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The weekend kicked off on Friday night, with Everton having the chance to knock us off top spot. All they had to do was beat winless, newly promoted Aston Villa. An easy task for the big spending Blues, the team tipped by many to be the biggest threat to the big six this year. Well, at least that’s what you’d think if you believed the hype about them. They’re about as much of a threat to the top six as I am to Rafa Nadal’s hopes of winning another French Open. The Blues are what they are. A mid-table side that will never be good enough to be anything more, and probably won’t ever be bad enough to be anything less. They deserved to lose at Villa. They were second best and offered very little. Villa played well and they’ve actually started the season looking very competitive. Unfortunately for them they won’t get to play Everton every week and it’s going to be a slog for them. Everton though. Every year it’s the same. Every year we hear about how good they’re going to be and every year they’re bang average. They’ll win enough home games to keep them in the middle of the table and con their fans into thinking they’re on the right track, but away from home they’ll continue to stink it up. Said it before but it’s worth repeating. Andre Gomes is a massive fraud. I was first alerted to this when everyone seemed to be creaming themselves about him after the Anfield derby. All he did was play a couple of half decent passes while striding around looking handsome. Newsflash, he’s not very good. That’s why he’s at Everton. When you’re that good looking and you’ve got Barcelona on your CV, it’s easy to fool people into thinking you’re better than you are. How the fuck is Richarlison doing it though? He’s never played for Barca and he’s damn sure not handsome. It’s one of life’s great mysteries how he ended up in Brazil’s Copa America squad. I’ve long suspected that they have some equal opportunities scheme whereby shite players are given the same rights as the great ones. Think about it, Brazil’s squads have always been the same. World Class Superstars with a smattering of “how the fuck did he get in there” turds. It’s been like that as long as I can remember. The 1982 squad had Zico, Eder, Falcao, Socrates, Junior…. and some cart horse up front called Serginho. Kleberson actually won a World Cup. And don’t get me started on Fred, Andre Santos, Jo, Afonso Alves, Roque Junior or that fat lad with the cornrows who warmed United’s bench for a few years. Richarlison is a decent Premier League forward. I’m not telling you he’s completely useless and he’s certainly no Dominic Calvert-Lewin, but he’s a 10 goal a season forward who spends so much time lying on the floor he may as well be a fucking rug. Those cheeky bastards are forever complaining on social media about Salah’s diving, when they’ve got this cunt hurling himself around on a weekly basis. I do look at him sometimes though and think he might look good if he had better players around him, but then if he was as good as some seem to think then he should be standing out anyway, surely? Currently the only thing he stands out for is his constant cheating and his annoying face. I took a dislike to him the first time I saw him (opening day against us, two years ago) and my first impressions are usually pretty reliable. So anyway, the Blues had their chance to go above us but their arses went, as usual. They’ve spent so long in our shadow that any time there’s a chance to emerge from it and have a little frolic in the sunshine, they react like an albino and retreat back into the shade. That result was funny but it was topped a day later when United lost at home to Palace. The winning goal came in stoppage time after United had equalised in the last minute. To top it off, after all the discussion that went on after Pogba’s miss last week, Rashford only went and missed a pen! Just absolutely hilarious. There’s so much to this one that I don’t know where to start. Ok, I think I’ll start with Daniel James. What a little prick he’s turning out to be. It was quite a nice story when he got a move from Swansea, but he’s a cocky little prick and he hits the floor quicker than Richarlison. He had more dives than Tom Daley last week at Wolves and that was perhaps in Paul Tierney’s mind when he booked him in this game. Replays showed that he had actually been caught this time, but it’s the boy who cried wolf isn’t it? He’s only been in the league two minutes and his card is marked already. He scored a nice goal to equalise in the 89th minute after United had trailed for most of the game. Now ordinarily, when it’s a game you’re expected to win and you score in the last minute to equalise, you pick the ball up and run back to the centre circle. That’s what United’s other forwards did, only they then had to run back over and drag James away as he was posing with his arms folded in front of the Stratford End. What a tit. You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. Even Lingard wouldn’t have pulled that shit, and when it comes to posing there is virtually nothing that is off limits to that ballbag. So United were now thinking they might go on and win it, only they got caught in hilarious fashion. Pogba was striding forward with the ball but wasn’t paying attention and was robbed by Benteke. The ball was worked to Zaha who drove into the box, and although he had it nicked off his toe, Van Aanholt had made up huge amounts of ground to seize on the loose ball and fire a shot through De Gea at the near post. Incredibly funny. I like Van Aanholt. I don’t think he’s a particularly good full back as he can’t defend and doesn’t really seem like he wants to, but I like the adventurous streak he has that sees him spending more time in the opposition box than Benteke. As for United. They are who we thought they were. This is why I said in the ‘Week that Was’ when they beat Chelsea 4-0 that it was a good thing, because it would give them delusions of grandeur and make them think they’re better than they are. These were my exact words - United spanking Chelsea 4-0 was great. Why? Because they’re shite but this will make people think they aren’t. Let them get their hopes up. Let them think Maguire is going to be their Van Dijk and that this is the season when Pogba lives up to all of his hype. It’s going to make it all the more enjoyable when it all goes to shit and they lose 3-0 at home to Villa or Bournemouth. Ok so it wasn’t 3-0 and it was Palace, but the point stands. And they still might lose 3-0 at home to Villa or Bournemouth. Chelsea got their first win of the season after edging a five goal thriller at Carrow Road. It was deserved, although Norwich put up a good showing and it was a cracking game. Norwich won’t be involved in too many dull ones. Tammy Abraham scored twice while Mason Mount got the other. Just what Lampard needed really, as he’s putting his faith in some of these young players (partly through necessity, but in fairness Giroud, Batshuayi and Willian were on the bench so it’s not like he had no other choice) and his future at the club will hinge on whether they become top level players or not. The jury is obviously still out on Abraham but he definitely has something about him. He looks like he SHOULD be a really good player, but we’ll see. He already looks better than a lot of the high profile, big money flops Chelsea have signed at the position. Kezman, Shevchenko, Torres, Batshuayi, Higuain etc Mount has started the season brilliantly but it’s getting on my tits how commentators feel they have to give him his full name every time they mention him. It’s because both his first name and surname start with the same letter. You automatically feel like you have to say both because they roll off the tongue. There’s loads of examples, and it’s hard not to do it to be fair. It’s just instinctive. Bobby Ball. Charlie Chaplin. Nina Nana. Dion Dublin. Peter Piper. Frankie Fredericks. Gary Glitter. Yeah I’ll stop there. Norwich were good again though, especially going forward. Defensively they can be a bit open but that Godfrey kid looks like a big prospect. My boy Pukki (that’s right, I’ve made it official now) had a goal and an assist. After last week’s Round Up I received a whatsapp message from a Danish mate of mine (who will remain nameless to spare his blushes later in the season when Pukki bags goal number 20) saying “Pukki is shite. Wasn’t even anything special in Denmark and flopped at Schalke and Celtic” So anyway, Pukki scored again and also set one up, and now he’s officially ‘my boy’. So in your face DT! Oooops, sorry Pete! Watford’s dreadful form continued as they lost 3-1 at home to West Ham. When you’re losing at home to West Ham you know you’ve got problems. They got off to a brutal start when the Hammers were handed an iffy pen inside the first minute. Mark Noble slotted it on his 6000th appearance for the club. It might not be that many, but you’d think it was given how much attention it was given by TV and radio. Watford equalised through Andre Gray and then Will Hughes missed from a yard out. Worst miss we’ll see all season that one I think. It proved costly as West Ham’s new centre forward Sebastien Haller tapped in to get off the mark for the season. He added a second not long after to put the game beyond Watford. £45m he cost, which feels like a lot for a player most of us have never heard of, but I constantly have to check myself these days as £45m isn’t really much anymore for English clubs. Javi Gracia is on thin ice as that Watford board don’t fuck about when they’re on a bad run. Hopefully he comes through it as I like him, he seems like a decent bloke. Meanwhile, up in Sheffield, James Maddison’s beautiful pass with the outside of the foot set Vardy clear and he leathered the ball in with his left foot to give Leicester the lead against Sheff Utd. I loved that. As the ball hit the net you heard him shout “YES!!!” and then immediately cup his ears in front of the home end. Vardy was a Sheff Wed fan as a kid so naturally he milked this one, especially as the home fans had booed his every touch prior to that. He was even taunting them on Twitter later, wishing Wednesday fans a good Bank Holiday weekend and posting a pic of his celebration and an Owl emoji. It wasn’t the winner though, as Olly McBurnie headed the Blades level minutes after coming off the bench. I remember the first time I saw him. He was playing at Anfield for Swansea and I looked at him and said to my Dad “what the fuck is that?”. I still think that when I look at him now. He just doesn’t look like a footballer at all. They paid £20m for him, which again backs up my earlier point about how you don’t get much bang for your buck these days. Another sub, Leicester’s Harvey Barnes, got the decisive goal with a stunning half volley from 16 yards. Great finish that, and Leicester have started well. I said at the end of last year they’d be top six this season and I’ve seen nothing to change my mind, either from them or from the Mancs, whose place they’ll be taking. Chris Wilder wasn’t happy with his players afterwards. I liked what he had to say though. He didn’t want to patronised about how his side worked hard as he said “that should be a given, they don’t get praise for that”. The fans had clapped them off for giving it a go but Wilder wants more than just effort. On Match of the Day Lineker referenced him giving the players the hairdryer treatment and then sarcastically asked Danny Murphy and Ian Wright if they’d ever had that. I really enjoy MOTD you know. You’re not getting the in depth tactical analysis you get from Carra and Neville on MNF, but it’s light and breezy and fun. Some of the regulars are a bit dull (looking at you here, Jermaine Jenas), and Wrighty is probably my favourite of their regular rotation. Murphy is hit and miss but I’ll always have a soft spot for ‘SuperDan’ even when he’s talking absolute Zlatan. He was great talking about VAR last week I thought. The opening 30 seconds of the show this week was superb. Last week Lineker had made a bald joke about Shearer and Murphy and there were actually some complaints made about it. Not sure whether these people were genuinely offended, or just wanted to be dicks about it. Not sure which would be worse actually. Anyway, the show starts this week and once again Lineker is joined by a couple of baldies (Murphy and Wright) and he just reels off about 10 hair related puns in 30 seconds, all the while Murphy is chuckling and Wright is in absolute hysterics. Brilliant stuff and a massive ‘fuck you’ to the whoppers who complained. Bet it was fucking Guardiola, the weirdo. There was another great moment later when Lineker says “Which legendary Palace striker scored twice the last time they won at Old Trafford?” Wright is sat there with a massive grin on his face as Lineker throws us the curveball and says “Yes, it was Mark Bright”. Wright should be on every week, he just makes it more fun. There was a south coast derby at the Amex, where Florian Andone was sent off early on as Brighton lost at home to Southampton. Terrible tackle and Brighton’s manager apologised for it afterwards. There was a clip from before the game where one of Andone’s team-mates bizarrely booted him on the ankle as they were walking out onto the pitch for a look around shortly after arriving at the stadium. He wasn’t happy and maybe he carried that irritation onto the field because it was a cunt of a challenge. Djenepo curled in from 20 yards to break the deadlock. Lovely finish following a swift break led by Ings. Lokadia hit the post as Brighton pushed for an equaliser, but they were caught on the counter again in stoppage time as Redmond tapped in at the back post. Not really impressed with Southampton though. Sunday was interesting, as Spurs were beaten at home by Newcastle and Bournemouth briefly threatened to give Man City a scare. I don’t think anyone saw that Spurs defeat coming. Not because Spurs are playing well (they’ve been awful so far), but because Newcastle have been written off by everyone, particularly their own fans. Not that anyone can blame them. Joelinton got the only goal of the game in the first half with a simple finish. The Spurs defenders just left him on his own. Terrible defending. Vertonghen has been on the bench up to now and you have to wonder just what Pochettino sees in that Davinson Sanchez lad, as I’m just not having him at all. When Newcastle signed Joelinton I initially thought they’d bought some lad called Joe Linton and assumed he was a cut price deal from the lower leagues. It was only later I realised he was Brazilian and cost £40m. I really hope he’s shit just so that Ashley can use it as an excuse to never spend another penny. Not that he needs an excuse mind. They defended well and battled hard for their win, but they rode their luck at times. Spurs missed some great chances and were denied a clear penalty when Lascielles fell over and brought down Kane late on. I can understand Mike Dean not being sure on first viewing, but how is that not being overturned by VAR? I’m not complaining as I’m happy Spurs lost, but that looked a ‘clear and obvious’ pen. I’m pleased for Steve Bruce. I like him. I can’t help it, he’s just always come across as a decent fella. I still want them relegated, but it’s nothing personal against him. Wolves haven’t started as well as many of us expected they would. Perhaps the Europa League is going to impact on their domestic form? Their opponents on Sunday know all about that. Burnley were dismal in the opening months of last season but they recovered in the second half of the campaign and they’ve started well this time. I’m boring myself now telling you all how good Ashley Barnes is. He opened the scoring in this one with a brilliant strike from just outside the box, and he was inches away from slotting another just after the break. Hopefully we keep him quiet this weekend, as he’s the biggest threat to us for sure. Wolves were seriously devoid of any real creativity but Jimenez went close to a stoppage time equaliser when his scuffed shot struck the post. Burnley must have thought they’d survived but then with only seconds to go Wolves were awarded a really soft penalty when Jimenez went down. He calmly slotted the pen to give them a third straight draw. They got out of jail in this one though as they were second best for much of it. Finally, City beat Bournemouth, as expected. The only thing I have to say about this is that Harry Wilson scored a fucking screamer of a free-kick after coming on as a sub, which was nice. Actually I have one more observation on this. Regular readers will know that I struggle to look at the TV when Ederson’s face is on there. He’s just really brutal to look at. Well anyway, he’s now got a skinhead which has made him even more gruesome. He looks like an inmate you’d see being interviewed on “Brazil’s toughest prisons”. Wait, one more thing. Aguero did an interview afterwards in English. Fair play, it’s only taken him seven years to learn the basics. I thought I was lazy, but this guy really takes the piss. Kinell. Right, so I said I’d make my predictions after three games and I will. It’s probably not really long enough to get a proper feel for it, especially with the newly promoted clubs who are still playing on adrenaline as it’s all new to them, but here goes anyway. The title is between us and City, and obviously I’m going with us because how can I not? The rest of the top four will be like a bunch of drunks scrapping outside a boozer at 2am. Arsenal might just be the soberest of them and could nick third spot. Fourth will be between Spurs and Chelsea, and I’ll go with Spurs to just edge it even though I don’t feel strongly about it and would not be surprised if Chelsea pipped them. Leicester will get 6th spot ahead of United. At the bottom, Sheffield United will go I think. The other spots will be between Villa, Newcastle, Watford, Palace, Brighton and Southampton. It could be any of them but I’ll say Villa and Watford, but reserve the right to change my mind and flip flop throughout the season as I usually do. I actually have a sneaky feeling it might be Southampton but I'm not willing to commit to that yet.

Saturday Aug 17: Southampton 1 L 2 You know, it’s easy to pick holes in performances sometimes and if we’re being honest, there was a lot about this one that wasn’t good. But when you consider what the boys had to contend with this week, they were never going to be at their absolute best and it’s therefore pointless analysing the performance too much. All that matters is finding a way to win, and they did. They nearly always do these days. “Mentality Monsters”. If Adrian doesn’t make that horrendous fuck up we win this one comfortably and we’re all talking about what a good away display that was. The first was shite, but we played pretty well second half and it was only that blunder that made things a bit hairy. Adrian got away with it big time there though because if Ings hadn’t missed that sitter soon after then everyone would be taking about him. Like Alisson at Leicester last year though, it didn’t cost us so we can look back and laugh. He needs to be much more careful in future though because that casual shit just isn’t acceptable. Thing is though, this is almost inevitable now because managers want their keepers to play out from the back. It doesn’t matter how good they are with their feet (and Adrian is decent), it’s risky and at some point they’ll get caught out. I’m not necessarily saying I want my keeper to launch it all the time, but equally he doesn’t need to always be looking to play fucking slide rule passes to his defenders either. On a positive note though, how good was it seeing Ox back in midfield and playing like that? All things being equal, with everyone fit and one their best form, I think he makes my best eleven you know. Maybe not for every game and a lot of it is opposition dependant (no problem with the ‘three grafters’ set up when we play top sides), but Ox gives us that something a bit different from the others. I just hope he can stay fit now. Also today, I watched the last half an hour of the u18s game today and it was great entertainment. They beat stoke 3-2 with a last minute winner, and what a goal it was. 16 year old Layton Stewart latched onto a brilliant ball by Jake Cain and finished with a mid-air flicked volley lob over the keeper. Firmino-esque it was. He’s supposed to be one to watch. I didn’t see much of him prior to the goal but that finish was so fucking good. There’s a big French lad at the back who caught the eye too. Billy Koumetio. He’s 16 but physically he stands out at this level in the way Big Virg does at senior level. I’m gonna try and watch the 18s as much as I can this year. Sunday Aug 18: So it seems that with yesterday’s win, Klopp became the fastest Liverpool manager to reach 300 points. He doesn’t have a league title to show for that but as I keep saying, none of the sides of the past had to deal with anything like Guardiola’s Man City. I maintain this is the best side we’ve ever had, and although this stat doesn’t really mean a great deal in the grand scheme of things, I feel as though it’s more validation to my view that this team right now is our best ever. The mad thing is is only feels like yesterday that we were being subjected to the weekly comparison with Brendan’s points tally. Meanwhile, Marko Grujic says that former team-mate Phil Coutinho “will be the best player in Germany”. Second best, surely? I mean come on big fella, where’s your self belief? I’m not sure Coutinho will even be the best player at Bayern, let alone the whole league. It all depends on how much his confidence has been knocked by Barca. I wouldn’t have worried about that if we’d brought him back, as Klopp could probably even have me thinking I could go out there and score 30 goals a season (I guarantee my mate John is reading this and thinking “not sure about 30, but you could defo get 25”). Klopp would have had Coutinho back to his old self in no time. Whether Bayern’s coach can do that or not who knows, and frankly now, who cares. I’m interested to see how he does there, but I’m neither rooting for nor against him. Timo Werner is reportedly running down his contract and will be a free agent next summer. Bayern are favourites to get him but we’re STILL being linked with, even though when you actually stop and think about it, we’ve never really done anything to suggest we’re in the slightest bit interested in him. We might be if he’s on a free though. Bet he ends up at Juve though, the bargain bin rummaging through tightwad fucks. Shaq is making some noises about not being satisfied. Nothing he said was especially dramatic but it was enough to give the click baiters what they crave. Basically he thinks he should play more and is hoping to find a solution. Nothing to see here really, he’s got a point but until he gets out on the pitch and actually gets the chance to show he should play more, he can’t really do anything about it. He’s not going to start much and I think he understands that, as there are world class players ahead of him. I think his frustration (and mine) comes from the fact that when subs are made late in games that are in the bag, he still doesn’t usually get on. If Milner is on the bench, Klopp will always bring him on at some point. Same with Hendo actually. Shaq’s problem is that Ox, Lallana and Origi will also be sent on before him. I feel sorry for him, he’s too good to never play. Klopp must have a fucking heart of stone as I just couldn’t do it. One look at Shaq’s little face would be enough for me. I’d be like “You go on and have some fun little fella” and I’d rub his little head. Regardless of what happened on the pitch, seeing his little beaming smile would be worth it. Monday Aug 19: Harry Wilson scored for Bournemouth at the weekend and Klopp sent him a message of congratulations along with a selfie. Imagine being one of his players, you’d constantly be pissing yourself at the mad shit he does. You just know he was pulling some mad face on that selfie. It's going to be interesting to see how Harry does there, because it does feel as though Klopp likes him enough that he wants to give him time and wait for him to develop. He was good at the weekend so that's a perfect start for him. Mo did an interview with CNN and was asked about his future. We got the usual stuff about ‘happy at the club’ ‘happy in the city’ and that has been used for countless articles today on how that means he’ll be staying and talk of him leaving next summer is therefore without foundation. A lot of the talk is because Neville was goading Carra and said ““Salah’s going to leave in the next 12 months, I can see it already. “He [Carragher] knows, he won’t say it. I can see it, you can feel it, you can smell it, you know when a player’s like…” He's shit-stirring but I sort of feel the same way you know. The only thing giving me pause is that I don’t really see any club out there who could afford him. Maybe Mo would fancy a crack at playing for one of the big two in Spain, but they don’t have the cash. Well, Madrid might do as they’re like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, constantly buying shit and saying “yeah yeah put it on my tab”. Their level of debt is massive, yet they still spend £300m this summer or something. If they could do that again then I reckon it would be “bye bye Mo, hello Jaden or Kylian” next summer. Hope not, but it wouldn't shock me. Are we in for Michel Vorm? Achteburg said we’d had talks with him but it wasn’t clear if he meant weeks ago or if we were still looking at it. It’d be a bit of a slap in the face for Adrian if we did bring him in. The only way it would be acceptable is if Alisson’s injury is worse than we’re being told, but the man himself keeps reassuring us he’s fine, so fingers crossed he’s not bullshitting us the way Klopp tends to. Meanwhile, the u23s were spanked at Chelsea tonight. Really disappointing performance considering the exciting talent in the side. Hoever, Van Den Berg, Jones, Larouci, Brewster, Elliott… they should be much better than this but they got battered. Granted, Chelsea had a bit more experience in their side and Batshuayi scored twice, but they were just miles better all over the park and clearly these kids of ours have some developing to do, especially on the physical side of things. They’ve conceded ten goals in three games so far this season. That shit needs cleaning up. Tuesday Aug 20: Klopp is hinting at retirement in a couple of years. Fucking hell. We are where we are right now solely because of him. That’s right, I said it, it’s 100% because of him. Of course others have contributed, but not one of them (players, staff or Michael Edwards) would be looking as good as they are without Klopp. What we’re seeing now, it’s still all on him and we’d still be bumming around hoping to sneak 4th every other year if he hadn’t arrived. He’s had the biggest impact on the club since Shankly when he arrived and transformed the place. We’ve been close to being really good at times since we last won the title and we’ve had some very good managers. We’ve had nothing like Klopp though. What he’s done is incredible, especially as it wasn’t achieved off the back of an open cheque book. Without him, we’ll just drift back into the pack again. Of that I’m sure. I mean who else is there who we could bring in? Pochettino is probably the next best out there, but would he have us at the level we are now? Not for me, even though I do think he’s great in his own right. There’s Guardiola too of course. He’s the next best manager out there behind Klopp, so maybe Edwards should be testing the water there. Ask him if in a couple of years he wants to manage a proper football club instead of that joke of an environment he’s in now? Ok, I wasn’t being entirely serious there (although thinking about it, it’s not as ridiculous as it initially seemed when I started saying it), but we are going to need a contingency plan in case Klopp doesn’t stick around. So what do we do? Personally I think it’s fairly obvious that if Klopp were to retire, within six months he’d be itching to get back in again, just like when he left Dortmund and his ‘year off’ turned into a few months. Shankly regretted quitting and would have come back. Kenny has admitted that once his batteries were recharged he would have liked to have come back too. So if Klopp won’t sign a new deal, offer him double the money with a clause allowing him a year off at any time he chooses. Let Ljinders or someone fill in until he wants to come back. Basically do whatever it takes to keep him, even if it’s something as unorthodox as that. “No individual is bigger than the club” but Klopp is as close as you’ll ever get. Meanwhile, we’ve rejected a loan offer from a Danish club for Bobby Duncan. Bit random that like. I don’t really see what we’d have gained by it, but usually when there’s talk like this it’s because the player is being hawked around behind the scenes (either by club or agent). He’d be much better off playing in the u23s this season and learning the system. If he does well at that level, then loan him out, but he’s got a long, long way to go yet. He’s got something about him and he knows where the net is, but to play in our front three you need to be so well rounded and at this point Bobby isn’t. Wednesday Aug 21: ‘Big Sexy’ is reportedly on his way out at Juve. Surprising in the sense that he didn’t really make much of an impression over there (a league that slow should have suited him perfectly), but not surprising that those scabby bastards are looking to cash in after signing him on a free. Mind you, considering the massively inflated salary they gave him they might not make too much on the deal, as no-one else is stupid enough to match that wage. No-one except United, but our window is shut so they can't do anything even if they wanted to. Can's a good player but if those reports of his salary were accurate they were paying him more than we pay Van Dijk and Salah. Crazy. It’s funny the way he was virtually forgotten about the second he walked out the door though. I can’t ever remember an established player leaving us and the fans just never giving him a second thought afterwards. It was almost like he was never here. We got Fabinho, who’s a much better player, and we picked up 97 points and won a Champions League. Emre picked up a Series A winner’s medal but he was a bit part player and now he’s been placed in the discount bin because they’ve replaced him with some more shiny new toys. Several players have left Liverpool and gone on to better things, but most don’t. And fewer still continue to have things so good when they leave Kloppo. Which brings me nicely to Daniel Sturridge, who today signed for Trabsonzspor. I didn’t see that coming. I was convinced he’d be headed to the MLS, and this is a strange one for me. I just can’t figure out what the appeal is for him going there. I give it less than a year before he’s looking for another club. Also today, Jaden Sancho has signed a new deal at Dortmund. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than they’ll get a bigger fee when he leaves, but you do have to wonder why he would sign this if he was - as claimed - planning on returning to England next summer. Thursday Aug 22: The Anny Road is apparently going to be extended to take the capacity over 60k. At least that’s what the club are implying having allowed the previous planning application to expire having done nothing with it. Whether it happens or not we’ll see. I wonder what would be a realistic number for us to fill every week though? 65 maybe? Possibly 70? We could probably do 80k if ticket prices were lowered, but that’s never going to happen. They’ve put a freeze on it after what happened last time they went for an increase, but you know they’ll be looking to sneak that through just as soon as they feel they can do it without a big backlash. Saw a clickbait headline today that read “Unai Emery reveals the one advantage Liverpool have ahead of this weekend’s fixture”. Presumably that advantage is being fucking miles better than them? Speaking of clickbait, the Echo continues to scrape the barrel for content. “We 'signed' reported £91m target Kai Havertz for Liverpool with spectacular results”. I looked at that and I’m thinking “don’t click as you’ll only end up getting wound up by what you see” so I didn’t click and I moved on. And then I kept thinking, what the fuck were they on about? They didn’t sign him on Footy Manager and write an article based on that, surely? I mean that would be fucking ludicrous. So I went back and almost clicked it. But I didn’t, I carried on with my day. But it continued to bother me. It had to have been footy manager, or Fifa. Would they really do that just to get an article out of it? So I went back, and yep, that’s exactly what they did. It almost defies belief. Someone signed him, then let the season play out on simulation mode and then compiled a detailed report on how his season went. Goals, assists, key passes, what position he mostly played in…. I mean fucking hell, is this where we are now? No wonder so many of our fans on social media are fucking clueless and post shite about wanting to swap the likes of Henderson and Milner for players they only know from fucking Fifa games. Jesus Christ. I’m irrationally angry now, both at the Echo for what they’ve become, and myself for giving them the click. Friday Aug 23: New deal for Ox. Made up for him. There was a feature on him yesterday by Neil Jones at goal.com that really put into perspective what Ox went through. We don’t really get it as fans because we aren’t seeing the daily grind that the injured lads have to go through. We also didn’t know that the injury he had was described at the time by one of the physics as “as bad as it gets”. His knee was completely fucked up and his hamstring muscle was detached from the knee and to be reattached. They didn’t tell us any of this at the time, but you read about it now and it’s like “fucking hell Ox!”. Just so good to have him back and hopefully we'll see him pick up where he left off, as he was looking great until that night against Roma. Looks like Nike might be the new kit makers and it could be a crazy amount of money. Said it before, I’d prefer Adidas just because it would remind me of the 80s and because they could bring out all the boss throwback kits. I’ve got mates who’d rather stay with NB because they like the gear. Ultimately I’m not really arsed. Speaking of not really arsed, Fernando Torres retired today. I’m not really arsed, because in his last 12 months here he was not really arsed. .... and that was the week that was.