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Saturday Jun 22: United’s move for Harry Maguire is in danger because another club has entered the race and are willing to offer him 280k a week. That other club? Man City. Of course, oui. Their wage bill is less than ours though, remember. I hope this is true because outside of Paul Pogba he’s the most over-rated player in the league. I’m not saying he’s shit, but the hype doesn’t match the player. He’s be great for United, where he’ll get more protection from the midfield and full backs, but City’s defenders face the same challenge ours do. They’re left isolated a lot and defend high up the pitch. Our forwards would fucking destroy him, so I hope this happens. Mind you, if Kompany has left behind his ‘get out of jail free card’ it won’t matter anyway as he’ll just hack them down without punishment. Wait, he’s already got one of those cards of his own hasn’t he? I’d forgotten about that. No wonder City want him to replace Kompany. A slab head replacing a bulb head. Perfect fit. Meanwhile, there was a no look finish from Bobby as Brazil battered Peru. This was one of his better ones, and it might be the most Bobby goal ever. He almost scored by blocking a clearance, and when it came back off the woodwork he went round the keeper and scored while looking in the opposite direction. Only Bobby could have scored a goal like that. I’d be happy enough for them to win it. Usually I’d be on board the Argie bus, but we’ve got two lads playing for Brazil, and besides, Argentina are fucking garbage. Look at their team these days, it’s staggeringly shit. They’ve actually got a Spurs reserve starting for them. Funes Mori is in the squad too. I didn’t even know he’d left Everton but wiki tells me he plays for Villarreal now where next season he’ll be joined in that back four by Alberto Moreno. What did those fans do to deserve that? The most surprising name in the Argie squad is Pereyra from Watford. Not only because Argentina are now scraping a barrel where they’re calling up players from Watford, but because I always thought he was Uruguayan. Turns out he's Argentinian. Who knew? The mighty have fallen, big time. Hard to look past Brazil for this one, but their record in this competition is shit so there’s always that. Watched a bit of the women’s world cup tonight. Hadn’t seen any of it until this, but I saw extra time and pens of Norway’s win over Australia and it was boss. End to end and incident packed. Australia’s penalties though, fucking hell. I keep planning on watching some of these games but life always gets in the way. I’ll defo watch if the England girls get to the semis, and I’ll be rooting for them to win it. Which tells me that I’m not actually anti-England, I’m just anti-everything that surrounds the England men’s team. Sunday Jun 23: "If he [Salah] has the chance to play in the best league of the world, which is the Spanish one, he has to sign for Barcelona. Mo has everything to be one of the best players in the world.” So says Samuel Eto'o. Newsflash Sammy boy, he already is one of the best in the world, he plays for a team that fucking obliterated your Barcelona boys (and did it without him) and he’s a European Champion. What the fuck is this shit. Is Eto’o Cameroon’s answer to Paul Merson? “Best league in the world” hahaha fuck off. Messi and Ronaldo have padded their stats for decades by banging in hat-tricks every second week against slapdicks like Eibar, Girona, Rayo Vallecano etc I’m not disputing the greatness of either, but if they had spent their entire careers playing in our league and not in Spain you could probably knock 100 goals of both of their totals. Staying with the bang average La Liga theme, Real Betis want Divock. Can’t see him going there. They finished 10th and haven’t been relevant since Denilson played there. Maybe we could swap him for Joaquin? Remember him? We were linked with him every summer for years. Holy Shit!! I was actually taking the piss there, but I just googled Joaquin to see what he’s doing now and he’s still playing for Betis. He’s 37 and he’s their fucking captain!! Hahahaha. Best league in the world though, eh? As if Divock is going there. Maybe they’d have better luck going for Sturridge. In five years time. Monday Jun 24: Rafa is leaving Newcastle which probably means Newcastle are leaving the Premier League. No-one else they are capable of landing is going to be able to do what Rafa did there. He might not be the best manager out there, but he’s the best Newcastle could get in their current situation. The fans are livid but they just don’t have a clue how to deal with Ashley. They’ve had protests but they’ve been embarrassing. A few dozen of them standing outside Sports Direct shops shouting abuse at the zero contract spotty teenage staff. There was a photo of around 20 of them protesting outside St James’ today. It was a pitiful turnout and I saw a Sunderland fan joke that “the other 51,980 are at home filling out their season ticket renewals”. Nailed it. Maybe I’m cold hearted and spiteful, but I feel no sympathy for them at all. It’s karma for chanting USA at us when we were up shit creek with Hicks & Gillett. And for them cheering Man City goals when we played them on the last day of the 2013/14 season. My wife’s niece’s fella is a Newcastle fan though and he’s sound. He was telling me a couple of weeks ago he was supporting us in the final because “after the season you had it wouldn’t have been right for you not to win something”. Honestly, it briefly made me feel like a right cunt for some of the things I’ve written about Geordies this year. Then he said “all my mates wanted you to lose though” so that eased my guilt somewhat. Mike Ashley is a tit and he’s a fucking abysmal owner. But he’s not stupid. He knows Rafa was doing a great job there and he knows this is bad news for himself as well as the club. If he’s letting Rafa walk then the first thing I’d ask is “what the fuck was Rafa asking for?”. It’ll have been full control on transfers, a bigger budget and a pay rise for himself. The one time Ashley gave him cash he went over to the MLS and signed that worm with eyebrows Almiron. Whatever it was, Ashley wouldn’t back down and it’ll probably cost Newcastle their place in the top flight. As for Rafa, he’ll be alright. He’s done a good enough job at Newcastle that he’ll be in demand. Wherever he goes though, it won’t run smoothly as he loves the aggro too much. He could cause an row in an empty board room. Tuesday Jun 25: Suarez is in the news today over his antics in a Copa America game against Chile last night. First, he appealed for handball against the keeper for making a save INSIDE THE BOX, and later he was demanding a card for a Chile player who had tackled a Uruguay fan who had ran on the field. See, this is why I still love him and always will. Don’t get me wrong, I’m over him now (it took years), but he’s still fucking boss. Is there anyone else who takes it to these kind of extremes? He’s fucking hilarious. Palace want Mignolet. Makes sense, he’s miles better than anything they have and they love a big club Belgian cast off. There has been some talk that we are trying to persuade him to stay. I don’t see it. He’s too good a pro to just sit on his arse and not play. At a push we might be able to get him to give it one more year, but it seems unlikely. Meanwhile, Van Gaal is begging up Milner at the expense of Messi and Neymar. Great stuff from the loony toons Dutchman. “Look at Barcelona. How many Champions [League] have won with what they say is the best player in the world?” he told El Pais. “Look at Neymar at PSG. How many Champions won? Neymar and Messi I like them as individual players, not as team players. I believe that in collective games there is nothing more important than the team player. “One of the best is James Milner. In the final of the Champions he played as a defender and as a midfielder. It’s great that I can offer that at 33. I think Messi should ask himself how it is possible that he has not won a Champions League for so long.” It’s not too dissimilar to something I wrote in Milner’s season report card. Messi called Milner a donkey but if he had a couple of Milner’s in his team they wouldn’t have been spanked in Rome and at Anfield. There is no team in the world that can’t benefit from having a James Milner type or two in their line up. Wednesday Jun 26: Spurs look like they’ve beaten United to the signature of that midfielder from Lyon. He’s meant to be good, and midfield is probably where Spurs are weakest so this probably separates them even further from United, Chelsea (I know they finished ahead of Spurs, but no way in hell are they a better side) and of course Arsenal. The Gunners have problems in midfield too, but they have problems everywhere except up front. The latest is that Torreira apparently wants out because he doesn’t like Emery. Next year is going to be us and City miles ahead again. We’re on the brink of making a signing too. Sepp Van den Berg, a 17 year old Dutch defender, is set to turn down Bayern to come and join Big Virg and Ki-Jana Hoever. He’s played a number of top flight games in Holland and has been compared to Joe Gomez. I’m going out on a limb here and I’ll say he’s going to be fucking brilliant. Thursday Jun 27: Van den Berg officially signs and does his first interview. He nailed it too. Have a read of these quotes… “It’s just amazing. It is, for me, the biggest club in the world and it’s a dream come true. I am really excited,” he said. “Football without fans is nothing. I can say Liverpool has the best fans in the world, so I am really excited to hopefully [get a chance] to play with them behind me. “Longer-term, I hope I can play as much as possible here for the club. Short-term, [my target is] to be with the first team, develop myself, grow into the team and see how it goes. Long-term, I really want to be a legend here.” That’s what you want to hear, fucking boss that. Not looking beyond being a Liverpool player, wants to spend his whole career here and become a legend. Chances are he won’t succeed (not a reflection on him, it’s just the odds are massively against it) but that's defo the spirit you want. I’m looking forward to seeing this kid play, especially if they pair him with Hoever at the back. In other news, Mo scored for Egypt last night, but he made more headlines for this comment on Twitter. “Women must be treated with the utmost respect. “No” means “no.” Those things are and must remain sacred. I also believe that many who make mistakes can change for the better and shouldn’t be sent straight to the guillotine, which is the easiest way out.” Why is he randomly just putting stuff like that out there? Is this just an ongoing campaign from him, or was it in response to something I’ve missed? Maybe it was just a shot at Ronaldo? Over in the Copa America, Bobby missed a penalty in a shoot out win over Paraguay. Brazil aren’t very good but they never concede any goals because big Alisson is the man. Meanwhile, in the Women’s World Cup England beat Norway 3-0 to reach the semi finals. I planned on watching this but once again, something came up and got in the way. When I saw the score my reaction was “good for them” rather than “fuck off” which again reaffirms to me that my reason for not supporting the men’s national team isn’t because they’re ‘England’. It’s because they’re followed by loads of absolute cunts who I resent even having to breathe the same air as, let alone support the same team as them. Most of those pricks will be looking down their noses at the girls, which just makes me want them to win even more. Up the Lionesses!! Fnaar fnaar. I don’t even care that Phil Neville is the coach. He’s always been fairly harmless, in no small part because he was shite. Especially in derby games. Friday Jun 28: It’s my birthday today. I’m 46. Fuck me. That’s almost 50. I don’t feel like I’m that old. I mean, if I see a fella on the street that’s about my age, I still see them in the same way I did when I was younger. I see a fella pushing fifty, I don’t look and think “he’s about my age”, I just see him as an older fella. A grown up. I don’t see myself like that though. Is it just me that thinks like this? How did I get to be this old? It just crept up on me and I don’t like it. I did get a nice video from the club though, with Milner, Alisson, Matip, Shaq and others all wishing me a Happy Birthday. I know they send the same video out to everyone on their birthday, but I don’t care. It felt like they were wishing me a Happy Birthday and I loved it. Disappointed there was no Robbo, Big Virg or Hendo on there though. Maybe next year? In proper news today, Naby is injured. Big surprise there eh? He wasn’t fit, he was never going to be fit but they bullied him (and LFC) into showing up and playing. And now they’re sending him back broken. Again. I feel sorry for Naby as he’s the biggest star in his country and will have felt enormous pressure to give it a go. It’s really hard for African lads to say no to their country without being branded traitors. The decision should have been taken out of his hands by their doctors, but like so many African nations their FA just doesn’t give a fuck. Let’s not forget that the president of their FA was calling Klopp a liar when he said Naby wouldn’t be recovered sufficiently in time for the tournament, and he also basically said it’s got fuck all to do with us what they do. and that was the week that was…