Leaderboard

That piece is by my old classmate Jim Keoghan. He’s the bitterest person i’ve ever met. Some of his very best mates were Liverpool fans, before he moved to Brighton.

Finch farm ultras

We're smug, arrogant and obnoxious? At least we don't have a catchphrase on our badge telling everyone how boss we are. IN FUCKING LATIN!!!

Setting aside the fact you can’t just choose to stop playing certain fixtures (careful what you wish for, the Championship says hi), “Let’s stop considering it a rivalry” is yet another notch taken in on the same old belt...impotent desperation to get one over LFC. We can’t beat them on the pitch, how do we score a moral victory? I know, affect disinterest in them because they’re not the same club since money and business irrevocably changed football. Don’t remember those folksy principles when Moshiri arrived with his platinum card and Messi was going to be firing balls into our net from their flying spaceship of a new ground. The hangover will be absolutely mortal when they eventually wake up.

He correctly identifies the irrational, unhealthy obsession they have with us then runs through his version of all the reasons it's our fault before coming to the conclusion that it's time for them to finish with us.

What a fucking bullshit holier than thou piece of shit writing that is and we get labelled "always the victims". The boos the fucking boo hoos. Theyre shite by their own making, it's their fault it's no else's.

The Iranians know.

WhatsApp Video 2020-01-06 at 13.32.10.mp4

"Take a minute and think about all the characteristics that you loathe in a football fan. I’m no mind reader but I bet the ‘qualities’ such as smugness, a sense of entitlement and a lack of perspective will feature. What’s being described here is the archetypical Kopite, Kopite-erectus. Humourless, thin-skinned, braying, obnoxious, self-righteous, smug, arrogant, they are unique in their awfulness." Here's a mirror. Hold it in front of you. Look into it. Now repeat these phrases soundbites: Everton, aren't we! (not even a question) Sleeping giant. Back where we belong at the top. Moral high-ground. Wall-pushers. The Old Lady. Merderers. Always the victims. Senior club in the city. Slap the money on the table.

Everton remind me of an alcoholic that still hasn't hit rock bottom and can't admit they have a serious problem . They are never going to be a Liverpool , City or Utd again in the foreseeable future . Hard to take I'm sure but blaming the neighbours for every setback or their managers and owners for bringing in players that under-perform under the pressure of ridiculous expectations just makes their predicament worse. Maybe getting relegated would be a reality check but whatever happens unless they can calm the fuck down and stop frothing nothing is going to change. They should take a long hard look at Leicester or Wolves and see what can be done at medium sized clubs with the proper support and management. At the moment many supporters are an utter embarrassment to the club and themselves.

He’s incredible isn’t he? Probably my favourite player (although I could easily say the same about a dozen or so players in our current squad), but the more we learn about him as a person the more impressive he seems. Well in Sadio lad. That’s a sharp motherfucking suit as well

It’s not remotely miserable. It’s a consequence of success. If they were successful they would have more fans and a smaller proportion of local fans. It’s just maths.

But the ‘rivalry’ no longer makes any sense. The factors that created it have lost their grip. We are free, should we choose, to no longer participate.

I see they're taking it well

Bullshit, it was a tactical masterclass.

Give it giggseeeh til the end of the century

I'm well aware that it's subjective, but the British version of The Office is better for so many reasons. I liked the American version, but i admit i lasted about four episodes after Carell left before i gave up. 1) Believable characters. I'm sorry but Dwight and Michael became absolute caricatures and ridiculously unbelievable as the series progressed. 2) Believable storylines. The episode of the US Office where Jim puts an Asian version of himself at his desk (with a perfect knowledge of Jim's life and client history) would never have happened in the UK version, because the banal nature of the place they worked and the job itself was what made the characters situations funnier and as mentioned above, believable. 2) It didn't outstay it's welcome. Two series and the Christmas specials was the perfect length and everyone got the ending they deserved. Perfect. 3) Every individual character in the UK version was more likeable than their US counterparts* Jim and Pam were sound but got cloying in the end. Dawn and Tim never got to that stage, because it ended at the perfect time. Gareth was a million times better than Dwight, because he was basically pathetic and it didn't have to rely on tiresome Redneck/serial killer gags for you to realise it. And despite his patheticness, you still rooted for him. 4)*yeah, even Finchy. 5) So many quotable lines. I can't off the top of my head think of a single quote from the American version, whereas not a single day passes without me wanting to quote the UK version.

Nah...the day everything changed was the day 35,000 of us did this...

No shit...I was getting score updates on that game in the waiting area of the hospital while they prepped my wife for an emergency C-section. Within an hour my twin boys were born at 27.5 weeks! This was yesterday. Fair to say they've been good luck charms for Klopp's Red Machine. Cheers boys!

Forget that people died at a football match. Everton fans are the real victims.

Took 12+hours over five evenings to build. Han Solo figure used for scale !

My dad, a blue, used to say that the Italian fans were as culpable for starting the violence that night, and that to just ban English teams was wrong. He’s a proud scouser that recognised that saying that about Liverpool fans was saying it about blues too.

We are free, should we choose, to no longer participate. "No, it's not because I'm losing, but I'm taking my ball and going home"

If Everton as a club stop gauging everything they do through the prism of whatever we are doing, they might actually gain a sense of perspective, recognise the problems that are in-house, and look to tackle those problems. The trouble is, their ownership regime and certain managers have merely sought to reinforce their skewed perspective to the point where they don't even know that there are other perspectives out there - ones that will actually be tangibly beneficial to the club. They can't live without that readymade excuse for failure.

I was fine with it until the bit about Anfield. No. There isn't a stick left of the Anfield they left. There are surely only fragments left of Shankly's Anfield. Yet it remains all of the above, the sum of all its history. It's a lesson they should learn in their deluded belief that a swanky new pad will make them great. Instead, they look at Liverpool's success and come to exactly the wrong conclusion. Locked in a destructive cycle of their own bitterness.

Silver lining of course, is that Dennis Tooth may now be moving to Canada.

Socks over the knees should be a bookable offence - one in each half. Come out for kick off with socks over knees - booking Come our second half with socks over knees - sending off Ever do it again - banned from wearing socks for 3 games and forced to wear shinnies on their own like when you forgot your socks for footy at school.

Oye! Oye! Ole! Ole! I do not careth what it costeth. Handeth him the parchment and imploreth him to sign. Sir Rio of Cunting

What a hero.

Hmmm, negged

They terrorised a cross channel ferry fighting with West Ham and United fans (I think) (1986). United fans caused a wall to collapse at Ayrsome Park on an exit gate and it killed two elderly people who were Boro season ticket holders (12/1/80). We’ll always have Heysel hanging over us because, regardless of how circumstances conspired to allow it to happen, it was us who were there and, had our fans not charged, there wouldn’t have been those deaths. That’s the reality and it will never change. You will never, ever, get some Evertonians to change their view that we cost them European domination that night, because it has become the crutch protecting them from the reality that they, and only they, have suffered for thirty five years and they are completely out of step with every other club that were directly affected by the ban after Heysel. For them to accept Heysel didn’t have as much of an effect on their fortunes as they claim is asking them to admit they have been badly run and poorly managed with sub standard players since then, and that this is the real reason for their continued failure to become successful. It won’t happen, and until something does happen to change their fortunes, Heysel will be the only thing they will be able to hang onto for “justification”. We should just get on with it and carry on winning shit.

Fair fucks to them. Always liked Harry and she's fit as fuck. People can't help what they're born into.

Scenes from Finch Farm...

FFS. Heysel hurt Everton. It hurt us too. They were in a financially better place than we were in the years immediately after that. They signed Cottee for more than £3M and were ready to go. They won the league in 87. They failed to capitalise. Fuck em.

That article is the worst thing I've read in a long time. It makes no sense, it's a terrible analogy. He's comparing us to a married couple and talking about wanting to split up. We're not a couple, we never chose each other. We're basically siblings who are stuck with eachother.

He has done another lengthy articabout the club he isn't bothered about basically saying that Heysel is the only reason they are shit and how it is all down to liverpool. My Dad always used to say to his Evertonian mates "How many Evertonians does it take to change a lightbulb?". 40,001. One to go round the shop, buy it, come back, take the old one out and put the new one in then turn the light on. The other 40,000 just sit around moaning that its broke and keep blaming Liverpool without doing anything.

This, 100%. When I started reading I was thinking it was nice to see a bitter who was not acting the knobhead but unfortunately he kept on typing and insanity, bitterness and hatred prevailed.

The gates at the Farm of Finches swung open and the Maester in all his pomp strolled out, with him his trusty guardian Sir Duncan otherwise known as the Pigeon. A huge man of mountainous rage. They spoke briefly with Lid and ushered him and a few trusted men through the gates to discuss the end of the siege. After what seemed like an age of secret discussion the Lid and his men came back through the gates. The Lid’s Man at Arms, Tight Lips spoke to the crowd on behalf of a subdued Lid. “ We will continue to lay siege here men, we demanded to see Moshiri Lord of the Loan but he would not see us, we demanded hostages to lift the siege but none would come forward “ he spoke badly and seemed possesssed. With the Red Hordes closing in on victory time was short for Lid the Migthy, unless a saviour from a far lad could be sought. Off to the Golden Arsenal. To continue.....

You need to calm down and reattach your head mate. You sound worried to me.

If it doesn't work out for him at Hertha, maybe he could join Worfgang Worf at Worfsburg.

Yeah, people have woken up and voted for the people who foisted austerity upon them. Corbyn and the left have done a great job there.

Maybe, just maybe, they’ve just had enough of people being cunts towards them and thought ‘fuck this, we don’t need it’. He’s ‘resigning’ from a job he didn’t apply for and about half the people hate him for having to do. One of the perks of the job is it makes him a target for terrorists and nut jobs who want to kill him and his family. So yes, it’s reasonable that we pay for his family’s security, otherwise there’s a very good chance that they’ll end up dead.

That was right after a fluky, smash and grab against the biggest bottlers in Europe. I mean, Ole had shown zero tactical acumen in that tie. None. Absolutely embarrassing to frame that victory as anything more than pure luck, but to say it was gonna be the start of some sort of dynasty? Crazy. Some of the worst, most lazy football journalism of the decade. Even the press in France, who usually put down their own teams and exaggerate the greatness of other leagues, were baffled by the things people were saying about Ole and United.

Gollum will win. It's what he does.

Things I learned from this; * The dance was a ‘floss’. * 7 year olds could teach the world a lot. * I’m a special type of cunt.

I took the birds lad to his rugby on Sunday morning. It’s under 8’s, they only play tag rugby and tackling is not allowed. The club have an inclusivity policy and they have a kid with Downs Syndrome on their side. He was head and shoulders above anyone else on his side or the opposition and weighed at least double that of every other kid there. I’m watching them all warm up and whilst he’ll never make a sportsman in his life, had zero hand/eye coordination and couldn’t catch a cold he had more enthusiasm than anyone. It was also lovely to see how encouraging and supporting all his teammates were and not once did anyone say anything negative towards him when he dropped the ball yet again. About 5 minutes into the second quarter and I see the coach call him over and tell him he’s going on. He also spends a couple of minutes reminding him of the rules, ‘you have to pass backwards, you can’t tackle, grab their tag, enjoy yourself and have fun’. It was actually quite moving to witness, as soon as he was on the pitch his teammates were all cheering him on and passed to him straight away. Although he knocked on. The game restarts and their opposition player ran straight towards him, only for ‘Jack’ to completely forget everything he’d been told on the touch line only a few minutes earlier and absolutely fucking smash a kid less than half his size with a crunching tackle to make a Maori proud. He then stands up proud as punch and does a dance over this little scrawny runt who is led on the floor looking up and seeing stars. I had to walk away from the pitch I was laughing so much and was in physical pain where I couldn’t stop.