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Saturday Feb 1: L 4 Southampton 0. Imagine being an opposition manager trying to prepare a team to face us right now, especially at Anfield. It’s virtually impossible. Usually, even with the really good sides, there’s a weakness you can identify and try to exploit. Maybe they aren’t good defending crosses, or they’re susceptible to pace. Or perhaps the left back isn’t the best or one of the centre backs gets dragged out of position too easily. These are always things the analysts would spot and you’d try to take advantage of, but so many knowledgeable people are saying this Liverpool side has no weaknesses and we’re seeing this on a weekly basis. How the fuck do you beat us? The only way a team is going to beat us is if we have a huge off day (like at Old Trafford), and even then they’d have to produce their best game of the season to still win (unlucky, United!). Southampton were superb today. I couldn’t have been more impressed with them. They had a go, they played on the front foot and they were really well drilled in what the coach wanted them to do. For 45 minutes they gave us all we could handle. And then they lost 4-0 because that’s what we can do. At least they went in with the approach that they would stand or fall by doing what they do. One of things that isn’t really talked about but for me is one of the key factors in why we’re able to do what we do, is the level of analysis we do on the opposition. The Southampton boss said we’re so great because we never underestimate anyone, and that’s true. It’s also true that we study the shit out of everyone we’re going to play. I guess those two things are linked together. Look at today. Southampton caused us so many problems in the first half, but Klopp says that at half time his boy Pete picked out three examples of passages of play where we just needed to do something a bit different to open them up. This no doubt involved changing how we used Fabinho when playing through their press, and lo and behind in the second half we were just popping it around them and then finding space to run at them. This is what I mean. No stone is left unturned when it comes to preparation and as a result of that we can adjust to overcome any type of tactics or style. Of course it helps when you’ve got world class players all over the park, but other teams have had that too. They’ve never been able to do what we’re doing right now though. Meanwhile, the Hendo for POTY campaign is really rolling now. Shearer threw his weight behind it on MOTD tonight, Lineker agreed and Ian Wright offered up no argument against either. It might actually happen you know. Sunday Feb 2: What’s this bullshit? Juve ready to bid £150m for Virgil, apparently. Biggest load of clickbait shite since… since… well since that Richarlison story last week. Who in their right mind is swapping us for Juve, especially after seeing what happened to Big Sexy who is now at Dortmund. You don’t leave us and better yourself. Not any more. Meanwhile, City lost again. I’ll be covering this in the Round Up so won’t dwell on it here. One thing I want to mention though is how fucking frazzled Guardiola is. His post match interview with Sky was really uncomfortable viewing as he had that weird kind of forced smile you see from movie bad guys before they slit someone’s throat. He then went off on one about something Peter Scudamore said two years ago. Even leaving aside the way he’s twisted what Scudamore meant, this was fucking nuts. I’ve been telling you for ages how there are people behind the scenes at that club who are utterly obsessed with Liverpool and this is just the latest example of it. There’s no way Guardiola thought of that by himself. He’s not someone who sits there reading all the papers to see what’s being said about his team and I doubt he even knew who Scudamore was before today. For him to have said what he did after the game just tells me he’s been fed that by someone else there. Probably in the press office, as if you talk to anyone who’s had dealings with them they’ll tell you that they’re batshit fucking mental over there. So someone has told him he should bring that up and they’ve made him look like an absolute fucking tool. Not that he needs much help, but still. I reckon he’ll quit at the end of this season as he knows he’s beaten and unless he’s given another billion pound to spend (which he won’t be, as the FFP scrutiny on them is such that not even they would dare to be so brazen again) that City squad is not closing the gap on us any time soon. We’ve broken him like we broke Barcelona. Maybe he’ll go back and they can try to fix each other while sharing their traumatic experienced at the hands of the Mighty Reds. Monday Feb 3: Saw a City fan account on Twitter today clutching the straw that the way we’re winning the title isn’t as satisfying as their “Aguerooooooooo” moment. Gary Neville mentioned something similar a few weeks ago, but I don’t get it at all. This is way better and way more satisfying. It literally does not get any better than this, I wouldn’t swap this for the world. Take last season for example. Those last few months were torture, both for us and for City. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. It was for them in the end because they won on the final day, but it’s as much relief as anything else at that point. To win it on the last day, even with an ‘Aguero moment’, means months of stress beforehand. Yes, you get that incredible moment of elation at the end of it, but frankly I can do without that. Maybe it’s an age thing, but I’m enjoying this season way more than last because we’re miles ahead. We can save the drama and iconic moments for Europe. The league is about getting it won as soon as possible. It always has been. Tuesday Feb 4: L 1 Shrewsbury 0. That was FUCKING BRILLIANT. I loved it. From first minute until the last the kids were incredible. There was no let up, no dodgy spell, it was just utter dominance from the opening whistle until the closing one. Shrewsbury never had a spell in the game where they were on top. I thought we’d win the game but i never expected it to be as one sided as this. It really shouldn’t be when you take everything into consideration. A team of kids, talented as they are, should not be taking a League One team to school like this. It shouldn’t happen. But it did. Part of that is because Shrewsbury’s manager is clearly a bum. How can you set a team up so negatively to play against a load of teenagers? And the first corner they got they took it short and ended up back near the halfway line! Honestly, I’d have sacked him on the spot for that. You know what I was saying about our preparation and how good we are with that stuff? This is the opposite end of that scale. They were up against Sepp Van den Berg and the Ten Dwarfs and they took a short fucking corner. Honestly, he should be sacked immediately for gross incompetence. What about our lads though? Incredible performances right throughout the team. Neco Williams is a fucking machine, he absolutely owned that entire side of the field and could have scored four goals. From right back. He’s brilliant. Hoever is class, Sepp - who I’ve not been sold on at all - had by far his best game for the club (like a young ginger Sami!), Adam Lewis had a storming game at left back, Pedro was his usual classy self, Cain and Clarkson (who I’ve been raving about for for the last 12 months) acquitted themselves very well, Jones oozed quality, Elliott was boss and Miller ran himself ragged without really getting any joy. For all the shite we’ve had to listen to about how we’re ruining the magic of the cup and disrespecting the traditions etc I just think it’s funny how once again we’ve delivered a massive ‘fuck you’ to everyone. Klopp wasn’t there and he’s getting stick for it, but what would have been more ‘magical’. Klopp turning up with a load of senior players and knocking the living shit out of the minnows, or a team of kids managed by an unassuming, hard working coach who has spent his entire career trying to improve young players, going out there and performing like THAT and setting up a mouth watering tie with Chelsea. Oh and by the way, there were more people at Anfield tonight than there were at the other three replays combined. So instead of slagging us off, the traditionalists should kissing our hairy beanbags for single handedly saving this season’s FA Cup and making it interesting, because without us this tournament would be dull as shit. Wednesday Feb 5: Saw an interview with Curtis from last night and the lad absolutely fucking cracks me up. There’s this completely unintentional, endearing cockiness about him where he says things that seem completely normal to him but make you stop and go “what???” He did it the other week after Everton when he said that it can be frustrating that he isn’t playing. He’s a teenager who thinks he’s good enough to play in the best team in the world. He’s right actually (he is good enough) but the problem is there are six or seven top class, experienced, full internationals ahead of him! Anyway, in this interview he was talking about how proud he was to become the club’s youngest ever captain last night, and he said “I never thought I’d get the opportunity so early to captain the team”. Hahaha you’ve got to love that “so early” part of it. It’s completely unintentional and he’ll have no idea how that sounded, but he’s just told us that he’s always expected to one day be captain of Liverpool and the only thing that has surprised him is that it came so soon. I love this kid, he’s got that Robbie Fowler Toxteth quality where he just believes he’s the greatest, but not in an arrogant, dislikable way. Jurgen needs to find a way to get him some meaningful minutes, and I don’t mean the token garbage time minutes that Phil Foden gets at the end of City games. Id expect him to get half a dozen league starts between now and the end of the season because we’re so far ahead and will eventually prioritise the Champions League. Also, I think Jones and Williams should start every FA Cup game even if we go all the way to the final. The way they’ve played they deserve to see this competition through to the end. Thursday Feb 6: The final podcast of Carra’s brilliant series dropped today, and it was the best of the lot. That’s saying something because some of them have been absolutely fantastic (the Bellamy one was probably my favourite until now, although Hendo, Stevie, Southall and Merson all ran it close) but this one was just compulsive listening. So much so that I’m going to listen to it again later in case there’s anything I didn’t fully catch the first time around. It was Michael Owen, and never before has Michael been grilled like this. It’s what he needed too as finally he was able to get across exactly what his mindset was and the thought process he had when he was leaving for Madrid and then signing for Newcastle, and later the Mancs. Everyone will have their own opinion as to whether he was able to justify the moves he made, but the one thing I’d say he did is shine a lot more light on what was going on at that time and why he arrived at the decisions he did. So many times I’ve heard him asked a question, answer it and then there being no follow up. It’s done my head in because the interviewers seemed to be missing the point. I’d hear him say something and my reaction would be “yeah, that’s all well and good but what about x, y and z?” But no-one ever pressed him into answering x, y and z. Until now. Only Carra could probably get away with that line of questioning without Owen becoming overly defensive. Because it was two mates chatting it worked and Owen was able to describe, and in my mind at least, go a long way towards justifying a lot of the things that happened. I’m not even going to go into the specifics here as it’s been done time and again, but if you haven’t listened to it then I can’t recommend it highly enough. Have a listen, it’s well worth it, and if you still bear a grudge towards him after this then you must have a cold, cold heart! Seriously though, I understand people not loving him, I understand them not even liking him. Indifference is probably the most common feeling for most fans, but the one thing I can’t really wrap my head around is the active dislike and in some cases hatred towards him. Life’s too short. Fucking hell, some of the best days we’ve had as fans came because of him. How can you hate him? Ultimately, Michael himself even admits that the lack of love he gets from fans of the clubs he played for is largely of his own making (although he only seems to care what we think of him), but I just think it’s sad that any time he comes back to Anfield he feels on edge in case someone shouts abuse at him. I think his quote was “There are 60,000 people there and any one of them has the capacity to break my heart”. That just made me feel sad, because as I say, ultimately this fella is directly responsible for some of the best days of my life. They wouldn’t have happened without him and for that I’ll always be grateful. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he ever did, but life’s too short for holding grudges over petty shit like this. If I were to see him on the street I’d go over and hug him and just tell him thanks for the good times. And I’d also tell him to stop referring to United as ‘we’ when he’s on telly. Hopefully Carra already did that, as that’s what mates are for. Friday Feb 7: I don’t tend to pay much attention to European footy these days, but there are some interesting rumours coming out of Barca at the moment. They’re a dumpster fire. They have been since we broke them. Now there’s a lot of talk about Messi wanting out, which I don’t really buy but who knows. Messi is incredible and although I doubt I’ll ever concede that anyone is better than Maradona, I’m not going to argue with anyone who says Messi is the greatest ever. The whole Messi / Ronaldo thing was never even a debate ifor me because, irrespective of the numbers they both put up, my eyes always tell me that Messi is just by far the more gifted footballer, even though Ronaldo does have the edge over him in certain areas. One thing you have to say about Ronaldo though is he’s never just remained in his own little comfort zone. He’s tested himself and gone out and done it in the top three leagues in Europe. He’s also led an average Portugal side to major championship success, something Messi has not been able to do with Argentina. So Messi now has a really big decision to make. He can stay at Barca in his comfort zone, complaining about how they keep buying shite players and no longer have the money to push the rest of Europe around in the transfer market, or he could move on, to the Premier League, and show that he can be the greatest regardless of who he’s playing for. I think he’ll stay put, but if he were to come over here he’d end up at City or United because I don’t think Klopp would be interested in him and the Manc clubs are the only ones who would come close to matching the wage he’s on. Obviously there’s the Guardiola link too, but I’m not sure how much weight that carries as having worked with ‘Pep’ for several years Messi probably thinks he’s a bad weirdo. I’d love to see him over here (and if it was for us then I’d be buzzing like you couldn’t even imagine) because I think it would be fascinating to see if he could have the same impact in this league as he’s had in Spain. I don’t think he’s got the balls to try it though, and I also think he’s smart not to. If he came to play for us then Klopp would bring the best out of him because that’s what he does, but if he went anywhere else then we’d see the Argentina Messi rather than the Barcelona one. Finally today, Ashley Young flew his favourite barber out to Milan to give him a haircut. Now this story annoyed the fuck out of me far more than it should. If it had been Pogba for example, it wouldn’t have bothered me because he has his own unique (another way of putting it would be shit) style where he wants something different. I could see why Pogba would want his own guy, but Ashley Young has a fucking number one all over!!!! It’s bad enough he did this, but what makes it worse is he’s broadcasting it. Flaunting his wealth, the massive helmet. and that was the week that was….

Watford’s revival has ground to a shuddering halt after successive stoppage time defeats. They lost the Z-Cars derby 3-2 despite leading 2-0 and despite Everton having to play a large part of the second half with only ten men. Watford’s opening goal was a work of art. Absolutely sensational football from front to back, it had back heels, glorious crossfield passes, stunning control and eventually a fine finish from Messina. It was a Liverpool goal, and I can pay them no higher compliment than that. Their second was decent too, capped by a lovely finish by Pereyra. The first half was all Watford and they were well in control. Then they gave up two goals to Yerry Mina in stoppage time and went in at 2-2. Crazy stuff. Delph then saw red after two quick bookings. The second one was fairly soft but when you’ve been booked already you just don’t dive in like that unless you’re a fucking moron, which of course he is. The problem with Delph is that everything about his entire demeanour screams out ‘book me, ref’. He’s permanently snarling and aggressive, he’s always fouling and he’s a mouthy prick. He’s just not getting the benefit of the doubt. I'd book him in the tunnel before the game just to save time. Watford couldn’t take advantage of the extra man and got caught in stoppage time when Richarlison got away down the left and picked out Moise Kean who as usual completely fluffed his lines. Unfortunately the ball rolled perfectly into the path of Walcott to present him with a chance that not even he could squander. Several Watford players have spoken recently about how Pearson’s disciplinarian approach was just what they needed. I don’t expect to hear any of them talking like that now though, as it’s hard to talk when you’re wearing your own tongue as a tie. Big Nige isn’t going to stand for that kind of ineptitude. Any more of that and I can see him marching into the dressing room dressed like Stallone in First Blood, complete with the big fuck off knife. Speaking of ineptitude though, the Moyes effect is in full swing now at West Ham, who are in deep shit after being held at home by Brighton despite twice holding a two goal advantage. Diop put them in front and my boy Snodgrass added a second with a deflected volley. Ogbonna’s unfortunate own goal (Fabianski punched it against him) allowed Brighton to pull one back before Snodgrass bagged another deflected goal to restore the Hammers’ two goal lead. Moyes then tried to shut up shop with a defensive substitution but it backfired spectacularly as Gross took advantage of hesitation between the centre backs to give Brighton hope, before Glenn Murray bagged the equaliser despite initially looking like he handled it. Michael Oliver wasn’t going to give the goal but after a lengthy VAR check it was (correctly) decided that he didn’t handle it, but the big screen showed the one angle that made it look like he defo handled it which made the crowd go mad. I’m not a fan of replays being shown in the stadium as no good is ever going to come of it, especially if they’re not going to show the right ones. This was a huge result for Brighton as although they might still get caught up in the relegation mire, this keeps them above water for the time being. West Ham on the other hand are sinking fast. They’re in the bottom three and they’ve got a brutal run of games coming up in which they are unlikely to even pick up a point. Their run in is quite soft but by then they might be dead and buried. Let’s hope so anyway. Them and Villa going down would do me nicely. Villa also had a massive setback this weekend as they were beaten by ten man Bournemouth. Billing (who I’m fairly sure that this time last year had ‘my boy’ status) fired Bournemouth into the lead and Ake’s close range effort made it 2-0 six minutes later. Then Jefferson Lerma got sent off for a second booking and it was all hands to the pump for the rest of the game. Lerma gets booked every time he plays but the second one he got here was a joke. Grealish popped the ball off for a one two and ran into Lerma, who couldn’t get out of the way. It’s a foul, but the booking was really harsh. When you watch it closely you can see Anthony Taylor give a free-kick but he only goes for his pocket after Grealish appeals to him that it should be a booking. Poor refereeing, but it’s Anthony Taylor so it’s par for the course. Lerma gets so many bookings though that, like Delph, he’s never going to get the benefit of the doubt. New signing Samatta headed Villa back into it with 20 minutes to go and Grealish went close to an equaliser, but Bournemouth just about held on for a massive three points. Villa look like they might go, and if that’s the case Grealish is definitely going to have a new club next season. He won’t be short of offers as he’s been fucking brilliant this season. He’s won me over. He looks like a twat and for that reason I really want to dislike him, and for years I have done. Now though? The more I watch him the more difficult I find it to hold the haircut and stupid rolled down socks against him. He’s quality and he works his balls off. He loves Villa and he’s giving everything he has for them because it’s his team. I respect him for that, and until he inevitably ends up signing for United or Spurs, I’m going to err on the side of “I don’t mind him, he’s a good player”. The Mancs drew 0-0 at home with Wolves. They’re just so utterly irrelevant these days that I can’t even be arsed saying any more about them. I’m not even going to take the piss out of them signing Ighalo, because they aren’t worth it, the irrelevant shit cunts. One thing I suppose I can’t let pass is the hilarious, Hodgson-esque type comments Solskjaer keeps churning out. The latest being “nobody breaks Wolves down” even though they hadn’t kept a clean sheet in fucking ages. The other one was when he responded to a question about Wolves being difficult to play against by saying “they’ll say we’re difficult to play against. We’ve played them three times lately and they haven’t scored”. Great, when’s the “We didn’t let Wolves score against us” parade? Fucking losers. The only thing worth mentioning about this game is that my boy Traore dislocated his shoulder and just had the physio pop it back in so he could carry on. What a badass, like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. That game would surely have been last on MOTD if not for Newcastle and Norwich serving up an equally dire goalless draw at St James’. A frustrating afternoon for Newcastle as there was nothing to cheer or get your cock out to in this one (was that the most Newcastle fan thing ever by the way? I think it might just be). Moving swiftly on, third faced fourth as Leicester played host to Chelsea in the early game on Saturday. I watched the first fifteen minutes or so of this before I headed off to Anfield and it looked like Chelsea were going to run away with it. Every time I looked up they were running in behind only for Kevin Abraham to take a fresh air shot or fall over his own feet. I quite like him, he’s a good player, but he looked like he wearing someone else’s feet on Saturday. Rudiger headed Chelsea in front but Barnes equalised with the aid of a huge deflection. Chilwell put Leicester ahead but another Rudiger header tied things up. Wonderful header that one. Barnes should have won it late after being brilliantly found by Vardy, but his shot rolled agonisingly wide and it ended honours even. Interesting that Chelsea have dropped the world’s most expensive keeper. Understandable, because he’s fucking rubbish, but still interesting because usually when you pay that much for a player you have to stick by them. It won’t be long before he’s back in because Willy Caballero isn’t the answer. Not unless the question is “Name a shit, bald goalie who has been a back up for his whole career and is only actually any good in penalty shoot outs”. Yeah that’s right, I’m still bitter about the cunt denying us in the League Cup final in Klopp’s first season. Fuck WIlly Caballero. While we’re on Chelsea, I have to mention how surprised I was to see they sold Tariq Lamprey to Brighton. I’ve seen him a few times against our Academy sides and he looked absolutely fucking dynamite. Apparently he didn’t want to extend his contract and would have left in the summer so they sold him now. Brighton might have themselves an absolute steal there, and if not then they’ll be able to sell him to Bournemouth for £20m in a year. Selhurst Park now where Palace were beaten 1-0 at home by Sheffield United at the weekend in a game that could have gone either way. Baldock was lucky to stay on after flattening Zaha when already on a yellow. Terrible decision that really as it’s as obvious a yellow card as you’ll see. Joel Ward was then sent off only for the VAR to ask Andy Madley to take a look at it on the pitched monitor. He did, and he decided it was only a yellow. That’s how it should be done. It was a subjective call and he was within his right to give a red, but it would have been harsh. By telling him to look at it himself it removes the scenario where you have one referee over ruling another. Unless its a black and white issue just let the fellas on the pitch have a look at the replays and decide if they want to change their mind or not. The winning goal was something of a farce as the Palace keeper caught a corner and then came down behind his own line. I’ve been begging him up for weeks and he goes and does that to make me look stupid. Nice one, soft lad. This result made me happy because as well as having a soft spot for the Blades, all season I’ve been saying how bad Palace are and how annoying it is that somehow they were so high in the table despite seeming to be outplayed virtually every week. I’ve said they’re a definite bottom six team and now all of a sudden the natural order seems to be being restored. They’re currently seventh from bottom, and if and when Bournemouth or Brighton overtake them then that will be about right. Defo a bottom six calibre squad. Sheffield United are strange. They barely seem to score any goals and yet there they are in 6th place pushing for a top four spot. It feels like every week they either score one or none, but they’re such a well coached, hard working team they are able to overcome that. Ok so I’ve just checked and they’ve scored 26 goals in 25 games. It’s actually remarkable they are where they are when their forwards are Billy Sharp, Eddie McGoldrick and Ollie McBurnie. I think they have five goals between them. Then you look at the teams around them, such as Chelsea (Abraham) Wolves (Jimenez), United (Rashford), Spurs (Kane), Arsenal (Aubamayeng) and Everton (Calvert-Lewin). If the Blades had any striker scoring with the regularity of those mentioned they’d surely be fourth. Chris Wilder is a miracle worker. Palace don’t have a goalscorer either because Zaha has reverted back to the player he was a couple of years ago when he’d score four or five a season. Still, that’s three years work for Benteke. Onto Sunday now and Arsenal recorded yet another draw. Their game at Burnley was fucking dire. Burnley fans are used to dull as shit games but this was so bad it would put a glass eye to sleep. Arsenal started with Aubameyang, Lacazette, Martinelli and Ozil and they still didn’t look like scoring. It’s hard to actually process just how fucking shite the likes of Arsenal, United and Spurs are right now. We’re probably going to finish 50 points ahead of all of them. Imagine if a couple of years ago someone had told you that. Hell, imagine if six months ago someone told you we’d be 22 points ahead of City at the end of January. It’s fucking mental. It’s beyond anything I could have even dreamed of really. Being top? Yeah I could see that. Being top by a comfortable margin? Yeah, probably. Being so far ahead of the other members of the ‘big six’ that some of them need a NASA telescope to even see us? Nope, I’d never have dared to think that. Yet here we are, as Man City lost yet again. Some of the games they’ve lost have been well deserved. The four points they’ve dropped against Spurs though have been daylight robbery. The draw at the Etihad earlier in the season was one of the most one sided games you’ll ever see between two top teams. City fucking murdered Tottenham that day. Absolutely destroyed them, but somehow contrived to miss about a hundred chances and concede from the only effort on goal Spurs managed. This one wasn’t that different, only they actually managed to lose this. Spurs were shite but they rode their luck and then City imploded. That being said, it could have been a lot different if Sterling had been sent off when he caught Deli Alli’s ankle. He got the ball and caught him with the follow through. Personally I thought a yellow was just about the right decision but it could easily have been red as we’ve seen other players dismissed for similar. City were unfortunate in that they caught Lloris on one of his world class days. He made a brilliant save to deflect an Aguero shot onto the post and then he saved a penalty. What a farce that whole thing was though. Mike Dean initially didn’t give it, which was kind of fair enough because from where he was he couldn’t have had a clear view of it. So the game went on. And on. And on. And eventually VAR told him he’d made a mistake and it was a pen. The crowd went mad, Guardiola was annoyed at how long it had taken for them to give what was actually a pretty clear penalty, while Mourinho slouched back in his seat and was sarcastically laughing like a goon. So anyway, the spot kick was eventually awarded and Lloris saved from Gundogan. Then Sterling got to the rebound first and went down under the keeper’s challenge. Actually he went down BEFORE the keeper’s challenge and the keeper didn’t touch him. Dean this time pointed to the spot, and once again VAR over-ruled him. Hilarious scenes. A melee ensued in which Alderweireld and Zinchenko were booked, but it could have been any two of about a dozen players. Those two were no worse than anyone else really but Mike Dean is always going to make an example of someone in that situation. Mourinho was laughing again, until his assistant pointed out that if it was not a penalty then Sterling should have been given a second yellow. I’m sure you’ve all seen the clip, it’s an all timer. One of the funniest things I’ve seen all season. Mourinho is a showman. Most of what he does is an act and never was it more evident than with this. So funny. There’s no way he was as mad as he looked. It was pure WWE stuff and I loved it. I spent most of that evening watching it over and over, it’s just fucking hilarious. It’s amazing how little Mourinho bothers me now that he is barely even a spot of dirt in our wing mirror. He’s no threat to us so it’s easier to look at his various shenanigans and find them funny. There was a time when seeing him carry on like would have sent my blood pressure into orbit. It wasn’t healthy how much I hated him. Now I see him in the same way I see Pardew and Sherwood. He’s a clown. He amuses me. City continued to pile on the pressure and Aguero missed a sitter just before half time. Just after half time Alderweireld cleared off the line to deny Aguero and Gundogan ballooned the rebound over the empty net. Spurs were just not in the game at all and their goal was leading a charmed life until Zinchenko was sent off when he picked up a second yellow for a tactical foul and everything changed. He actually had the nerve to argue about it, the gormless looking shitbag. Fair to say I don’t care for him much. He’s got a hugely punchable face. Almost immediately Spurs took the lead with a terrific finish from new boy Steven Bergwijn. Son then made it 2-0 with a deflected finish from the edge of the box. Two attempts, two goals. Hilarious. Along with Wolves and Palace, Spurs are defo Man City’s bogey team. And us as well, obviously. Actually, if you have four bogey teams then you’re kind of in trouble, right? No wonder they’re so far behind us. This result got me thinking. Remember that famous interview in which a smuggest of smug Noel Gallagher was running his mouth about us? One of the things he said has actually proved to be spot on, but not in the way he meant it. He said that the Reds were “rivals” with City “for about five minutes”. You know who City’s main rivals are? Spurs, that’s who. They’ve failed to beat them twice this season and they were knocked out of the Champions League by them. My advice to City would be to stop obsessing about Liverpool and concentrate on trying to beat Tottenham. Once you’ve done that and actually look like worthy adversaries again, then we can talk. Until then, pipe down. Spurs followed up that win by accosting Southampton and stealing an FA Cup win from them in midweek. I watched most of it and the Saints fucking battered them only to be undone by two late goals, one of which came from the penalty spot after a blatant dive by everyone’s best mate, Son. It winds me right up how everyone seems to love that fucker. He’s top three in terms of biggest divers in the league, he’s a fucking cry baby and he’s a snide cunt. And what the fuck is all this “Sonny” shit from the TV interviewers lately? Geoff Shreeves was doing it on Sunday, and the bird on BT was at it after the cup replay as well. It’s ‘Son’, not ‘Sonny’. He’s not your mate, you absolute fucking cringey bastards. I’m sick of everyone tonguing his balls. He’s an absolute cunt but because he’s got a friendly, smiley face (when he’s not crying that is) no-one calls him on it. As I wrote earlier in the season, my mum was onto him before anyone else and she absolutely nailed it. He’s a sly, snidey, cheating little fucking shithouse. Fuck him, and fuck anyone who calls him “Sonny”.