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  1. That'll be this one.
    9 points
  2. Nothing controversial about it. Beans are one of the basic ingredients of the full breakfast. So basic that if your one of these fucking weirdos who don't like beans on the plate, you have to specifically ask for them not to be included. Otherwise the person serving you will just assume your quite normal and include beans given that they're part of a full breakfast.
    7 points
  3. Next up, we spend 100 posts discussing whether 'take the bull by the horns' amd 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' incites violence against animals or cruelty to children.
    6 points
  4. They could use the trophy room.
    6 points
  5. Saturday Oct 5: L 2 Leicester 1 Footy is mad these days. The last couple of years has completely changed how we perceive results. A draw at home with the third or fourth best team in the country has never been a bad result. It isn’t always a good one, but it's ok. At least it always used to be. Now, any dropped points feels massive so that last gap Milner pen seems bigger than it probably actually is. I don’t think this is how it’s always going to be, but it is how it is right now as a direct result of what City have done over the last couple of seasons. The scars from last year run deep and any point dropped feels like it could be decisive, which is ridiculous when you think about it as we're not going to win all 38 games (although going into the season I thought we might need to win 34 to improve on 2nd place). For all we know City might not get anywhere near 100 points this season though, and if that’s the case then as fans we can chill out a bit because this feeling of “needing to win” every single game is fucking exhausting. Last season was great because we won number six but the stress of that title challenge was brutal because there’s just no margin for error. It’s probably helped us though, because we’ve had a few games this season where we could have dropped points but didn’t. This is the closest call we’ve had so far but Chelsea and Sheff United weren’t exactly comfortable either. The lads know how to get it done though. Getting a penalty so late on is a bit fortunate (although it was a pen) but not when you look at the last ten minutes as a whole. After conceding, we regrouped and then piled on the pressure. The win was fully deserved. Brendan was talking some bollocks about them deserving a draw but they had two chances in 90 minutes and I’m fairly sure one of them was offside. We could have scored five. Klopp was made up with how the team played and you can tell he thinks a lot more of Leicester than most fans seem to. He says they’ll finish in the top four. Not sure I’d lock them in for it but they defo have a chance because there are big question marks over everyone other than us and City. Also today, the u18s came from a goal down to win 6-1 at Everton. These games always make me laugh because when Everton score their players go absolutely fucking nuts. Completely over the top in their celebrations because it’s just ingrained into everyone at that club to hate the redshite. I’ve been to loads of these games and it’s always the same when they score. Same thing happened here, but then the young Reds just slapped them around and humiliated them. I like this team, especially the midfield. Cain and Clarkson are a joy to watch, two proper cultured little footballers, and I like the look of James Norris too. Sunday Oct 6: City lose, United lose and Everton are in the bottom three. Fucking hell, what a day. It’s hard to comprehend that we’re eight points ahead after only eight games. City have lost two and drawn one, which isn’t great (and is almost a crisis by their standards) but in the past would have normally seen them only a point or two off the top. As I said though, the bar has been raised. This time by us. Now they know how we felt last season, the pricks. They’ll get themselves back on track eventually but these problems they have aren’t going to be fixed in the next few weeks and there’s a chance for us to extend this lead and virtually make ourselves uncatchable. City will drop more points between now and Christmas, so the key is for us to make sure we drop less then them and then see where we are in January. The rest of the country all seem to be saying the title race is over and the only ones not saying it are Reds. Yet if this goes tits up you just know we’ll get mocked with “them deluded scousers thought they’d won it”. No-one I know thinks we’ve won it, how could we ever be that cocky and presumptuous when we haven’t won the league for so long? Maybe if we’d been enjoying a run like we had in the 80s we’d be full of that type of bravado, but that’s not the case. I’m not prepared to say we’ve got this in the bag but to be honest if I supported someone else I’d probably be looking at how good Liverpool are these days (and how wobbly City look) and I’d be thinking that it’s over. It’s only our own fears and insecurity stopping us thinking like that, but that's not a bad thing. Meanwhile, there was a weird line up for the 23s today. They won 3-2 against Wigan, but half the players you’d expect to play weren’t there. Surprisingly, Harvey Elliot did play though, and Yasser Larouci played centre forward. Dixon-Bonner scored twice and Tom Hill got the other. Joe Gerhart played for Wigan. He’s the 17 year old scouser we’ve been linked with. He looked class and scored twice. He looks like a better version of Bobby Duncan. Hopefully he’s less of a knobhead. To be fair it would be tough to be more of one. So there’s some talk that the FA are going to look into the incident at full time yesterday when that loser Ayoze Perez lost his shit and went for Robbo. Jeez, that’s the very definition of ‘nothing to see here, move along’. There’s no way anything will come of that as Robbo didn’t do anything and as much as I can’t stand that giraffe necked twat Ayoze, he didn’t really do much either. Monday Oct 7: Ben Woodburn broke his foot and will be out for three months. He’s been doing quite well at Oxford apparently, but this is just in keeping with how the last two or three years have gone for the kid. It's sad, but his career might have peaked at 17 with a goal in front of the Kop in the League Cup. In other news today, it’s emerged that Barca haven’t paid us for Coutinho, although we have had all the money. It’s complicated, but from what I can tell either we sold the debt to a bank so we got our money (and Barca owe the bank), or Barca borrowed the money to pay us and now they need to pay it back. The gist is that they’ve got an £80m bill for a lad who is now playing for Bayern Munich. This is great, it’s made my day. Absolute fucking 'more than a club' wankers. Tuesday Oct 8: Four years to the day that Klopp arrived. It’s really not long in the grand scheme of things and it's hard to believe the incredible progress we’ve made, especially considering the disappointment we had along the way. Remember when we kept losing finals and some of us (like me) believed we were cursed? It felt at times like we’d never win anything again, but you can’t keep Klopp down and that resilience has proved infectious as his players never give up. The last two years have been sensational. It started with Salah arriving and us suddenly scoring four or five goals every other week, and then Virgil came in to shore things up at the other end. Since then, two Champions League finals, the highest points tally in our history and who knows what this season will bring. It’s amazing when you go back to Klopp’s first press conference and revisit the things he said. He’s made good on everything and he’s done it in the exact timescale he said (four years). Doubters are now believers, we’re the Champions of Europe and we’re contending for the title. This is what we hoped we’d get when he arrived, but the fact he’s done it and not needed to be bankrolled by oil money is just remarkable. He’s the best manager in the world and by the time he leaves he’s going to have a place alongside Shanks, Bob and Kenny on the LFC Mount Rushmore. Wednesday Oct 9: Messi reveals he almost left Barca in 2014 because he wanted to leave Spain due to ‘the tax thing’. Yeah, can’t blame him. Cheeky bastards making him pay tax just like everybody else. Do they not know who he is? The older he’s got the less likeable he’s become. At least Ronaldo has always been an arrogant twat and never really pretended to be anything else. Messi and Ronaldo are the living embodiment of the clubs they are most associated with. Barca are as odious as Madrid but have always had this pretence that they’re the good guys, whereas Madrid have never really given a shit what people thought of them as long as they were successful. Thursday Oct 10: Bobby scores for Brazil in a 1-1 draw with Senegal, but Sadio stole the show with a dazzling display, running Dani Alves and Marquinhos ragged on Brazil’s right flank. He’s really cranked it up a notch since the turn of the year hasn’t he? Fabregas was tweeting last week that he’s one of the three best players in the world and Messi voted him as number one in his Balon d’Or selection. I wouldn’t argue too strongly against that as they might be right, but equally I’m not even sure he’s one of the three best players in our squad. He plays in a role that gets more recognition, but Alisson, Virgil and Robbo are all the best in the world in their respective positions, while Bobby remains massively under-rated by the wider football world. Sadio is brilliant though, no question about it. When was the last time we had so many players who were right up there with the very best in the world at what they do? Never. Rafa’s 2008/09 team had a fair few, but not this many. Meanwhile, Rodri says City are teaching him how to commit tactical fouls properly. Brilliant this, as Guardiola is always at pains to deny that he instructs his players to do this. Presumably by properly they mean without getting booked, like he was on Sunday? He also said that Liverpool are the best team in England and in Europe and that we’re the team everyone wants to beat. Cue a load of paranoid Reds calling it mind games. It’s not, it’s the truth. Klopp continually calling City the nest in the world is mind games because it's not true. We don’t really want to admit it to ourselves because nobody wants to tempt fate and rightly so, but forget who you support for a sec and look at the facts. Over the last 46 league games we’re seven points better than City and we’ve won a European Cup. So what part of Rodri saying we’re ‘currently’ the best isn’t true? It doesn’t mean we’ll still be the best by the time we reach May, but as of now what he said is 100% accurate. Friday Oct 11: Harvey Elliott is banned for two weeks because of his Harry Kane impression on social media. Some of the reasons used in his defence were fair enough. His age being and the immediate contrition he showed being two obvious ones. There was one thing that cracked me up though. “It was not aimed directly at Harry Kane”. Hahaha you fucking what? The exact quote was “Lmllmlmlm I’m Harry Kane and I’m a fucking mong”. In what way is that NOT aimed at him? Because he wasn’t tagged in? Amazing scenes. I'm ok with the ban as it's more of a token punishment and probably deserved, but it's a bit rich when City's players were carrying on the way they did on the plane last season and nothing was done about it. Not to mention the Palace keeper getting away with doing a Nazi salute. Still, two weeks is nothing and the main thing is he can play in the League Cup. Just browsing through NewsNow to see if there’s any other stories I can use for today. One headline is for an article titled “there reasons why Liverpool should avoid James Maddison transfer”. No need to click on that, those reasons are obvious. 1. His haircut 2. His face 3. The price. If you want you could also throw in the constant diving. Finally, England played tonight. I know this because I saw posts on social media of their fans acting like knobs. They lost. I know this because I saw that Henderson was trending and that only happens during England games if they haven’t played well and they need a scapegoat. Turns out they lost to the Czechs, which is great because it saddens me how shit the Czechs have become since their mid 90s heyday. I also read that Sterling won a penalty in much the same way as Mané did last week but the reaction to that one was completely different for some reason. “Used his professionalism” “felt the contact and went down”. Be interesting to hear Shearer’s take on it given the hypocritical bollocks he came out with last week. Tell you what’s hilarious though - England’s back five. Pickford, Trippier, Keane, Maguire and Rose. Fucking hell, that’s grim. I quite like Trippier, he’s a good full back but he’s not fit to lace Trent’s boots and the others are fucking garbage. It’s mad that Keane is even in the squad, let alone the team. Even Everton fans will tell you that their defence is fucking woeful, yet Southgate is picking their keeper and centre half. Keep up the good work, Gareth. ....and that was the week that was
    5 points
  6. Yet he ultimately ended up in prison because he liked sticking things in his friends from behind.
    5 points
  7. Not only that, I’ve sorted the apostrophe crime too! It’s a two-for-one deal. How’s that for service? You’re welcome.
    5 points
  8. 4 points
  9. I hear Rashford won the clubs MUFC goal of the month competition for September. Because he scored the teams only goal of September and that was a penalty.
    4 points
  10. He's carried the team after Christmas last season and he's doing a great job now helping out, what a fantastic player he is. A wonderful person too, love him.
    3 points
  11. Genuine google search for the word woe.
    3 points
  12. Been called allkinds today as I took the kids out swimming and they put their feet all over two plastic bags in the car. Turns out that there are banners in these bags for her Mums birthday next week. They have apparently been on the floor in the back of the car for 3 days. However, I was supposed to be a mind reader and know this even though she has never mentioned it before and I was a lazy cunt for not moving them or bringing them into the house to keep safe.
    3 points
  13. Its not just that though, his finishing looks so much more composed, even shots from outside the area.
    3 points
  14. It's listing mate -- hard to port!!
    3 points
  15. They look ace and your glass looks pissed.
    3 points
  16. My nieces baby is clearly unhappy at something as she keeps throwing her toys out the pram. I was considering giving her a knife but fear she may cut of her nose for some reason.
    3 points
  17. “Everything's coming up Millhouse” was the phrase that kept coming to me as this weekend unfolded. We got a stoppage time penalty winner to go eight points clear, City lost at home to Wolves to keep us eight points clear, and then United lost at Newcastle to put Everton into the relegation zone. An absolute Bon Jovi of a weekend. It kicked off with Spurs plumbing new depths by getting spanked by Brighton. It doesn’t impact us as Spurs are no threat anymore, but it’s still fucking funny like. It’s one thing being torn apart by Gnabri, Coutinho and Lewandowski, but who in the blue hell is Aaron Connolly?? Never heard of him before this weekend. In fact, the first I heard of him was when I saw his name in a group chat on WhatsApp. “Aaron Connolly is lovely” declared John G. What the fuck??? Well this is a new development. I mean I’m good with it, live and let live, but I can’t say I’m not a little shocked. Then I see underneath he’s corrected himself by saying “lively!!”. Right, ok that makes sense. Except who the fuck is Aaron Connolly? Having watched MOTD I can reveal that Aaron Connolly is a teenage Irish striker who looks like a 12 year old with a fake beard glued to his face. He scored twice to add to Neil Maupay’s early opener as Brighton slapped Spurs around the Amex to collect their first win since they beat Watford by the same score on opening day. I’m tempted to say that maybe Brighton aren’t as bad as people think, but it’s probably just a case of Spurs being worse than anyone could have possibly imagined. Lloris gifted Brighton the opener with a trademark blunder. He’s good for half a dozen of these a season. That number will probably be less this time as he busted his elbow in the process of dropping this clanger and will now miss three months. It might be for the best really. The back up might not make as many special saves as arl Hugo, but he sure as hell won’t make the same kind of spectacular fuck ups either. Spurs were rancid though. It’s hard to believe just how bad they’ve been this season. The rot started last season even if most of us didn’t realise it at the time. At one stage they almost got themselves into the title race but then they just started losing games all over the fucking shop and ended up fourth. Reaching the CL Final and that fluke win over Ajax maybe masked the problems they were having, but there’s no hiding place now. They’re a mess. Credit to Brighton as they played well and fully deserved the win. Connolly was indeed lovely, I mean lively, and his second goal was a cracker. That result was surprising, shocking even. But the result that really made me do a double take on Saturday was at Carrow Road. Norwich have turned into a pumpkin since they beat Man City. It’s mad; you beat City and then a few weeks later you’re losing 5-1 to Aston fucking Villa. It could have been worse too as Villa missed a pen. Wesley was the culprit, although he had already scored two by that point so no real harm done. Grealish then scored a nice goal to make it 3-0. He’s probably a very good player but I struggle to see it as I’m so blinded with disdain for how he looks. I bet when he’s not wearing a footy kit he dresses like a Peaky Blinder. Twat. Some cat called Hourihane (never heard of him before) lashed in number four and Douglas Luiz curled in a beauty to make it five. Great goal that. Think he scored one like that earlier in the season too? He’s got rid of the ridiculous hairstyle now though, an example his captain should probably follow. Norwich did manage a late consolation goal and the lad who scored it went and picked the ball up out of the net and ran back to the centre circle with it. It was stoppage time and they were 5-1 down, but 10/10 for optimism. Credit where it’s due, Villa were good (they’ve been decent all season in fairness, even if the results haven’t always shown that) but the real story here is Norwich. I know they’ve got players out injured and some of those who are playing aren’t fit, but 5-1 at home to Villa tells me that I’ve completely over-rated them and my initial fear that they might be this year’s Fulham now sadly seem justified. They’re second from bottom and it’s not a false position, despite what they did to City. I don’t want them to go down because I like how they play, but if I’m being completely honest it’s mostly because it will make me look bad after I was bigging them up. I’d like to think they will win enough home games to stay up (especially after they beat City) but if you’re losing at home to Villa then the writing is surely on the wall. Prince William was there with the family. He’s a big Villa fan of course and Dean Smith joked afterwards that he’d happily get them tickets for all their games if this is the result. Yeah, that’d be about right, someone else paying for them to live the highlife. Freeloading fucks. Ok, so watching Villa doesn’t exactly qualify as living the highlife, but the point stands. While Norwich and Villa were going at it, the other newly promoted side continue to pick up points steadily and unspectacularly. They’ve got the same points as Manchester United and at this rate might end the season as the highest placed United. They drew away at Watford this weekend which is a decent point for them and a bad one for the hapless Hornets, who remain rock bottom. Watford should have won but Dawson missed a free header, Gray fluffed an open goal from five yards and Danny Welcrap went clean through and shot straight at the keeper. It would have been more of a shock if he’d scored to be honest. Fucking rubbish him. Marcus Rashford, that’s a glimpse into your future that, lad. Wait, hold on, I forgot about another United. West Ham. They are clearly the best United in the league currently. They’ve been getting some good press lately and there’s even been some talk they might be a threat to break into the top six. I wouldn’t rule it out purely on the basis that the Mancs certainly won’t be in it and Spurs are in freefall, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that West Ham are not very good either. They lost at home to Palace in a gut wrenching manner as Ayew’s last minute winner was initially ruled out for offside before it was overturned by VAR. Haller had prodded West Ham in front but Declan Rice handled in the box allowing Van Aanholt to equalise from the spot. Palace then won it in the last minute to pick up another win in which they never looked anything other than mediocre. I keep saying Palace are shite because I’m yet to see anything to convince me otherwise. Well, there’s the league table, obviously, which apparently never lies, but if it’s not lying then it’s defo playing a practical joke on us with Palace. They’re joint fourth and only two points behind City. Other than us and City, no-one has more away points in 2019 than Palace and I think they might have the fourth highest points total, which is fucking mental, because they are shit. By shit, I mean a bottom six side. Or are they better than that? Tell me if I’m wrong here. They can’t keep this up and it will catch up with them eventually, but hopefully not too soon as they’ve got City at Selhurst Park next. Imagine if they won and leapfrogged them in the table! If that happens then even I will give them credit and admit I might be wrong. One thing I know for absolute certain is that Everton are shite. They lost again on Saturday. No surprise there as they were away from home and they always lose away from home. I honestly didn’t give them an ice cube’s chance in hell of getting anything at Burnley and so it proved, as Coleman was sent off and Hendrick volleyed the winner for the Clarets. Once again, I’m looking at Pickford on that goal but I seem to be the only one, other than Alan Shearer who said ‘he should do better’ but his opinion is worthless as he didn’t think Mané should have had a pen. Still, it could be worse, he could be Danny Murphy who put Choudhury’s foul on Mo down to tiredness, even though the fucker had only come on the field five minutes earlier. Everton though. They’re in such a bad way aren’t they? I was talking to a Blue I know the other day and he just had nothing to say. Didn’t want to discuss them at all, he’s just utterly given up. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Onto Sunday now, and what a great day that was. Unless you follow a Manchester team of course. United losing at St James’ Park should have come as a surprise to no-one. They don’t look like they can beat anyone at the moment. They’re hilariously shit, I actually think they might be worse than we’ve been at any point over the last 30 years. Maybe we were slightly worse in the dying throws of the Souness era, or at any time during the Hodgson one, but I’m not sure we ever had a run of results as bad as Solksjaer’s currently on. Of course even when we were at our lowest ebb we were usually able to raise our game when we played United and some of our worst teams managed to get results against some of their best, so when we go to Old Trafford next week I expect a completely different United to the one we’ve been watching lately. It shouldn’t matter though, even if they raised their game by 80% they’d still be nowhere near our level, unless we dropped ours by the same amount in which case in might end up 0-0. My feelings towards Newcastle fans are well documented but I like Steve Bruce and you’d need to have a heart of stone not to be pleased for the Longstaff brothers. That was just a really great story. How can you watch that and not smile. Two brothers who’ve been fans of the club their whole lives, getting to play together in centre midfield against Manchester United, and the younger one scored the winner on his debut. It’s just brilliant feel-good story unless you’re a Man United fan. I’m really happy for the pair of them as it’s such a genuinely great story. It won’t be once they’ve played a few games and the novelty wears off, but right now this is boss. You know what the best part of this was though? Martin Keown comparing Matty Longstaff with Paul Scholes, presumably just because he’s ginger and plays in midfield. Hilarious, not least because of the fume it will have generated in all the Scholes fanboys. HOW DARE HE!! They’d take offence if you compared Pirlo with Scholes, let alone some Geordie teenager who’s only played one fucking game. Keown also compared Sean Longstaff with Carrick, which again will have caused ructions within football hipster circles. Good work, Martin, I like it. Your best bit of Manc baiting since the Van Nistelrooy incident (still cracks me up even now any time I see the footage of that). While United were being embarrassed up on Tyneside, Chelsea were re-enforcing their top four credentials with a routine win down on the south coast at Southampton. Kevin Abraham’s clever improvised finish set them on their way. That’s six goals in three away games for him and nine in total. Mount made it 2-0 with a well taken finish for his fourth of the season, Ings pulled one back but Kante restored Chelsea’s two goal advantage with a deflected shot before substitute Batshuayi wrapped it up. Abraham and Mount have been one of the biggest stories of the Premier League season so far. Chelsea look like the third best team at the moment and those two young lads have been the main reason for that as they’ve been terrific. Both did well in the Championship but I don’t think anyone (not even Lampard) really anticipated them making this kind of impact. It does make me wonder how Harry Wilson would do for us if given the chance. Harry was just as good as those two at Championship level and he’s started well at Bournemouth, but he doesn’t have the benefit of playing with genuinely top class players (all due respect to my boy Ryan Fraser). The big difference between Wilson and those two is opportunity. Chelsea’s forward line wasn’t great and Lampard had a free swing at it. They got their chance through default / necessity, whereas Wilson was trying to break into the best front three in world football. If he was a Chelsea player he’d probably be tearing it up right now. Harry did ok on Sunday but he couldn’t prevent Bournemouth going down to a solitary goal by David Luiz in the opening ten minutes. The Gunners aren’t impressing at all and could easily have dropped points in this one. They’re a lot like Man United only they have a better manager and better forwards. And some genuinely good kids coming through. So not really much like Man United at all really. Sorry Arsenal, that was harsh. Dom Solanke is starting every week for Bournemouth now but he never scores does he? It’s just not happening for him. They should probably play Josh King up front and get my boy Fraser on the left wing, but I hope Solanke can turn it around. Not for any particular reason other than I kept saying I thought he was going to be good and he’s making me look a dickhead by being about as much of a goal threat as that worm with eyebrows Almiron up at Newcastle. Like a stopped clock, I do get it right sometimes. And I absolutely nailed the City game. Sort of. I was in the car with Adrianna on Sunday morning and she asked who City were playing and whether they’d win. I said they’d probably win comfortably because they’re at home and Wolves have been crap this season. However, I then went into great detail about how there is a faint glimmer of hope because City’s biggest weakness is the left side of their defence (with Otamendi and whichever slapdick left back happens to be playing) and that Wolves have this player who is the fastest in the league and who has finally started to add some quality to his pace. God’s honest truth here, I spent about five minutes telling her how Adama Traore has matured and that he could expose City if they don’t score early and then roll all over Wolves. I told her about how City leave their centre backs exposed and that Otamendi is a one man disaster zone, and that if Wolves can isolate him and use Traore’s speed they could do us a big favour. I went into such specifics that I even managed to convince myself it might happen. The key to the game was if Wolves could hold out long enough to be able to mount some counter attacks. I gave it maybe a 5% chance though because in all likelihood City would score early and run away with it. I then forgot about all about it and didn’t even give it a second thought until Adrianna asked me what the score was later on. It was half time and when I checked it was still 0-0, but apparently Wolves had missed two or three great opportunities on the break. Having since watched the highlights, they missed two sitters and should have had a penalty when Jimenez was clearly fouled from behind. So having read about how well Wolves had done, I was defo watching the second half because it was going exactly according to plan. If City don’t blow you away early then you have a chance, and clearly Wolves had brought their ‘A game’ for this one. When they’re at it they’re horrible to play against because they’re so resolute and they carry a big threat on the break. So I watched the second half and I saw City toiling away while never really looking like doing anything. Silva hit the bar from a free-kick but the usual onslaught you’d expect just never came.Wolves carried the bigger threat all afternoon, at least they did on the rare occasions they were able to break out without being fouled. City were doing the old ‘tactical foul’ thing, except this time the ref was having none of it. I think they had six players booked. I mean shit, at one point they had two players booked for fouls in the same counter attack! Well done Craig Pawson, hopefully this is something that refs have finally cottoned on to, because if City have to cut down on the tactical fouls that stop the opposition getting at their clown show of a defence, they’re fucked. Phil Taylor might be the greatest darts player that has ever lived, but how good would he be if he wasn’t allowed to hit treble twenty? Tactical fouls are Man City’s treble twenty. It’s the key to everything they do and without them they’d be exposed every week. Wolves kept them at bay with an ease I don’t think I’ve seen from anyone in the last two seasons. It was weird, because usually I’m watching City games with a sense of foreboding that at any second they are going to score. This time I didn’t have that. They looked toothless and Wolves were dealing with them easily. Defensively they were sensational but what won the game for them was the tactical change made by Nuno Holy Spirit, when he sent on Doherty to play right wing back, freeing up Traore to go up top. Traore had actually done a great job defensively on Sterling, but now he was able to do what I had been hoping to see him do. Exploit the space and run at that shitty City defence. And boy did he do that. City were becoming increasingly ragged in their attempts to break Wolves down, and when Cancelo gave it away cheaply Jiminez found himself with acres of grass to run into and only the hapless Otamendi in front of him. The result was what you’d expect. It’s one of the biggest mysteries in football how this fucking train wreck of a player has had the career he has. Hell, some cunts even voted him on the Team of the Season a couple of years back. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that, it was mind blowing. Here’s the thing. We often describe opposing players as shite when really they aren’t. I do it all the time, but it’s all relative and they’re obviously not shite. A good example is Jon Walters, who I mocked unmercifully for years. I’ll admit it now he’s retired; Jon Walters wasn’t shite. There, I said it. I feel dirty now, but it’s true. Otamendi genuinely IS shite though. He’s a massive liability. He’s always getting booked for hauling players down after they’ve skinned him and it’s not even like he compensates for his shite defending by being good with the ball at his feet (like David Luiz for example). He’s shite at everything. No redeeming qualities at all. I don’t know how the hell he’s ended up at City and playing so many games because he looks to me like the worst defender in the league. The only mitigating factor in his defence is that maybe if he played for a Burnley or a Palace, with lots of protection from full backs and his midfield, he might not look as bad as he does. Maybe. In City’s system though, where he is often left one v one against opposition forwards, he’s as bad as any player in the country. I’ve said it before, but Otamendi is Lovren on one of those mad days he has, only he’s like that every week. Jimenez just left him flat on his arse, but when you watch it you see that he didn’t even really do anything. The commentator described it as “an incredible bit of skill by Jimenez”. Since when has running in a straight line with the ball been an “incredible bit of skill”? Because that is literally all Jimenez did. There was no trick, no stepover, he just ran with the ball and Otamendi ended up on the seat of his pants. Jimenez found Traore in space and he did the rest. I shouted to Adrianna to come and see. She comes in and I tell her “Wolves are winning, and look who scored”. She couldn’t believe it, not just that City were losing at home to Wolves, but that the player I’d told her could do the damage had just scored. Poor kid genuinely thinks I know what I’m talking about now. She’ll realise eventually I’m full of shit and I make these kind of predictions every week and they never come off, but for now I’ll bask in the adulation that Traore has provided. I put something similar in the WhatsApp chat too with the lads. Credit was given but the adulation I got from Adrianna wasn’t forthcoming from them, probably because they know the sun even shines on a dog’s arse somedays. Anyway, at 1-0 I felt great because even if City somehow came up with an equaliser (which never looked likely), a draw was still great for us. City huffed and puffed and had a couple of half chances, but Wolves stood firm and then in stoppage time my boy Adama (he’s my boy now, how could he not be after this?) went clear again and finished them off. City are now eight behind us which is not that big a deal considering they play us twice. That being said, they’d need to win those games and given the way they’re defending they can’t be feeling good about their chances. If they play like this against us, they’ll be on the receiving end of a worse beating than the one they gave Watford. I’m not being complacent because I don’t expect they will play like that against us. I’m just saying, if they did we’d fucking kill them. I’d never write them off in the title race either because we’ve seen how they can just reel off 16 wins on the bounce. Yet it does feel different this season. They just don’t look the same, because they aren’t the same. Kompany has gone and they’ve lost Sane and Laporte to long term injuries. De Bruyne was missing too, and Bernardo is looking down the barrel of a lengthy ban. I expect they will get back to what they were, but how many more points will they drop before they find their mojo again? Hopefully plenty. They are so wide open at the back and the cavalry isn’t coming any time soon. Stones coming back will help, not least because Fernandinho will be able to go back into midfield, but that won’t solve everything, especially while my boy Otamendi (he’s my boy now, how could he not be after this?) is still in there. What a fucking weekend!
    2 points
  18. Just got back from seeing it. Absolutely stunning. That was the definitive comic book Joker for me. I watched You Were Never Really Here last night, that was Phoenix's Taxi Driver. This is his King of Comedy.
    2 points
  19. Countdown to the new stadium, they fucking love clocks, cuckoo clocks. Here's an interesting one https://lastwonatrophy.co.uk/everton/
    2 points
  20. Junior: Remember the crazy hair and the dope? Now it's fags in the military. Livia: Stop it, Junior. You're making me very upset.
    2 points
  21. Bump. These weeks just last FOREVER. Ban international football immediately.
    2 points
  22. When did you lose your way aRdja? Is there any hope for you? Pray for Mojo
    2 points
  23. More lies. He sits on the opposition front bench. I’ve never once seen him sit on a fence.
    2 points
  24. It tastes even better than it looks...and could easily be made without the blueberries if you wanted, Tony I think so. A runny paste of icing sugar and lemon juice
    2 points
  25. Americans having pancakes with syrup and bacon for breakfast. Fucking weirdos.
    2 points
  26. Bobby got an hour against Nigeria and fab only ten mins today. Both now have a week to prepare for this. Netherlands away to Belarus, Scotland home to San Marino, both at 5 so hopefully robbo, virgil and gini come through unscathed so that'll be everyone bar the England lads back by the morning.
    2 points
  27. After recommendations on here, watched Parasite, last night. A really enjoyable movie and to add even more weight to it, Ms Butty watched it and she really enjoyed it as well, even though she had to "pffffffffff read subtitles" 8/10
    2 points
  28. Remember when the Echo was worth a read?
    2 points
  29. Perfect place for this would be the trophy room although a lack of viable targets may cause some consternation edit, darn you manwiththestick and your fast fingers
    2 points
  30. 2 points
  31. I'm still not into it. I stopped watching Man Utd games in 2009 and I stopped watching Liverpool-Man Utd games entirely in 2015 . It was the best decision I've made this decade and I can't recommend it enough.
    2 points
  32. Not all heroes wear capes
    2 points
  33. It's funny they could bring that up, when they loved the Mersey millionaires tag, they loved having moshiri and are desperate for uncle uzzie to be involved. As soon as they get a sniff of money, they can wait to swing their dicks and be as big a Tory "I'm alright jack, considerably richer than you" cunts as you can imagine.
    2 points
  34. Good, the media has given far too much exposure to climate change deniers aleady.
    2 points
  35. 2 points
  36. Eleven, featuring our very own forum legend Simon Green / Maroulis. Rented it off Amazon because I've been meaning to watch it for ages. It's got 4 out of 5 stars on the Amazon rating but I'll go 6.5 out of 10, mostly because I was buzzing that Si was in it. He was good, really pleased for him. The film itself was ok.
    2 points
  37. You're once, twice, three times a nonce & I looooooooove yooooouuuuuuu.
    2 points
  38. Needed a second shelving unit as I had run out of space. Now have a good stock of various, since the picture I know stock peychauds, aztec chocolate bitters, overproof rum, Absinthe, Tequila, Cognac,
    2 points
  39. Can vouch for Istanbul. One night we went to a restaurant for some kebaps. They served the meat on a 4 foot broadsword A fucking sword.
    2 points
  40. I’ll raise you my latest new recipe Blueberry and Lemon Cake
    2 points
  41. Millions upon millions of tiny trial-pack size containers of moisturiser-for-men.
    1 point



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