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Just won my second CAMRA award. Leeds pub of the month for March. Get the fuck in.

He is massively important for Atletico - that is the kind of game where the keeper may need to make a single worldie save.

They can’t shut the schools now. I still haven’t recovered from the half term.

I've supported Liverpool all of my life, as my dad did, his dad and his dad before him. I come from a long line of Liverpool fans who hate our players. My great grandad despised Elisha Scott, as my grandfather despised Billy Liddel after him; so, I'm not interested in letting some Sky Gen, knicker wetting, soft southern fairy, super James Blunt fan supporting arsehole named fucking Zebedee cast aspersions on me and my family's right to support this football club as we have and always will.

‘That’s the supermarket done, now, next stop the solicitors to change that will. Won’t take long’

I take a blind bloke shopping and he does this, chats away to the cashier about nothing. When I once tried to discreetly tell him him there was a queue behind him he said "fuck em, they're probably old cunts with nothing to rush for" Hes 83, I let him get on with it.

I met my first girlfriend 18 months ago in town , first time in 43 years, it was the weirdest mad thing not knowing what to expect. She was still lovely and I became a blithering idiot but after while we got relaxed and had a great time , we met in the Globe at 12pm and left at 8pm , we then met 4 more times but as she was married she called time on it , rightly so, it was just meeting for a drink in town but we both started feeling like teenagers again . Im now gutted all over again now , as I was I was choogling along nicely and all of a sudden I’ve been derailed, spending my time thinking if only done this or that , or if I’d of gone wherever ,things could of been different . It can be a dangerous thing to meet someone as I did , Bittersweet is the word I believe.

Even though I’m well in the enhanced at risk group and feel irony insists Coronavirus must kill me this year, my Mum has just got back from Tenerife so it’s given me 14 days grace from meeting up. To be fair, a few thousand dead is probably worth it.

A girl called Anita from primary school. She gave me a 1978 Mario Kempes sticker and stuck it on the back of my snorkel Parker. She lived in a flat above the shops. The end.

When he was playing. From day one. Although I never suspected it at the time, the match fixing accusations seemed believable when they came out. Think I’ve mentioned it on here before but when I was a young kid, he threw the CSKA game in the European cup and I was fuming. Had an argument in the school yard the next day with my superfan mate who told me he was better than my dad. I had no reply and still don’t and I’ve carried that grudge since I was 7 years old.

Not happening that much this season but it continues to surprise me how much our own players are hated by fans, especially those that are injured a lot (I don't think they are happy about the situation either). How do you feel when a hated player scores? Have you changed your mind on someone you hate? I can only remember ever hating one of our players; Nicky Tanner. I was pretty young and I remember hoping he'd get sent off he was such a liability.

Never had any problems, just ask nice enough, don’t be a dickhead and look interested usually gets you far enough for her to forget that most men are cunts, but one night I had the opportunity with one of the most stunning women I think had ever been blessed upon this earth. For years I’d seen her, in passing, in clubs, at gigs, parties etc and she was always with her boyfriend. Over 3/4 years I’d probably seen her a couple of dozen times and we’d always made, hesitant, eyes and I’d never forgotten. Then one night she walked over to me and just started to dance with me, amazing.... except I’d taken a fuckload of LSD about half hour previously and my only response was ‘you’re not going to like me like this I’m bad and broken. Can I have your hair?’ or words to that effect. I still remember the look of sheer disappointment on her face. Didn’t see her ever again.

Might look for a house soon with period features. Although to be fair to my missus, she hates that nickname.

You couldn't outpoint him by k.o in Vegas.

Calm yourselves. We’ve plenty of time to get back into this. Show some faith.

As an expert in LFC injury announcements I can confirm Alisson is dead. RIP YNWA

I hated narcos, I watched the first 2 seasons and couldn't muster up tit energy to watch another. Just the same old shit, rehashed over and over. But each to their own

I kind of agree that in 2020 we probably shouldn't be objectifying beaver.

Just seen the new KFC advert showing people eating and then licking their fingers. Fair play to the fuckers, tearing up the Corona virus guidelines. Renegades.

Saunders has long been in danger of his wasting his career, what with the lengthy periods of inactivity, 1 or 2 fights a year when he's young and being an absolute and utter fucking dickhead in general, but there's a bit of the Fury's about him in the sense he's one of those who'll only look better as his calibre of opponent rises. Fury often used to look highly average when he was fighting average boxers, it's when he's stepped up in levels he's looked his best. I can see Saunders being much the same, not least because his focus has blatantly been terrible for much of his career but definitely won't be for this one. He doesn't "live the life" between fights as it is, let alone when there's been times he's clearly not fully committed to his camp and has looked sluggish and plodding against fighters not in his class. Obviously it's about levels, but his training and focus was widely said to be absolutely spot on for the Lemieux camp when he was with Dominic Ingle's stable. While Lemieux is nowhere near Canelo's level, it's no coincidence that's considered Saunders best performance to date. Just can't see him not putting everything in and being at his very best and sharpest against Canelo, and, like Fury, he'll have been fighting since before he could walk. He's also been after this or GGG for about 3 years and you could see how demotivated he was to take other fights instead. I think he'll put on a very good account of himself and surprise a lot of people, performance-wise. And I say that as someone who'd love to see him get wiped out.

Tough situation, but it's one that's been addressed by the philosopher/poet Enrique Iglesias. Would you dance if I asked you to dance? Or would you run and never look back? Would you cry if you saw me crying? And would you save my soul tonight? Would you tremble if I touched your lips? Or would you laugh? Oh, please tell me this Now would you die for the one you love? Oh hold me in your arms tonight I can be your hero baby I can kiss away the pain I will stand by you forever You can take my breath away

How much good could Bloomberg and Steyer have done with the $600m+ they blew on self-aggrandisement.

I agree , there again it's my fault for marrying her.

I worked on a bank counter for a few years and used to find this really awkward , but felt really embarrassed once when a guy said he loved talking to me about the football and I was the only person he spoke to most weeks.

JP McManus bought a horse yesterday, Alfa Mix is the name and it's entered into the Coral Cup and the Martin Pipe. Trained by Gavin Cromwell who is having a good season. He doesn't just buy horses unless he really thinks there's a chance of a prize. Was available at 25/1 yesterday for the Coral, now 10/1. I've backed it at 20/1 but could be one to keep an eye on.

"No one grows up wanting to be Gary Neville". Except Roger.

What position in the queue were you?

On the Pickford-Maguire thing you mentioned, it's physically impossible to NOT catch that massive slabhead even if you do have tiny arms. On the Shilton-Maradona thing, you're right that he doesn't get nearly enough criticism for going into lumbering oaf mode when challenging for that ball. It's like he couldn't get off the ground at all from a standing start. Same with when he conceded from a deflected Brehme free kick in the 1990 semi final. He was practically standing on his goal line and still somehow managed to get lobbed. David Seaman was a bit like that at times. Incredibly agile one moment, concrete-booted oaf the next.

Also had a little chuckle because I was able to throw in one of my favourite quotes from Step Brothers. "Stupid curly haired fuck" is an all timer.

Poulson quarantined a decade too late.

I hate Liverpool FC, not any single player. No, wait...

Close. The. Motherfucking. Thread.

Didn't realise it was that gormless twat Kavanagh that sent off Ancelotti. Before going on to confirm his complete and utter twatishness on Tuesday night. Absolutely no-one will be surprised to learn that he comes from......... Manchester.

Top, top Peter Shilton analysis there, Dave.

That's what happens when you give young lads star bucks.

Isabel (six months old senorita from mexico) lording over her new empire, with her yucatecan boyfriend (furnando) and arch rival for the throne (tabitha) below....

It's shitty behaviour, but I like to go all Columbo and solve the crime. "Hmmm, Galaxy chocolate, amongst the vitamins... A woman's chocolate. Lacks imagination, middle aged. She's overweight, and guilty. Third shelf up, meaning she's average height. She chose the vitamins because to leave it next to the Vagisil was too damning." Then you make eye contact with the most likely suspect at the tills. I'm fucking onto you. Alleviates some of the boredom of shopping anyway.

Like something Noddy would wear for playing tennis.

Three years in and I've just picked up Leeds CAMRA Pub of the Month which is a fairly big deal for us.

We were born within one hour of each other. Our mothers said we could be sister and brother. Her name was Deborah. It never suited her. They said that when we grew up we'd get married, and never split up. But we never did do, although I often think of her. Her house was very small, With wood chip on the wall. When I came around to call she didn't notice me at all. She was the first girl at school to get breasts. My mate TK421 said that she was the best. The boys all loved her, but I was a mess. I had to watch them trying to get her undressed. We were just friends, and that was as far as it went. I fid used to walk her home sometimes but it meant nothing to her, because she was so popular. It would never have worked. There's probably a song in there, somewhere.

Big injuries against Spanish sides with a plus goal average from the first leg. It’s what we do.

They could have put Carlos The Jackal onto Trump for way less.

And Starsky' amazing collection of knitwear. Fuck the 70's were cool.

Snowfall season 1 - 8/10 Very enjoyable show, they've done a great job incorporating the cartels, the CIA and the hood crack dealers. Franklins a great character.

The only way we should be looking to sell is if we know something about his medical issues that we feel like we could leverage to get a better deal than we should. He's been unfit but when he plays has been excellent. So it comes down to whether the sports scientists and doctors think he's likely to be fit more often in the future or whether they think he's likely to continue to have these problems.

The Victorians used to enjoy a day out looking at the patients in Bedlam but I bet they didn't go every week.