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They must be in meltdown tonight. It's funny, our game can fuck my weekend up and I fucking hate losing the 12.30 Saturday kickoffs the most as it goes through my weekend. But can you imagine those obsessed twats, their team hasn't even played yet and it's like they've lost twice already. It won't matter what result they get tomorrow, their weekend is already fucking ruined! Haha. Brilliant.

@Anubis @chevettehs

Well fuck me sideways. I've made it in to The Good Beer Guide 2020. Four years of hard work doing what I love doing and I've got a CAMRA pub of the month award plus this under my belt. Fucking made up.

It was as if the voices of thousands of plastic, soulless fans screamed out as one in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Stroll in the park. Although we were quite sloppy early on, we didn't have to get out of 3rd gear for the whole of that 90 minutes. Just more care in possession and purpose and movement in attack and we'd be all over them. So it proved. Good goal by Willems. Excellent equaliser from Mane. Great hussle and vision from Firmino to win the ball back and set up Mane for his second, which owed a lot to weak goalkeeping from Dubravka who failed to gather the initial ball in. Then Bobby with a touch of the sublime to set up Salah for the clincher. That was just pure sex that one. We could still have scored a hatful even though we weren't in scintillating form. Robbo was unlucky not to score. Trent could have had a couple of goals. Ox showed great energy even if his first touch got away from him at times. Fabinho and Gini were rock solid in midfield. Gini nearly scored a goal-of-the-season contender with a brilliant first touch and deft volley over the keeper and just over the bar. If there is a negative, it's the sluggish way in which we started. We had nearly all of the ball but weren't moving it around quickly enough, or pulling the Newcastle back 9 out of position. Maybe Origi's early knock played its part in that because he didn't look that mobile and able to find space. He should have done better to test the keeper with his headed chance but otherwise he struggled. Origi's knock meant he had to come off early and he was replaced by Bobby. Bobby hit his stride very quickly and his touch, vision and movement were outstanding all afternoon. Some of his link-up play has to be seen to be believed. The only thing missing from his performance was a goal. On song, Bobby is such a great player to watch. 5 games, 15 points and a trophy in the bag going into our defence of our European crown. Can't really ask for more than that.

Once again this week we've seen the Lib Dems for what they are, political bottom feeders and opportunists who don't really care about the natinal good, only their own brief moment in a spotlight and their party's positon. They had the chance to hold the line and form a nonagression stance (if not a pact) with the other opposition parties, with the chance of either forming a government of national unity or helping to carve up a Tory majority at the upcoming election. They could have stood shoulder to shoulder, putting differences aside in public. But nay, she's come out to scrap article 50 altogether and she's said Corbyn shouldn't be PM. And for what? So they can gain probably another 10 or 15 MPs from the Tories in the South West and welcome Anna Soubry on-board yet knowing they'll never have the numbers to implement their own policies anyway, while jeopardizing the ability of any wider alliance that could actually smash down the Tories and no deal. "The non cunts of Britian wanted to get across the river and the Lib Dem said 'jump on my back and I'll carry you across'. But you'll sting me? If I did, I'd drown too. Half way across the river the Lib Dem stings them. "Why did you do that? Now we'll both drown!?" I can't help it said the Lib Dem, it's in my nature.

My manc uncle rang me last night to ask if he can send me his Firestick to sort out, hopefully with access to BT Sport because he refuses to pay for it on top of his Sky bill. My reply of “Why? Are you even in Europe this year?” didn’t go down too well. Then we spoke for ten minutes. Him begrudgingly telling me how great he thinks Klopp is and me agreeing whilst repeating that they’re fucking shite. Thirty years I've waited for this.

Decided I'm gonna save up and get my teeth done like Bobby.

Absolute shitshow of a day in the Scottish highlands today so we chilled in my mum and dads motorhome.

'kin'ell ...watching Bein Sports stream. Andy Gray looks old...like...when Darth Vader takes his mask off.

There’s a City ‘fan’ in my local branch of the Labour Party and so he’s in the WhatsApp, FB Messenger groups, etc. He’s quite new, he’s an absolute bellend, a former active member in UKIP and a proper thick cunt. I doubt he’s ever been to Manchester in his life but he was giving it loads in the group this morning about how he was off to Norwich to “see the mighty Man City.” I said nothing because nobody else has ever mentioned football in that chat. Until now. Shackles are off.

What a time to be a United fan. Cheering on your title winning local rivals in the hope they stop your most hated rivals the current European champions from winning the league.

Thanks for the kind words lads. Been a few ups and downs over the years and I've made one or two terrible decisions but it seems to be working out for me overall these days. I'm closing for a major refurb in a few weeks, the pub is going to be fucking amazing when it reopens. I'm not sure what that "easy listening" bollocks is all about. I've got a playlist of videos which I put on random and consists of anything from Foo Fighters to Brian Jonestown Massacre, to Kirsty Macoll to The Doors to The Clash and anything in between. Easy listening my arse.

Absolute filth bobby.

First full week (and two days) as an NQT down and I am shattered. Absolute shock to the system and a million miles away from being a student teacher. Wins, losses, highs, lows it's been a roller coaster. A child left a tooth on my table which was interesting. Every day flies by because I'm always on the go. I have, so far, amazingly supportive colleagues fully sympathetic to new teachers and eager to help and give advice and help if needed. I've been let into the secret of there being "a special level of hell for teachers who don't help other teachers." Also had an insight into some of the cynicism which can build up in long established teachers and am determined not to go down that route with my attitudes towards the children and my work. Becoming increasingly aware of how children with needs are not being catered for due to budget restraints. My class has 4 children who could use 1-1 assistance but I have only 1 support staff which, although more than most other classes, isn't nearly enough. Playing ukulele has made me, by default, the head of music and I don't really have any idea what I'm doing with that but I've been told not to worry about it until Christmas at least whilst I settle in with the exception of finding songs for harvest festival. My class are fantastic though, despite the behaviour issues, and we've had a decent first week. Sure beats sitting on an office looking at spread sheets and wishing my life away.

It's just been announced that the Great Devon and Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled. It's not because of the weather apparently, the organisers couldn't agree on whether to put The Jam or Cream on last.

I disagree.

Booking that Clinton Baptiste was a bit of a clanger.

He was absolutely wonderful today but there was one thing above all other i particularly loved, and I doubt it will have been caught on TV. i swapped my season ticket as a favour to the fella I sit next to, so was in the anny road upper tier for a change, otherwise wouldn’t have seen it myself. second half at 2-1, he played a scooped chip over a defender for Robbo to run into and his cross-shot was saved. Bobby just stood there with a big grin on his face waiting for Robbo to look at him before her shrugged and pulled a face as if to say “how did you not score there mate” and then cracked a huge grin again. it was funny as fuck. Love the bloke.

Now bring back Toffos, Spangles and Pacers, you bastards.

Yeah, we’ll win from here quite comfortably. Archer is bowling great, Curran can hoop it around corners and it’s started turning square. Smith will get plenty of runs but no way they’ll get 400 ish. I still care as well. 2-2 is miles better than 1-3.

He's already more eloquent and insightful than a lot of professional commentators.

If Norwich go 6-0 up I reckon they'll get a point.

The thing is, the refs can be shit bags now and give nothing. And if VAR doesn't give it, it is VAR's fault. It's a fucking mess and just needs to be fucked off, because really what is the point? To give the odd offside nobody was arsed about in the 1st place? I can't work out what problem it solves.

STILL HAVEN’T KEPT A CLEAN SHEET THOUGH HAVE WE? * Takes cyanide pill *

Toffeeweb: That pass from Firmino to Mane which was offside shows real dissent at Liverpool. Obvious dig at Salah for being selfish. Real trouble now. Both off at Xmas. Grinch: Hold my beer.

Whining about it endlessly while trying to paint our start to the season as negative is like being up to the apricots in a prime Kelly Brook and leaving suddenly because her bedside light has a halogen bulb in it.

Bobby is the greatest number nine on the planet.

SALAH AKHBAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to think that Grinch took his username from the character. However, over the last couple of seasons I'm starting to think it was the other way around and Dr. Seuss met him one day then decided to write the book.

When we used to watch United during the fallow years it was always dispiriting how they just couldn’t be kicked out of a game or made to wilt when that “Not our day” thing reared it’s head. Probably my favourite thing about what Klopp has brought to us is that’s what we’re like now.

We’ll get this back. Just need to be patient.

Years of history and perseverance make these my favourite pictures I’ll probably ever see of my dogs.

Gini’s effort that just went over was insane too.

A very convoluted way to tell us you got new trabs. Was any of it true.

Last but not least, my favourite, this tiny little bastard. Nokia 8210

Gold toilet worth a million quid stolen from Blenheim palace. Churchills ancestral home. Plebs having a living wage is greed. Toffs having a million pound shitter is normal send out an appeal.

The best team lost.

it’s time for some more bitter drivel....enjoy

I'm fed up of us only getting 3 and 4 against teams when we should be getting 8 or 9. Need to sort that out. Oh, and if it goes in, that Wijnaldum control and instant volley is goal of the season. Oh, and Fabinho and Firmino are both fucking boss.

Slayed, pig. Slayed.

This is a great, great side Klopp has built.

Patrice Scott - The Detroit Upright Kevin Over - Penthouse Boogie

80 mins played, 4 nil up and Salah (On a hat-trick) will square to Mane who will Hendo it into block 205. Cue lots of laughter on the pitch and from the terraces. Klopp will be furious and substitute Salah for Milner. Then everyone can go back to calling Steve Bruce out for having a big fat head. Jurgens tricky Reds remain top of the league.

I'll have the starter of the gegenpressing terrine, the main of the Mane special, and if I've any space left over after that I might be tempted by the Bobby no-look special for dessert. My wife will have the same.