focus with the tories is usually their selfishness and cruelty, be that active or passive. With this lot there’s a lack of basic competence or political bearing, right across the board. Fringe weirdos and intellectual lightweights. The perfect storm. Heartbreaking.
    2 points
  31. Panhandles bit on the side. Imagine Fitz in the supermarket today. "You can't buy 10 packs of loo roll, 12 packs of bacon, 22 steaks, 6 bags of potatoes, 24 Pot Noodles ,14 bottles of red wine and 20 bottles of Bells whisky" "10 packs of loo roll constitutes 1 item 12 packs of bacon constitutes 1 item........."
    2 points
  32. This is the most Tory thread ever. That landlord needs jailing. People who still compare this to the flu.
    2 points
  33. Counting myself lucky that I've got about 5kg of a mixture of shakes there and about 50 portions of porridge. Add that to my drinks cabinet and I'll hunker down like a crazy redneck doomsday prepper. Already setting up Rambo style punji traps in the garden.
    2 points
  34. As per the Coronacunts thread, a handy guide. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fEedCEuymNYlzkHdcEhymNkBO451FgVx84k5Fwpv9P8/htmlview#gid=0
    2 points
  35. A handy guide to corporate cuntery. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fEedCEuymNYlzkHdcEhymNkBO451FgVx84k5Fwpv9P8/htmlview#gid=0
    2 points
  36. Best of luck Piston, hope you’re back up, posting and arranging fights soon
    2 points
  37. If you use SKY online to pause your subscription,then get to the end only for it to say "technical difficulties please try again etc" go to your accounts and check future bills.I did it several times, then for May it now says SKY SPORTS paused - £28.00.
    2 points
  38. That the phrase “the pre-match shirt” is even a thing is hallmark the shitness of modern football.
    2 points
  39. Panic in the streets of Conway. Panic in the streets off County Rd. I worry to myself. Will life ever be the same again. The Walton side streets that you shit down. I worry to myself. Hopes may rise in the Wilmslow. But for Koppites it’s a no go. So you walk down. For a pint by the ground. But there’s panic on the streets Connahs Quay. Colwyn Bay, Rhyl and Anglesey. Burn down the Brick now. Hang the bastard DJ. Because he played that song today. It’s go nothing to do with my life. Hang the bastard DJ. Because he played that song today. Void the season, void the season. Void the season, void the season. Void the season, void the season. Void the season.
    2 points



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