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First on Match of the Day this week were Villa and Brighton. Surprising, given that Chelsea, Spurs and City all played on Saturday. Amusing too, because so did Everton, but there’s more chance of a satisfactory outcome to Brexit than there is of the Blues getting the top slot on a Saturday night. They were on third though, because Children in Need were sponsoring the game and the BBC therefore wanted to give it the publicity it deserved. Maybe next time they can get Comic Relief to sponsor them and they might get top billing? I’ll get to the Blues in due course, but Villa and Brighton were deemed more important by MOTD so who am I to argue? Brighton took the lead in contentious circumstances thanks to some bizarre refereeing by David Coote. He ignored a clear foul on the edge of the box but probably immediately realised his mistake as he then punished Hourihane for a perfectly executed challenge a second later. He booked the poor bastard as well. Scandalous. Brighton scored from the free-kick too, jut to rub Villa’s noses it further. That was as good as it got for them though, as Aaron Mooy, one of my former boys before he fell out of favour for reasons I can’t remember, was then sent off for two quick bookings. The first was for needlessly fucking about to prevent Villa taking a free-kick. The second was for a needless foul on Grealish. Kicking Grealish is one sure fire way to get back on my good side though. Villa then thought they’d equalised through Hourihane, only for VAR to…. get this….. OVER-RULE the ref and disallow the goal for a dubious foul on the keeper. It might have been a foul, and if the ref had given it then it was one of those 50-50 calls where you can understand either decision. You know what it defo wasn’t? CLEAR AND OBVIOUS. Yet they overturned it. Fucking shambles, but I guess it’s a lot easier for a senior ref in the office to over-rule a YTS ref like this hapless fuck than it is for the hapless YTS chump (who was on video duty the next day) to over-rule Martin Atkinson at Old Trafford. The decision didn’t cost Villa in the end as Grealish prodded home from close range soon after to draw them level. Brighton did really well and looked as though they’d held on, but with the last kick of the game Matt Targett fired past the outstanding Matt Ryan to break their hearts. How has Targett ended up at Villa? He’s highly rated isn’t he? He’s even been linked with us a couple of times but he’s playing for Villa. That said, they’re probably better than Southampton and he doesn’t have Bertrand blocking his path, so it’s working out well for him. City fielded a centre back pairing of Fernandinho and Rodri at Selhurst Park but still won easily and kept a clean sheet. I said a few weeks ago when Laporte and Stones got injured that there are some games where they could wheel Richard Dunne out of the boozer and stick him at centre half and still not concede, and this is one of them. On paper it looked a tricky game as Palace actually have a surprisingly good record against Guardiola’s City. They’ve had more joy than most, put it that way, but just like their current league position it’s more down to luck than good judgement and City never broke sweat. Jesus opened the scoring with an attempted header that actually hit his shoulder. Jammy bastard. It was obvious from the first whistle that Palace were defending far too deep but they’re a Hodgson side so… *shrugs*. Their centre halves should have been wearing wellies as they were so far back at one point I swear they were almost in the fucking Thames. David Silva volleyed in a fine second a minute later, with Palace’s defence again camped inside their own box. The only surprise was there were no more goals after that. There should have been, as De Bruyne was brought down in the box for what looked like a clear penalty. Anthony Taylor wasn’t interested (no really) and VAR didn’t over-rule him, because, y’know, he’s a senior ref. City weren’t happy and rightly so, but don’t worry lads, Manchester’s finest is in charge of us this weekend so he’ll do his best to make it up to you then I’m sure. Benteke came off the bench with ten minutes left and almost scored with his first touch, but his powerful header was brilliantly turned onto the bar by Ederson. Great save that to be fair. Ederson also denied Zaha as Hodgson belatedly realised that with no centre backs in the opposition side, it might actually be worth, y’know, having a bit of a go. While Norwich and Wolves are taking it to City and actually beating them, Roy was “taking a lot of comfort” from his side “not letting their heads drop against such a fantastic side” and because they “asked one or two questions” of City. Yeah well done, when’s the fucking parade? Palace are exactly who I thought they were. A bottom six team riding their luck and punching miles above their weight. They’ll finish bottom six, you just watch. The shithouses. Palace are definitely a fraud team in a false position and I’m not sure the same isn’t true of West Ham. Here’s the thing, I have felt since before the season started that there would be one or two teams from the pack that could play a little bit above themselves and put pressure on United for 7th spot. West Ham started the season well so I had them down as maybe one of them, along with, say Burnley and Bournemouth. The Hammers have some very good players but they have some proper shit ones too. They were fucking rubbish at Goodison, and that makes me think they’re not really a threat to anything about 10th. All depends on that striker really and if he’s as good as he’s looked so far. The Hammers’ keeper looks like a mafia hitman, which ordinarily would have me rooting for him, but not when he’s gifting Everton three points. Sorry, this cunt needs to be sleeping with the fishes after this. He allowed Bernard to score, which in itself is shameful enough, but it was the way he allowed it that was most unacceptable. Terrible that. Meanwhile, I see the Blues have nicked the old United “Giggs will tear you apart again” song and adapted it for Bernard. Cringe fucking central. One, they’re always nicking songs and it’s just embarrassing. And two, “tear you apart AGAIN”??? When’s this little fraud tore anyone apart? I don’t ever remember him even scoring before this, and even this one was jammy as fuck and would never have gone in had West Ham fielded an actual goalkeeper instead of a fucking bag man from a bank job. West Ham almost equalised in the last minute and if that had gone in there’d have been riots. Rightly so too. Paul Tierney gave West Ham a corner despite their player committing the most obvious foul you’ll ever see, right under his nose. He’s one of the worst refs him, which is no mean feat. It’s like being the greediest Tory or the most nasal sounding United fan. Sigurdsson then went up the other end and lashed one in from 20 yards to make the game safe. Remember when he used to score a dozen of those a season when he played for…. wait, who the fuck did he play for before he went to Everton? *checks wiki* Swansea!! Fucking hell my memory is getting worse by the week. I sat here for a couple of minutes trying to remember that. I knew he was at Spurs and knew that was sandwiched in between spells somewhere else, but my mind was coming up blank. Hate it when that happens, but it’s a regular thing nowadays. After the game there was all sorts of fawning about Andre Gomes. Yawn. He’s a myth - a Great White Pogba. He’ll have a few games where he looks boss and that’s enough for some to think that’s who he is and that’s his true level. It isn’t. If it was, ask yourself this; what the fuck would he be doing at Everton?? Moving on, and Leicester are still rolling but they’ve got VAR to thank for beating Burnley. Wood headed Burnley in front but it was a weird one. Leicester’s two centre backs dropped deeper than everyone and just stood on the edge of the six yard box marking Jay Rodriguez, waiting for a cross. The cross came in, and Wood arrived from deep to out jump everyone. I honestly don’t know what they were doing, it just looked odd. Vardy headed Leicester level when he climbed highest to meet Barnes’ excellent cross from the left. The Burnley fans had been singing “Jamie Vardy, your wife is a grass” so he’ll have enjoyed that one. I don’t reckon she did it, but guilt or innocence doesn’t really factor into when it comes to the ‘bantz’ and Vardy will have to live with this for a while now I expect. He’ll defo get it off Villa fans and they’ll be all smug, acting like they’re the first ones to do it. Unfunny, unoriginal bastards. Wolves too, they’re almost as bad. Tielemans fired the Foxes into the lead but Wood thought he’d equalised at the death. Jon Moss thought so too, only for VAR to over-rule him. It’s absolute bollocks. Never a foul in a gazillion years that. Johnny Evans knows how to sell minimal contact though, just ask Jonjo Shelvey. I know I’ve said it before but I’m going to keep saying it. I hate Brendan’s little fucking notepad and I’m convinced he never writes anything relevant in it. It’s purely for show, to make him look like he’s paying attention. I don’t think I bear him any ill will, yet my immediate, instinctive reaction any time I see him on my screen these days is to mutter “knobhead”. Is that just me? Chelsea had a good week. They beat Ajax away in the Champions League and a few days earlier they’d picked up three points with a home win over Newcastle. It took them a while to finally break down the Geordies packed defence through Alonso, but they were well worth the win as Newcastle offered virtually nothing. They’re ticking over quite nicely so far, but for some reason I feel like a sticky spell is around the corner at any moment. Also on Saturday, Spurs had the perfect opportunity to get back on track as they took on hapless Watford at home. They almost fucked it right up though and needed a VAR blunder to bail them out. Watford were given an early boost when Danny Welcrap went off injured in the second minute and was replaced by Deulefeu. Soon after they took the lead through Doucoure. Not a co-incidence. You know who’s a twat? Danny Rose. Diving little fuck. His lame attempt at winning a penalty was rightly ignored by the ref, but any credit for that was cancelled out when the official failed to award a spot kick to Watford when Deulefeu was clearly fouled by Vertonghen. That is exactly the kind of incident where VAR should come into it’s own. You can understand a ref not being sure if there’s contact but when you see the replay and it’s just a blatant foul, you have to overturn that. Its just shit that as usual an incorrect decision was backed up by the thing that is there to avoid that. Watford were left pissed off with the video ref again when they were convinced Alli handled before scoring late on. I thought it was his shoulder and they got that one right. Watford should be more angry at the complete fuck up by Foster that led to it. Spurs were dreadful though and if Watford had more quality they’d have smashed them. They wasted three glorious counter attacks with poor finishes and Spurs were wide open all day. They were better in midweek against Red Star but their form going into Sunday’s game at Anfield is fucking wretched and we will hopefully take advantage of that. Wolves thought they’d taken the lead against Southampton when Jimenez finished from close range. Lovely build up play that was. It was ruled out for offside though. VAR working well for once there, as it was offside even if it never looked like in real time. Ings then scored for the fourth game in a row to put the Saints ahead. Jimenez levelled from the spot after the ref adjudged that Hoijberg fouled Doherty. Not a pen for me that one. He doesn’t even make a challenge, Doherty just runs into him and dangles out a leg to ensure contact. Looked like a pen in real time but VAR should be correcting that. That was how it finished, and the point is better for Southampton than Wolves. Neither Bournemouth or Norwich had kept a clean sheet all season so sod’s law said this would be goalless and it was. Bournemouth had the better chances, as you’d expect, but neither side deserved to win. Good point for Norwich, and one they really needed. Finally, Monday night saw Arsenal go the full Arsenal and lose meekly at Sheffield United. Was anyone surprised? I probably have a higher opinion of Arsenal than most and still think they have a decent chance at finishing fourth, but they’re always going to have half a dozen of these games every season and this wasn’t the least bit shocking. They’re just soft as shite and a side like Sheffield United will have well fancied their chances in this. Monday night, live TV audience, an ‘up and at em’ opponent that works for each other and plays to a well organised system…. it had Arsenal defeat written all over it. They lost to a set-piece too, which was even more stereotypical Arsenal. Games like this are why Arsenal aren’t relevant anymore but they win enough home games against shite to still be a contender for the top four. The heat is starting to build on Emery and there were rumblings of discontent in their Europa League game until Pepe came off the bench and turned it around with a couple of free-kicks. It feels as though Emery is a couple more losses away from getting the Wenger treatment though. Stay tuned to Arsenal Fan TV for more fun and games.